Tagged With "emotional freedom technique"
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3 Signs You Have Emotionally Neglectful Parents [blogs.psychcentral.com]
It would be so much easier if emotionally neglectful parents wore a sign on their heads. And although many, if they are more obvious, like narcissistic, authoritarian or addicted parents, may be far easier to identify..., most emotionally neglectful parents are generally well-meaning. They want to be good parents, but they simply do not know what to do. They do not know that they need to validate their children’s emotions, or how to do it. Here’s the most important point: it does not matter...
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7 Ways to Help a Child Deal with Traumatic Stress
Traumatic stress feels awful. Thankfully, there are small things we can all do to help relax a hyperaroused nervous system.
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Fathers & ACEs / Quotes & Resources
Below, please find excerpts from the fabulous Fathers & ACEs chat we had a few weeks ago. Resources and healing approaches mentioned during the chat are listed as well. For the complete transcript , go here and for more about the featured guests, go here. We will have more for/by fathers in Parenting with ACEs going forward. ACEs as Assessment Discussion Parenting Forgiveness Resources Mentioned Organization: Guardians of the Children Canada TedTalk: Nadine Burke Harris, How Childhood...
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Going beyond asking what happened: building beloved community
“Our goal is to create a beloved community and this will require a qualitative change in our souls as well as a quantitative change in our lives.”- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. “beloved community is formed not by the eradication of difference but by its affirmation, by each of us claiming the identities and cultural legacies that shape who we are and how we live in the world.” –bell hooks One of the most notable descriptors of trauma-informed care is shifting the question of what is wrong...
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Healing from Codependency and the Freedom that Awaits
There is no healing without recognition of that which needs to be healed. Someone who has clogged arteries cannot heal those clogged arteries if they are unaware they have clogged arteries. To heal mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, or cognitively first requires an acknowledgment of some kind of deficit or wound. In order to acknowledge a wound one must become conscious or self-aware of such wound.
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How Living in a Black Female Body Incites Perpetual Attack [psmag.com]
Before scores of professional athletes brought black Americans' thorny relationship with love of country center stage, did you know that, in 2014, a black girl in Texas had started her own protest ritual of sitting during the Pledge of Allegiance? Much like how today's athletes are citing racial injustice as reasoning to exercise their First Amendment rights, the Houston senior, who has declined to be named, recently stated the following: "We live in a country where there isn't justice and...
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How to Become a Compassionate Parent
There are many benefits to learning how to feel your emotions. One is it helps you become a more compassionate, empathetic parent. The weekend before I flew to Iceland, I pulled my luggage out of our storage room and came across the boxes I’m saving for my girls. These boxes contain all of my daughters’ art, birthday decorations, cards, diaries, etc., from the time they were little girls. It was a family weekend, so we all decided to go through these mementoes together. It was a sweet...
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Weathering the Storms: A Guide to Healthy Expressions of Emotions for Parents and Children from YCCA
Yolo County Children’s Alliance is excited to share Weathering the Storms: A Guide to Healthy Expressions of Emotions for Parents and Children. This resource for parents and caregivers, which we are launching during Child Abuse Prevention Month, discusses how to identify emotions, the importance of empathy, and how to prevent and weather emotional storms. The guide is available in English, Spanish, and Russian at www.yolokids.org/weathering-storms-guide-healthy-expressions-emotions . The...
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What Renee Taught Me About Why Some People Harm Themselves
Why do people cut themselves? Here's a story of my work with Renee and how we helped her find better ways to deal.
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When Hidden Grief Gets Triggered During COVID-19 Confinement
first published by The Meadows 4/15/20 Our sense of loss during the current COVID-19 crisis can trigger hidden emotions from when we experienced a sense of loss before. Whatever early losses you have had in your life — whether they be your own divorce, your parents, or both, or the abandonment of one parent, a childhood or parental illness or death, financial upheaval, constant moving around, or growing up with parental addiction or adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) — they are likely to...
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Sheltering in Place: ACEs-Informed Tips for Self-Care During a Pandemic
Millions of lives have been affected in unprecedented ways by the Coronavirus (COVID-19). We are all grappling with uncertainty—our daily routines interrupted, not knowing what is to come. For those of us who have Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), these times can be particularly distressing. At the Center for Youth Wellness (CYW), we know that childhood trauma can have a significant impact on an individual’s health and well-being – both physiologically and psychologically. Since the...
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Strengths-Based Parenting Guides from Yolo County Children's Alliance
Yolo County Children’s Alliance (YCCA) parenting guides promote positive parenting skills and strengthen protective factors that have been identified to reduce the likelihood of child abuse and neglect. All three YCCA guides are available in English, Spanish, and Russian on our website: www.yolokids.org/forfamilies . Each guide also has a Conversation Starters for Providers , which can be found at https://www.yolokids.org/providers-guides . Below please find more information about each...
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Tackling Tantrums - Raising Emotionally Agile Kids
Becoming emotionally agile does not happen overnight. Attuned parenting is the key. How we, parents deal with our child's difficult behavior and tantrums plays a big role in our kids developing this skill.
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The Beautiful Darkness: A Handbook for Orphans
I became a professional reader long before I was a writer when I was living in homeless shelters, subsidized housing, and welfare hotels with my mother in New York City. Most of the middle class and affluent black folks I would come to know in the future would wince and give me a look I couldn’t read when I would tell the story that I outline in my new memoir, The Beautiful Darkness: A Handbook for Orphans . All some intolerant, ignorant bigots need is to continue to hear about the...
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Raising a Secure Child: How Circle of Security Can Help / Quotes & Commentary
I'm one of those people who reads multiple books at a time, at least when it comes to non-fiction. I grab a book from the pile on my desk to help me get through the time on the elliptical machine at the gym. I can't watch the news and exercise at the same time. That's two hard things at once which is one too many. Anyhow, right now I'm reading this book which just came out. It's geared towards parents, is written by Kent Hoffman, Glen Cooper and Bert Powell with Christine M. Benton. The full...
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Resources for Supporting Children's Emotional Well-being during the COVID-19 Pandemic [childtrends.org]
By Jessica Dym Bartlett, Jessica Griffin, Dana Thomson, Child Trends, March 19, 2020 The following guidance, recommendations, and resources are provided by child trauma experts at Child Trends and the Child Trauma Training Center at the University of Massachusetts. The Center is housed at the University of Massachusetts with Child Trends as the lead evaluating agency, with funding from SAMHSA and the National Child Traumatic Stress Network and additional support from HRSA. While the Centers...
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RYSE Center's Listening Campaign: Young people in Richmond, CA help adults understand trauma, violence, coping, and healing
"My experience with violence is very brutal...I grew up with violence as if it were my sibling." - LC participant (youth) "We know we can't run the city- it's too complex- but our experience and our voices should count, especially because we're the most effected ." - LC participant (youth) "Our city's problems are shared by us all; we are all part of the problem AND the solution. Listening is a key component to healing." - LC Share Out partici pant (adult) Three years ago, RYSE Center in...
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Self Soothing Strategies for Parents and Kids
Learn 4 simple tools for parents and kids to calm down together. About the presenter: Joyelle Brandt is a self care coach for moms. She specializes in working with mothers who are survivors of abuse, to help them develop a personalized self soothing toolkit for stress management. As a speaker, mothering coach, and multi-media creator, Joyelle works to dismantle the stigma that keeps childhood abuse survivors stuck in shame and self-hatred. She is the author of Princess Monsters from A to Z...
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Meet Your Child’s Needs For Improved Behavior
Understanding WHY a child behaves as he/she does provides you with the answer as to what the child needs to willingly and capably improve his/her behavior. Communication is a behavior, and all forms of behavior are ways of communicating. The child who resists bedtime is communicating something, and the message goes beyond merely saying, “I don’t want to.” The same is true for the child who refuses to turn off the TV or turn away from the video game. The child who speaks to you...
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Meet Your Child’s Needs For Improved Behavior
Understanding WHY a child behaves as he/she does provides you with the answer as to what the child needs to willingly and capably improve his/her behavior. Communication is a behavior, and all forms of behavior are ways of communicating. The child who resists bedtime is communicating something, and the message goes beyond merely saying, “I don’t want to.” The same is true for the child who refuses to turn off the TV or turn away from the video game. The child who speaks to you...
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Mothers in Prison (www.nytimes.com)
Though the language of ACEs aren't used in this piece, so much of it is about parenting with ACEs. For the parents who are in prison, as adults and the children they once were as well as the impact being in prison has on their children. E xcerpt 1: TULSA, Okla. — The women’s wing of the jail here exhales sadness. The inmates, wearing identical orange uniforms, ache as they undergo withdrawal from drugs, as they eye one another suspiciously, and as they while away the days stripped of...
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The Building Blocks of HOPE – Block #4: Social-Emotional Development
We have been so encouraged to hear how HOPE (Healthy Outcomes from Positive Experiences) is resonating with the ACES Connection community and are thrilled to see our community continue to grow. Here we present the fourth mini-blog in our series on the Building Blocks of HOPE. Children need ample opportunities for productive social and emotional development. Developing social and emotional competencies describes the fourth of the 4 Building Blocks of HOPE . What do we mean by social and...
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The CDC and WHO are teaming up to end the ‘contagious disease’ of child violence [WashingtonPost.com]
The world can be a dark place for many children: the "lost boys" from Sudan, refugees fleeing the conflict in Syria, child sex workers in Brazil, baby girls abandoned in China, kids pulled into gang drug wars in the United States. Such suffering by children is more common than most people might think and represents what some believe to be one of our biggest public-health crises of all time. A study published in January in the journal Pediatrics puts that violence into stark perspective by...
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The Importance of Positive Emotional Communication Starting From Infancy
“Why do some children become sad, withdrawn, insecure, or angry, whereas others become happy, curious, affectionate, and self-confident?” It has something to do with emotions and emotional communication.
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How to Have Difficult Conversations (dailygood.org)
Google has spent millions of dollars proving that trust is the bedrock of constructive communication. They wanted to know why their best teams succeeded, and after not being able to prove any of their assumptions and going back to observe those teams, they found that what they had in common was not personality or intelligence or confidence or prior success, but something they called ‘psychological safety.’ That’s the kind of safety that’s built on feeling able to be real and vulnerable in a...
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How Trauma Therapy Cultivated My Recovery
I was 5 years old when I had my first encounter with trauma. Too young to comprehend the magnitude of the situation, my first grade class participated in a “Good Touch/Bad Touch” workshop,centered around educating and recognizing signs of sexual abuse. I found relief in finding a safe place to lay down the burden I had been carrying. I went straight to the school counselor and told her, in vivid description, the intimate details of my unwarranted molestation. I remember the grueling...
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'I am not okay': The remarkable response to the Charlie Rose allegations, from his CBS colleagues
This afternoon, Charlie Rose was fired from PBS and CBS. This morning, G ayle King and Norah O'Donnell, who anchor with Charlie Rose, reported on this national story. Here's an excerpt from an article by J. Freedom du Lac , Amy B Wang and Marwa Eltagouri which discusses this video clip. I'm okay and not okay. How are you? Are you talking about this with your kids, friends, partner, co-workers? I've been asked how I'm handling all the news reports of sexual harassment, assault and abuse being...
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In honour of my Dad, Remembrance Day 2019
War is most certainly Hell. It is also a source of #ACEs for the children of veterans. Here's a little insight into my story.
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Inheriting and Inventing Fatherhood (onbeing.org)
The kind of father you become can be heavily influenced notions you don’t even know you have the day your child is born. For better or worse, it’s impossible to enter life as a parent unaffected by the framework and culture of your upbringing. It’s your starting point. I was exposed as a young boy to many different models of fatherhood from various sources on TV, at the movies, in my family, and around the neighborhood: the quiet, aloof dad who comes home from work and is left alone to sit...
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Introducing the Full Potential Parenting Podcast!
I'm excited to announce that The Full Potential Parenting Podcast is here! This podcast features short (6-12 min.) segments with stress release techniques that work, offers book reviews of books that have been transformational, informative, or inspiring, introduces concepts critical to any parent of a child who is experiencing big (and confusing) emotions and behaviors, and provides insights about non-pharma approaches to healing. The first few episodes are now available on iTunes here:...
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Why Focus on Resilience? 2019 BPT Conference Big Idea Session with Teri Barila
“There comes a point where we need to stop just pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why they’re falling in” -Desmond Tutu. This quote captures the essence of why resilience matters. To Community Resilience Initiative, Resilience is not about “lifting yourself up by your bootstraps” or “bouncing back” from serious harm or injury. To us, Resilience is about self-discovery and self-awareness based on what the ACE Study, neurobiology, and epigenetics tell us...
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New Video: This is What It Feels Like When Your Brain is Dysegulated from CPTSD
Everyone’s brain and emotions get dysregulated sometimes, and almost everyone is able to eventually re-regulate. But if you grew up with abuse, neglect or other trauma during childhood, you may get more dysregulated more often, and have a harder time bouncing back, leaving you with a lack of focus and coordination, overblown (or deadened) emotions, and difficulty connecting and communicating appropriately with others. In this video I talk about what dysregulation feels like — if you know...
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Parentification: Growing Up Too Soon
“ We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us - how we can take it, what we do with it - and that is what really counts in the end. How to take the raw stuff of life and make it a thing of worth and beauty - that is the test of living.” Joseph Fort Newton This week in the childhood trauma education series, I will tackle parentification . I discovered so much while researching this topic that explains a lot for me. Have you heard...
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Parentification: Growing Up Too Soon
“ We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us - how we can take it, what we do with it - and that is what really counts in the end. How to take the raw stuff of life and make it a thing of worth and beauty - that is the test of living.” Joseph Fort Newton This week in the childhood trauma education series, I will tackle parentification . I discovered so much while researching this topic that explains a lot for me. Have you heard...
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Parenting during a Pandemic: Donna Jackson Nakazawa Shares
Donna Jackson Nakazawa was a featured guest in an online conversation about coping with COVID held on Twitter recently. It was hosted by KPJR Films . Donna was asked about "effective 'go-to' survival techniques" for parents and her Twitter thread response is comforting, centering, and compassionate. Her words are consolidated and shared, with her permission, below: Donna Jackson Nakazawa is a science journalist and the author of six books, including “ The Angel and the Assassin: The Tiny...
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Parenting Matters: Supporting Parents of Children Ages 0-8 (The National Academies Press 2016)
A study published by The National Academies of Sciences in 2016 resulting in 10 Recommendations to build support for parents... "Over the past several decades, researchers have identified parenting- related knowledge, attitudes, and practices that are associated with improved developmental outcomes for children and around which parenting- related programs, policies, and messaging initiatives can be designed. However, consensus is lacking on the elements of parenting that are most important...
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Re: Resource List -- Parent Training
Hi - new member here! I'm a "trauma mama" who became an EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques or Tapping) practitioner to help me and other parents deal with the stress of parenting our challenging kiddos. I started Full Potential Parenting several years ago and offer an interview series (with various doctors and practitioners) and individual EFT sessions and courses. I also host the annual Healing our Children World Summit. I have an online course starting next week (first live call is Wed.,...
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ACE Member Discount 18th Annual Families and Fathers National Conference Limited
I am sharing a 20% discount and that U.S. OCSE as well as trauma experts are actively participating with a special series on March 1st at the 18th Annual Families & Fathers National Conference, "Never Giving Up - Breakthrough 2017", will be hosted by Fathers & Families Coalition of America from February 27 - March 3, 2017 in Los Angeles, CA. Early Bird Registration is now open with full event, two-day or one-day options for individuals to customize their training. The focus of this...
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Children's Books for Children 5 and up!
Here is a collection of books for children ages 5 and up dealing with adversity. Each of them have their own unique story however deal with numerous obstacles and challenges that many children deal with daily.
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Re: How to Become a Compassionate Parent
Thanks for this very concrete and useful post and list! I so appreciate you saying we cant go back to change our parenting but we def can choose today to "create new healthy memories as a family. Today we can begin again!
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Re: How to Become a Compassionate Parent
Svava: This brought a tear to my eye. Thank you for being so honest and hopeful. It must have been painful to hear you weren't there for your daughter, but it sounds like you got a chance to re-parent her in the way you were able to respond. That's so hopeful and realistic because parenting is hard and we often don't know what we don't or didn't know, til later. But it is not too late. Thank you for this. I'm sharing on Facebook, too. Cissy
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Re: Strengths-Based Parenting Guides from Yolo County Children's Alliance
Natalie: Thanks for sharing these resources here. I especially like Weathering the Storms and the tips which are good for parents with kids of all ages! Cis
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The Traumatic Impact of Racism on Young People and How to Talk About It [Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg]
Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg (Keynote speaker from the recent Creating a Resilient Community Conference) shared the excerpt from his book Reaching Teens titled The Traumatic Impact of Racism on Young People and How to Talk About It. This is a valuable resource for anyone interacting with youth and we are providing the excerpt as an attachment here for you to read and share. Also, Dr. Ginsburg will be coming back to our community (virtually) and you’ll be invited to his workshop. Look out for the...
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You and White Supremacy: A Challenge to Educators [tolerance.org]
It started as a series of Instagram posts; then it became a downloadable workbook. Now, the “Me and White Supremacy” challenge is reaching the mainstream—and creator Layla F. Saad hopes all teachers with white privilege will find the courage to take it. ADRIENNE VAN DER VALK ISSUE 62, SUMMER 2019 The night of June 26, 2018, Layla Saad was unable to sleep. The previous year had been a taxing one for the writer, life and business coach, and spiritual advisor. The deadly Unite the Right rally...
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This wasn't the first time
Going out to buy groceries, going out for a walk, driving your kid back home from school. For most people these activities are normal, everyday things with little to no excitement, as they should be. Unfortunately, getting food, exercising, and supporting my son’s education have been a little more out of the ordinary for me. You see, I am a Mexican Indigenous man, brown skin, shaved head. My ethnicity and physical appearance are by no means unusual, especially in the part of the country...
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Seven Steps to Calm an Explosive Child
Are you exhausted by the explosive behaviors of the children you love? First, I want to say I am so proud of you. I know the fatigue and frustration that comes with parenting a child who feels out of control. The fact that you are reading this article means you are looking for support and guidance, and that means you are on your way to helping the children in your life. And believe me, you are probably already doing a better job than you think! Kids need you to show up more than anything!
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Freedom From Trauma – Powerful & Profound Practices To Heal Trauma & Consciously Create The Body, Mind, Spirit You Truly Desire
We are living in complicated and stressful times. What needs to be healed seems more palpable than ever. It feels like the call to release what no longer serves has never been louder and we are feeling that tug at our core. While the founder of The League of Extraordinary People, Alfred White, has been gaining more clarity everyday on this, he was invited to be part of an event, more like a movement, to help others find freedom from what has been holding them back. It is a free, online...