Tagged With "Social-Emotional"
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3 Signs You Have Emotionally Neglectful Parents [blogs.psychcentral.com]
It would be so much easier if emotionally neglectful parents wore a sign on their heads. And although many, if they are more obvious, like narcissistic, authoritarian or addicted parents, may be far easier to identify..., most emotionally neglectful parents are generally well-meaning. They want to be good parents, but they simply do not know what to do. They do not know that they need to validate their children’s emotions, or how to do it. Here’s the most important point: it does not matter...
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7 Ways to Help a Child Deal with Traumatic Stress
Traumatic stress feels awful. Thankfully, there are small things we can all do to help relax a hyperaroused nervous system.
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How to Avoid Being Psychologically Destroyed by Your Newsfeed (blog post)
Excerpt from this blog post, which I wrote earlier today: "This past week has been brutal, in terms of what has been coming across my newsfeed. And 2016 wasn't exactly a picnic either. So lately I've been thinking a lot about the mental health impact of a steady avalanche of Really Bad News. Many of us (myself included) deal with mental health challenges on a daily basis and being fed a steady diet of devastating world events only serves to make that harder. So I've decided to share a few...
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How to Become a Compassionate Parent
There are many benefits to learning how to feel your emotions. One is it helps you become a more compassionate, empathetic parent. The weekend before I flew to Iceland, I pulled my luggage out of our storage room and came across the boxes I’m saving for my girls. These boxes contain all of my daughters’ art, birthday decorations, cards, diaries, etc., from the time they were little girls. It was a family weekend, so we all decided to go through these mementoes together. It was a sweet...
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'They Took My Kid': Rural Docs Help Moms Fight Addiction [medpagetoday.com]
By Ashley Lyles, MedPage Today, November 19, 2019 Patient: I'd gotten pregnant again and I was using through my whole pregnancy, and I didn't receive prenatal care. He was born and he's fine and everything. The [Department of Social Services] let me bring him home. Then a week after I had him, I relapsed really, really bad. Then, I got really messed up and they took my kid. Reporter: The opioid epidemic has taken a toll in rural areas, especially on pregnant women. Doctors and healthcare...
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Weathering the Storms: A Guide to Healthy Expressions of Emotions for Parents and Children from YCCA
Yolo County Children’s Alliance is excited to share Weathering the Storms: A Guide to Healthy Expressions of Emotions for Parents and Children. This resource for parents and caregivers, which we are launching during Child Abuse Prevention Month, discusses how to identify emotions, the importance of empathy, and how to prevent and weather emotional storms. The guide is available in English, Spanish, and Russian at www.yolokids.org/weathering-storms-guide-healthy-expressions-emotions . The...
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What Renee Taught Me About Why Some People Harm Themselves
Why do people cut themselves? Here's a story of my work with Renee and how we helped her find better ways to deal.
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What's Lost When Black Children Are Socialized Into a White World [theatlantic.com]
By Dani McClain, The Atlantic, November 21, 2019 Jessica Black is a Pittsburg, California, mother of two black teenagers, both of whom have been disciplined multiple times at their middle and high schools. Her daughter has been suspended more than once, and teachers often deem her son’s behavior out of line, reprimanding him for not taking off his hoodie in class and for raising his voice. In observing her own family and others, Black has noticed a pattern: Behaviors that many black parents...
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When Hidden Grief Gets Triggered During COVID-19 Confinement
first published by The Meadows 4/15/20 Our sense of loss during the current COVID-19 crisis can trigger hidden emotions from when we experienced a sense of loss before. Whatever early losses you have had in your life — whether they be your own divorce, your parents, or both, or the abandonment of one parent, a childhood or parental illness or death, financial upheaval, constant moving around, or growing up with parental addiction or adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) — they are likely to...
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Social Media May Foster Post-Traumatic Growth in Disasters [psychologytoday.com]
By Grant H. Brenner, Psychology Today, May 9, 2020 The COVID-19 pandemic is a prolonged, global disaster of epic proportions, unlike anything most people have experienced in their lifetimes. Tolerating Ambiguity and Isolation Unlike many disasters, which have a predictable course (see Phases of Disaster, below), pandemics don't fit a clear mold, with no clear end date, high levels of uncertainty about whether there will be ongoing waves of reinfection, unclear paths toward normality, limited...
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Social policies to prevent adversity -- see Open Access link (until July 1) to “A Critical Assessment of the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study at 20 Years”— in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine
The ACEs research by Drs. Felitti, Anda and colleagues focused attention on the important consequences of childhood adversity for adult health. Of course, as many in the resilience-building movement recognize, adversities affect children’s health and life trajectories as well. When we recognize the powerful impacts of harsh life circumstances for children and families, it becomes clearer that social policies to strengthen household and community resources are needed as well as...
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Strengths-Based Parenting Guides from Yolo County Children's Alliance
Yolo County Children’s Alliance (YCCA) parenting guides promote positive parenting skills and strengthen protective factors that have been identified to reduce the likelihood of child abuse and neglect. All three YCCA guides are available in English, Spanish, and Russian on our website: www.yolokids.org/forfamilies . Each guide also has a Conversation Starters for Providers , which can be found at https://www.yolokids.org/providers-guides . Below please find more information about each...
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Tackling Tantrums - Raising Emotionally Agile Kids
Becoming emotionally agile does not happen overnight. Attuned parenting is the key. How we, parents deal with our child's difficult behavior and tantrums plays a big role in our kids developing this skill.
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Resources for Supporting Children's Emotional Well-being during the COVID-19 Pandemic [childtrends.org]
By Jessica Dym Bartlett, Jessica Griffin, Dana Thomson, Child Trends, March 19, 2020 The following guidance, recommendations, and resources are provided by child trauma experts at Child Trends and the Child Trauma Training Center at the University of Massachusetts. The Center is housed at the University of Massachusetts with Child Trends as the lead evaluating agency, with funding from SAMHSA and the National Child Traumatic Stress Network and additional support from HRSA. While the Centers...
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Self Soothing Strategies for Parents and Kids
Learn 4 simple tools for parents and kids to calm down together. About the presenter: Joyelle Brandt is a self care coach for moms. She specializes in working with mothers who are survivors of abuse, to help them develop a personalized self soothing toolkit for stress management. As a speaker, mothering coach, and multi-media creator, Joyelle works to dismantle the stigma that keeps childhood abuse survivors stuck in shame and self-hatred. She is the author of Princess Monsters from A to Z...
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Make Time for Yourself—A Self-Care Guide for Busy Parents from Yolo County Children's Alliance
Yolo County Children’s Alliance is excited to share our new self-care resource for parents and caregivers for Child Abuse Prevention Month. Make Time for Yourself—A Self-Care Guide for Busy Parents talks about the importance of self-care and provides many ideas to try. The guide is available in English, Spanish, and Russian at www.yolokids.org/forfamilies/ . To help parents prioritize self-care, the guide divides specific self-care ideas into those that only take 5 minutes to do and those...
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Make Time for Yourself—A Self-Care Guide for Busy Parents from Yolo County Children's Alliance
Yolo County Children’s Alliance is excited to share our new self-care resource for parents and caregivers for Child Abuse Prevention Month. Make Time for Yourself—A Self-Care Guide for Busy Parents talks about the importance of self-care and provides many ideas to try. The guide is available in English, Spanish, and Russian at www.yolokids.org/forfamilies/ . To help parents prioritize self-care, the guide divides specific self-care ideas into those that only take 5 minutes to do and those...
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The Building Blocks of HOPE – Block #4: Social-Emotional Development
We have been so encouraged to hear how HOPE (Healthy Outcomes from Positive Experiences) is resonating with the ACES Connection community and are thrilled to see our community continue to grow. Here we present the fourth mini-blog in our series on the Building Blocks of HOPE. Children need ample opportunities for productive social and emotional development. Developing social and emotional competencies describes the fourth of the 4 Building Blocks of HOPE . What do we mean by social and...
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The Importance of Positive Emotional Communication Starting From Infancy
“Why do some children become sad, withdrawn, insecure, or angry, whereas others become happy, curious, affectionate, and self-confident?” It has something to do with emotions and emotional communication.
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The Nurtured Parent Revolution: Transforming Trauma through Love, Healing, and Social Justice Activism
Many family courts across the nation routinely fail the most vulnerable in our society: mothers and their children in crisis seeking a life free from abuse. In 2012, the U.S. Department of Justice released the Saunders Report , a study that found the standard and required domestic violence training received by judges, lawyers, and custody evaluators, does not adequately prepare them to handle abuse cases. Inadequately trained professionals tend to believe the myth that mothers frequently...
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Imagine living inside a box buried inside a box buried inside a box...
That's how Dr. Kent Hoffman, Co-Originator of Circle of Security International began his comments about this incredible new resource for parents! See his full statement below. A short six years ago, ChildWise Institute was founded by Intermountain , a nationally-recognized organization specializing in helping and healing children from emotional and mental health disorders. Intermountain are also experts in helping families of distressed children create a nurturing environment of stability...
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Introducing the Full Potential Parenting Podcast!
I'm excited to announce that The Full Potential Parenting Podcast is here! This podcast features short (6-12 min.) segments with stress release techniques that work, offers book reviews of books that have been transformational, informative, or inspiring, introduces concepts critical to any parent of a child who is experiencing big (and confusing) emotions and behaviors, and provides insights about non-pharma approaches to healing. The first few episodes are now available on iTunes here:...
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New Video: This is What It Feels Like When Your Brain is Dysegulated from CPTSD
Everyone’s brain and emotions get dysregulated sometimes, and almost everyone is able to eventually re-regulate. But if you grew up with abuse, neglect or other trauma during childhood, you may get more dysregulated more often, and have a harder time bouncing back, leaving you with a lack of focus and coordination, overblown (or deadened) emotions, and difficulty connecting and communicating appropriately with others. In this video I talk about what dysregulation feels like — if you know...
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Parentification: Growing Up Too Soon
“ We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us - how we can take it, what we do with it - and that is what really counts in the end. How to take the raw stuff of life and make it a thing of worth and beauty - that is the test of living.” Joseph Fort Newton This week in the childhood trauma education series, I will tackle parentification . I discovered so much while researching this topic that explains a lot for me. Have you heard...
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Parentification: Growing Up Too Soon
“ We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us - how we can take it, what we do with it - and that is what really counts in the end. How to take the raw stuff of life and make it a thing of worth and beauty - that is the test of living.” Joseph Fort Newton This week in the childhood trauma education series, I will tackle parentification . I discovered so much while researching this topic that explains a lot for me. Have you heard...
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ACEs & African Americans Community on ACEs Connection
ACEs Connection envisions a resilient world where ALL people thrive. We are an anti-racist organization committed to the pursuit of social justice. In our work to promote resilience and prevent and mitigate ACEs, we intentionally embrace and uplift people who have historically not had a seat at the table. ACEs Connection celebrates the voices and tells the stories of people who have been barred from decision-making and who have shouldered the burden of systemic and economic oppression as the...
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Childhood PTSD and Avoidance: Learning to Be OK in Groups (Resilience Series)
It’s super common for those of us who grew up with abuse and neglect when we were small, to feel as adults that we are on the outside somehow. When we're in groups we feel as if we are only partly in it, and never really included . Or we start as a full participant but pull away over time. We un-include ourselves. But it feel like other people are keeping us out. The telltale sign that being on the outside could be a personal choice, even when it doesn’t feel like it, is that we’re almost...
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CPTSD and Social Awkwardness: Another Source of Isolation
For those of us who grew up with abuse and neglect at home, it can be hard to know how to ACT in social situations. Here's an example.... Have you ever been to a hotel where there is a person who is there to carry your bags, and even though you didn’t ask, they carry your bags to the room and it’s totally awkward, and you think “I’m supposed to give them a tip, right? I’ve, like seen this on TV. But you don’t have cash, and they’re just standing there ," and you think, "What do I do? What do...
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Re: Imagine living inside a box buried inside a box buried inside a box...
I do not know how we approach this.... But WE MUST.... This is what I have to say: When I was in medical school at Michigan, I was ready to commit suicide. Having attendings throw things against the wall was too much for me. There were no books to help people who were really messed up by their parent's except "Toxic Parents" which I read a 1000 Times. I didn't know what to do. I decided to get a parenting book from Barnes and Noble. I read it and I was floored. I didn’t have a clue how...
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Re: How to Become a Compassionate Parent
Thanks for this very concrete and useful post and list! I so appreciate you saying we cant go back to change our parenting but we def can choose today to "create new healthy memories as a family. Today we can begin again!
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Re: How to Become a Compassionate Parent
Svava: This brought a tear to my eye. Thank you for being so honest and hopeful. It must have been painful to hear you weren't there for your daughter, but it sounds like you got a chance to re-parent her in the way you were able to respond. That's so hopeful and realistic because parenting is hard and we often don't know what we don't or didn't know, til later. But it is not too late. Thank you for this. I'm sharing on Facebook, too. Cissy
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Re: Strengths-Based Parenting Guides from Yolo County Children's Alliance
Natalie: Thanks for sharing these resources here. I especially like Weathering the Storms and the tips which are good for parents with kids of all ages! Cis
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Re: Make Time for Yourself—A Self-Care Guide for Busy Parents from Yolo County Children's Alliance
Dear Natalie: This is great. I like the feel, content and tone of the self-care guide for parents a lot. I haven't read the others yet. Thanks for sharing! Cissy
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Virtual Training: Fatherhood Engagement & Social Connections
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Opinion: We Need a Safety Net for Children Experiencing Toxic Stress [calhealthreport.org]
By Jim Hickman, California Health Report, June 8, 2020 We need to invest in the safety-net institutions that serve and support our most vulnerable now and during times of crisis. COVID-19 is decimating our fragile, unfunded and outdated safety net, and the vital links between families and their local economic, health and social supports. The pandemic has made “underlying conditions” the new code phrase for the social and health inequities disproportionately impacting black and brown...
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Seven Steps to Calm an Explosive Child
Are you exhausted by the explosive behaviors of the children you love? First, I want to say I am so proud of you. I know the fatigue and frustration that comes with parenting a child who feels out of control. The fact that you are reading this article means you are looking for support and guidance, and that means you are on your way to helping the children in your life. And believe me, you are probably already doing a better job than you think! Kids need you to show up more than anything!
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A Recipe for Raising Resilient Children - Skills and Factors that Contribute to Resiliency
Suffering is an expected part of this journey because resilience is a muscle that we strengthen over time and experiences. However, developing this muscle is most effective when encouraged by warm, loving, and responsive caregiving.
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On Development and Dreams
By Rebecca Honig, Director of Content & Curriculum This weekend I had an opportunity to listen in to a mixed age conversation about dreams. It was a group of PreK-2nd graders. Under normal circumstances they’d be meeting in person to do projects, play together, learn together. This year, like so many things, they come together over Zoom. Two weekends ago they had gathered to honor the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. with a day of service. This weekend, to build on what...
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Sensory and Emotional Experience: Linked from Birth (Claudia M. Gold, MD)
Katie and Jason came to me at their wits’ end over four-year-old Mabel’s frequent meltdowns. “She’s been like this from birth,” Katie explained at our first visit. She described needing to nurse Mabel as an infant in a dark, quiet room because she was so easily distracted by sights and sounds. When I asked them to tell me about a recent specific moment of disruption, they described a visit to a county fair. Mabel was clearly so hungry that she was falling apart, yet despite the abundance of...
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Parenting for Social Justice: What You Can Do Starting from Birth (ZERO TO THREE)
These suggestions offer some starting points for parents who want their children to develop a just and inclusive worldview. Look at your baby or toddler. They are still learning to eat from a spoon, roll over, stack blocks, walk a few steps, or say their first words. It’s hard to imagine that even in these early years, young children are being shaped by the biases that surround them in the world. This is why parenting for social justice begins at birth. Get started with the following tips.
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How to Help Kids Open Up About Anything (nytimes.com)
By Shanicia Boswell, The New York Times, Oct. 15, 2020 Tips for creating safe spaces and developing emotional intelligence in your children. “Did you learn your lesson?” my mother asked. Those five words have been etched in my mind since I was a teenager. I was a good kid but, between boys and shenanigans with my friends, I was always pushing the boundaries. This time, I had received a speeding ticket for rushing to get home before my curfew. When I told her what had happened, my mother...
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The Mental Health Care Crisis Continues One Year Later...Maintaining Emotional Wellness during the COVID-19 Pandemic
Join Dr. Monique Collier Nickles on 4/13/21 for a live discussion related to this post by registering for ChildWIN's free Zoom event at https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZAudu2qrT8oHtDAlFX5xEMUt2o9DC_qaimN?fbclid=IwAR1GdgppIzcIrMO8meIdCqoG5_mpuNz1jUAUbt6FcfKOVI9rg9X5Xh8EHBY The outbreak of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) has been stressful and traumatic for many people, particularly our children and adolescents. As we approach the pandemic’s one year anniversary, unfortunately,...
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Big Heart World Parent and Caregiver Guides
Each month of the Big Heart World initiative , we will share a guide for parents and caregivers. The guide will introduce the the big idea of the unit, provide an overview of the resources that are available, and suggest ideas for how parents and caregivers can use the Big Heart World’s resources to support their children’s social and emotional learning. Feel free to print and share! August's guide is on Empathy . Past guides have covered the following themes: Friendship Similarities and...