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Parenting with PACEs. PACEs science & stories. Trauma-informed change.

Trauma-Informed Parenting

It took my son’s meltdown and a lightbulb moment for me to stop parenting on autopilot [theguardian.com]

By Conal Hanna, the Guardian, September 13, 2021 The dawning realisation of my limitations as a parent came in the aftermath of a(nother) pre-swimming meltdown. My son was approaching four at the time but still swam like a baby. That might sound harsh but I mean it literally – he was still in the “parent and bub” class splashing alongside six-month-olds. What’s more, his stubborn resistance to the class was growing by the week. We had tried seemingly everything. Lots of cuddles, reassurance,...

Why Covid Has Broken Parents’ Sense of Risk (nytimes.com)

By Jessica Grose, The New York Times, Sept. 15, 2021 Every decision for not-yet-vaccinated kids feels like an unsolvable equation. There was a brief, shining moment in early summer when the decisions around Covid and my family felt manageable. My husband and I were vaccinated and had returned to some of our favorite indoor activities, like stand-up comedy shows and the gym. Our kids were at a mostly outdoor day camp with procedures we trusted, and the local case rate was low. But as July...

Regenerative Relationships: Climate Crisis Resilience (jennisilverstein.com)

By Jennifer Silverstein, LCSW, jennisilverstein.com, Blog 2021. “Every time I rescue a bee, it matters. If I didn’t rescue it, the hive may not have enough bees, and then there’d be less honey, and less flowers, and less fruit, and when people go shopping there would not be enough for them to eat.” – Dani, 7 years old I have spent 7 years teaching her about the interdependence of all life, and our place in the web of living beings. Yet upon hearing her articulate the values I so carefully...

Sleepless New Parents: Navigating Uncertainty and Loss (Claudia M. Gold MD)

By Claudia M. Gold MD, September 7, 2021 Among the most common sources of suffering for new parents – sleep deprivation- may lead to a desperate search for certainty. Lack of sleep can strain relationships between parents, siblings, and grandparents. It may aggravate or even precipitate depression. Once parents find their way to my pediatrics practice where I specialize in infant-parent mental health, they have typically tried all sorts of methods and prepackaged sets of instructions. They...

10 Kids Books Psychologists Recommend in 2021 [books.childrensbooksassociation.com]

By Sara Darnell, Children's Book Association, July 20, 2021 Psychologists everywhere have noticed an uptick in children experiencing anxiety, stress, confusion, and other issues that have come as a result of 2020. We should note that these are completely normal things for children to experience, but what is the best way to work through these feelings? Many psychologists have turned to children's books to teach young readers how to deal with their emotions. [ Please click here to see the list .]

The Secret to Raising a Resilient Kid (NY Times)

By Erik Vance, NY Times, Sept. 1, 2021 The ability to bounce back is more important now than ever; here’s how to impart it. In my early teens, my dad took myself, my best friend and our neighbor on a grueling backpacking trip connecting California’s Yosemite Valley to Half Dome to nearby Clouds Rest mountain and back again. By the second day — halfway up Clouds Rest, on wobbly legs and besieged by mosquitoes — we finally mutinied. The three of us made it clear to my father that we were done.

Big Heart World Parent and Caregiver Guides

Each month of the Big Heart World initiative , we will share a guide for parents and caregivers. The guide will introduce the the big idea of the unit, provide an overview of the resources that are available, and suggest ideas for how parents and caregivers can use the Big Heart World’s resources to support their children’s social and emotional learning. Feel free to print and share! August's guide is on Empathy . Past guides have covered the following themes: Friendship Similarities and...

How to Support Teenagers as They Head Back to School (NY Times)

By Lisa Damour, New York Times, Aug. 23, 2021 Adolescents are readying for the next step in a seemingly endless set of challenges. Here’s how to help them regulate their emotions. Many teenagers are feeling understandably upset as they face a third school year disrupted by Covid-19. Some are frustrated about the return to masks and other precautions. Others are nervous about how they will stay safe at school , or worried about eagerly anticipated activities being postponed or canceled. They...

How Parents Can Ask for Flexibility When Offices Reopen (NY Times)

By Diane Mehta, New York Times, August 25, 2021 With some employers looking to bring staff back to work on-site, here’s how parents can ask for schedule accommodations. Kate Westrin, a mother of two in Denver, used to commute to the office four days a week for her job as a people experience manager at Xero, a cloud-based accounting software company. After working from home throughout the pandemic, returning to her previous schedule felt impossible, she said. With the Delta variant...

A Solution to the Desperate Need to Belong

As humans, we have a basic, primal need to belong. Belonging is defined as ‘the feeling of security and support when there is a sense of acceptance, inclusion, and identity for a member of a certain group . It is when an individual can bring their authentic self to others, including friendships, family and work.’ Feeling disconnected, unimportant, or not cared about can translate into feelings of loneliness. This has led to much of the suffering our society is experiencing today. Cigna...

4 Ways Parents Can Calm Their Back-To-School Fears (NY Times)

By Pooja Lakshmin, M.D., New York Times, Aug. 20, 2021 A psychiatrist offers these tools to her patients who worry that Delta will disrupt the school year. As a psychiatrist specializing in women’s mental health, I have spent the past few months celebrating alongside my patients as they planned family reunions and sent kids off to summer camp. But with the arrival of the Delta variant, old questions and a familiar despair have begun to resurface in our sessions: Patients find themselves...

The Persistent Joy of Black Mothers [theatlantic.com]

By Leah Wright Rigueur, The Atlantic, August 11, 2021 My first two children entered the world to the sound of my laughter—peals of uncontrollable laughter. When my third child was born on a cruelly hot night last summer in a sterile delivery room, his experience was no different. My reaction to birthing a child may have seemed bizarre to a besieged and battle-weary hospital staff in the midst of a pandemic, but I believe that my joy was a normal response to my scenario. Celebratory joy felt...

The Toll on Children's Health during COVID-19 [bu.edu]

By Eric Moskowitz, Bostonia, July 28, 2021 Near the end of the strangest school year of her life, Julia, a Newton North High School freshman, found herself scrolling an Instagram feed full of her friends posting COVID-vaccine selfies. Some boasted that they felt like superheroes, newly powerful. One said she could finally exhale, calling it her “first deep breath” in over a year. Neither captured what Julia was feeling as she worked up the nerve to get her first shot. “I was really nervous...

Supportive Parenting Best for Kids (Positive Parenting Newsfeed)

ORLANDO, Fla. (Ivanhoe Newswire)—From fear to stress, the global pandemic has forced children everywhere to deal with a wide range of emotions and feelings. Some might act out, while others learn to keep their cool. But a new study shows how parents respond to their child’s emotions matters a great deal. When your child loses control, how do you act? A new study finds that a parent’s response to big emotions can impact kids’ behavior. Researchers followed 207 children in kindergarten, first,...

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