Tagged With "abusive partners"
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2019 Prevention Resource Guide from Children's Bureau
The 2019 Prevention Resource Guide is designed to help individuals and organizations in every community strengthen families and prevent child abuse and neglect. This year's theme, "Strong and Thriving Families," aligns with the 21st National Conference on Child Abuse and Neglect. The Resource Guide focuses on protective factors that build on family strengths to foster healthy child and youth development. It can be used along with the Protective Factors in Practice scenarios and the activity...
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4 New Facts About ACEs Parents Need to Know [yahoo.com]
By Lisa Heffernan, Yahoo Lifestyle, January 24, 2020 Many Americans have at least one adverse childhood experience (ACE) before the age of 17. These ACEs include child neglect and emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, household challenges like substance abuse, mental illness, incarceration, parental separation, or divorce, and witnessing intimate partner violence. A collaboration between the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and Kaiser Permanente San Diego, the original ACE...
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4 years after integrating ACEs science, Pueblo, CO clinic improves services for families; cuts ER costs, doctor stress
Four years ago, Dr. Leslie Dempsey would never have talked about ACEs — adverse childhood experiences — with her patients. Now ACEs is a common topic. “Just as I don’t feel awkward asking someone if they smoke or do intravenous drugs, I don’t really feel awkward talking about their childhood traumas in a way that it relates to their health. It’s just integrated into obtaining background and social history,” she says. Dr. Leslie Dempsey Dempsey is a physician in obstetrics who oversees a team...
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9 Signs You Need Better Self-Care and May Be a Trauma Survivor
Self-care is the sum of things you do for your emotional and physical wellbeing. Getting enough sleep, brushing your teeth, and eating well are classic examples of good physical self-care. How to take good care of yourself emotionally may be harder to see from the outside. Your ability to view your inner world with compassion and curiosity is one sign. Noticing your emotions and thoughts with gentle awareness is another inward sign of emotional self-care. Knowing how to find and turn to...
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A good New Year's Resolution: Moms need to remember themselves.
From Anna Sutton via ACEs in Maternal Health group ... Love this table top conversation between Jada Pinkett Smith, her daughter and mother. Take home message... If you're a mom, don't forget who YOU are to yourself. You weren't always a mom. Your kids need to see this part of you so that they will remember to value themselves when they become parents. If you have a mom, remind her she's also a beautiful woman. If you're a partner, help her to find a safe, stress free...
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A Shared Sentence The Devastating Toll of Parental Incarceration on Kids, Families and Communities (www.acef.org) & Commentary
Here's a link to the policy report put out earlier this year by the Annie E. Casey Foundation. Here's a summary of what's in it in case you want to explore it more. More than 5 million U.S. children have had a parent in jail or prison at some point in their lives. The incarceration of a parent can have as much impact on a child’s well-being as abuse or domestic violence. But while states spend heavily on corrections, few resources exist to support those left behind. A Shared Sentence offers...
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Emergency Department Admissions for Child Sexual Abuse in the United States from 2010 to 2016 [jamanetwork.com]
By Jesse J. Helton, Jason T. Carbone, et al., JAMA Pediatrics, November 4, 2019 For children who have been sexually abused, emergency department (ED) professionals provide immediate medical care, including testing and treatment for sexually transmitted infections, prophylaxis for potential HIV exposure, and emergency contraception. In some cases, ED clinicians conduct forensic examinations to assist with child protection and criminal investigations. Physicians and nurses in EDs are among the...
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Erasing My ACES
Why I hid ACES from my medical records in order to receive equal treatment.
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Family First Scholarships for 21st Annual Families and Fathers Conference
21st Annual Families and Fathers National Conference February 24-27, 2020 Hilton Los Angeles Airport 5711 West Century Boulevard Los Angeles, California 90045 I am honored to announce The Family First Scholarship supported by the Annie E. Casey Foundation as a Title Sponsor and State of California First 5 as a Co-Sponsor for the 21 st Annual Families and Fathers Conference, Next Level 2020! the terms "putting family first" and "it takes a village to raise a child" parallels with why we have...
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Fathers, Sons, and Intimacy: A Story of Moving Past Childhood Adversity
Seth’s natural impulse was to shy away from showing affection to his girlfriend. That made perfect sense to me since he grew up with a father who rarely showed affection to anyone in the family. Seth’s grandfather was an alcoholic who punished his children harshly. Seth understood his father received very little love and tenderness and probably never received any physical comfort like a hug or pat on the back. The lack of intimacy between father and son extended back through the generations.
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Findings from the Preventing and Addressing Intimate Violence when Engaging Dads (PAIVED) Study [futureswithoutviolence.org]
From Futures Without Violence, March 2020 Webinar Description: This webinar will explore findings from the Preventing and Addressing Intimate Violence when Engaging Dads (PAIVED) study , and presenters will identify approaches that fatherhood programs take or could take to help prevent and address intimate partner violence among fathers.The PAIVED study examines the approaches that fatherhood programs take to help prevent and address intimate partner violence (IPV) among fathers. The webinar...
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FLYERS: Understanding ACEs & Parenting to Prevent & Heal ACEs
We are excited to share two flyers which can be downloaded, distributed, or used freely. One is brand new and the other is a revision. They are titled as follows (and attached below): Parenting to prevent and heal ACEs Understanding ACEs 1. Parenting to prevent and heal ACEs This brand new flyer us based on the work of Donna Jackson Nakazawa who worked with us and generously allowed us to paraphrase content from her book, Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology & How...
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From Promise to Practice: Aligning Housing and Services to Support Survivors of Intimate Partner Violence [howhousingmatters.org]
Historically, approaches to ending homelessness and those for ending IPV have operated, at best, in parallel. Despite evidence that domestic violence is a leading cause of homelessness among women , youth, and families and that abuse and its impacts continue long after survivors leave relationships, very few survivor-centered housing options exist . But this is beginning to change. Ending homelessness for families and youth is now a national priority. In response to this shift, several IPV...
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Gathering in Topeka, Kansas for the Educators’ Art of Facilitation Chapter III
I never believed that a man who abuses anyone physically, emotionally or verbally is simply a monster.That's too simple.There is a reason why men do what they do, and don't do and in order to help men and women to not be hurtful to themselves or others we must as I said in my last post ”help them heal.” We must advocate for a world in which we don't punish, we transform. I have always believed this on many issues, from domestic violence to drug addiction to other acts of criminality. We...
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Going beyond asking what happened: building beloved community
“Our goal is to create a beloved community and this will require a qualitative change in our souls as well as a quantitative change in our lives.”- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. “beloved community is formed not by the eradication of difference but by its affirmation, by each of us claiming the identities and cultural legacies that shape who we are and how we live in the world.” –bell hooks One of the most notable descriptors of trauma-informed care is shifting the question of what is wrong...
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Great Basic Parenting Tips & Why I Have Such a Hard Time Sharing Them
At least once a week I struggle about what to share here. This is my most recent example. It's a series of tips on the U.S. Department of Education . These are great hand-outs with comprehensive information about child development that's not too long, abstract or hard to read. Here's the list (also attached below). I especially like the flyer for talking about feelings which has the tag line "Talking is teaching." And the short summary of milestones at different ages and stages from birth to...
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Handling Your Child’s Challenging Behaviors at Every Age: New Parenting Guide from Yolo Child Abuse Prevention Council/Yolo County Children's Alliance
The Yolo County Child Abuse Prevention Council (CAPC) and Yolo County Children’s Alliance (YCCA) are excited to share our new parenting guide: Handling Your Child’s Challenging Behaviors at Every Age. This resource for parents and caregivers provides positive discipline tips and resources to handle challenging behaviors in babies, toddlers, preschoolers, school-age children, and teenagers. Each age group page has: tips on how parents can connect with their child, some common challenging...
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Healing Youth With Nature and Connection: an Interview with Peter Mayfield (madinamerica.com)
Gateway Mountain Center in Truckee, California provides nature-based therapeutic mentoring for youth. Gateway's program, ‘ Whole Hearts, Minds and Bodies ’ is the first nature-based therapeutic program in California to achieve full-service partner contracts with County behavioral health departments and certification as a MediCal provider. Peter Mayfield, founder and Executive Director, spoke with James Moore of Mad In America. To read the interview or listen to the podcast, go to ...
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Health Care System Fails Many Transgender Americans (npr.org)
In the basement of Casa Ruby in Washington, D.C., transgender men and women in their late teens and 20s, mostly brown or black, shared snacks, watched TV, chatted or played games on their phones. Many of them, said Corado, are part of the 31 percent. That's 31 percent of transgender Americans who lack regular access to health care. The finding comes from a new poll by NPR, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health. Corado pointed to one crucial word...
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Helping Someone with PTSD: Helping a Loved One While Taking Care of Yourself (www.helpguide.org/)
"PTSD can take a heavy toll on relationships. It can be hard to understand your loved one’s behavior—why they are less affectionate and more volatile. You may feel like you’re walking on eggshells or living with a stranger. You may have to take on a bigger share of household tasks, deal with the frustration of a loved one who won’t open up, or even deal with anger or disturbing behavior. The symptoms of PTSD can also lead to job loss, substance abuse, and other problems that affect the whole...
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How Childhood Stress Can Knock 20 Years Off Your Life (www.theguardian.com)
Note: A friend sent this article to my boyfriend about that "ACE stuff" this weekend. I sense tipping point. Here are some excerpts from the article by Paul Cocozza. T here is a scene in James Redford’s new film, Resilience , in which a paediatrician cites a parental misdeed so outmoded as to seem bizarre. “Parents used to smoke in the car with kids in the back and the windows rolled up,” she says, incredulous. How long ago those days now seem; how wise today’s parents are to the dangers of...
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How Does Trauma Affect a Person’s Interaction with Their Child? (www.nicabm.com) & Commentary
Has anyone seen this video posted on the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine (NICAMB) blog? "According to Dr. Ruth Lanius, a parent's experience of trauma can impact their ability to form a close, intimate relationship with their child." Ruth Buczynski, PhD Those of us Parenting with ACEs sure know that's the truth. Developmental trauma impacts our ability to form close and intimate relationships with ourselves, other adults and our children. The video was...
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How One Connection at CYW’s ACEs Conference Sparked Awareness into Action
Origins offers a number of training and consulting services. We developed The Basics as a half-day session to provide the foundation to support trauma-informed and resilience practices across sectors and industries. The session includes an overview of the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study, the neurobiology of toxic stress, the impact of social and historical trauma, and the science of resilience. We have tested The Basics with two cross-sector audiences, in Los Angeles and Phoenix.
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How one Los Angeles mother overcame maternal depression and now helps others do the same [CenterForHealthJournalism.com]
It was during my second pregnancy when the changes really hit me. I had recently moved to the East Los Angeles neighborhood of Boyle Heights. This is where I now work as a perinatal case manager for Maternal and Child Health Access and where most of my clients live, but at the time I was unemployed. During the pregnancy, I noticed my anxiety and depression growing so strong they almost knocked me over. I was training to be a mental health specialist and had been looking for a job for two...
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"They Know My Name": Parents Help Make a Collective Impact
Kimberlee Coronado recalls listening to a presentation of statewide data on children, poverty and trauma, and feeling acutely aware of the survey’s missing piece. It was a meeting on trauma-informed care; around the table were social service providers and representatives of local and county agencies. Coronado felt her anger rising. “I said, ‘What’s not even on your radar are kids with disabilities; you’re missing a whole category of kids who experience daily trauma,’” she recalls. Coronado...
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This woman's emotional postpartum depression story is actually incredibly common. (upworthy.com)
My constant companions were irritability, anxiety, an unending feeling of being overwhelmed, and sadness. Pure, shoulder-sobbing sadness. I cried a lot. Sometimes for hours on end — seemingly without reason. I sat on my couch, in my car, in the shower, virtually anywhere — willing myself to feel better. I thought I could fix it. That I could try harder, smile more, eat healthier, get a little sleep. I was certain I had to take care of this alone and that no one could know how horribly I was...
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Thoughts to share
Thoughts to share - “Abuse is never deserved, it is an exploitation of innocence.” Lorraine Nilon “When you can identify the insecurities inside the person that is hurting you then you can begin to heal. It isn’t about you. It is about their past.” Shannon L. Alder “Trauma… does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally heard only by the one held captive.” Danielle Bernock Take care, Michael A diagnosis is not a destiny “...
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Through a Trauma Lens: The Need for Doulas
Trigger warning: trauma, doctors, hospital, birth, sex It is very important to me to approach all of the work that I do from a trauma-informed perspective. Whether it is asking for consent before touching a student in yoga class, offering self-regulation skills to those I work with, or preparing clients for potential triggers*, I do my best to incorporate my on-going learning in the field of trauma into my professional practices. Recently, I began taking trauma classes for professionals...
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TIC: News and Notes for March 2020
ACEs, Adversity's Impact Lessons learned integrating ACEs science into health clinics: Staff first, THEN patients Launching a revolution Stress is a key to understanding many social determinants of health Is trauma driving some eating disorders? Adverse childhood experiences: What we know, what we don't know, and what should happen next Childhood maltreatment initiates a developmental cascade that leads to relationship dysfunction in emerging adulthood Report reveals link between poverty,...
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TIC Take Five: Navigating through Grief: Supports for Ourselves and Others
Here's another in a little series we're posting over on the Lancaster County (PA) ACES & Resilience Connection site to promote a regular practice to "take five" (minutes) for self-care. Sharing with the wider ACES Connection community in case it's helpful. Peace. Be well, everyone. In an article last week in Harvard Business Review, titled “That Discomfort You’re Feeling is Grief”, grief expert David Kessler names the multiple types of losses we’re experiencing in the midst of the...
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To The Single Parent Who Pushes On (www.scarymommy.com)
Note: Many parents who are parenting with ACEs could use some extra support. Some, have little or none. A woman posted a link to this article on Facebook and I share it because she noted, as a survivor (of ACEs), there aren't always in-laws and grandparents or extended family to step in and help out. This is hard. She didn't want pity. I don't feel pity. But I feel empathy. She can't get sick and if she does it's miserable, emotionally, physically and often financially. Some of us who are...
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To Zoe’s Mom: I See You
I am not even sure where to start. But, I know I need to write about this. I need to give this to the world. Perhaps to another mother who is facing the darkness and can’t see her way out. Perhaps she is watching her children caught in the cyclone that is her life. I think she is who I am writing this for. And maybe for me too. I am doing some amazing work with a community that is fast becoming dear to my heart. I look at the people who keep showing up that are trying to wrap their heads...
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Toolkit on Domestic Violence and ACEs Now Available
This blog post is to share our toolkit, "A Resilience Framework for Domestic Violence and Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)." The toolkit is a PowerPoint that can be downloaded here and is free to share. This project started nearly 24 months ago with support from the Arctic Fulbright Initiative to examine the intersections between domestic violence and ACEs and create an open access resource. A statewide survey in Alaska and focus groups in Finland provided recommendations on information...
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Trauma in the Classroom: How Educators Should Approach it and What Parents and Students Should Expect From Schools [newsstand.clemson.edu]
By Michael Staton, Clemson University College of Education, November 18, 2019 When students arrive at school, they don’t check their trauma at the door or ignore it. Considering the effect trauma can have on student learning, teachers can’t choose to ignore it, either. Trauma leads to learning problems, lower grades, suspensions, expulsions and even long-term health problems. Teachers are increasingly expected to identify and work with issues students bring to school, and based on related...
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Vacancy: Self-Worth in the Mind of a Childhood Abuse Survivor
The feeling of having a healthy supply of self-worth is something I can only imagine might have been more readily available, natural and automatic if I was able to see that in myself as a child. As an adult survivor of childhood abuse, self-worth was not supplied in healthy doses while growing up.
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Video Course Teaches Strategies for Reducing Conflict in Shared Custody
Splitting custody can be one of the hardest challenges any parent can face -- and a harsh and ongoing trigger for people parenting with ACEs. Our new video-based course, Positive Shared Custody helps parents stop the fighting and build a more cooperative and harmonious co-parenting relationship that benefits parents AND children. Created by a real divorced couple (that's me and my ex, Tim Fricker, who happens to be a family law attorney), the course includes 57 minutes of video content where...
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Weathering the Storms: A Guide to Healthy Expressions of Emotions for Parents and Children from YCCA
Yolo County Children’s Alliance is excited to share Weathering the Storms: A Guide to Healthy Expressions of Emotions for Parents and Children. This resource for parents and caregivers, which we are launching during Child Abuse Prevention Month, discusses how to identify emotions, the importance of empathy, and how to prevent and weather emotional storms. The guide is available in English, Spanish, and Russian at www.yolokids.org/weathering-storms-guide-healthy-expressions-emotions . The...
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What If I Told You?
What if I told you that I was a victim of child sex abuse? As a survivor of child sexual abuse , I have a clear understanding of the importance of addressing stigma and shame as it pertains to sexual abuse, sexual assault and rape. Victims, especially young children, often do not disclose sexual abuse. Those who are witnesses of child sexual abuse, or who are trusted by survivors enough that they confide in them, are often ill-equipped to handle the responsibility. And, many times, parents...
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What If I've Given My Children Bipolar Disorder? (www.ravishly.com) & Commentary
We just had a chat about talking about hard topics with kids earlier this month. This article is about that. It's beautifully written and honest. I admire memoir writers who break silence about parenting with mental illness and/or emotional pain. Lots of people struggle but few write, speak or share about doing so. As a result a whole lot of people feel alone and might suffer more shame and pain even when help is available. Articles like these can help. Stories can challenge or refine our...
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What Kids Wish Their Teachers Knew (www.nytimes.com)
A brilliant idea by Kyle Schwartz , a grade school teacher, was used in class. She started a sentence students could finish. It was "I wish my teacher knew...." It became a Twitter campaign #iwishmyteacherknew and a book by the same name. I'm so glad. The experiences of children, in their own words, are being shared and it's powerful. Here's a snippet below from the New York Times article . The teacher's quote is important as is what the child wrote. As a writer and a mother and an advocate,...
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What Renee Taught Me About Why Some People Harm Themselves
Why do people cut themselves? Here's a story of my work with Renee and how we helped her find better ways to deal.
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When Is It Sex, and When Is It Sexual Abuse or Assault?
By understanding the difference between sex and sexual abuse, trauma survivors can understand that unwanted touching they experienced in the past was not sex. Sex is always consensual in a way that feels safe and pleasurable. Abuse occurs without your consent, and is never your fault.
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Spokane, WA, public health nurses create trauma-sensitive toolkit for parents/caregivers
Public health nurses at Spokane Regional Health District (SRHD) developed a 178-page toolkit -- 1*2*3 Care -- for caregivers of children. They define caregivers as parents, g randparents, child care providers, teachers, and others who care...
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Sponsorship Opportunity to Help Community Resilience Initiative
CRI is seeking various levels of sponsors for our Fourth Annual Beyond Paper Tigers conference. We would love if you would consider partnering with us to assist our community's education, best practices, and treatment strategies. Sponsorships will help pay for speakers, meals, supplies, and conference activities. To partner with us at our highest gift level- as a lead sponsor- would bring profound impact to our conference. We would be grateful for the honor of calling you our lead sponsor,...
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Strengthening Families: Increasing positive outcomes for children and families [www.cssp.org]
We engage families, programs, and communities in building key protective factors. Children are more likely to thrive when their families have the support they need. By focusing on the five universal family strengths identified in the Strengthening Families Protective Factors Framework , community leaders and service providers can better engage, support, and partner with parents in order to achieve the best outcomes for kids. How We Do It The Strengthening Families framework is a...
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Survivor-Led Resource: Finding Wholeness Survivor Yoga Retreat (www.zabieyamasaki.com)
I just heard about an amazing 3-day workshop coming to CA in 2017. It's led by a trauma survivor who is also a trauma-sensitive trained yoga teacher. Her name is Zabie Yamasak and she's the founder of Transcending Sexual Violence Through Yoga. I interviewed Zabie a few years ago when writing a series of profiles about trauma survivors who have created non-traditional healing programs for other trauma survivors. This workshop includes yoga, hiking, massage and reflection. It's inaccessible...
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Taming the Dragons: Helping Children Cope: Ages Birth to Twelve Years
Taming the Dragons is a training manual for parents, foster parents, and kinship caregivers. It was developed out of a crisis nursery in WA state by Sue Delucchi. English and Spanish versions attached here for free downloads.