Tagged With "Parents Develop Positive Relationships"
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10 ways to avoid ACEs (during the pandemic)
How can we reduce ACEs and toxic stress during the COVID-19 pandemic? Many of us are concerned that increased stress might increase the risk for ACEs. For example, most child abuse happens when adults reach their breaking point. However, we are not powerless in the face of these challenges. HOPE - Healthy Outcomes from Positive Experiences - is a natural fit for ACES Connection, We invite you to join our new Balancing ACES with HOPE community . Let us know how you think HOPE about HOPE and...
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1000 TELLINGS!
I just had to cradle a bundle of books when my publisher showed me the first 1000 copies that arrived from the printer. A thousand copies! At this very moment the most important thing is they exist. Not if or when they’ll be purchased. Not who will get a copy or what they’ll think of it as they read it. What’s happening is I am telling. A thousand times over, I am telling. A lot of people already know that after every rape my father said, “You tell anyone and I’ll kill you.” And I’ve worked...
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14 Ways to Show Your Child Love: Valentine's Day and Every Day [aap.org]
From the American Academy of Pediatrics, February 5, 2020 One of the most important parts of parenting is also the sweetest: showing your child plenty of love and affection. “Building strong bonds and a positive relationship with your child has a nurturing effect on their physical, emotional, and social development,” said Jennifer Shu, MD, FAAP, a spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and medical editor of its parenting website, HealthyChildren.org. “As parents, the...
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2017 Recovery Month
September is Recovery Month. With more than a quarter of those participating in the ACE study detailing addiction in the family, and addiction commonly co-occuring with numerous additional ACEs, it is important to raise the awareness in the general community about the impact of parental addition, and how family recovery can be celebrated during this important month. SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration ) and many agencies, treatment centers and organizations...
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3 Concepts to Help Trauma Survivors Move Forward Into Healthier Relationships
It’s good, healthy and human to want love and seek it out. We live longer, healthier lives when we feel close to someone safe. Some people feel painfully disconnected, and long to open up to others. But then they stop themselves from reaching out. As therapists, we want to empower people to build more meaningful connections. For all of us, healthy relationships matter . In fact, deep relationships are essential to life as a healthy human being. For trauma survivors, the act of deepening...
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3 Signs You Have Emotionally Neglectful Parents [blogs.psychcentral.com]
It would be so much easier if emotionally neglectful parents wore a sign on their heads. And although many, if they are more obvious, like narcissistic, authoritarian or addicted parents, may be far easier to identify..., most emotionally neglectful parents are generally well-meaning. They want to be good parents, but they simply do not know what to do. They do not know that they need to validate their children’s emotions, or how to do it. Here’s the most important point: it does not matter...
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4 Jedi Mind(fulness) Tricks to Help an Anxious Child (themighty.com)
Middle school hurt. Social intimidation, academic challenges and parental pressures all set against the backdrop of swirling hormones and my personal penchant for worry . Around age 12, my anxiety really took flight and started to knock the wind right out of me — literally. The smallest challenges sparked internal firestorms of thoughts that manifested in stomachaches, crying, and often shortness of breath. My parents tried to cleave me from the throes of panic with consistent love and...
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4 New Facts About ACEs Parents Need to Know [yahoo.com]
By Lisa Heffernan, Yahoo Lifestyle, January 24, 2020 Many Americans have at least one adverse childhood experience (ACE) before the age of 17. These ACEs include child neglect and emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, household challenges like substance abuse, mental illness, incarceration, parental separation, or divorce, and witnessing intimate partner violence. A collaboration between the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and Kaiser Permanente San Diego, the original ACE...
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4 years after integrating ACEs science, Pueblo, CO clinic improves services for families; cuts ER costs, doctor stress
Four years ago, Dr. Leslie Dempsey would never have talked about ACEs — adverse childhood experiences — with her patients. Now ACEs is a common topic. “Just as I don’t feel awkward asking someone if they smoke or do intravenous drugs, I don’t really feel awkward talking about their childhood traumas in a way that it relates to their health. It’s just integrated into obtaining background and social history,” she says. Dr. Leslie Dempsey Dempsey is a physician in obstetrics who oversees a team...
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5 Surprising Ways the Father Wound Harms Women [goodmenproject.com]
I’ve been dealing with the father wound for most of my life. When I was five years old my mid-life father became increasingly depressed because he couldn’t make a living supporting me and my mother. He took an overdose of sleeping pills and was committed to Camarillo State Mental Hospital. Many of us grow up without the presence of a loving, engaged, father in our lives. Some of us lose our fathers through illness, others through divorce, death, distance, or dysfunction. Like most losses,...
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5 Tickets to See Wrestling Ghosts, a New Documentary About Breaking the Cycle of Trauma!
Hi ACEs Parenting Community! Wrestling Ghosts , a new documentary about breaking the cycle of trauma, will be premiering at LA Film Festival on September 27th. The Wrestling Ghosts team wants to give away 5 tickets to the ACEs parenting community. We want the film to promote wellness in the ACEs community, and get watched by folks who would really love it. Tickets are first come, first serve; if you'd like to purchase one after the giveaway, try to get them this week; earlybird tickets are...
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7 Ways to Help a Child Deal with Traumatic Stress
Traumatic stress feels awful. Thankfully, there are small things we can all do to help relax a hyperaroused nervous system.
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75 Calm Down Strategies for Kids
I came across this webpage and wanted to share with my parent and caregiver small groups. My intern typed it up into a handout. Feel free to share.
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9 Signs You Need Better Self-Care and May Be a Trauma Survivor
Self-care is the sum of things you do for your emotional and physical wellbeing. Getting enough sleep, brushing your teeth, and eating well are classic examples of good physical self-care. How to take good care of yourself emotionally may be harder to see from the outside. Your ability to view your inner world with compassion and curiosity is one sign. Noticing your emotions and thoughts with gentle awareness is another inward sign of emotional self-care. Knowing how to find and turn to...
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A Few Quotes I Love from The Silenced Child by Claudia M. Gold, MD
This book is so good. I am loving reading it and I have already underlined so many parts that I can't wait to read the whole thing to write a book review. I'm going to start sharing some quotes. First, what I love most is the warm and non-clinical tone. It sounds like it is written by a human being and that's appealing. The author writes about parents (and is one) with kindness and care and as a human being. O.k., at only 50 pages in, here are some of the gems so far : "Listening to parents...
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A Lament That Remains (www.psychologytoday.com)
While this article by Kristin Meekhof is geared towards children grieving the loss of a parent who had died, it has a lot of insightful ACE-related advice for parenting with ACEs This leads to the next point- death is very painful. However, resilient people aren't pain free, but they know how to handle it. You can expect there will be painful moments, such as holidays, the deceased parent's birthday, a school graduation. And pretending that pain will not exist during these or other occasions...
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A Sherpa Helping Us Scale Mountains of Loss & Fear: The Impact of Sebern Fisher's Work
“You can recover from all that happened to you.” That was the dose of hope I received from Sebern Fisher during a short telephone interview. She is the author of Neurofeedback in the Treatment of Developmental Trauma: Calming the Fear-Driven Brain. Her book is excellent even if you never plan on using neurofeedback. She helps explain why and how developmental trauma devastates and how it is different than single-incident trauma or traditional post-traumatic stress. Honestly – if you read her...
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Effects of Preterm Birth
A baby born prematurely often spends that crucial time for attachment and development of neural pathways in the NICU
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Empowering Kids In An Anxious World [NPR.org]
Rates of anxiety and depression among teens in the U.S. have been rising for years. According to one study , nearly one in three adolescents (ages 13-18) now meets the criteria for an anxiety disorder, and in the latest results from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's Youth Risk Behavior Survey, 32 percent of teens reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness. And there's more bad news, grown-ups: The authors of two new parenting books believe you're part of the...
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Environmental adversities and psychotic symptoms: The impact of timing of trauma, abuse, and neglect [schres-journal.com]
Background Trauma and adverse childhood experiences (ACE) occur more often in mental illness, including psychosis, than in the general population. Individuals with psychosis (cases) report a higher number and severity (dose) of adversities than healthy controls. While a dose-dependent increase of adversities has been related to more severe psychopathology, the role of type and timing is still insufficiently understood on the exacerbation of positive and negative psychotic symptoms. Moreover,...
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Every Woman Was Once a Girl: Why We Need to Talk About the Unique Biological Effects of #ToxicChildhoodStress and #FemaleAdversity on Women’s Bodies and Brains
This is Part Two of my Female Adversity: The Female Body and Brain on Toxic Stress series. (CRUCIAL NOTE HERE BEFORE YOU READ: Boys’ immune systems become dysregulated in response to #toxicstress too, and that leads to disease and changes to the brain that we also need to talk about more openly AND compassionately. Today I’m focusing on girls’ unique immune response to #toxicstress.) So, exactly what happens in a girl’s body, in response to #toxicstress, that leads girls to be more likely to...
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EveryDay Strong: Teaching kids about family history helps increase resilience [heraldextra.com]
Resilience, or the ability to overcome challenges in life, is a trait many parents hope their children will develop. Resilient children are more likely to have good emotional and mental health. Research has shown that children who know more about their families and family history are more resilient and tend to do better when facing challenges in life. This may be because seeing patterns of overcoming failures and surviving hard times can help children recognize that people can recover and...
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Exposure to Household Pet Cats and Dogs in Childhood and Risk of Subsequent Diagnosis of Schizophrenia and Bipolar Disorder [journals.plos.org]
By Robert Yolken, Cassie Stallings, Andrea Origoni, et al., Plos One, December 2, 2019 Abstract Background Serious psychiatric disorders such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder have been associated with environmental exposures in early life. Contact with household pets such as cats and dogs can serve as a source of environmental exposure during these time periods. Methods We investigated the relationship between exposure to a household pet cat or dog during the first 12 years of life and...
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Family Anxiety Challenge - Changing the Neural Pathways In Our Brains
I am a therapist who has to make an effort each day to manage my anxiety and negative emotions. Therapists are not usually open about their mental health in our culture; we are looked to as the expert and someone who has it "all together." But I became a therapist for two reasons, to help understand my brain, and to use what I learned to help others. I find that being transparent about my mental health inspires others to share their truths. Human beings are a work in progress. We know this...
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Family Media Plan helps parents set boundaries for kids [AAPPublications.org]
It can be overwhelming for parents to manage all of the media options available to children and adolescents around the clock and sort out the pros and cons of screen time. While media use can help build kids’ social skills, it also can put them at risk of obesity, lost sleep, bullying, addiction and violence, according to new guidance from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). To help families navigate the digital world, the AAP has developed a Family Media Plan. Parents and children can...
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Father's Day for the Rest of Us
How do you manage Father's Day as an adult? How did everyone do on Father's Day? It's one of those holidays that can be so complicated for many of us. Maybe there's angst, anger or ambivalence? Maybe there's appreciation too. I wrote about how it has shifted for me since I found that my father died. I didn't expect to feel so much relief. I love having a dead dad. For the first time in my life I know where he is on Father’s Day. He is not homeless, alcoholic, absent or violent. He is no...
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Fathers, Sons, and Intimacy: A Story of Moving Past Childhood Adversity
Seth’s natural impulse was to shy away from showing affection to his girlfriend. That made perfect sense to me since he grew up with a father who rarely showed affection to anyone in the family. Seth’s grandfather was an alcoholic who punished his children harshly. Seth understood his father received very little love and tenderness and probably never received any physical comfort like a hug or pat on the back. The lack of intimacy between father and son extended back through the generations.
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#Female Adversity: Growing Up With Female Adversity: The Female Body and Brain on Toxic Stress Series
One thing readers know about the work I do and the books I write, including Childhood Disrupted , The Autoimmune Epidemic , and The Last Best Cure , is that I focus on the intersection of neuroscience, immunology and emotion – while shining a spotlight on WOMEN’s experiences. Connecting these dots is always an underlying theme in my work. Women, girls, toxic stress, the female brain and immune system, autoimmune disease and chronic physical and mental illness — if you care about any of...
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Five Strategies for Engaging Family Partners [nichq.org]
Families have an unmatched impact on their child’s health, especially during the early years of life when children’s rapidly developing brains are laying the groundwork for their future health and wellbeing. To be the best advocates for their children, families need the right supports, whether they be access to public assistance programs like Medicaid and housing, opportunities to build a strong relationship with their child’s health provider, or resources that empower them to support their...
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For Kids, Regular Exercise Seems to Put Depression on the Run [Consumer.Healthday.com]
For generations, parents have told kids to go outside and play. Now, a new study suggests an added benefit to that advice -- physical activity may lower children's risk of depression. The researchers assessed about 700 children at ages 6, 8 and 10. Kids who got regular moderate-to-vigorous exercise were less likely to develop depression over those four years, the investigators found. Previous studies have found that physically active teens and adults seem to have a lower risk of depression.
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For low-income children, relationship with parent key to health (scienceblog.com)
Educators, health care providers and researchers have known for some time that low socioeconomic status is connected to poor health, including in children, but a new study led by a San Francisco State University psychologist has shed light on what can be done to protect young people from negative outcomes. The keys? A more positive parent-child relationship as well as the child’s own ability to manage his or her response to stressful situations, according to research published last month in...
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France's Early Learning / Positive Parenting Train set to launch tomorrow
"I'm not sure I like that metaphor!" Nathalie exclaimed. "I don't want to be burned at the stake!" I had just compared Nathalie to Joan of Arc, the symbol - for me - of the person willing to trust their inspired vision "against all odds," the person not fazed by the prospect of being considered crazy if it can just help to advance awareness of a new reality about which the general population is only dimly aware. Nathalie Casso-Vicarini is the creative genius behind France's Early...
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Free Mind Matters Online Series -- Build skills to overcome anxiety and increase resilience
In appreciation of and support for the tremendous work you are doing under challenging circumstances, Dibble will be hosting a free, 12-week Mind Matters online series with Dr. Carolyn Curtis and Dixie Zittlow. Unprecedented times, such as these, are stressful and call for everyone to think about ways to help others and themselves. Thus, we see this as an opportunity to offer free, professional development and help you and your staff practice self-care. Join us as we teach the Mind Matters...
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Free play is great for kids. Now pediatricians say so (sacbee.com)
The award for best line ever in a medical report: “Play is not frivolous.” It’s not new, the idea that free play helps children develop in remarkable ways. Multiple studies have found that play builds social skills and creativity and develops the ability to solve problems and to collaborate. What is new is that a clinical report published in August by the American Academy of Pediatrics specifically calls on pediatricians and family doctors to start taking play, well, seriously – in fact to...
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FREE WEBINAR 3/28/19: The Power of Play: Theraplay's Approach to Trauma-Informed Intervention
Join the Illinois ACEs Response Collaborative and Andrea Bushala from the Theraplay Institute for a free webinar as she discusses the role of everyday play in preventing and responding to trauma. Andrea will highlight how the Theraplay Institute has utilized coaching parents, educators, and clinicians in the simple games of childhood to forge connections and resilience building in the children they support. Theraplay is a child and family therapy for building and enhancing attachment,...
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FREE WEBINAR: Rules Without Relationships Lead to Rebellion: A Live Parent Interview
You can have all the limits and rules in the word, but without nurturance or relationship your child will rebel to your face or behind your back. And during the COVID-19 crisis, this risk increases as our stress level skyrockets. As a result, we tend to go strong on lecturing and limits. And our nurturance with our child or teenager can get put on hold or not attended to as needed. In this live interview with Sarah, a single parent mom, I discuss concrete and practical tools to parent with...
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Gathering in Topeka, Kansas for the Educators’ Art of Facilitation Chapter III
I never believed that a man who abuses anyone physically, emotionally or verbally is simply a monster.That's too simple.There is a reason why men do what they do, and don't do and in order to help men and women to not be hurtful to themselves or others we must as I said in my last post ”help them heal.” We must advocate for a world in which we don't punish, we transform. I have always believed this on many issues, from domestic violence to drug addiction to other acts of criminality. We...
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Gathering in Topeka, Kansas for the Educators’ Art of Facilitation continued
We can not solve problems from a distance from ourselves or from each other. The way we muster the courage to heal is to walk the journey together. Any effort to create policy change, structural change, or even programatic change will not succeed unless there is an explicit healing perspective. It begins with a deep understanding that we all come hurt and that those hurts often mean that in striving to relieve our own pain we hurt each other. “Hurt people, hurt people.” It is simplicity on...
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Going beyond asking what happened: building beloved community
“Our goal is to create a beloved community and this will require a qualitative change in our souls as well as a quantitative change in our lives.”- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. “beloved community is formed not by the eradication of difference but by its affirmation, by each of us claiming the identities and cultural legacies that shape who we are and how we live in the world.” –bell hooks One of the most notable descriptors of trauma-informed care is shifting the question of what is wrong...
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Good Parenting vs. Bad Neighborhood
Hello my name is Julius Patterson. I am currently a intern at Hopeworks N' Camden. I am twenty three years old and i am also a student at Camden County College. I found this article very intriguing because of past situations that i have encountered and i feel like i can relate on a personal level. Growing Up In Disadvantaged Areas May Affect teens Brains, But Good Parenting May Help By: Sarah Whittle, Julian G.Simmons, Nick Allen Summary & Analysis by: Julius Patterson Growing up in...
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Great Basic Parenting Tips & Why I Have Such a Hard Time Sharing Them
At least once a week I struggle about what to share here. This is my most recent example. It's a series of tips on the U.S. Department of Education . These are great hand-outs with comprehensive information about child development that's not too long, abstract or hard to read. Here's the list (also attached below). I especially like the flyer for talking about feelings which has the tag line "Talking is teaching." And the short summary of milestones at different ages and stages from birth to...
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Great parenting resource for Strengthening Families 5 Protective Factors
Here is a great website from the Five for Families public awareness campaign that explains the Strengthening Families 5 Protective Factors to parents. It has parent-friendly language, videos, questions to consider, and parenting ideas. https://fiveforfamilies.org/
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Great Resource for Educators and Parents - New Online training from CDC
CDC has launched a new free online training to prevent adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). It includes information about the risk and protective factors and outcomes associated with ACEs and evidence-based prevention strategies. Module 1 is an ACEs overview. Module 2 is a public health approach to preventing ACEs. Additional modules for specific professions such as mental health providers and medical providers are coming soon. No cost CEs are available. ...
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Growing Up in Today's World is NOT Easy: One Student's Story
Growing up in today's world is NOT easy. I have heard hundreds of students tell me this. Despite this fact, many of them have also told me that many of the adults in their lives don't seem to understand this, including parents, teachers, and society. Adults who are disconnected from the reality of the lives of the youth that they are around will not be able to completely understand how to provide the support that might be needed for those youth needing it most. I recently met a young woman...
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Growth through Trauma-Informed Strategies: Coaching and Consultation with Rick Griffin
There is a Chinese proverb that states, “If you want 1 year of prosperity, grow grain. If you want 10 years of prosperity, grow trees. If you want 100 years of prosperity, grow people." The benefits are evident, yet the real question becomes, “how do you grow people?” This Big Idea Session, CRI’s Trauma Coaching and Trauma Consultation Training, answers this question. Schools, organizations, and parents are discovering that the traditional “command and control” style of working with...
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Guilt vs. Shame (www.nicabm.com)
There's a blog post by Ruth Buczynski, PhD on the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine website that links to a great infographic explaining the difference between guilt and shame. It's worth checking out. What I found most helpful though is something I've never really heard of or understood - irrational guilt. Irrational guilt is defined as "a feeling of psychological discomfort about something we've done against our irrationally high standards." Who knew? I...
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Handling Your Child’s Challenging Behaviors at Every Age: New Parenting Guide from Yolo Child Abuse Prevention Council/Yolo County Children's Alliance
The Yolo County Child Abuse Prevention Council (CAPC) and Yolo County Children’s Alliance (YCCA) are excited to share our new parenting guide: Handling Your Child’s Challenging Behaviors at Every Age. This resource for parents and caregivers provides positive discipline tips and resources to handle challenging behaviors in babies, toddlers, preschoolers, school-age children, and teenagers. Each age group page has: tips on how parents can connect with their child, some common challenging...
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Healing Developmental Trauma
Last week I posted an article about the Harvard study on happiness, which found that strong social connections are the primary driver of happiness. No surprise there. What struck me, however, is how these findings relate to ACEs. I had just finished reading Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship , which addresses this very issue. From the back cover: “Although it may seem that people suffer from an endless number...
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Healing From Childhood Trauma — AVAIYA University online course, July 29 - Aug. 6
AVAIYA University is hosting a free online class, Healing From Childhood Trauma, July 29 - August 6, that features 18 physicians, therapists, psychologists & more who share life-changing strategies to heal from childhood trauma. Featured in the course are Dr. Dan Siegel on "Trauma & Mindfulness", Dr. Jamie Marich on "Healing the Wounds of Childhood Trauma", and Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott on "U nderstanding Unresolved Attachment to Heal From Loss & Trauma." I'm doing a session on...
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Healing in place: Game on to flip the COVID19 threat into a positive experience for our children
As I was considering the children sheltering-in-place this morning and reflecting on lessons from my own childhood, I wondered: Can we heal-in-place too? I was born after the 1962 Cuban missile crisis, another collective trauma affecting everyone. Yet, it was nevertheless passed on to me by the adults in my life in the form of constant reminders that the U.S. could be blown into bits any second. When I started school, there were constant “hide under the chair” earthquake drills I took to be...