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Whac-A-Mole players ( by Laura ) _______________________________________________ Many people and organizations focus on preventing violence with the belief that if our society can stop violence against children, then most childhood trauma will be eradicated. However, research that has emerged over the last 20 years clearly shows that focusing primarily on violence prevention – physical and sexual abuse, in particular – doesn’t eliminate the trauma that children experience, and won’t even...

The world can be a dark place for many children: the "lost boys" from Sudan, refugees fleeing the conflict in Syria, child sex workers in Brazil, baby girls abandoned in China, kids pulled into gang drug wars in the United States. Such suffering by children is more common than most people might think and represents what some believe to be one of our biggest public-health crises of all time. A study published in January in the journal Pediatrics puts that violence into stark perspective by...

Great article by Barbara J. King. An excerpt: The biggest lesson that I've taken from Self-Reg is that when a child insists that a teacher's voice is harsh, or a restaurant or classroom is unbearably bright or loud, we need to recognize (even though we might not experience things that way at all) that the child is very probably not lying, exaggerating or trying to be oppositional. Instead, the child's biological sensitivities may make her exquisitely reactive in a way that triggers a...

This is part 2 of the Dear Sugar Podcast on Family Secrets . This is a topic so many of us grapple with in one way or another, maybe once in a while or maybe a lot. When and if and how to share secrets? What to do with secrets not openly disclosed? How to respond to secrets shared with us? There are no easy answers or lists of what to do. Just conversation and discussion and food for thought. And food for feelings.

"Of course, consequences are only effective if your child buys in and decides to change. It can be frustrating to hear that, but ultimately their behavior is up to them . Maybe your son will eventually get tired of not having his cell phone and decide he’d rather check-in on schedule. Maybe. That’s up to him. Your job is to consistently hold him accountable through consequences, whether or not he decides to change. It’s easy when you are feeling exasperated with your child to resort to doing...

I saw the funniest meme today by Sue Fitzmaurice. I don't know her writing but this made me laugh so hard that I will certainly be reading more about her. Forgiveness is tough. As I age I find myself feeling more and more forgiving - and much more often than I did when younger. When I was younger, it felt like forgiveness was a way of saying what was done (when it came to abuse) or not done (when it come to neglect) was o.k. It wasn't o.k. as in ideal or healthy or good for me. I didn't even...

Rick Hanson has a series of free podcast talks, Being Well , on Soundcloud which are excellent. He combines science, spirituality and the power of simple storytelling. His podcasts are informative, educational and also interesting. Though they aren't geared specifically towards trauma survivors or parents, I've found them helpful. They have done more to help me understand why and how mindfulness is healing than most anything. Plus, they help me learn more about human nature in general which...

This video is powerful and the site provides an app for daily brain-building activities and interactions made easy. Website with more: http://www.joinvroom.org/

If you know, love, live with, work with or want to better understand men who are survivors, and become fathers, t his entire series has been amazing. Here's an excerpt from the one with Jeff Glover who is part of the malesurvivor.org team and answered some questions. 7. What would you tell another survivor father who is expecting their first child? I would tell him to brace himself! The journey has been the most intense that anyone could imagine. But for all the pain and fear and yes face it...

Great column by Maia Szalavitz who is the author of “Unbroken Brain: A Revolutionary New Way of Understanding Addiction.” There are, speaking broadly, two schools of thought on addiction: The first was that my brain had been chemically “hijacked” by drugs, leaving me no control over a chronic, progressive disease. The second was simply that I was a selfish criminal, with little regard for others, as much of the public still seems to believe. (When it’s our own loved ones who become addicted,...

Be There. But Not Too There. My parents worked. A lot. But they made sure they were home every night, and they were there every morning. And they were very diligent about the important stuff. They checked that I did my homework. But in the hours between getting home from school and going to bed, my sister and I were left to our own devices. So, my afternoons could be spent doing any number of things, from bothering my sister to listening to music with her to watching the Diff'rent...

Best line I read anywhere today? "Isabelle Mansuy and her team have now shown that the impact of childhood trauma can be corrected by a low-stress and enriched environment in adult life." Isn't that encouraging? I saw this in a Mad in America post via a Facebook post from another AcesConnection member. This community is great! The full article, posted originally in the EurekAlert is here: http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2016-06/uoz-not062316.php