My trauma started when I was harmed by people I trusted
When I screamed for help
Nobody came
Those that watched
They turned and walked away
I was stuck in fear
With no way out
I was a child
I became a victim
Succumbing to the control of others
in the hope that they would leave me alone
Submission
Pleasing
Consoling
Making excuses for their behaviour
Creating another narrative
Dissociating
Living in a fairy tale
The princess to be saved by a knight in shining armour
He never came
Sadly, I became a magnet for people
Who needed power and control
They found me
They used me
They hurt me
I let them for years
It was my father's death in January 2023
That showed me what I had refused to see
I was so focused on helping others
That I failed to see what I needed to see
My father showed me
My fire within
I saw a fire within me
An inner strength
My resilience
both driven by my fight for survival
I am now exhausted
From years as a survivor
I have learned to manage my trauma
I have learned
I have grown
to become the good person I was always meant to be
I am now a child advocate
I listen to the voices of children
I hear the voice of the vulnerable
To be their voice
To empower them to have their voice
To ensure that they are heard and seen
I tell them that they are never alone
That there is a way out of the pit of despair
To rise like a phoenix
From the ashes of despair
I have managed PTSD
I have managed trauma
They do not define me
I use my trauma
To help myself and others
To Heal
To Build resilience
To raise awareness of adversity to prevent it
I find the light within each of us
I fuel the fire
So that we can become beacons of HOPE
And make this world a better place for us all
You alone can make the decision,
To use trauma to heal, not harm
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