Tagged With "relationships"
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Helping Parents Develop Positive Relationships with their infants to toddlers (National Partnership to End Interpersonal Violence,NPEIV).
Zero to Three Resource- extracted from website and with discussion text by Karin Hecht (September 14, 2018) Bonding activities between parent and child can be a great way to help a child’s development and strengthen the relationship. The Zero to Three website has great resources for child-centered activities to help little ones learn and grow. One particularly useful resource for parents and care providers are a collection of stage-by-stage age-based tips and what to expect as your baby...
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Helping Someone with PTSD: Helping a Loved One While Taking Care of Yourself (www.helpguide.org/)
"PTSD can take a heavy toll on relationships. It can be hard to understand your loved one’s behavior—why they are less affectionate and more volatile. You may feel like you’re walking on eggshells or living with a stranger. You may have to take on a bigger share of household tasks, deal with the frustration of a loved one who won’t open up, or even deal with anger or disturbing behavior. The symptoms of PTSD can also lead to job loss, substance abuse, and other problems that affect the whole...
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How to Avoid Being Psychologically Destroyed by Your Newsfeed (blog post)
Excerpt from this blog post, which I wrote earlier today: "This past week has been brutal, in terms of what has been coming across my newsfeed. And 2016 wasn't exactly a picnic either. So lately I've been thinking a lot about the mental health impact of a steady avalanche of Really Bad News. Many of us (myself included) deal with mental health challenges on a daily basis and being fed a steady diet of devastating world events only serves to make that harder. So I've decided to share a few...
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Transforming Trauma Podcast: The Blind Spots of Privilege and Complex Trauma in Marginalized Communities
Transforming Trauma Podcast: The Blind Spots of Privilege and Complex Trauma in Marginalized Communities Claude Cayemitte, a clinical social worker and NARM Therapist, joins the Transforming Trauma podcast to examine how complex trauma impacts individuals from marginalized communities and how unrecognized cultural trauma can lead to misattunement in the therapeutic relationship. Using the NeuroAffective Relational Model as a foundation, and his own background as a Haitian-American male...
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Trauma, Attachment, and Relationships
Interventions in the Attachment and Relationship Problems Trauma Can Cause Julie De Wilde Alfred Adler Graduate School Abstract Much research has been done on the negative effects of trauma on attachment, which then has negative effects on relationships. Research more recently has focused on the positive post traumatic growth that can happen when clients receive safe, healthy attachment to a therapist they can trust. Research also includes the benefits to the client when a therapist includes...
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System Changes Could Improve Relationships between Incarcerated Mothers and Their Children [chapinhall.org]
By Amy Dworsky, Colleen Schlecht, Gina Fedock, et al., Chapin Hall at the University of Chicago, March 2020 The dramatic increase in the number of women in state and federal prisons in recent decades has led to calls for gender-responsive policies and practices that address the needs and circumstances of incarcerated women and recognize the central role that motherhood plays in many incarcerated women’s lives. This brief describes the results of a project undertaken by researchers from...
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The Building Blocks of HOPE – Block #1: Relationships
HOPE is a natural fit for ACES Connection. To further embrace the members of ACES Connection we have created a Balancing ACES with HOPE community and encourage all to visit and join. Please read our blogs and post your comments. Let us know how you think HOPE could impact your work and personal life. Being in nurturing, supportive relationships are critical for children to develop into healthy, resilient adults. This concept forms the first of the 4 Building Blocks of HOPE . What types of...
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The Emptiness You Feel is Trying to Tell You Something
I read a short story last week that was about emptiness and love. That funny thing that happens sometimes, happened, and three different people wrote to me within about 24 hours about… emptiness and love. They were feeling -- and I think a lot of us are feeling it -- a harsh, empty, loveless feeling that keeps swooping into their consciousness during this quarantined period, sounding the alarm that something HUGE is missing from our lives. One woman even said “I know you’ll think I’m crazy...
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The First Five Years Matters: Quality of Early Relationships determines Lifelong Health
Quality of Early Relationships determines Lifelong Health The first relationship—usually this is between the mother and her infant—has an enduring impact on all later stages of human development. This relationship which occurs has been described by Bowlby’s attachment theory, which at its core, is about how the mother helps the infant regulate emotion. The mother-infant attachment communications are essential because they directly affect the development of the brain. Dr. Allan Schore, the...
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How to Deal With Childhood Trauma and Build More Meaningful Adult Relationships [scmp.com]
By Luisa Tam, South China Morning Post, October 27, 2019 Unresolved childhood issues that often lie dormant for years can suddenly come flooding back. Not only can this be painful for the individual, but it can hurt our relationships with other people, especially romantic ones. They say a difficult childhood can have many lifelong negative effects, such as the inability to form meaningful and long-lasting relationships, build trust, or intimacy with another person. We all desire love and...
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How to Support Someone (Like Me!) Who Has Experienced Trauma
This blog post and infographic is dedicated to the wonderful man (too shy to want to be named) who has had the patience and sheer tenacity to stick around for six years while we have figured out what I needed as a trauma survivor to be able to tolerate a relationship with a romantic partner. (And for him to tolerate me!) If you didn't have a safe, stable nurturing relationship with your primary caregiver as a child, you need and yearn for that kind of connection as you go through life. And...
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New TRANSFORMING TRAUMA Podcast!
The NARM Training Institute is thrilled to announce our new podcast: Transforming Trauma . The Transforming Trauma podcast is designed to highlight individuals and communities thriving after Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and Complex Trauma (C-PTSD). Interviews with NARM Therapists, and other prominent trauma specialists, will highlight how the NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM) fills a missing gap in the current trauma-informed efforts to address the legacy of developmental,...
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Positive Relationships Can Buffer Childhood Trauma and Toxic Stress, Researchers Say [bostonglobe.com]
By Kay Lazar, The Boston Globe, October 15, 2019 Traumatic events and toxic relationships during childhood can cast long shadows, often damaging mental health well into adulthood. But a growing body of research suggests sustained, positive relationships with caring adults can help mitigate the harmful effects of childhood trauma. And specialists say pediatricians, social workers, and others who work with kids should take steps to monitor and encourage those healthy relationships — just as...
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Anxious Attachments in Relationships
As an Asian male in his forties and a single dad to a teenage son, I've always felt it hasn't been easy to meet women that I can connect with. In addition, my track record of being in relationships has been far from stellar. As a childhood abuse survivor, I unknowingly took the pain I endured into my relationships. With zero self-awareness, I was insecure and needy, which resulted in a lot of angry outbursts and emotional abuse towards my partners.
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Attachment Parenting helping to prevent ACEs
The ACE study has demonstrated how impactful adverse childhood experiences are on an individual; impacting mental, emotional and social growth as well as negatively affecting physical health. In recent years professionals have turned their focus to the prevention of ACEs and one thing stands out. We must address the intergenerational transmission of these adverse experiences. But how do we do that? One of the answers lies in our parenting skills. Research has shown that early life...
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Bringing Baby Home Educator Training
Bringing Baby Home Facilitator Training comes to Santa Ana, November 14-15, 2019. Research continues to show that our children are most fragile in the first years of their life. Even the strongest relationships are strained during the transition to parenthood. Lack of sleep, never-ending housework and new fiscal concerns can lead to profound stress and a decline in marital satisfaction – all of which affect baby’s care. Not surprisingly, 67% of new parents experience conflict, disappointment...
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Childhood PTSD and Avoidance: Learning to Be OK in Groups (Resilience Series)
It’s super common for those of us who grew up with abuse and neglect when we were small, to feel as adults that we are on the outside somehow. When we're in groups we feel as if we are only partly in it, and never really included . Or we start as a full participant but pull away over time. We un-include ourselves. But it feel like other people are keeping us out. The telltale sign that being on the outside could be a personal choice, even when it doesn’t feel like it, is that we’re almost...
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CPTSD and Social Awkwardness: Another Source of Isolation
For those of us who grew up with abuse and neglect at home, it can be hard to know how to ACT in social situations. Here's an example.... Have you ever been to a hotel where there is a person who is there to carry your bags, and even though you didn’t ask, they carry your bags to the room and it’s totally awkward, and you think “I’m supposed to give them a tip, right? I’ve, like seen this on TV. But you don’t have cash, and they’re just standing there ," and you think, "What do I do? What do...
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Oh, Good, the Kids Are Fighting Again [nytimes.com]
By Christina Caron, The New York Times, May 8, 2020 The wails. The screeching. One more conference call interrupted. After months of social distancing, children are as frustrated as their parents. “They’re fighting over who’s sitting in what chair,” said Ana Balich, a mother of three who lives in Chicago. “They always fought about stuff like that, but it just seems like its been worse.” In her household, like so many others, daily routines have been disrupted and her children are spending...
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Seven Steps to Calm an Explosive Child
Are you exhausted by the explosive behaviors of the children you love? First, I want to say I am so proud of you. I know the fatigue and frustration that comes with parenting a child who feels out of control. The fact that you are reading this article means you are looking for support and guidance, and that means you are on your way to helping the children in your life. And believe me, you are probably already doing a better job than you think! Kids need you to show up more than anything!
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The Role of Culture on Teens' Beliefs About Dating Explored in New Video Games
Announcing the winning video games designed to explore the role of culture on teens' beliefs about healthy dating relationships.
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For Survivors of Childhood Trauma: How To Find REAL LOVE
For people who were abused and neglected in childhood, one of the cruelest ways the damage shows up is in romantic relationships. Too many of us go through life either alone, or in relationships where we’re not loved, not safe, and not happy. It doesn’t have to be that way. If you have Childhood PTSD and you’re wondering why you keep attracting people who are either dysfunctional, unavailable or abusive -- you’re going to want to read this... READ FULL BLOG POST or.. WATCH THE VIDEO ON...
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The Ultimate Parent Support - Nonviolent Communication
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Coparenting and Healthy Relationship and Marriage Education for Dads (CHaRMED): Results from a Qualitative Study of Staff and Participant Experiences in Nine Fatherhood Programs
Fathers, children, and their families benefit from healthy coparenting and romantic relationships. Healthy relationships can improve fathers’ mental health and the quality of their involvement with their children, and can support positive health and developmental outcomes for children. In accordance with legislation authorizing Responsible Fatherhood (RF) programming, the Office of Family Assistance (OFA) within the Administration for Children and Families (ACF) requires relationship...
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Childhood PTSD is a Disease of Loneliness. Here's How to Learn to Connect Again.
Trauma from childhood is, in essence, an injury to the ability connect with people. And that's why so many people who were traumatized as kids experience loneliness throughout their lives -- sometimes even when they're surrounded by people. In this post I share a 10-minute video excerpted from my online course "Healing Childhood PTSD." it's all about loneliness and disconnection, and how to reconnect again. READ THE POST AND WATCHED HERE.
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6 tips for healthy communication with parents
As we grow up, we have to rebuild relationships with parents: to get out of the usual adult-child paradigm and learn to speak as equals. At this stage, it is easy to distance yourself from them and lose understanding. We will tell you how to communicate with your parents when you are no longer a child. Talk to them as adults, not as parents If you are angry that your parents still communicate with you like a child, try changing your style of interaction with them. Evaluate how independent...
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“What Happened to You?” by Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey: a book that resonates with us in the PACEs world
What do PACEs Connection and “What Happened to You?”, the new book by Oprah Winfrey and Bruce Perry, have in common? Almost everything. That’s my conclusion after I finished listening to the book on Audible and re-reading parts of it on Kindle. In the book, Winfrey, a w orld-class connector, journalist, entertainer, author, thought leader, actor, and philanthropist, teams up with her longtime friend Perry, a child psychiatrist, neuroscientist and principal of the neurosequential model of...
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Learning to Be Human: Jack-In-The-Box
BY: ERIN ROBINSON My mother works in child care. When I would drop by for a visit, I never paid close attention to what I was saying around the infants. “The babies won’t remember me,” I thought, “and they certainly won’t remember anything I do or say. Why should I be overly cautious around these little humans when it is too early in their lives to matter?” It was not until I watched “Neurorelational Development: Early Brain Development and the Power of Relationships Webinar” given by Dr.
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Easy Tricks to Improve your Relationship with the Child
How often do we hug children or express our love? How to improve relationships with children, to be not just a parent, but also a trusted friend, with whom they feel real closeness? Why relationships are deteriorating When children are very young, up to three years old, they very much feel the emotional state of their mother. If she is tired, irritated, or anxious, the child will be naughty too. Also, at this time, mothers are trying to wean the babies from their hands, and the children do...
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A Solution to the Desperate Need to Belong
As humans, we have a basic, primal need to belong. Belonging is defined as ‘the feeling of security and support when there is a sense of acceptance, inclusion, and identity for a member of a certain group . It is when an individual can bring their authentic self to others, including friendships, family and work.’ Feeling disconnected, unimportant, or not cared about can translate into feelings of loneliness. This has led to much of the suffering our society is experiencing today. Cigna...
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Fatherhood Programs Can Support Fathers’ Healthy Relationships With Children and Coparents [childtrends.org]
By Lisa Kim and Elizabeth Karberg, Child Trends, June 16, 2022 Fathers’ role within families has gradually evolved from traditional family breadwinner to that of more full and equal coparent involved in all aspects of caregiving. Research has shown that positive father-child involvement leads to better outcomes for children and families , and a critical component of improving fathers’ involvement with their children is supporting their coparenting and romantic or intimate relationship s . In...
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Strategies to Support Healthy Relationships for American Indian and Alaska Native Fathers [www.acf.hhs.gov]
Fathers, children, and families alike benefit from fathers having healthy coparenting and romantic relationships. Child Trends’ new brief for the Office of Planning, Research and Evaluation provides fatherhood programs with strategies, policy suggestions, and additional considerations for working with American Indian and Alaska Native (AIAN) fathers. The brief’s authors outline strategies within three distinct areas of program development and implementation that fatherhood programs can use...
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Resources for Supporting Healthy Relationships in Fatherhood Programs [www.acf.hhs.gov]
Fathers’ relationships—especially their relationships with coparents and romantic partners—can affect their own well-being and the quality of their involvement with their children. Using lessons from the Coparenting and Healthy Relationship and Marriage Education for Dads (CHaRMED) study, Child Trends’ new brief for the Office of Planning, Research and Evaluation identifies common barriers that fatherhood programs face when addressing healthy relationships with fathers and provides...
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How to Survive the Holiday with Nonviolent Communication
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What Children Really Need Is Adults That Understand Development
The brain doesn’t fully develop until about the age of 25. This fact is sometimes quite surprising and eye opening to most adults. It can also be somewhat overwhelming for new parents and professionals who are interacting with babies and young children every day, to contemplate. It is essential to realize however, that the greatest time of development occurs in the years prior to kindergarten. And even more critical to understand is that by age three 85 percent of the core structures of the...
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Empathy: Can It Make The Difference?
Emotion has an enormous impact on imprinting memory in our brains. I had an experience when I was 6 years old that included emotion and I have the memory of it all of these many years later. It was a 6 year old birthday sleepover party. There were 7 girls invited that lived near each other and played together most days. A girl new to the neighborhood was invited only due to the requirement of the birthday girl’s mother. I was also invited. I lived a block away but did play with these girls...