Tagged With "Caring for Our Community"
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10 Books About Race To Read Instead Of Asking A Person Of Color To Explain Things To You [bustle.com]
In today's current political and cultural climate, it's crucial that everyday Americans are engaging in important conversations about race, bias, discrimination, and privilege. For people of color, these conversations are nothing new; they are a requirement in communities where experiences of racism, bias, and bigotry are a part of everyday life. But for many white people who have never been burdened by a system built specifically to keep us down, these conversations can seem confusing,...
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10 Nature Activities to Help Get Your Family Through the Coronavirus Pandemic [childrenandnature.org]
By Richard Louv, Children & Nature Network, March 16, 2020 If the coronavirus spreads at the rate that experts believe it will, schools, workplaces and businesses will continue to close. Here’s a thread of silver lining. We’ll have more time for each other and nature. And, at least so far, nature’s always open. Getting outside — but at a safe distance from other people — can be one way to boost your family’s resilience. If you spend too much time indoors, “your vitamin D level goes...
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10 ways to avoid ACEs (during the pandemic)
How can we reduce ACEs and toxic stress during the COVID-19 pandemic? Many of us are concerned that increased stress might increase the risk for ACEs. For example, most child abuse happens when adults reach their breaking point. However, we are not powerless in the face of these challenges. HOPE - Healthy Outcomes from Positive Experiences - is a natural fit for ACES Connection, We invite you to join our new Balancing ACES with HOPE community . Let us know how you think HOPE about HOPE and...
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1000 TELLINGS!
I just had to cradle a bundle of books when my publisher showed me the first 1000 copies that arrived from the printer. A thousand copies! At this very moment the most important thing is they exist. Not if or when they’ll be purchased. Not who will get a copy or what they’ll think of it as they read it. What’s happening is I am telling. A thousand times over, I am telling. A lot of people already know that after every rape my father said, “You tell anyone and I’ll kill you.” And I’ve worked...
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15 Tips for Surviving Survival Mode (www.parent.co
Cissy's note: I love the gentle tone of this article and the advice given from the lessons learned and been there kind of a place. That said, please know it's not survival mode the way everyone means survival mode. It's more survival mode as in sleep-deprived or stretched feeling and not so much the survival mode of single parenting, poverty, health challenges, having to work and being or feeling unsafe. However, I share it for the gems that it does have and the reminder to perhaps try on a...
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Two Decades Later, A Mother Writes Back to the WIC Program She Used
One of my best friends, Heidi Aylward, is a high ACE scoring mother of two. She's also a feisty, funny and has a full life balancing work, parenting, friends and all the responsibilities of tending to home and loved ones. And she is a woman who used WIC . WIC defines itself as "The Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children (WIC) provides Federal grants to States for supplemental foods, health care referrals, and nutrition education for low-income pregnant,...
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2 Interviews with Dr. Bruce Perry
1. This was shared by @Emily Read Daniels, via Twitter, over the weekend. Bruce Perry back on The Trauma Therapist | Podcast It's excellent and interesting. I feel like I finally understand what the neurosequential model is and how and why it's been so useful to families and survivors as well as therapists. For me, hearing information explained, versus just reading about a concept, helps me understand it better. Here are just a few snippets but they make more sense in the context...
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20 Caregiver Resolutions for 2020
20 Caregiver Resolutions for 2020 Let someone make you a meal at least once a week and that someone can be anyone (including a fast-food chain restaurant Keep a daily Gratitude Journal and start each day with, “ I am grateful that the World has me” Don’t fold any fitted sheets for the entire year, just roll them into a ball Once a month go to a playground with a friend, a neighbor, sibling, spouse, co-worker and ask them to push you on the swing Stay in the shower or tub 5 minutes longer...
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2017 Recovery Month
September is Recovery Month. With more than a quarter of those participating in the ACE study detailing addiction in the family, and addiction commonly co-occuring with numerous additional ACEs, it is important to raise the awareness in the general community about the impact of parental addition, and how family recovery can be celebrated during this important month. SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration ) and many agencies, treatment centers and organizations...
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2019 Aspen Forum on Children and Families (livestream) Feb. 26-27
As state and federal lawmakers prepare for the year ahead, there is tremendous momentum for bold ideas that move families toward opportunity. The second Aspen Forum on Children and Families , held this week on February 26-27, will bring together national leaders – policymakers, practitioners, researchers, and philanthropists – to surface big ideas for investing in the full potential of children and families, two generations at a time. While in-person registration for this convening is...
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2019 Beyond Paper Tigers Conference Series - Why Take Course One and Course Two?
Community Resilience Initiative is officially launching a new series of blog posts, building to our 2019 Beyond Paper Tigers conference on June 25th - 27th. We’ll cover a range of topics relevant to conference material, events, and inspirations. In addition to the regular conference, CRI is offering two training add-on options on Tuesday June 25, 2019 prior to the conference: Resilience-Based Trainings, Course One and Two . https://criresilient.org/beyon...re-conference-event/ “A group of...
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25 Things You Do as an Adult When You've Experienced Childhood Emotional Abuse (www.themighty.com)
Excerpt from article by Juliette Virzi. It has been said that “no one escapes childhood unscathed.” But sayings like these can have an especially significant meaning for a person who has experienced emotional abuse as a child . The effects of emotional abuse can be both debilitating and far-reaching, often extending out of childhood and into adolescence and adulthood. For many, experiencing emotional abuse at a young age can affect their self-worth and relationships. For some, emotional...
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3 Concepts to Help Trauma Survivors Move Forward Into Healthier Relationships
It’s good, healthy and human to want love and seek it out. We live longer, healthier lives when we feel close to someone safe. Some people feel painfully disconnected, and long to open up to others. But then they stop themselves from reaching out. As therapists, we want to empower people to build more meaningful connections. For all of us, healthy relationships matter . In fact, deep relationships are essential to life as a healthy human being. For trauma survivors, the act of deepening...
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4 Jedi Mind(fulness) Tricks to Help an Anxious Child (themighty.com)
Middle school hurt. Social intimidation, academic challenges and parental pressures all set against the backdrop of swirling hormones and my personal penchant for worry . Around age 12, my anxiety really took flight and started to knock the wind right out of me — literally. The smallest challenges sparked internal firestorms of thoughts that manifested in stomachaches, crying, and often shortness of breath. My parents tried to cleave me from the throes of panic with consistent love and...
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4 Tips for Helping Your Kids Practice Mindfulness [PsychCentral.com]
Our kids get just as stressed out as we do. While they don’t have bills, a demanding boss or a continuously-increasing workload, they do have homework, classmates, teachers, bullies and big emotions. So it helps to have a variety of tools they can use to manage their stressors and regulate their emotions — tools they can take into adolescence and adulthood. Because stress and emotions are part of everyone’s daily life. And because everyone benefits from having healthy coping strategies.
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4 years after integrating ACEs science, Pueblo, CO clinic improves services for families; cuts ER costs, doctor stress
Four years ago, Dr. Leslie Dempsey would never have talked about ACEs — adverse childhood experiences — with her patients. Now ACEs is a common topic. “Just as I don’t feel awkward asking someone if they smoke or do intravenous drugs, I don’t really feel awkward talking about their childhood traumas in a way that it relates to their health. It’s just integrated into obtaining background and social history,” she says. Dr. Leslie Dempsey Dempsey is a physician in obstetrics who oversees a team...
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5 Missed Signs of Child Anxiety [PsychCentral.com]
Anxiety in children is obvious, right? Kids would tell you their fears. They would be scared all the time. They might cling to you in new situations. You would know if your child is anxious – wouldn’t you? Unfortunately, anxiety isn’t always that obvious. Some children don’t vocalize their worries. They don’t show their fears. And anxiety isn’t on their parents’ radar. In my child therapy practice parents often bring their children in for other reasons, only to discover that the problem is...
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5 Surprising Ways the Father Wound Harms Women [goodmenproject.com]
I’ve been dealing with the father wound for most of my life. When I was five years old my mid-life father became increasingly depressed because he couldn’t make a living supporting me and my mother. He took an overdose of sleeping pills and was committed to Camarillo State Mental Hospital. Many of us grow up without the presence of a loving, engaged, father in our lives. Some of us lose our fathers through illness, others through divorce, death, distance, or dysfunction. Like most losses,...
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5 Tickets to See Wrestling Ghosts, a New Documentary About Breaking the Cycle of Trauma!
Hi ACEs Parenting Community! Wrestling Ghosts , a new documentary about breaking the cycle of trauma, will be premiering at LA Film Festival on September 27th. The Wrestling Ghosts team wants to give away 5 tickets to the ACEs parenting community. We want the film to promote wellness in the ACEs community, and get watched by folks who would really love it. Tickets are first come, first serve; if you'd like to purchase one after the giveaway, try to get them this week; earlybird tickets are...
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7 Reasons the Past is Keeping You Stuck (www.beatingtrauma.com)
Excerpt from blog by Elisabeth Corey.
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7 Ways to Help a Child Deal with Traumatic Stress
Traumatic stress feels awful. Thankfully, there are small things we can all do to help relax a hyperaroused nervous system.
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8 Health Conditions That Disproportionately Affect Black Women [Self.com]
(Cissy's note: Many of these 8 conditions impact early and across the life span which means impacting our kids or us, as parents, and making parenting with ACEs even more challenging.) Although being black in this world certainly comes with its struggles, I wouldn't trade that integral part of my identity for anything. Black-girl magic is real. But it's a sad fact that black women are often plagued with disproportionately high incidences or mortality rates for various health conditions, like...
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A Brief Overview of Post-Partum Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (mathewsopenaccess.com)
Note: Parenting with ACEs can present us with extra challenges. Being pregnant, giving birth and breastfeeding can all be difficult for many of us. The stresses all parents experience can be compounded depending on our own emotional and physical well-being and the support we have (emotional, financial, family, community). In addition, we might have to consider thing such as going on, staying on or going off of drugs for some period of time during and following pregnancy. We don't talk a lot...
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A Call to Connection: Making Childhood Trauma Personal | Dr. Allison Jackson | TEDxRVA
From: YouTube by TedX Talks: Silence gives consent. Choosing a story of silence raises our chances of mortality rates when ACEs are involved. ACE stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences. If silence is a killer then why do we do nothing? How can community help? Dr. Allison Jackson is a Trauma Informed Care Specialist. She makes a compelling case for, “connection as a cure” to counter a lot of damage done by trauma.
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A Conversation with Nadine Burke Harris: How Should Pediatricians Address Childhood Adversity?
Pediatrician Nadine Burke Harris is a masterful storyteller. I learned in a conversation with her at Wheelock College before her presentation for the Brookline, MA organization Steps to Success , that before she decided to become doctor, Dr. Burke Harris wanted to be an author. Only after the smashing success of her TED talk: How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime , when she was approached by a literary agent, did she find her way to writing. Her newly released book The...
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A Daughter's Letter to Her Alcoholic Father - I Love You and I Hate You
"Why don’t you love me? Why don’t you care enough to care?," writes the high school girl who wrote a letter to her alcoholic father but never mailed it. She asked me to share it on my blogs, instead. It’s the rawness of her hurt, so many years into her life, that drew me to share her letter. Helping children and adults understand the secondhand drinking (SHD) impacts a child experiences when growing up with a parent’s alcoholism* is essential to helping a child (or an adult child) heal from...
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A dietitian's guide to raising a body-positive child. (ksl.com)
Preschool and elementary-age children are more dissatisfied with their bodies than ever before, according to one study . Girls as young as 3 already perceive heaviness as “bad” and thinness as “good,” and more than a third of 5-year-old girls restrict their eating in order to stay thin. So, let’s remember the goal as parents: raise resilient kids in a thin-obsessed culture. Your kids will have negative thoughts about their bodies. Our goal isn’t to prevent that; it’s to help them be...
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A Few Quotes I Love from The Silenced Child by Claudia M. Gold, MD
This book is so good. I am loving reading it and I have already underlined so many parts that I can't wait to read the whole thing to write a book review. I'm going to start sharing some quotes. First, what I love most is the warm and non-clinical tone. It sounds like it is written by a human being and that's appealing. The author writes about parents (and is one) with kindness and care and as a human being. O.k., at only 50 pages in, here are some of the gems so far : "Listening to parents...
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A Landmark Study Has Found Self-Control to be One of the Most Important Predictors of Success – Here’s How to Increase Self-Control In Children (heysigmund.com)
The need for self-control can feel like a tease at times and a bit of a pity, but its influence is spectacularly powerful. A landmark study conducted over three decades has found that the level of self-control children have as five-year olds, is one of the greatest predictors of their health, wealth and success as adults. Knowing how to increase self-control in children can help them on a path that sees them thrive. The Dunedin Multidisciplinary Health and Development Study , a New Zealand...
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A Letter to My Daughter from Your Trauma-Recovering Momma (www.parentingwithptsd.com)
Another beautiful offering from one of our members, @Dawn Daum I worry that my presence and behaviors blindly feed you confusion. How can your mother be so tender at times and yet so distant and cold other times? Why is she ok with snuggling one minute and then the next time you wrap your arms around her, she refuses you and walks away? Your requests for me to just sit with you can be the most challenging moments for me. To sit still and simply embrace unconditional love...
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A New Wave of Caregivers: Men [nytimes.com]
By Courtney E. Martin, The New York Times, September 24, 2019 When you hear the word “caregiver,” what image comes to mind? Most likely it is a woman in her 40s — someone tucking her children in with a phone call to her aging mother before bed. And in fact, this isn’t inaccurate. But did you know that of the 40 million family caregivers in America, nearly half of them are men? According to Jean Accius of AARP, these once invisible men are starting to “come out” publicly. Dr. Accius has...
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A New Year's Message
Happy New Year and forget about old-time resolutions! I’d like to pose something different than loosing weight or getting organized: giving ourselves a gift, the gift of attention. I have a very particular activity to recommend – one that served me very well as I describe in Chapter 5: Coming Our as a Survivor in my book Healing My Life from Incest to Joy: “It came to me one morning as I sat in front of my mirror doing my hair and makeup. I looked into my own eyes and said, “I’m proud of...
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A Reflection of Real Life and the Amazing Influence of People: The Saga of C-PTSD Continues
Cissy Note on Leisa's Amazing Post: This post isn't about parenting, specifically, but it is about C-PTSD which many parents are living with, sorting through and recovering from. I felt so much compassion for and admiration of Leisa reading this. I even felt some compassion for myself. I wonder how many others, while facing our ACEs feel the compassion of others or ourselves? I wonder if anyone, while battling symptoms, feels respected or admired? There can be so much shame. I hope that if...
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A Second Wound: A Survivor's Decision to Cut Ties with Family (www.triggerpointsanthology.com)
This is a beautiful and painful essay to read. Many with one or some ACEs struggle with if, when and how to take space or keep contact with one or more family members. There's no pain-free scenario that I've heard of. Sometimes there's more pain with contact and sometimes, more pain with distance. It's often a journey but not one written much about. Excerpt: I have come a long way. From the fractured child who was silenced when I tried to speak up about my abuse to the whole and healthy...
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A Sherpa Helping Us Scale Mountains of Loss & Fear: The Impact of Sebern Fisher's Work
“You can recover from all that happened to you.” That was the dose of hope I received from Sebern Fisher during a short telephone interview. She is the author of Neurofeedback in the Treatment of Developmental Trauma: Calming the Fear-Driven Brain. Her book is excellent even if you never plan on using neurofeedback. She helps explain why and how developmental trauma devastates and how it is different than single-incident trauma or traditional post-traumatic stress. Honestly – if you read her...
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A Staffer’s Take On The Intersection Of Race, Trauma, And The Summit
Voices for Virginia’s Children held The Virginia Summit on Childhood Trauma and Resilience on April 25, 2019. The Summit featured an array of workshops, including The Intersection of Racial Inequity and Trauma led by The Southside Trauma-Informed Community Network . The presenters identified and discussed the challenges of racial inequities and how trauma may later present within people of color. The supporting organization of the Southside Trauma-Informed Community Network, the Crater...
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Eleanor Scott on Facing her Fear of Abandonment in www.Guardian.com
I love this essay about adult love and childhood abandonment. Maybe we are parenting and helping our children through grief and loss due to death, divorce, desertion or abandonment. Maybe we've been there ourselves. Children often can't or won't verbalize what they are thinking or feeling at the time. Maybe we read it in their body language. Maybe we need to ask. And sometimes it's just wonderful to read about the real lives of complex people doing such as being brave in love. This part...
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Ensuring Young Children Have Healthy Meals During the Coronavirus Pandemic [clasp.org]
By Rebecca Ullrich, CLASP, March 23, 2020 Practically overnight, the coronavirus pandemic has dramatically altered the daily lives of our nation’s children and families. While everyone—regardless of race, age, gender, or socioeconomic status—is experiencing the pandemic’s effects, the long-term fallout won’t affect all of us equally. Families with low incomes, communities of color, immigrant families, women, the elderly, and people with disabilities who have long been economically...
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Erasing My ACES
Why I hid ACES from my medical records in order to receive equal treatment.
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Even Science Agrees, You Literally Can’t Spoil A Baby (www.scarymommy.com) & Commentary
Note: Personal experience and research combined are pretty dang persuasive and compelling. There are lots of people who are still very resistant to attachment parenting and sometimes consider it extreme. I know because when my daughter was first home from China I practiced this style of parenting. Being responsive to her wants and needs and cues was priority number one because she'd been in an environment where her needs weren't always met. However, had I not adopted and learned about...
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Every Woman Was Once a Girl: Why We Need to Talk About the Unique Biological Effects of #ToxicChildhoodStress and #FemaleAdversity on Women’s Bodies and Brains
This is Part Two of my Female Adversity: The Female Body and Brain on Toxic Stress series. (CRUCIAL NOTE HERE BEFORE YOU READ: Boys’ immune systems become dysregulated in response to #toxicstress too, and that leads to disease and changes to the brain that we also need to talk about more openly AND compassionately. Today I’m focusing on girls’ unique immune response to #toxicstress.) So, exactly what happens in a girl’s body, in response to #toxicstress, that leads girls to be more likely to...
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Expectation vs. Reality (www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org)
Excerpts from a post by Lorraine Fuller published on the Attachment Trauma Network (ATN) blog . You don’t have to be fine
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Extra love and support doesn't make up for being a helicopter parent [MedicalXpress.com]
It's time for helicopter parents to land and stay grounded. New research by professors at Brigham Young University revealed that parental warmth cannot neutralize the consequences of helicopter parenting . Additionally, a lack of...
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Familiar With Any Summer Camps or Programs for COAs?
There are some great trauma-sensitive camps and other summer programs that are being planned for children impacted by parental addiction. We’d love to create a list for people who contact us looking for these opportunities, but WE NEED YOU! Let us know about programs available in your area, whether a workshop, weekly meeting, or weekend camp by emailing info or the website URL to nacoa@nacoa.org. We will post this list on our website and social media. Thank you to everyone who provides...
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Families in Limbo: Coronavirus Hobbles Reunifications from Foster Care [chronicleofsocialchange.org]
By Jeremy Loudenback and John Kelly, The Chronicle of Social Change, April 16, 2020 This week was supposed to be a triumphant one for a Northern California mother of two, a 39-year-old home health aide. Soon after a long-scheduled court date at the Sonoma County Hall of Justice this week, she imagined she would soon be able to gather her 1-year-old daughter in her arms at last and end what has been the most terrifying experience of her life: the seven months her toddler has spent in foster...
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Family Anxiety Challenge - Changing the Neural Pathways In Our Brains
I am a therapist who has to make an effort each day to manage my anxiety and negative emotions. Therapists are not usually open about their mental health in our culture; we are looked to as the expert and someone who has it "all together." But I became a therapist for two reasons, to help understand my brain, and to use what I learned to help others. I find that being transparent about my mental health inspires others to share their truths. Human beings are a work in progress. We know this...
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Family First Scholarships for 21st Annual Families and Fathers Conference
21st Annual Families and Fathers National Conference February 24-27, 2020 Hilton Los Angeles Airport 5711 West Century Boulevard Los Angeles, California 90045 I am honored to announce The Family First Scholarship supported by the Annie E. Casey Foundation as a Title Sponsor and State of California First 5 as a Co-Sponsor for the 21 st Annual Families and Fathers Conference, Next Level 2020! the terms "putting family first" and "it takes a village to raise a child" parallels with why we have...
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Family Spirit program aims to help Native parents improve kids’ prospects [minnpost.com]
Everyone loves their children but not everyone understands that the way we care for the youngest among us will have an impact on our society for years to come. With that reality in mind, a new program run by Headway Emotional Health Services , a Twin Cities-based mental health provider for families, aims to improve the parenting skills of at-risk American Indian parents by helping them learn to give their infant-to-preschool-aged children the support they need to be prepared for success...
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Family Triggers: 3 Mindful Techniques To Help You Respond With Skill and Wisdom Instead of Reacting Impulsively (by Robert Oleskevich) (heysigmund.com)
A trigger is a reaction that is more instinctive and immediate, lacking our typical skill or thought, that has ties to our conditioning of the past. At the point our conditioning takes over, our amygdala amps up, which is the little almond in our brain that detects danger and tells our fight or flight reactions to kick in. Our amygdala comes in very handy at times, however, it’s not the best at determining when danger is real or not. So, let’s use three mindful approaches with roots in...
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Father and Son – Two Grown Men Saying Goodbye (upliftconnect.com)
James Blunt wrote and filmed the song for his father who is dying of cancer and does not have long to live. He asked his father to be in the video. The words, ‘You’re not my father, I’m not your son. We’re just two grown men saying goodbye.’ astound me. The spiritual significance in these words is monumental. The dignity and the honour that is imbued in these words is so humbling. I interpret those words as: beyond our assigned Earthly roles of father and son, as equals on this spiritual...