When discussing the intergenerational affects of ACEs directly to families, many family elders hold a strong stance that unwanted behaviors in children are a direct result of lack of discipline not ACEs. What are some conversation starters & techniques you use in your practice to broaden understanding across generations?
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Hi Naketta,
Please find a couple of blog posts for your perusal that may prove beneficial as conversation starters.
https://www.pacesconnection.com/...ty-sciencedirect-com
https://www.pacesconnection.com/...e-wmcactionnews5-com
https://www.pacesconnection.com/...he-roots-of-violence
In her book For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence, Miller hammers home her provocative stance that the root causes of ALL violence are a consequence of childhood trauma. Of course, this doesn’t mean that all children who are mistreated will unleash violence on society. Far from it! Nevertheless, according to Miller, we should all be wary of this powerful dynamic that unfolds again and again across the globe.
Specifically, Miller describes how the parenting manuals that were in vogue when Hitler and his Nazi collaborators were children belied extreme hostility to children. Parents were exhorted to “show no mercy” when it came to breaking the child’s will. Rather, parents were advised to withhold affection and enforce rigid obedience by whatever means necessary. Physical demonstrations of love were deplored, and using “the rod” was an absolute necessity in child rearing.
It can be helpful to have folk reframe behaviour as an issue of regulation in the child or young person. Then they can start thinking ways of how they can assist the young person to regulate - which is unlikely to prompt solutions involving more discipline.
