Tagged With "Healthy Blue"
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A Reflection of Real Life and the Amazing Influence of People: The Saga of C-PTSD Continues
Cissy Note on Leisa's Amazing Post: This post isn't about parenting, specifically, but it is about C-PTSD which many parents are living with, sorting through and recovering from. I felt so much compassion for and admiration of Leisa reading this. I even felt some compassion for myself. I wonder how many others, while facing our ACEs feel the compassion of others or ourselves? I wonder if anyone, while battling symptoms, feels respected or admired? There can be so much shame. I hope that if...
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Father's Day for the Rest of Us
How do you manage Father's Day as an adult? How did everyone do on Father's Day? It's one of those holidays that can be so complicated for many of us. Maybe there's angst, anger or ambivalence? Maybe there's appreciation too. I wrote about how it has shifted for me since I found that my father died. I didn't expect to feel so much relief. I love having a dead dad. For the first time in my life I know where he is on Father’s Day. He is not homeless, alcoholic, absent or violent. He is no...
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Gathering in Topeka, Kansas for the Educators’ Art of Facilitation Chapter III
I never believed that a man who abuses anyone physically, emotionally or verbally is simply a monster.That's too simple.There is a reason why men do what they do, and don't do and in order to help men and women to not be hurtful to themselves or others we must as I said in my last post ”help them heal.” We must advocate for a world in which we don't punish, we transform. I have always believed this on many issues, from domestic violence to drug addiction to other acts of criminality. We...
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Hijacked by PTSD (www.parentingwithPTSD.com)
This was written by Joyelle Brandt. She is one of the co-editors of the Trigger Points Anthology which is being expanded and re-branded under the name Parenting with PTSD in June. Joyelle and co-editor Dawn (member of this group), will be joining us for a Parenting with PTSD & ACEs chat on June 13th. We'll get to talk more about their website, book, parenting and lives. Anxiety hijacked my day today. It showed up out of the blue this morning, this frantic, anxious feeling that hounded me...
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Vacancy: Self-Worth in the Mind of a Childhood Abuse Survivor
The feeling of having a healthy supply of self-worth is something I can only imagine might have been more readily available, natural and automatic if I was able to see that in myself as a child. As an adult survivor of childhood abuse, self-worth was not supplied in healthy doses while growing up.
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Weathering the Storms: A Guide to Healthy Expressions of Emotions for Parents and Children from YCCA
Yolo County Children’s Alliance is excited to share Weathering the Storms: A Guide to Healthy Expressions of Emotions for Parents and Children. This resource for parents and caregivers, which we are launching during Child Abuse Prevention Month, discusses how to identify emotions, the importance of empathy, and how to prevent and weather emotional storms. The guide is available in English, Spanish, and Russian at www.yolokids.org/weathering-storms-guide-healthy-expressions-emotions . The...
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Webinar Slides and Recording: Building Resilient Communities with Elaine Miller-Karas
Recorded live August 8, 2019. Find the slides attached below. The 1 hour video recording can be found on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/BUyY0FMjv8s Speaker: Elaine Miller-Karas, MSW, LCSW, Executive Director and Co-founder, Trauma Resource Institute. Host: Carey Sipp, Southeast Community Facilitator, ACEs Connection. Webinar Description: This webinar will explore integrating a biological based model to reduce the impacts of toxic stress for children and adults. It is a model both for...
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What Survivors of Complex Trauma Want You to Know [marieclaire.com.au]
By Grace Back, Marie Claire, October 28, 2019 The 28th of October marks the tenth anniversary of Blue Knot Day, established by the Blue Knot Foundation to raise awareness of the more than five million adult survivors of complex trauma. This year's theme was: untangle the knot of complex trauma. Blue Knot Foundation President Dr Cathy Kezelman AM said Blue Knot Day was about uniting Australians to help untangle the knot and complexities of trauma and abuse to support the recovery, resilience...
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Spokane, WA, public health nurses create trauma-sensitive toolkit for parents/caregivers
Public health nurses at Spokane Regional Health District (SRHD) developed a 178-page toolkit -- 1*2*3 Care -- for caregivers of children. They define caregivers as parents, g randparents, child care providers, teachers, and others who care...
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Strengthening Families: Increasing positive outcomes for children and families [www.cssp.org]
We engage families, programs, and communities in building key protective factors. Children are more likely to thrive when their families have the support they need. By focusing on the five universal family strengths identified in the Strengthening Families Protective Factors Framework , community leaders and service providers can better engage, support, and partner with parents in order to achieve the best outcomes for kids. How We Do It The Strengthening Families framework is a...
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Taming the Dragons: Helping Children Cope: Ages Birth to Twelve Years
Taming the Dragons is a training manual for parents, foster parents, and kinship caregivers. It was developed out of a crisis nursery in WA state by Sue Delucchi. English and Spanish versions attached here for free downloads.
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Registration Open - 2019 Families and Fathers Conference Early Rate and Hotel Discount Closing Please Share
In forty-eight days, we open our 20th convening of a powerful conference focused on strengthening families, improving outcomes for children, and strategies to engage families. The 20th Annual Families and Fathers Conference hosted by Fathers and Families Coalition of America Sponsorships allow the extended early rate for an exceptional experience in Los Angeles, California from March 4th (pre-conference institute credential) through the main conference dates of March 5th - 7th. Please share...
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Rise TIPS: For Parents in Crisis (www.risemagazine.org) & Commentary
Note: This handout was developed with, for and by parents in the child welfare system. However, it's got great content for all parents. For example, the article "Fight or Flight: Coping When Visits Stir Up Reminders of Trauma" is excellent. Lots of us parenting with ACEs have had the shameful experience of being triggered by our children. It can feel horrible. However, it's something we rarely admit, talk about or find addressed anywhere. Part of the problem is that much of the stuff written...
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Rwanda's Plan to Reduce Poverty by Harnessing Father's Love [qz.com]
By Annabelle Timsit, Quartz Africa, October 8, 2019 Like many three-and-a-half year olds, Odille Igirimbabazi loves to sing and dance. On a recent morning in her home, wearing her favorite blue and yellow dress and clutching a doll that her dad, James, made for her, she sings religious songs and sways energetically as James watches, claps, and smiles, tapping his feet. When she finishes, he scoops her up into his arms to tell her how proud he is. “Bravo!” If this seems a common family scene,...
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Loving a Trauma Survivor: Understanding Childhood Trauma’s Impact On Relationships (www.brickelandassociates.com)
Note: I saw this article by Robyn E. Brickel, MA, LMFT on my Facebook newsfeed today. Times have changed! How great to find resources more readily available. Many of us are not only trauma survivor parents but we are related to, in love with or partnering with adults who are as well. This is a helpful resource to help us better understand our/their sometimes fearful and withdrawing reactions. I'm also sharing that I got an email from someone at 2 a.m. last night who said that research...
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The Healing Place Podcast: Barbara Rubel, MA, BCETS, D.A.A.E.T.S. - How to Help Suicide Loss Survivors & the Traumatic Impact of Suicide
Barbara Rubel is a suicide loss survivor and leading thanatologist. Thanatology is the scientific study of death. As a thanatologist, Barbara Rubel specializes in suicide loss survivor grief and educating professionals about traumatic loss. The third updated and revised edition of her book, But I Didn’t Say Goodbye: Helping families after a suicide, just launched on Amazon.
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How to Support Someone (Like Me!) Who Has Experienced Trauma
This blog post and infographic is dedicated to the wonderful man (too shy to want to be named) who has had the patience and sheer tenacity to stick around for six years while we have figured out what I needed as a trauma survivor to be able to tolerate a relationship with a romantic partner. (And for him to tolerate me!) If you didn't have a safe, stable nurturing relationship with your primary caregiver as a child, you need and yearn for that kind of connection as you go through life. And...
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When Your Kid is Too Good for Brené Brown
Childhood, like literature, lasts." Lance Woolaver, paraphrased from his book, Maud Lewis: The Heart at the Door. Even in the midst of conflict, I have known moments of maternal bliss. I had one just recently when my daughter and I hit a snag. It wasn't one of the ugly, awful or prolonged kinds. That's not due to me though. That's mostly because my kid has a practical, logical and rational nature which does not clash with my more emotional, reactive and fearful one. We are alike enough to...
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Wired To Be A Dad: Recent Science Fuels A New View Of Fatherhood [WBUR.org]
Charles Clayton Daniels Jr. was a "love child," he says, and his father dropped by randomly when he was a little boy. “Man, it was some of the happiest moments of my life,” he recalls. “I would literally wait by the door and when I saw his blue pickup truck arrive, I would be so happy I’d try to hug him before he came into the house.” But those drop-ins became less and less frequent. And when Charles Jr. was 10, his father stopped coming. Flash forward a decade. Daniels is in college --...
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Parenting Matters: Supporting Parents of Children Ages 0-8 (The National Academies Press 2016)
A study published by The National Academies of Sciences in 2016 resulting in 10 Recommendations to build support for parents... "Over the past several decades, researchers have identified parenting- related knowledge, attitudes, and practices that are associated with improved developmental outcomes for children and around which parenting- related programs, policies, and messaging initiatives can be designed. However, consensus is lacking on the elements of parenting that are most important...
Comment
Re: Poor Parenting Can Be Passed From Generation to Generation: Study (www.nbcnews.com)
Krys: The article I read and excerpted from is linked (at the start of the blog post in the light blue). Cissy
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ACEs Science Champion Series: Dr. Angela Bymaster: This Faith-Based Physician Integrates ACEs Science with Healing Arts
Dr. Angela Bymaster, a family physician at Washington Elementary School in San Jose, CA, operates her clinic in a portable unit on the school property.
Because the unit faces students as they are dropped off by their families, she gets to “pick up the kids” before they are sent to the clinic, practicing “upstream medicine.”
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Beyond Trauma: Building Resilience to ACEs (brochure)
Wish you had a fairly easy and short way to share all about ACEs? Wish it was in-depth enough to share with teachers, doctors, nurses and therapists but not so long or jargony it puts family and friends to sleep? Here's the perfect thing to share when you've been all up in the faces with ACEs and want to back up your words before, during or after. This brochure is comprehensive but not so long that it remains in the "I'll get to it later," pile. Please feel free to print, forward, download...
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Divorce During Christmas
My home was flooded just weeks before my divorce was final. The ocean spilled over the sea wall and headed down the street carrying telephone poles, patio furniture and boat parts. It was 2 a.m. and I was in my bedroom with the cat as my daughter was with her father on one of her first overnights. I was knee deep in despair. And fear. The ocean pooled around my stairs, foundations and car. Outside, the flood would take my blue Subaru, dog fence and air conditioner. Inside, it was thr heating...
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Becoming Your Healthiest Self: An Eat-Well, Get-Fit, Feel-Great Guide for Teens [jamanetwork.com]
By Michelle Cardell, Aaron S. Kelly, and Lindsay A. Thompson, JAMA Pediatrics, May 26, 2020 Parents, empower your adolescents so they can make choices that promote their healthiest self. Teens, getting older means making decisions about what matters to you most. Making healthy choices is a great place to start. Taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health is what makes it possible for you to do all the things you want to do. Fuel Up You are in charge of what you eat and drink.
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Unbecoming an Armadillo: Recovering from Trauma with EMDR
Unbecoming an Armadillo By: Victoria F. Burns, PhD, LSW Victoriafrances49@gmail.com Instagram: @betesandbites “When you are traumatized, you are basically in a permanent defensive mode” — Gabor Mate I’m sitting across from Meg on her charcoal grey love seat. My forearms are resting on a velvety mustard-yellow throw cushion and I’m holding crescent shaped pulsers in each hand. Meg’s my psychologist; a rare gem who specializes in chronic illness and trauma. Every two weeks, we spend an hour...
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This wasn't the first time
Going out to buy groceries, going out for a walk, driving your kid back home from school. For most people these activities are normal, everyday things with little to no excitement, as they should be. Unfortunately, getting food, exercising, and supporting my son’s education have been a little more out of the ordinary for me. You see, I am a Mexican Indigenous man, brown skin, shaved head. My ethnicity and physical appearance are by no means unusual, especially in the part of the country...
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The Role of Culture on Teens' Beliefs About Dating Explored in New Video Games
Announcing the winning video games designed to explore the role of culture on teens' beliefs about healthy dating relationships.
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For Survivors of Childhood Trauma: How To Find REAL LOVE
For people who were abused and neglected in childhood, one of the cruelest ways the damage shows up is in romantic relationships. Too many of us go through life either alone, or in relationships where we’re not loved, not safe, and not happy. It doesn’t have to be that way. If you have Childhood PTSD and you’re wondering why you keep attracting people who are either dysfunctional, unavailable or abusive -- you’re going to want to read this... READ FULL BLOG POST or.. WATCH THE VIDEO ON...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2021
Hi Folks, The latest edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php Once again I've tried to create a mix of articles, videos, music, books, podcasts, resources, etc, that offer Hope, Healing & Help. As the saying goes, “ Take what you like and leave the rest. ” or here's the PDF - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2021-04-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_April_2021.pdf To sign up for an e-mail copy, please...
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Pop-Up Workshop: Affirmation Hour
I am excited to announce a special edition, free pop-up workshop for July! Register for Affirmation Hour by clicking here . Everyone will find something for them during Affirmation Hour - show up as you are, and bring your children if you'd like! Please invite other folks to join us for this meaningful time together. July 22nd at 11am PT/2pm ET. Visit Rise to Resilience for more information and events. Image description: a gray background with bright blue text that reads POP UP WORKSHOP...
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Stress Health website (www.stresshealth.org)
Research shows that the right kind of support and care can mitigate the impact of toxic stress in children and help them bounce back. The Stress Health website from the Center for Youth Wellness shares many ways that parents can support a healthy stress response: sleep, nutrition, exercise, mental health, mindfulness and healthy relationships. These things help to decrease our stress hormones and inflammation for healthier brains and bodies. Stress Health is about learning how the stress...
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Easy Tricks to Improve your Relationship with the Child
How often do we hug children or express our love? How to improve relationships with children, to be not just a parent, but also a trusted friend, with whom they feel real closeness? Why relationships are deteriorating When children are very young, up to three years old, they very much feel the emotional state of their mother. If she is tired, irritated, or anxious, the child will be naughty too. Also, at this time, mothers are trying to wean the babies from their hands, and the children do...
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The Rise of Black Homeschooling [newyorker.com]
By Casey Parks, The New Yorker, June 14, 2021 W hen Victoria Bradley was in fifth grade, she started asking her mother, Bernita, to homeschool her. Bernita wasn’t sure where the idea came from—they never saw homeschooling on TV. But something always seemed to be going wrong at school for Victoria. In second grade, a teacher lost track of her during parent pickup, and she wandered off school grounds. Bernita went to see the principal, intent on getting the teacher fired. The principal asked...
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The Secret to Raising a Resilient Kid (NY Times)
By Erik Vance, NY Times, Sept. 1, 2021 The ability to bounce back is more important now than ever; here’s how to impart it. In my early teens, my dad took myself, my best friend and our neighbor on a grueling backpacking trip connecting California’s Yosemite Valley to Half Dome to nearby Clouds Rest mountain and back again. By the second day — halfway up Clouds Rest, on wobbly legs and besieged by mosquitoes — we finally mutinied. The three of us made it clear to my father that we were done.
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How to Help a Kid Stop Lying and Tell the Truth: 9 Steps
Being a parent comes with sacrifices, but also with challenges. As children grow up, they begin to understand the world. And so, lying can appear as a regular behavior. I have two children, aged 10 and 14. I can say that lying was a big problem in our family during their childhood. For example, they lied they brushed their teeth. And of course, you can easily say if they brushed their teeth or not. Honesty is an important quality that helps build stronger relationships and bonds between...
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A Solution to the Desperate Need to Belong
As humans, we have a basic, primal need to belong. Belonging is defined as ‘the feeling of security and support when there is a sense of acceptance, inclusion, and identity for a member of a certain group . It is when an individual can bring their authentic self to others, including friendships, family and work.’ Feeling disconnected, unimportant, or not cared about can translate into feelings of loneliness. This has led to much of the suffering our society is experiencing today. Cigna...
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Check out PACEs Connection's new Resource Center!
We did a massive overhaul of our Resource Center . Why it matters : You can find articles, research, reports about PACEs science, practice and policy MUCH more easily. Why we did it : The structure of the old Resource Center wasn't working very well, the content was out-of-date, and useful information was difficult to find. How we did it: With the old Resource Center, we were pretty much trying to fit a square peg into a round hole—we adapted a community page on our social network platform...
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‘Blue’ suburban moms are mobilizing to counter conservatives in fights over masks, book bans and diversity education [washingtonpost.com]
By Annie Gowen, Photo: Maddie McGarvey/The Washington Post, The Washington Post, February 9, 2022 Dozens of suburban moms from around the country dialed into an Ohio-based Zoom training session last month with the same goal — to learn how to combat the increasingly vitriolic rhetoric from parents whose protests over mask mandates and diversity education have turned school board meeting rooms into battlegrounds. The lessons: Show up at meetings with fact-based speeches ready and create text...
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To my son, born during the climate crisis: Get mad and get ready [cnn.com]
By Bill Weir, Photo: Bill Weir, CNN Travel, April 22, 2022 Dear River, It's just over two years since you joined our Little Blue Marble ride through the Milky Way and now that you can say things like "Bill Weir I want banana smoothie," it's time to learn the difference between "Happy Birthday" and "Happy Earth Day." Both are in April, but one of them has cake and Hopalong Andy and the other, frustration with humanity. Both involve balloons, only on Earth Day we get pick their deflated shards...
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Fatherhood Programs Can Support Fathers’ Healthy Relationships With Children and Coparents [childtrends.org]
By Lisa Kim and Elizabeth Karberg, Child Trends, June 16, 2022 Fathers’ role within families has gradually evolved from traditional family breadwinner to that of more full and equal coparent involved in all aspects of caregiving. Research has shown that positive father-child involvement leads to better outcomes for children and families , and a critical component of improving fathers’ involvement with their children is supporting their coparenting and romantic or intimate relationship s . In...
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Strategies to Support Healthy Relationships for American Indian and Alaska Native Fathers [www.acf.hhs.gov]
Fathers, children, and families alike benefit from fathers having healthy coparenting and romantic relationships. Child Trends’ new brief for the Office of Planning, Research and Evaluation provides fatherhood programs with strategies, policy suggestions, and additional considerations for working with American Indian and Alaska Native (AIAN) fathers. The brief’s authors outline strategies within three distinct areas of program development and implementation that fatherhood programs can use...
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Resources for Supporting Healthy Relationships in Fatherhood Programs [www.acf.hhs.gov]
Fathers’ relationships—especially their relationships with coparents and romantic partners—can affect their own well-being and the quality of their involvement with their children. Using lessons from the Coparenting and Healthy Relationship and Marriage Education for Dads (CHaRMED) study, Child Trends’ new brief for the Office of Planning, Research and Evaluation identifies common barriers that fatherhood programs face when addressing healthy relationships with fathers and provides...