Tagged With "sexual assault"
Blog Post
13 Reasons Why & Talking Points for Families (www.sscps.org - Counseling Department)
The South Shore Charter Pubic School (in MA) emailed a letter to families last week prior to the airing of season two of the Netflix series "!3 Reasons Why." They also shared some questions and talking points I found helpful . I know people have mixed feelings about how the show depicts teens, adults, depression, trauma, sexual assault, and death by suicide. For those that are watching and discussing the series and these issues, it seems like a great time to talk about childhood adversity...
Blog Post
A Daughter's Letter to Her Alcoholic Father - I Love You and I Hate You
"Why don’t you love me? Why don’t you care enough to care?," writes the high school girl who wrote a letter to her alcoholic father but never mailed it. She asked me to share it on my blogs, instead. It’s the rawness of her hurt, so many years into her life, that drew me to share her letter. Helping children and adults understand the secondhand drinking (SHD) impacts a child experiences when growing up with a parent’s alcoholism* is essential to helping a child (or an adult child) heal from...
Blog Post
Five Things to Know about Military Families with Linda Sanford
Note: I adore Linda Sanford. She is also the author of one of my favorite books, Strong at the Broken Places: Overcoming the Trauma of Child Abuse which came out in 1991. So when I heard she was speaking at a local event hosted by The Riverside Trauma Center, about military families I had to go. I had not considered the stress faced by military families, many of who are also parenting with ACEs, as well. “There are five things I want you to know about military families,” said Linda Sanford.
Blog Post
Going beyond asking what happened: building beloved community
“Our goal is to create a beloved community and this will require a qualitative change in our souls as well as a quantitative change in our lives.”- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. “beloved community is formed not by the eradication of difference but by its affirmation, by each of us claiming the identities and cultural legacies that shape who we are and how we live in the world.” –bell hooks One of the most notable descriptors of trauma-informed care is shifting the question of what is wrong...
Blog Post
How It Feels & How We Heal: Parenting with ACEs Chat Quotes (You Tube, Database, PDFs, Links)
Parenting with ACEs is sharing inspiration, information, and expertise from our chat series in 3 formats. Parenting with ACEs: How It Feels & How We Heal Quote Collection (pdf version below as well) Quotes Database (pdf version below as well) Links to Chat Transcripts and before and after-the-chat blog posts. Thanks to everyone who showed up, who shared, and who is doing the important work that is our mission (prevent ACEs, heal trauma, build resilience). We know that work happens...
Blog Post
The Trauma of Having a Newborn in the NICU [theatlantic.com]
When Kelli Kelley awoke from her C-section 17 years ago, having delivered her son after just 24 weeks of pregnancy, her husband gave her a Polaroid of their baby. He was tiny, underdeveloped, eyes still fused shut, with translucent skin covered in fine hair, and lying in a sea of medical equipment and lines. To Kelley, he looked like a baby bird. Cut to her first visit to the neonatal intensive-care unit ( nicu ) to meet him: a cacophony of beeping machines, harsh lighting,...
Blog Post
Toolkit on Domestic Violence and ACEs Now Available
This blog post is to share our toolkit, "A Resilience Framework for Domestic Violence and Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)." The toolkit is a PowerPoint that can be downloaded here and is free to share. This project started nearly 24 months ago with support from the Arctic Fulbright Initiative to examine the intersections between domestic violence and ACEs and create an open access resource. A statewide survey in Alaska and focus groups in Finland provided recommendations on information...
Blog Post
TOOLKIT UPDATE
Our Toolkit, called "Hard Times and Healing: Addressing the Intersections Between Domestic Violence and Other Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)" was launched at a statewide training with domestic violence advocates in Alaska at the end of February. In collaboration with the Washington State Domestic Violence Coalition and several tribes in Washington, the Toolkit will be shared through a series of training events in May, 2017. The concept of creating a toolkit on ACEs for domestic...
Blog Post
Tracing One’s Family ACEs Tree to Break the Familial Cycles of Alcohol Misuse
My marrying an alcoholic never made sense to me. My mother developing the disease of alcoholism never made sense to me, either. And why my loved ones couldn’t get it together to stop or wrest control of their drinking was equally confusing. Yet I churned around and in and through this muck for almost four decades before my world was split wide open. It was 2003 and one of my loved ones entered a residential treatment program for alcoholism. I remember experiencing a giddy – “I knew it, I...
Blog Post
Trauma in the Classroom: How Educators Should Approach it and What Parents and Students Should Expect From Schools [newsstand.clemson.edu]
By Michael Staton, Clemson University College of Education, November 18, 2019 When students arrive at school, they don’t check their trauma at the door or ignore it. Considering the effect trauma can have on student learning, teachers can’t choose to ignore it, either. Trauma leads to learning problems, lower grades, suspensions, expulsions and even long-term health problems. Teachers are increasingly expected to identify and work with issues students bring to school, and based on related...
Blog Post
Weinstein Accuser Criticizes Defense Lawyer for ‘Disgusting Way’ of Treating Sexual Assault Survivors (www.lawandcrime.com)
Cissy's note: Another great interview with @Louise Godbold keeping the conversation centered on survivors, the ACEs study, healing, and change. She talks about how "trauma begets trauma.," in a way that gives a wider context and remains hopeful. I'm so grateful for Louise and her tireless work and insights, even when it means making herself vulnerable and allowing us to get beyond headlines to understand, at every step the experiences of survivors who come forward as well as organizations...
Blog Post
Weinstein Accuser Criticizes Defense Lawyer for ‘Disgusting Way’ of Treating Sexual Assault Survivors (www.lawandcrime.com)
Cissy's note: Another great interview with @Louise Godbold keeping the conversation centered on survivors, the ACEs study, healing, and change. She talks about how "trauma begets trauma.," in a way that gives a wider context and remains hopeful. I'm so grateful for Louise and her tireless work and insights, even when it means making herself vulnerable and allowing us to get beyond headlines to understand, at every step the experiences of survivors who come forward as well as organizations...
Blog Post
What If I Told You?
What if I told you that I was a victim of child sex abuse? As a survivor of child sexual abuse , I have a clear understanding of the importance of addressing stigma and shame as it pertains to sexual abuse, sexual assault and rape. Victims, especially young children, often do not disclose sexual abuse. Those who are witnesses of child sexual abuse, or who are trusted by survivors enough that they confide in them, are often ill-equipped to handle the responsibility. And, many times, parents...
Blog Post
What to Do When She Says #MeToo [psychologytoday.com]
Most parents want their children to confide in them about their problems. Unfortunately, if you have a daughter, there is a real possibility that one such problem may be that of sexual harassment or violence. A study from Harvard University found 87% of girls have experienced sexual harassment and the CDC reports nearly one in three women have experienced some form of sexual violence victimization. Being a victim of sexual violence or harassment is one of the biggest problems that a teenager...
Blog Post
When Is It Sex, and When Is It Sexual Abuse or Assault?
By understanding the difference between sex and sexual abuse, trauma survivors can understand that unwanted touching they experienced in the past was not sex. Sex is always consensual in a way that feels safe and pleasurable. Abuse occurs without your consent, and is never your fault.
Blog Post
Simple Solutions to Real Barriers
My name is Rebekah Couch and I am a former teen mother of five children, the youngest child being my only clean and sober pregnancy allowed to remain in my care. I am a survivor of multiple sexual assaults and was afflicted with untreated mental health issues as an adolescent. My destructive journey began with self-medicating and illegal activities in junior high and a daily cocaine addiction by the age of 15 that eventually advanced to methamphetamine abuse. My addiction and criminal...
Blog Post
Surviving Spirit Newsletter July 2019
Hi Folks, The latest edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via Contact Us, Thanks! Michael. Newsletter Contents : 1] The Courage of Parenting When You Have A History of Trauma(c) by Gretchen Schmelzer 2] The House Committee on Oversight and Reform held a hearing entitled, “Identifying, Preventing, and Treating...
Blog Post
The Body Remembers
She had a poster of Where’s Waldo? on the wall, presumably there to distract her patients from what was happening while they lay on the exam table. This was my third appointment, and on the drive over I had fought down rising waves of panic at walking back in to this room, with Waldo and her gloved fingers. When my physiotherapist had first recommended this treatment after months of physio exercises had failed to produce the desired results, I went home and cried. I called Dawn and told her...
Blog Post
The Boy Born Out of Resilience
A few months ago I published a blog, " A Mother's Rage". I re-accounted my rage and helplessness regarding my daughter's high school rape in Miami, FL. I ended my post with words of hope. I wrote how several years had passed since my daughter's assault. She was now engaged and pregnant with my first grandchild. This is the rest of the story. I held my daughter's hand as she labored through the night with my grandson. I tried to comfort her fiancee who felt helpless. I rubbed her back,...
Blog Post
Report: Solutions To Stop Sexual Violence Against Children [npr.org]
By Susan Brink, NPR.org, November 19, 2019 Sexual violence against children happens everywhere: in wealthy enclaves, in slums, in suburbs, in rural villages. Invariably, it happens in secret: in the privacy of family homes, in dark corners of schools and churches, and in murky shadows at neighborhood, community, sporting and scouting events. It happens often, and periodically groups put out reports to call attention to the issue. "That's usually where the story stops," says Daniela Ligiero,...
Blog Post
Research Finds Adolescent Boys Want Mental Health Care Following Treatment for Violent Injury
In a study released today in the Journal of Adolescent Health , researchers at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP) found that young men of color treated for violent injury in CHOP's Emergency Department overwhelmingly identified a need for mental health care. At intake and during the course of their case management through CHOP VIP, youth identified their needs and goals for recovery beyond the treatment of their physical injuries. Click on the links below to see how these data help...
Blog Post
RYSE Center's Listening Campaign: Young people in Richmond, CA help adults understand trauma, violence, coping, and healing
"My experience with violence is very brutal...I grew up with violence as if it were my sibling." - LC participant (youth) "We know we can't run the city- it's too complex- but our experience and our voices should count, especially because we're the most effected ." - LC participant (youth) "Our city's problems are shared by us all; we are all part of the problem AND the solution. Listening is a key component to healing." - LC Share Out partici pant (adult) Three years ago, RYSE Center in...
Blog Post
SAMHSA's Concept of Trauma and Guidance for a Trauma-Informed Approach
Years in the making, this important piece of the trauma-informed pie is on the table! Check it out.
Blog Post
Lawsuit Reveals Child Welfare’s Assault on Battered Mothers, Their Children (www.youthtoday.org)
Note: There are many wonderful social workers and child welfare organizations. And there are also too many stories like this one. It's part of the reason parents don't always ask for help or how the help available is not always helpful and sometimes harmful. Here's an excerpt from a piece written by Richard Wexler which appeared in Youth Today . Excerpt: As the decision explains, the lead plaintiff in that case, Sharwline Nicholson was beaten mercilessly by a boyfriend when she decided to...
Blog Post
Maternity Group Home Program Funding Opportunity. Applications Due 07/25/2019 [Admin for Children & Families]
Funding Opportunity Application Due Date: 07/25/2019 Maternity Group Home Program *See attached pdf for more info. Description: The Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families' Family and Youth Services Bureau (FYSB) announces the availability of funds under the Transitional Living Program’s Maternity Group Home (MGH) grant program. The purpose to provide safe, stable, and appropriate shelter only for pregnant and/or parenting youth ages 16 to...
Blog Post
Mental Health, Social Adversity, and Health-Related Outcomes in Sexual Minority Adolescents: A Contemporary National Cohort Study [thelancet.com]
By Background Sexual minority adolescents are more likely to have mental health problems, adverse social environments, and negative health outcomes compared with their heterosexual counterparts. There is a paucity of up-to-date population-level estimates of the extent of risk across these domains in the UK. We analysed outcomes across mental health, social environment, and health-related domains in sexual minority adolescents compared with their heterosexual counterparts in a large,...
Blog Post
The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
Blog Post
The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
Blog Post
The Legacy of Untreated Secondhand Drinking-Related ACEs
I am the child of an alcoholic. My mom didn’t stop drinking until age 79. She died at 84. There was no warning, no lingering illness. She died two days after an unsuccessful emergency surgery. But we had five years during which she did not drink, after forty-five years during which she did. You see, my mom knew she had a drinking problem. So did we, the rest of her family. There were times when she fought mightily to stop or control it. There were times when the rest of us fought mightily to...
Blog Post
The Link Between Childhood Trauma and Sexual Abuse in Adulthood
Please check out our latest Healing Our Ghosts' podcast with ECHO's executive director and #metoo Harvey Weinstein's silence breaker Louise Godbold. Healing Our Ghosts shines light into the suffering we keep hidden. We are not alone in our struggles and when we share our pain, we lift the shame secrecy that keeps us alone and disconnected from each other and prevents us from healing. With humor and compassion, Ana Joanes interviews a wide variety of guests about their messy lives, how they...
Blog Post
The Surviving Spirit Newsletter December 2019
Hi Folks, The latest edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2019-12-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_December_2019.pdf To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via Contact Us, Thanks! Michael. Contents List: 1] A neuroscientist's advice for combating stress this holiday season by Dr. Patrick K. Porter 2] Peer...
Blog Post
'I am not okay': The remarkable response to the Charlie Rose allegations, from his CBS colleagues
This afternoon, Charlie Rose was fired from PBS and CBS. This morning, G ayle King and Norah O'Donnell, who anchor with Charlie Rose, reported on this national story. Here's an excerpt from an article by J. Freedom du Lac , Amy B Wang and Marwa Eltagouri which discusses this video clip. I'm okay and not okay. How are you? Are you talking about this with your kids, friends, partner, co-workers? I've been asked how I'm handling all the news reports of sexual harassment, assault and abuse being...
Blog Post
In Oregon, Police Departments Are Changing Sexual Assault Reporting (www.wbur.org) & Commentary & Questions for YOU
"There is a series of 20 elements to the program. There may be a victim that steps forward that wants two or three of us those. We don't put what we believe someone needs on the person who was victimized. We let them tell us what they need and that's a real shift from the traditional law enforcement response which can be pretty assumptive of what someone needs or wants or should want if they've been victimized." Detective, Carrie Hall on WBUR's Here and Now program today speaking about the...
Blog Post
Is Sexism an ACE?
Many of us have experienced sexual assault and/or abuse. The idea that our children could experience the same is terrifying to the point of being paralyzing. Even if our daughters have an ACE score of 0 they will not escape sexism. The upside of so much media coverage about sexual assault, harassment and sexism is that it gives us the opportunity to talk to our kids with a tiny bit of distance. What I mean, is that we can have conversations that are more topical and general, because we are...
Blog Post
It's never too early to talk to your kids about sexual assault. Here's how. (upworthy.com)
Sarah Shanley Hope's story is frighteningly common. As a kid, she went over to her neighbor's house one day to play with her best friend. While there, her friend's older brother sexually assaulted both of them. Hope was only 6 years old. Being so young, she didn't know how to verbalize what happened or how to process it. She carried the pain with her for years, until she had daughters of her own. She told her own girls from the beginning, "You're in charge of your body." But at times, the...
Blog Post
New website for CSA survivors to identify abusers anonymously
Vertigo Charitable Foundation (VCF) is excited to announce the launching of a new website, Me2csa.com , for adult survivors of child sex abuse to anonymously identify their abusers online. We have attached a Press Release, which provides more information about the new site. Please forward this information to any groups, organizations, and individuals that would have an interest in accessing the site. We strongly believe that there is strength in numbers. Although identifications will be...
Blog Post
Parenting Matters: Supporting Parents of Children Ages 0-8 (The National Academies Press 2016)
A study published by The National Academies of Sciences in 2016 resulting in 10 Recommendations to build support for parents... "Over the past several decades, researchers have identified parenting- related knowledge, attitudes, and practices that are associated with improved developmental outcomes for children and around which parenting- related programs, policies, and messaging initiatives can be designed. However, consensus is lacking on the elements of parenting that are most important...
Blog Post
Population-Based Analysis of Temporal Trends in the Prevalence of Depressed Mood Among Sexual Minority and Heterosexual Youths From 1999 Through 2017 [jamanetwork.com]
By Alexandra H. Bettis, Richard T. Liu, Jama Pediatrics, October 21, 2019 Depression in adolescence is highly prevalent and associated with negative long-term outcomes.1 Despite decades of research on treatment for adolescent depression, sexual minority youths remain a particularly at-risk group.2 Temporal trends inform progress in addressing the need to eliminate health disparities among sexual minority populations.3 To our knowledge, this study presents the first population-representative...
Blog Post
A workshop for professionals who have survived sexual abuse or assault.
“Survivor Voices: Honoring our Whole Selves in the Field of Healing and Justice” That’s the title of the workshop my colleague and sister survivor, Dr. Emily Samuelson, and I offered at the Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence Conference on May 6, 2019. Our workshop is a unique and supportive environment for survivors of sexual assault and abuse who are working in the field of advocacy and service to survivors. In some cases it’s the first time they’re sitting in a circle comprised...
Blog Post
ACEs Connection's Inclusion Tool makes sure nobody's left out
We developed ACEs Connection's Diversity, Equity & Inclusion Tool — called the Inclusion Tool, for short — to ensure that ACEs initiatives across the world focus on being inclusive when forming a steering committee, recruiting leaders, providing education about ACEs science, recruiting members, or providing resources and services within their communities. The more inclusive your ACEs initiative is, the more diverse it will be, giving your initiative a real shot at achieving equity and...
Blog Post
Childbirth Can be Another Source of Trauma for Women Who Were Abused [irishtimes.com]
By Arlene Harris, The Irish Times, February 7, 2020 While it may be an innate and mainly joyful event, many pregnant women feel anxious at the thought of going through labour and can suffer emotional and physical distress during the delivery itself. And there is one group of women for whom there is an extra level of trauma associated with the arrival of their unborn child – those who have been victims of sexual assault. Hazel Larkin is a sexual abuse survivor and over the coming months will...
Blog Post
Children of Addiction Awareness Week - Bringing ACEs Into Conversations and Celebrations
Children of Addiction (COA) Awareness Week is an annual celebration near and dear to my heart for many reasons, not the least of which are my personal experiences as a child of an alcoholic and as a child with four ACEs - three of which were the result of secondhand drinking (explained below). COA Week is an annual event celebrated during the week of Valentine’s Day - this year it's February 11 - 17. It is sponsored by the National Association for Children of Addiction, NACoA.org . NACoA’s...
Blog Post
Dissociation: Understanding the Impact of Relational Trauma (www.welldoing.org)
I always find the best stuff via the Attachment & Trauma Network (ATN). This is an example. If you’ve ever driven to a familiar place and arrived not remembering how you got there, you could be said to ‘dissociate’ from time to time – that is, to disconnect your conscious mind from your bodily experience. Dissociation is an adaptive, automatic and universal mechanism of the mind that shapes our conscious sense of self. Contemporary thinkers see each of us as a collection of ‘self-states’...
Blog Post
Meet The Black Ballerina and Entrepreneur Helping People Heal From Their Trauma [blackenterprise.com]
By Lydia Blanco, Black Enterprise, May 15, 2020 Tyde-Courtney Edwards, founding director of Ballet After Dark , is a classically trained black ballerina , art model, and survivor of sexual assault who is on a mission to help others heal from their trauma through the art of ballet. Now, during the pandemic, she is helping people unwind and reset their focus on healing virtually as her studio is closed. Edwards began her journey at the Baltimore School for the Arts and has over 20 years of...
Blog Post
Forsyth County Trauma Informed Care Network
The Forsyth County Trauma Informed Network is taking great strides into recognizing and addressing community post Covid-19 impacts. PowerPoint attached.
Blog Post
This wasn't the first time
Going out to buy groceries, going out for a walk, driving your kid back home from school. For most people these activities are normal, everyday things with little to no excitement, as they should be. Unfortunately, getting food, exercising, and supporting my son’s education have been a little more out of the ordinary for me. You see, I am a Mexican Indigenous man, brown skin, shaved head. My ethnicity and physical appearance are by no means unusual, especially in the part of the country...