Tagged With "Mother-infant bond"
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Father's Day for the Rest of Us
How do you manage Father's Day as an adult? How did everyone do on Father's Day? It's one of those holidays that can be so complicated for many of us. Maybe there's angst, anger or ambivalence? Maybe there's appreciation too. I wrote about how it has shifted for me since I found that my father died. I didn't expect to feel so much relief. I love having a dead dad. For the first time in my life I know where he is on Father’s Day. He is not homeless, alcoholic, absent or violent. He is no...
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Great Basic Parenting Tips & Why I Have Such a Hard Time Sharing Them
At least once a week I struggle about what to share here. This is my most recent example. It's a series of tips on the U.S. Department of Education . These are great hand-outs with comprehensive information about child development that's not too long, abstract or hard to read. Here's the list (also attached below). I especially like the flyer for talking about feelings which has the tag line "Talking is teaching." And the short summary of milestones at different ages and stages from birth to...
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Greatest Mother’s Day Gift
Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. I have been given the greatest gift a mother could ask, my daughter- back. Last year a month before Mother’s Day I began a heart wrenching journey. My oldest daughter was in a serious car accident. She suffered a traumatic brain injury, broken neck, broken back, broken foot, but she was alive. She was a single mom. I became the guardian of my toddler grandson. I wasn’t prepared to become a mother in that way again. I was prepared to be a doting, spoiling...
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Happy Mother's Day! Remembering The Greatest Generation of Moms...
“I waited.
And waited…
And then…I waited some more.”
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Helping Children in Emergencies: Keep Your Child’s Developmental Stage and Temperament in Mind
By Karissa Luckett, RN, BSN, MSW Common reactions to stress will fade over time for most children. Let’s be honest: Your exploring, tactile toddler won’t suddenly start keeping their hands to themselves. Your continually forgetful preschooler won’t suddenly start hand-washing properly just because you’ve told them it’s important. Depending on their ages, stages and temperaments, some children will require more reassurance or more time to shift than others. This situation is unique, and so is...
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Watching My Daughter Develop the Same Anxiety I Struggle With [thecut.com]
"It is relatively early on a summer evening, just after sunset. From my bed, I notice a shadow of a spindly branch dancing across the corner of the bedroom wall. I get up and close the curtains tightly to make it disappear, careful not to step on my daughter, who’s camped on my bedroom floor, lying stiffly under the weighted anxiety blanket I’d made her. I don’t mind the shadow, but I know it will make it impossible for her to fall asleep. This is the fourth night in a row she’s spent here.
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When a Mother Loves an Alcoholic - Parenting With ACEs
I was such a mother. I was also the daughter of an alcoholic. My mom died earlier this year. When a mother loves an alcoholic or is raised by an alcoholic, she is changed in profound ways - ways she has no idea are even present, yet ways that make her a confounding figure in her children's lives. At the root of these "ways" is her adverse childhood experiences. As I shared recently in my post, The Legacy of Untreated Secondhand Drinking ACEs , "[My] Mom and I talked about my realization that...
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Spokane, WA, public health nurses create trauma-sensitive toolkit for parents/caregivers
Public health nurses at Spokane Regional Health District (SRHD) developed a 178-page toolkit -- 1*2*3 Care -- for caregivers of children. They define caregivers as parents, g randparents, child care providers, teachers, and others who care...
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System Changes Could Improve Relationships between Incarcerated Mothers and Their Children [chapinhall.org]
By Amy Dworsky, Colleen Schlecht, Gina Fedock, et al., Chapin Hall at the University of Chicago, March 2020 The dramatic increase in the number of women in state and federal prisons in recent decades has led to calls for gender-responsive policies and practices that address the needs and circumstances of incarcerated women and recognize the central role that motherhood plays in many incarcerated women’s lives. This brief describes the results of a project undertaken by researchers from...
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Taming the Dragons: Helping Children Cope: Ages Birth to Twelve Years
Taming the Dragons is a training manual for parents, foster parents, and kinship caregivers. It was developed out of a crisis nursery in WA state by Sue Delucchi. English and Spanish versions attached here for free downloads.
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Rise TIPS: For Parents in Crisis (www.risemagazine.org) & Commentary
Note: This handout was developed with, for and by parents in the child welfare system. However, it's got great content for all parents. For example, the article "Fight or Flight: Coping When Visits Stir Up Reminders of Trauma" is excellent. Lots of us parenting with ACEs have had the shameful experience of being triggered by our children. It can feel horrible. However, it's something we rarely admit, talk about or find addressed anywhere. Part of the problem is that much of the stuff written...
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Making the Case for Paid Family Leave [ChildTrends.org]
As I move full steam ahead into my 30s, friends all around are beginning to start families and have babies. Watching them go through pregnancies is exciting, observing them as they bond with babies is special, and experiencing them letting me bond with their babies is something I have no words for sometimes. This past weekend I visited a friend in the hospital and snuggled her 28-hour-old little one. It was mesmerizing. Yet one thing that is not fun to watch them do is try...
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Mom's Behavior Affects Bonding Hormone Oxytocin in Babies [psychcentral.com]
By Traci Pederson, PsychCentral, November 1, 2019 Research has shown that a new mom’s oxytocin levels can influence her behavior, and as a result, the bond she makes with her baby. Now a new epigenetic study suggests that a mom’s behavior can also have a substantial impact on her child’s developing oxytocin system. Oxytocin is a vital hormone involved in social interaction and bonding in humans. It strengthens trust and closeness in relationships and can be triggered by eye contact, empathy...
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Mothering at the Edge
Life has been so sweet of late and that, for me, has been emotional. I feel a mixture of joy and disbelief. This time of mothering a teen as a parent with ACEs. I sit the edge of my bed sorting socks and memories. A middle-aged mother in so many kinds of transition. Some mornings, I hear her feet soft on carpeted stairs, see her long hair rolling down her back almost touching the hips. I remember when she did not have hips. The years I gathered her up each morning, carrying her down the...
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The Healing Place Podcast - Kelly McDaniel: Mother Hunger & Early Attachment Injuries
In her practice, Kelly McDaniel, LPC, NCC, CSAT, author and psychotherapist, offers Individual Intensives for women living with the generational legacy of Mother Hunger. Kelly works carefully and confidentially with clients as they navigate the tender, primitive wound that comes from an early broken heart.
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The Key To Good Enough Parenting - Repair The Rupture
Good enough parenting is about repairing relationship ruptures with your child. Reach out, discuss, reconnect - repair the rupture to avoid later problems
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The many faces — and aspirations — of all of us at ACEs Connection
All of us at ACEs Connection have experienced ACEs during our childhoods, either in our own families or vicariously through friends; some of us accumulated pretty high ACE scores, with not enough resilience factors, and we’ve suffered the consequences. That history propels us up and out of bed every single morning to grow this network of amazing people (that’s you!) to reach even more people so that kids don’t have to repeat what we went through. We want more of our taxes to go to such...
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The Relentless School Nurse: Candida Rodriguez is Creating Community Through the Power of Conversations That Matter
Candida Rodriguez is my mentor, while she may disagree with that statement and say it is the opposite, it is the absolute truth. My respect, admiration, and amazement at the depth of her knowledge, talent, and compassion astound me every time we work together. Candida serves her complex and ever-changing community with dedication, skill and a relentless pursuit of coordinating care for her students and families. We are partners in the Community Cafe Initiative that began in 2015 after I...
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Introducing myself: Cissy White, parent with ACEs who’s parenting with ACEs (and who’s the Parenting with ACEs group's new group manager!)
I learned about the CDC-Kaiser Permanente ACE Study and 10- questionnaire survey only two years ago, and it’s fair to say I’ve been obsessed with it ever since. I’m a mother, a trauma survivor, an activist and a writer. For years, I’ve written personal essays , profile pieces and a few research-style papers about post-traumatic stress disorder, developmental trauma and interpersonal violence. Yet, something was missing. In my own recovery, I’d often say, in therapy and to friends and lovers,...
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WHY FAMILY SUPPORT MATTERS? (Its Importance for Strengthening Resilience from Adverse Childhood Experiences-ACEs)
Graduation day - a picture of my mother and me after I received my Bachelor of Arts degree in Criminal Justice (Corrections) studies from Kent State University in June 1977. This was seven years after that fateful summer of 1970 when my mother and I realized that our family needed some help. When I look back at that time, I marvel at the love of GOD and the love from both parents as they began to realize that the harmful consequences of their domestic violence squabbles and of my father’s...
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Young Parents Speak Out: Barriers, Bias, and Broken Systems [aecf.org]
By National Crittenton and Katcher Consulting, Annie E. Casey Foundation, March 2020 Founded in 1883 as a social justice advocacy organization, National Crittenton has been dedicated to the needs and potential of girls, young women and women facing violence, poverty and injustice across the country for more than a century. Additionally, National Crittenton convenes the 26 Yet, systems have turned a blind eye to the ways in which the “safety net” designed for adults is a “trap” for young...
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New fathers may undergo hormonal, neural and behavioural changes (horizon.scienceblog.com)
Fathers’ hormone levels and brain activity may change when they spend time with their children, helping them adapt to parenthood in a way that has been overlooked until now, according to Professor Marian Bakermans-Kranenburg, who studies children and family relations at Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam and was until recently at Leiden University in the Netherlands. She is conducting a series of studies with new fathers, to investigate the role that hormones can play in how they bond with their...
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Paid Paternity Leave = Good Policy = Good Business [www.eenaduindia.com]
Kudos to Johnson and Johnson in India! The company has rolled out an e ight-week paternity leave for new and adoptive fathers during the first year. This move is taken to strengthen the bond between the child and the father. For the last six years in the company, 26 weeks of maternity leave for new mothers was already in force. ...“We think that leaves which encourage employees to be with their families can benefit organisations. They can be excellent motivational factors, i ncrease...
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Parenting Matters: Supporting Parents of Children Ages 0-8 (The National Academies Press 2016)
A study published by The National Academies of Sciences in 2016 resulting in 10 Recommendations to build support for parents... "Over the past several decades, researchers have identified parenting- related knowledge, attitudes, and practices that are associated with improved developmental outcomes for children and around which parenting- related programs, policies, and messaging initiatives can be designed. However, consensus is lacking on the elements of parenting that are most important...
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ACE Member Discount 18th Annual Families and Fathers National Conference Limited
I am sharing a 20% discount and that U.S. OCSE as well as trauma experts are actively participating with a special series on March 1st at the 18th Annual Families & Fathers National Conference, "Never Giving Up - Breakthrough 2017", will be hosted by Fathers & Families Coalition of America from February 27 - March 3, 2017 in Los Angeles, CA. Early Bird Registration is now open with full event, two-day or one-day options for individuals to customize their training. The focus of this...
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ACE Testing During Pregnancy Is The Missing Link
Pregnancy is often welcomed with joy and hope however, many challenges and distress may still occur during a mother’s pregnancy. Any concerns simple or complex may impact the wellness of the mother, her baby and cause stress on her multiple relationships. Oftentimes, mothers have to face planned or unplanned life changing events.
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Addressing Trauma and Building Resiliency as Comprehensive Disaster Planning and Response
The attached memo is intended to make observations about communities affected by disaster-related trauma, and to offer recommendations for trauma-informed recovery. Community examples provide case studies or models for other communities grappling with similar issues. Suggested resources and tools provide communities with support for accelerated action. Memo authors represent active cross sector networks that contribute to resilient community infrastructure development, awareness building,...
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Adoption: Broken Bonds (www.risemagazine.org)
Across the country, roughly 50,000 children are adopted from foster care each year. They are expected to detach from their families and start over with new ones. Their mothers and fathers, stripped of parental rights, are told to let go and move on, unsure of whether they will see their children again. Adoption can be in the best interest of many children, but experience and research show that it’s not the right option for all children. The trauma caused by separation, the tug of war between...
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BBC News: Third of mothers' experience mental health issues
More than a third of mothers have experienced mental health issues related to parenthood, according to an online survey of 1,800 British parents by the BBC Radio 5 live and YouGov. The study revealed that, in comparison, 17% of fathers had experienced similar issues. More than two-thirds of the affected mothers sought professional help - suffering from conditions such as acute stress, severe anxiety and postpartum depression. 'All mums feel like that' Lauren Doyle experienced post-traumatic...
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Dr. Claudia Gold: Empathy & Listening as ACE-Informed Practice
"You are absolutely not doomed from having ACEs."
Comment
Re: When a Mother Loves an Alcoholic - Parenting With ACEs
Lisa: This is beautiful and honest and hopeful. And you make me think, as your writing always does, about some of the impacts I don't always think about in my own life or in my own mothering. THANK you!!! Please keep sharing. I started to highlight the lines I loved but there were too many. Cissy
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The Story of One Nursing Mother Shows How America Treats Its Essential Workers [slate.com]
By Rebekah Diamond and William D. Lopez, Slate, May 28, 2020 On Monday, the Washington Post reported that cases of coronavirus infections among front-line workers in the food processing industry continue to surge. As the Post noted, the number of workers who have died from COVID-19 across the country has at least tripled, while the number who have been infected at three of the country’s largest meat processing companies—Tyson Foods, Smithfield Foods, and JBS—in the past month has increased...
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Maternal Mental Health
Like many of you, I’m a bit out of sorts and somewhat disoriented right now. Our collective mental health is deteriorating during Covid-19. Recent stats report an increase from 20-40% of adults struggling with mental illness since the advent of the pandemic. Maternal mental health is particularly at risk. Helping children with distance learning, navigating exposure to the news, trying to keep life a bit “normal”, keeping family members fed and supplied, juggling career and income loss, all...
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Treating trauma early to help children cope down the line [pbs.org]
By Cat Wise and Rachel Wellford, Public Broadcasting Service, December 17, 2020 Cat Wise: It's a Friday morning, and Eamani Williams is getting her son Sha'quan and daughter Amara off to preschool. Raised by a single mother, Eamani says her childhood was sometimes tough. Now a 22-year-old single mom herself, Eamani realized there was a lot she didn't know when her son was born four years ago. Was it tough being a new mom? Eamani Williams: Honestly, it was. That pregnancy wasn't planned. I...
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SCHOLARSHIP OPPORTUNITY FOR SINGLE MOTHERS. ONE $500 Soroptimist Touch of Health Awards.
Touch of Health’s annual scholarship for single mothers with many children In today’s world, it is much easier to have a great income when you have an education degree. In addition, secondary and tertiary education increases the educational attainment of each person being educated, which is good for society. However, because of the need to spend on more necessary things (like taking care of their loved ones’ lives), not everyone can increase their education. Because of this, Touch of Health...
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These Mothers Were Exhausted, So They Met on a Field to Scream (nytimes.com)
By Alyssa Lukpat, Photo: Alice Rouse, The New York Times, Jan. 23, 2022 The pandemic has been relentless for mothers, many of whom have been stuck in an endless cycle of work and child care. Some Massachusetts mothers gathered to do something about it. In Boston, many mothers were exhausted. The pandemic had been so draining that they wanted to scream. But they had to hold it in because they had children to raise, careers to build and chores to finish. For nearly two years, they have been...
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Attachment Trauma: The Unique Impact of ACEs in Infancy
"Attachment Trauma is the severe disruption or dysfunction of the infant-maternal bond. This can result from stress and dysfunction in the family, mental health problems in the mother, and/or extended separation from the mother. These are traumatic experiences regardless of when they occur during childhood. However, when they occur during the first 2 years of life they have a uniquely damaging impact, leading to Attachment Trauma." Originally posted at CPTSDFoundation.org: ...
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“What Happened to You?” by Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey: a book that resonates with us in the PACEs world
What do PACEs Connection and “What Happened to You?”, the new book by Oprah Winfrey and Bruce Perry, have in common? Almost everything. That’s my conclusion after I finished listening to the book on Audible and re-reading parts of it on Kindle. In the book, Winfrey, a w orld-class connector, journalist, entertainer, author, thought leader, actor, and philanthropist, teams up with her longtime friend Perry, a child psychiatrist, neuroscientist and principal of the neurosequential model of...
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Amazing Infographic on ACEs, Spanking, and the Benefits of Positive Parenting
Putting the pieces together! Join an upstream approach to ending violence against children! This is an ACEs & Spanking INFOGRAPHIC that helps parents understand the connection between ACEs and the importance of not spanking and instead, using positive parenting techniques. For a free webinar series to support parents: https://stopspanking.org More information on ACEs, Spanking, and Positive Parenting: https://stopspanking.org/aces/
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Normalizing Men as Caregivers Helps Families and Society (rwjf.org)
When we imagine a caregiver, we often picture a woman: a mother caring for young children, spouse, and the daily household chores, a daughter nursing a father with disabilities, or a female child care provider. Historically, women have been expected to serve as primary providers of “caretaking” work, whether it’s parenting or caring for an aging family member or paid work in positions typically associated with women such as child-care providers, nurses, or health aide. Alternativley, men are...
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Mental Health and the Single Parent (mhanational.org)
This article from Mental Health America discusses common stressors faced by single parents. Single-parent families are increasingly common in the United States – some start that way, while others come about after divorce, death, or incarceration. Sometimes one parent’s job requires them to travel often or for extended periods, making their partner effectively a single parent at times. There are many types of single-parent families, headed by a biological parent, grandparent, foster or...