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Parenting with PACEs. PACEs science & stories. Trauma-informed change.

Tagged With "Serve and Return"

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A Reflection of Real Life and the Amazing Influence of People: The Saga of C-PTSD Continues

Leisa Irwin ·
Cissy Note on Leisa's Amazing Post: This post isn't about parenting, specifically, but it is about C-PTSD which many parents are living with, sorting through and recovering from. I felt so much compassion for and admiration of Leisa reading this. I even felt some compassion for myself. I wonder how many others, while facing our ACEs feel the compassion of others or ourselves? I wonder if anyone, while battling symptoms, feels respected or admired? There can be so much shame. I hope that if...
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A Staffer’s Take On The Intersection Of Race, Trauma, And The Summit

Chloe Edwards ·
Voices for Virginia’s Children held The Virginia Summit on Childhood Trauma and Resilience on April 25, 2019. The Summit featured an array of workshops, including The Intersection of Racial Inequity and Trauma led by The Southside Trauma-Informed Community Network . The presenters identified and discussed the challenges of racial inequities and how trauma may later present within people of color. The supporting organization of the Southside Trauma-Informed Community Network, the Crater...
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Five Things to Know about Military Families with Linda Sanford

Christine Cissy White ·
Note: I adore Linda Sanford. She is also the author of one of my favorite books, Strong at the Broken Places: Overcoming the Trauma of Child Abuse which came out in 1991. So when I heard she was speaking at a local event hosted by The Riverside Trauma Center, about military families I had to go. I had not considered the stress faced by military families, many of who are also parenting with ACEs, as well. “There are five things I want you to know about military families,” said Linda Sanford.
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From One Survivor to Another, Helping Survivors of Human Trafficking Escape and Stay Safe [sandiegotribune.com]

By Lisa Deaderick, The San Diego Tribune, December 22, 2019 Marjorie Saylor remembers a woman who was looking for help leaving her trafficker. The woman was pregnant and waiting for a bed at a shelter to open up, but she had to wait on the street, alone and in the cold. Her trafficker found her and took her with him. “I never heard from her again. She only had a week left to go before her bed opened up, but the two weeks she toughed it out waiting on the street kept her in harm’s reach,”...
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Going beyond asking what happened: building beloved community

Kanwarpal Dhaliwal ·
“Our goal is to create a beloved community and this will require a qualitative change in our souls as well as a quantitative change in our lives.”- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. “beloved community is formed not by the eradication of difference but by its affirmation, by each of us claiming the identities and cultural legacies that shape who we are and how we live in the world.” –bell hooks One of the most notable descriptors of trauma-informed care is shifting the question of what is wrong...
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Great Basic Parenting Tips & Why I Have Such a Hard Time Sharing Them

Christine Cissy White ·
At least once a week I struggle about what to share here. This is my most recent example. It's a series of tips on the U.S. Department of Education . These are great hand-outs with comprehensive information about child development that's not too long, abstract or hard to read. Here's the list (also attached below). I especially like the flyer for talking about feelings which has the tag line "Talking is teaching." And the short summary of milestones at different ages and stages from birth to...
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Happy Mother's Day! Remembering The Greatest Generation of Moms...

Steve Sparks ·
“I waited. And waited… And then…I waited some more.”
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Helping Children in Emergencies: Keep Your Child’s Developmental Stage and Temperament in Mind

Jim Hickman ·
By Karissa Luckett, RN, BSN, MSW Common reactions to stress will fade over time for most children. Let’s be honest: Your exploring, tactile toddler won’t suddenly start keeping their hands to themselves. Your continually forgetful preschooler won’t suddenly start hand-washing properly just because you’ve told them it’s important. Depending on their ages, stages and temperaments, some children will require more reassurance or more time to shift than others. This situation is unique, and so is...
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HOPE in the time of Coronavirus: Inequities and Supporting Children

Bob Sege ·
Today's blog is reposted from https: positiveexperience.org/blog/ Link there for the hyperlinks, and for other in this series. Having safe, stable, and equitable environments to live, learn and play forms the second of the 4 Building Blocks of HOPE. Children need homes where they feel safe and secure and have their basic needs met. Children thrive in an environment that encourages curiosity and provides opportunities for learning to play and interact with other children. Today’s blog is...
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How It Feels & How We Heal: Parenting with ACEs Chat Quotes (You Tube, Database, PDFs, Links)

Christine Cissy White ·
Parenting with ACEs is sharing inspiration, information, and expertise from our chat series in 3 formats. Parenting with ACEs: How It Feels & How We Heal Quote Collection (pdf version below as well) Quotes Database (pdf version below as well) Links to Chat Transcripts and before and after-the-chat blog posts. Thanks to everyone who showed up, who shared, and who is doing the important work that is our mission (prevent ACEs, heal trauma, build resilience). We know that work happens...
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How 'McMindfulness' Manipulates Us into Coping Instead of Protesting [KQED.org]

Monica Bhagwan ·
An important discussion about use and misuse of mindfulness by Mina Kim. From the apps on our phones to the magazines at our grocery stores, we're inundated with tips on using "mindfulness" to reduce stress. But San Francisco State professor Ronald Purser argues that the mindfulness advertised is more like "McMindfulness": well-packaged, individualized complacency that preserves the status quo. Instead of linking our unhappiness to larger social structures, we identify it as self-imposed --...
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The Trauma Resiliency Model: A “Bottom-Up” Intervention for Trauma Psychotherapy (Journal of the American Psychiatric Nurses Association)

Morgan Vien ·
Grabbe L, Miller-Karas E. The Trauma Resiliency Model: A “Bottom-Up” Intervention for Trauma Psychotherapy. Journal of the American Psychiatric Nurses Association. 2017; 24 (1): 76-84.
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Through a Trauma Lens: The Need for Doulas

Jenna Brown ·
Trigger warning: trauma, doctors, hospital, birth, sex It is very important to me to approach all of the work that I do from a trauma-informed perspective. Whether it is asking for consent before touching a student in yoga class, offering self-regulation skills to those I work with, or preparing clients for potential triggers*, I do my best to incorporate my on-going learning in the field of trauma into my professional practices. Recently, I began taking trauma classes for professionals...
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TIC: News and Notes for March 2020

Scott A Webb ·
ACEs, Adversity's Impact Lessons learned integrating ACEs science into health clinics: Staff first, THEN patients Launching a revolution Stress is a key to understanding many social determinants of health Is trauma driving some eating disorders? Adverse childhood experiences: What we know, what we don't know, and what should happen next Childhood maltreatment initiates a developmental cascade that leads to relationship dysfunction in emerging adulthood Report reveals link between poverty,...
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To Help Kids Thrive, Coach Their Parents (nytimes.com)

In 1986, in a few of the poorest neighborhoods in Kingston, Jamaica, a team of researchers from the University of the West Indies embarked on an experiment that has done a great deal, over time, to change our thinking about how to help children succeed, especially those living in poverty. Its message: Help children by supporting and coaching their parents. The Jamaica experiment helps make the case that if we want to improve children’s opportunities for success, one of the most powerful...
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Tracing One’s Family ACEs Tree to Break the Familial Cycles of Alcohol Misuse

Lisa Frederiksen ·
My marrying an alcoholic never made sense to me. My mother developing the disease of alcoholism never made sense to me, either. And why my loved ones couldn’t get it together to stop or wrest control of their drinking was equally confusing. Yet I churned around and in and through this muck for almost four decades before my world was split wide open. It was 2003 and one of my loved ones entered a residential treatment program for alcoholism. I remember experiencing a giddy – “I knew it, I...
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Trauma-informed program in San Diego teaches parents to train other parents

Alicia St. Andrews ·
Story originally posted by Sylvia Paul. It took two years of weekly meetings between parents and organizers, but now 12 parent leaders at Cherokee Point Elementary School in City Heights, a mostly low-income urban neighborhood with 91,000 residents in...
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Watching My Daughter Develop the Same Anxiety I Struggle With [thecut.com]

Alicia Doktor ·
"It is relatively early on a summer evening, just after sunset. From my bed, I notice a shadow of a spindly branch dancing across the corner of the bedroom wall. I get up and close the curtains tightly to make it disappear, careful not to step on my daughter, who’s camped on my bedroom floor, lying stiffly under the weighted anxiety blanket I’d made her. I don’t mind the shadow, but I know it will make it impossible for her to fall asleep. This is the fourth night in a row she’s spent here.
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Webinar Slides and Recording: Building Resilient Communities with Elaine Miller-Karas

Alison Cebulla ·
Recorded live August 8, 2019. Find the slides attached below. The 1 hour video recording can be found on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/BUyY0FMjv8s Speaker: Elaine Miller-Karas, MSW, LCSW, Executive Director and Co-founder, Trauma Resource Institute. Host: Carey Sipp, Southeast Community Facilitator, ACEs Connection. Webinar Description: This webinar will explore integrating a biological based model to reduce the impacts of toxic stress for children and adults. It is a model both for...
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What If I Told You?

Ingrid Cockhren ·
What if I told you that I was a victim of child sex abuse? As a survivor of child sexual abuse , I have a clear understanding of the importance of addressing stigma and shame as it pertains to sexual abuse, sexual assault and rape. Victims, especially young children, often do not disclose sexual abuse. Those who are witnesses of child sexual abuse, or who are trusted by survivors enough that they confide in them, are often ill-equipped to handle the responsibility. And, many times, parents...
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When Hidden Grief Gets Triggered During COVID-19 Confinement

Tian Dayton ·
first published by The Meadows 4/15/20 Our sense of loss during the current COVID-19 crisis can trigger hidden emotions from when we experienced a sense of loss before. Whatever early losses you have had in your life — whether they be your own divorce, your parents, or both, or the abandonment of one parent, a childhood or parental illness or death, financial upheaval, constant moving around, or growing up with parental addiction or adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) — they are likely to...
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"A Better Normal" Community Discussion Series

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Shared Grief: If my daughter could know me it would help her understand her own suffering (www.risemangazine.org)

Christine Cissy White ·
Rise Magazine is one of the few places I know of that gives voice to the experiences of parents who have children involved with child welfare. About Rise: Every year almost 300,000 children enter foster care nationwide. Media coverage of foster care focuses on tragic child deaths, the need for foster and adoptive parents, and the experiences of young people who age out of foster care at 18 or 21. Less understood is that more than half of children in foster care return home to their parents...
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Sherman Alexie’s incredible openness in two articles & audios (www.KUOW.org) & Commentary

Christine Cissy White ·
"It all blends together. It's the way in which cruelty can be everyday ordinary to spectacular - but that it's a constant possibility. So that her unpredictable nature, her amazing beauty, and magic combined with her ability to be so mean." Sherman Alexie These articles , Facebook posts and audio clips and interviews with Sherman Alexie are so moving, beautiful and painful. It's like poetry, song, prayer or listening to birds in the trees. I may not get every message being shared but can...
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Single Mother Seeks to Give Daughter the Peace That Eluded Her [NYTimes.com]

Samantha Sangenito ·
Above the simple gray churches along a dimly lit section of Detroit, the brooding eyes of Lil Wayne, who was covered in chains and holding a bottle of Hennessy, peered from a billboard in the rough neighborhood where India Wayman grew up. Her childhood had been fraught with traumatic experiences. Her father was violent and inconsistent, Ms. Wayman said, and she was bullied at school. A social worker visited her home when she was 12. “Take her, we don’t need her here anymore,” Ms. Wayman, now...
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Spokane, WA, public health nurses create trauma-sensitive toolkit for parents/caregivers

Alicia St. Andrews ·
Public health nurses at Spokane Regional Health District (SRHD) developed a 178-page toolkit -- 1*2*3 Care -- for caregivers of children. They define caregivers as parents, g randparents, child care providers, teachers, and others who care...
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Taming the Dragons: Helping Children Cope: Ages Birth to Twelve Years

Alicia St. Andrews ·
Taming the Dragons is a training manual for parents, foster parents, and kinship caregivers. It was developed out of a crisis nursery in WA state by Sue Delucchi. English and Spanish versions attached here for free downloads.
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The Absence of Punishment in Our Schools

Rebecca Lewis-Pankratz ·
Where to begin... My heart is full of hope and joy as I watch the trauma-informed schools movement swell across our nation and planet. The science of ACEs is mind-bending to say the least and we are now able to open up a much deeper dialogue about human behavior and health. Ultimately this work is about healing… All. Of. Us. A new consciousness is taking root around ending the “us vs them” construct. The idea is growing that we’re all on this journey together and that no matter where our...
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The Brain Architects Podcast: Serve and Return: Supporting the Foundation [developingchild.harvard.edu]

From Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University, March 11, 2020 What is “serve and return”? What does it mean to have a “responsive relationship” with a child? How do responsive relationships support healthy brain development? And what can parents and caregivers do in their day-to-day lives to build these sorts of relationships? This episode of The Brain Architects podcast addresses all these questions and more! [ Please click here to listen to the podcast and for more resources .]
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The brain science behind Britain’s new parenting classes [WashingtonPost.com]

Jane Stevens ·
British Prime Minister David Cameron thinks parents need government-approved advice on raising kids. British parents aren't exactly thrilled with this recent proclamation. One of Cameron's new policy prescriptions, unveiled Monday with an announcement that England will pour £70 million over the next five years into “relationship support,” was state-backed parenting classes. Vouchers, he said, would help cover the enrollment of low-income families. Behind...
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Registration Open - 2019 Families and Fathers Conference Early Rate and Hotel Discount Closing Please Share

James Rodriguez ·
In forty-eight days, we open our 20th convening of a powerful conference focused on strengthening families, improving outcomes for children, and strategies to engage families. The 20th Annual Families and Fathers Conference hosted by Fathers and Families Coalition of America Sponsorships allow the extended early rate for an exceptional experience in Los Angeles, California from March 4th (pre-conference institute credential) through the main conference dates of March 5th - 7th. Please share...
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Resilience: A New Grief Myth That Can Hurt You (www.medium.com)

Christine Cissy White ·
Excerpts from an essay written by Candyce Ossefort-Russell : Full essay.
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Rise Magazine as Important Source of Parent Engagement

Christine Cissy White ·
I'm often asked how to improve parent engagement. I love this question. While I can and do share handouts , chat transcripts , and resources, and my own personal experiences, when relevant, I also recommend reading writing by parents speaking directly about parent experiences in specific systems. Rise Magazine is an example. This is their mission: Here are three stories published in Rise Magazine over the last few months. Diplomacy and Determination – When I had a conflict with my son’s...
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RYSE Center's Listening Campaign: Young people in Richmond, CA help adults understand trauma, violence, coping, and healing

Kanwarpal Dhaliwal ·
"My experience with violence is very brutal...I grew up with violence as if it were my sibling." - LC participant (youth) "We know we can't run the city- it's too complex- but our experience and our voices should count, especially because we're the most effected ." - LC participant (youth) "Our city's problems are shared by us all; we are all part of the problem AND the solution. Listening is a key component to healing." - LC Share Out partici pant (adult) Three years ago, RYSE Center in...
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Series: Surveillance Isn’t Safety (www.risemagazine.org)

Christine Cissy White ·
There's a great new series by Rise Magazine about how reporting to child protective services, by schools, impact children, parents, families, and relationships between families, schools, and communities. You can link to individual articles below or t o this series link, here. For those who don't know about Rise Magazine, here's some information:
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How Magic Hugs & Author Donna Jackson Nakazawa Make ACEs Science Useful to Parents

Christine Cissy White ·
Donna Jackson Nakazawa is a well-known writer and author. Her book, Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology is a go-to guide for lots of us and makes her a frequent guest on podcasts. Last week I heard Allison Morris interview her during her Healing Our Children World Summit . Morris, a self-described "trauma mama" and "single adoptive mother of a child with early developmental trauma, attachment issues, and some physical disabilities" who gathers information and...
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Managing Post-Traumatic Stress in a Pandemic: 3/19 Practices & Resources Update

Christine Cissy White ·
Are you looking for new ways to get connected, supported, or to manage stress while managing post-traumatic stress during this pandemic? I am. No matter what our past or present life circumstances, it's safe to say a whole bunch of us are feeling more stressed and if we live with chronic post-traumatic stress to begin with, we might be feeling especially vulnerable right now. New Practices & Resources as of 3/19/2020 Bioenergetic stress relief - Shaking and Grounding "SHAKING: One of the...
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Maternity Group Home Program Funding Opportunity. Applications Due 07/25/2019 [Admin for Children & Families]

Karen Clemmer ·
Funding Opportunity Application Due Date: 07/25/2019 Maternity Group Home Program *See attached pdf for more info. Description: The Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families' Family and Youth Services Bureau (FYSB) announces the availability of funds under the Transitional Living Program’s Maternity Group Home (MGH) grant program. The purpose to provide safe, stable, and appropriate shelter only for pregnant and/or parenting youth ages 16 to...
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Mediocre Mothering Made Better by Guided Imagery

Christine Cissy White ·
My parenting was not ideal yesterday. I'd slept three hours and had a condo deal fall through days before closing. My house will still sell so I don't know where we'll be living in a few weeks. This is high stress. I was distracted, on the phone over 50 times with real estate people, the bank, attorneys, friends, town hall and rental places. Not fun. I cried a little but mostly felt an overwhelmed shutdown, the kind that comes with terrible thoughts. Like when the realtor says, "This has...
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Mothers Who Leave Their Children (www.lithub.com) & Commentary

Christine Cissy White ·
There are times I can't talk. It might be after I read something or hear something or watch the news. I'm rarely triggered by honesty, writing or memoir. I'm triggered by smells, nightfall and feeling trapped. Truth, even what is called "ugly truth," to me, when told, is always a window opening letting the air move. Sometimes, I don't realize I'm clenched in my body or my life and holding tight to a secret or memory or belief. It's when I read a piece like this and feel a nod of knowing, not...
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The Relentless School Nurse: Candida Rodriguez is Creating Community Through the Power of Conversations That Matter

Robin M Cogan ·
Candida Rodriguez is my mentor, while she may disagree with that statement and say it is the opposite, it is the absolute truth. My respect, admiration, and amazement at the depth of her knowledge, talent, and compassion astound me every time we work together. Candida serves her complex and ever-changing community with dedication, skill and a relentless pursuit of coordinating care for her students and families. We are partners in the Community Cafe Initiative that began in 2015 after I...
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The Relentless School Nurse: What Happened at School Today - Two More Empty Desks

Robin M Cogan ·
Sincere Howard - age 17 & Shirleen Caban - age 19 The Camden City School District will have two more empty desks when we return from spring break. These two young people were students of mine at my former Camden, New Jersey school. They were gunned down in a park on Easter Sunday morning. With permission, I am sharing the reflections from Lisa Wallenburg, the art teacher who is working on the #NoMoreEmptyDesks project with me. Lisa was their art teacher and I was their school nurse. On...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter March 2020

Michael Skinner ·
Hi Folks, The March edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via Contact Us. PDF - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-03The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_March_2020.pdf Thanks! Michael. Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse &...
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How Trauma Therapy Cultivated My Recovery

Tricia Moceo ·
I was 5 years old when I had my first encounter with trauma. Too young to comprehend the magnitude of the situation, my first grade class participated in a “Good Touch/Bad Touch” workshop,centered around educating and recognizing signs of sexual abuse. I found relief in finding a safe place to lay down the burden I had been carrying. I went straight to the school counselor and told her, in vivid description, the intimate details of my unwarranted molestation. I remember the grueling...
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I’m not cured, but I am healing

Donna Jackson Nakazawa ·
I wanted every individual suffering from chronic illnesses to understand the emerging science on not only how early adversity can lead to adult chronic illness, but how we can heal.
Ask the Community

Looking for schools that specialize in "Resilience trumps ACEs"

Ramu Iyer ·
I am a volunteer in my community who are in the early stages of learning about trauma informed care. There are some teenagers in our community who have been impacted by ACEs and succumbed to using opioids. A few of them who could afford the expense have enrolled in out of state (expensive) residential treatment centers (RTC). I am not sure if some of these RTCs explicitly use trauma informed care. I am observing that the RTC "graduates" returning home may or may not be resilient, especially...
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New Toolkit Issued to Help Providers Measure Trauma With ACES Survey [youthtoday.org]

Alicia St. Andrews ·
A new toolkit is out that aims to help services providers give a survey about traumatic childhood experiences that are linked to negative effects on health and well-being. The toolkit, developed by The National Crittenton Foundation , offers recommendations about the Adverse Childhood Experiences survey, including how to talk to children and parents about the survey, track results and use the data for public education and policy advocacy. The toolkit also includes a sample protocol, case...
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Next "A Better Normal" community discussion series: April 23, 2020 — Education Upended, continued

Jane Stevens ·
Please join us for the ongoing discussion of 'A Better Normal- Education Upended'. Last time we just scratched the surface!! Our current capacity is 100 participants, so please join us on time and we will enter people until we reach capacity. These will be recorded and available on the ACEsConnection website. Zoom meeting info below.
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Opioid Addiction: Advice for Parents

Laura King ·
Given the way the media portray opioid addiction, it's natural to react with panic or moral outrage when you discover your child struggling with the problem. It's not natural to calm down and try to view your child as someone who is using opioids to cope with serious problems, though that is likely the case, according to research.
 
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