As I have learned over many years, both from working as a Speech Language Pathologist, helping children to learn how to speak and formulate language, by studying semantics, syntax, pragmatics and from coaching and supporting others with and social and emotional language, words are so influential. I am grateful to understand the power of words and how we formulate our thoughts and ideas. Brenè Brown has been a Thought Leader in this area and I follow her work closely. Her most recent book Atlas of the Heart provides so much information about how the words we currently use and can use influence and shape our lives.

My favorite quotes from Brenè Brown are:

“Language is the portal to connection” and “Language shapes our future”.

Please take a pause from reading and reflect. How do these quotes sit with you? Do they resonate? Why or Why not? What are your beliefs around thoughts and language and experiences?

My personal experience most recently was that I realized how uncomfortable I was listening to the State of the Union Address and why. I have examined my thoughts and words (and emotions) and how they shape my life deeply over the past 22 years in therapy and as a coach. I believe my world is connected to your world, and together we can co-create the world we wish to see by acknowledging our lives, feelings and consciously deciding to put our energy on what we want instead of ruminating in what we don’t want and past issues. Re-framing situations is so powerful. When we reflect and realize that we are often bringing our unhealed trauma into our lives every day it is so empowering to shift our energy toward making the changes we want to see in the world.

I challenge you all to create your own State of Your Self, by compassionately stating how things are and then creating ways and goals that align with your values.

Below I have taken the transcript from the State of the Union February 2022 and edited it using language that aligns with my vision. I would love to hear your thoughts. Which State of the Union resonates with you?

Thank you all for your attention and time considering this re-frame. I hope it brings you all a sense of agency and opportunity for connection instead of a need for protection.

I have taken two sections where the areas of focus are most directly impacted by Trauma and reflect the need for Trauma Informed Policy and Practices. Actually, in my experience all areas are impacted by trauma, as all people have experienced some sort of trauma and self development is important for change, healing, and growth and development. My goal is to bring awareness to those who are not aware at this time and to give a sense of hope and potential for our world.

My words are in bold italics:

1st Section:

But with all the bright spots in our economy, record job growth and higher wages, too many families are struggling to keep up with the bills.

Inflation is robbing them of the gains they might otherwise feel. The cost of living is going up. How are people doing? Are they able to create enough income so they can live sustainably?

I get it. That's why my top priority is getting prices under control. Let’s help business owners align their values with the values of their customers and employees and co create needed change - AGILE is a business methodology used by successful businesses. Let’s consider using a model like that in our homes, organizations, and government.

Look, our economy roared back faster than most predicted, but the pandemic meant that businesses had a hard time hiring enough workers to keep up production in their factories. I am not sure that I can honestly say our economy is in good shape. We have been comparing it to the past so much that I have lost track of what a “good” economy is. Let’s get clear on how we are doing with our flow of money and services. Let’s assess where we are and compare that to where we want to be, not to where we have been.

The pandemic also disrupted global supply chains. Global supply chains have been disrupted.

When factories close, it takes longer to make goods and get them from the warehouse to the store, and prices go up. This is a time to take a pause and reflect on what goods and services we really need instead of continuing to create foods and items that may not be for our best. Let’s think about our environment and our health and well being. What do we really need to produce and provide right now? How can we do best with what we have? What steps can we take to move in a new direction that creates a healthy state of the union?

Let’s look at the reasons people are leaving their jobs. Where are they going? What is happening? Let’s name that. What types of work do we really need to create the goods and services and work environments where people feel fulfilled, respected and included.

Look at cars. Last year, there weren't enough semiconductors to make all the cars that people wanted to buy. And guess what, prices of automobiles went up. There have always been an excess of cars on car lots… there are an abundance of cars - what are we doing with them?

So—we have a choice.

Second Section:

Third -- cut the cost of child care. Many families pay up to $14,000 a year for child care per child. Let’s build resources for families so they can have their children at home to build secure attachments and be more informed about how to build healthy family relationships so we can reduce the costs of challenges we see in the fields of education, mental health and healthcare from the ACES Study.

Middle-class and working families shouldn't have to pay more than 7% of their income for care of young children. Let’s put value in the resources (people and relationships) required to support the development of young children and provide educational opportunities for children and their families. Let’s provide parents with healthy parenting skills and disrupt the cycle of trauma that is causing domestic violence, drug addiction and poverty in our families and communities.

My plan will cut the cost in half for most families and help parents, including millions of women, who left the workforce during the pandemic because they couldn't afford child care, to be able to get back to work. We have learned that having parents home with their children and providing them with opportunities for connection and healthy relations improves the development of young children (brain and health) and builds resilience in communities. Parent’s are struggling because they are having to make a decision between work and parenting. Let’s provide young adults and parents with an opportunity to think through how they want their life story to look in the future before they make decisions to have families. We built "childcare” as a reaction to the industrial revolution, now it’s time to reflect on how we want to support early child development in the present and moving forward.

My plan doesn't stop there. It also includes home and long-term care. More affordable housing. And Pre-K for every 3- and 4-year-old. see above.

All of these will lower costs.

And under my plan, nobody earning less than $400,000 a year will pay an additional penny in new taxes. Nobody. Each person will understand how our tax system works and will value how their money is being spent by the government.

The one thing all Americans agree on is that the tax system is not fair. We have to fix it.

I'm not looking to punish anyone. But let's make sure corporations and the wealthiest Americans start paying their fair share. Let’s make sure that we believe that everyone has the capacity to be wealthy. Let’s stop judging others for being wealthy and empower everyone to have a wealth mindset by investing in their lives and financial, relational and emotional and physical well being.

Just last year, 55 Fortune 500 corporations earned $40 billion in profits and paid zero dollars in federal income tax. Is there a different way to think about wealth, and profits and taxes? Let’s take some time to do that. As I have said it’s not fair and it’s not value driven or logical.

That's simply not fair. That's why I've proposed a 15% minimum tax rate for corporations.

We got more than 130 countries to agree on a global minimum tax rate so companies can't get out of paying their taxes at home by shipping jobs and factories overseas.

That's why I've proposed closing loopholes so the very wealthy don't pay a lower tax rate than a teacher or a firefighter.

So that's my plan. It will grow the economy and lower costs for families. I will look at how we can build a healthy value based human and ecologically safe environment so that individuals in our society feel connected to their daily decisions and are grounded, possibly needing less and giving more back.

So what are we waiting for? Let's get this done. Let’s start reflecting and aligning our individual values with the values of this country. It starts with each of us.

As Shawn Ginwright states: “Healing centered engagement is explicitly political, rather than clinical. Communities, and individuals who experience trauma are agents in restoring their own well-being. This subtle shift suggests that healing from trauma is found in an awareness and actions that address the conditions that created the trauma in the first place. “

And while you're at it, confirm my nominees to the Federal Reserve, which plays a critical role in fighting inflation.

Let’s ensure that each American understands how to create and invest sustainably for their needs and resources.

My plan will not only lower costs to give families a fair shot, it will lower the deficit. We have a deficit because we have a “lack” mindset in our society coming from a “fixed” mindset over generations and as a result of experiencing significant trauma and adversity. We can heal our trauma and open our minds to new ideas and solutions for our future, and use different language to co-create the future we want. When we “lower” things we “lower” things, when we “raise” things we “raise” them. Let’s “expand “what we want the world to look like and “minimize” and “eliminate” the things we don’t want to see. Where attention goes energy flows. Let’s transform our traumatized population into resilient humans who feel healthy, empowered and creative and have healthy relationships in their communities and throughout the world.

“There comes a point where we need to stop just pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why they’re falling in.” ― Desmond Tutu

The previous Administration not only ballooned the deficit with tax cuts for the very wealthy and corporations, it undermined the watchdogs whose job was to keep pandemic relief funds from being wasted. (Blaming and shaming)

But in my administration, the watchdogs have been welcomed back. (So defensive and power over) Let’s take a deep breath and pause, check in with ourselves and see how we are feeling.

We're going after the criminals who stole billions in relief money meant for small businesses and millions of Americans. Let’s create a restorative justice system that invites people to feel safe with their possessions and not so fearful that they have to steal or hoard resources.

And tonight, I'm announcing that the Justice Department will name a chief prosecutor for pandemic fraud. Let’s focus on a system that doesn’t prosecute but restores and resolves conflict and behaviors that are related to centuries of fear and defensiveness.

By the end of this year, the deficit will be down to less than half what it was before I took office. Where are we getting all of the money for all of the funding for the reactions to the pandemic and war between Russia and Ukraine?

The only president ever to cut the deficit by more than one trillion dollars in a single year. (very self serving statement)

Lowering your costs also means demanding more competition.

I'm a capitalist, but capitalism without competition isn't capitalism. Before we make any more decisions about “capitalism” we are going to define it clearly in the governmental space and in our communities. Language can be deceiving if you don’t have common understanding. We will work on clear communication and common definitions. There is a new term floating around called “conscious capitalism”, what does that really mean? Let’s explore that.

It's exploitation—and it drives up prices.

When corporations don't have to compete, their profits go up, your prices go up, and small businesses and family farmers and ranchers go under. Instead of focusing on competition we are going to focus on alignment with values that support our well being.

We see it happening with ocean carriers moving goods in and out of America.

During the pandemic, these foreign-owned companies raised prices by as much as 1,000% and made record profits. We will align our relationships with our values.

Tonight, I'm announcing a crackdown on these companies overcharging American businesses and consumers. (So defensive) Let’s make a new plan to build community connection and improve our economy for all.

And as Wall Street firms take over more nursing homes, quality in those homes has gone down and costs have gone up.(“take over” we are at war with ourselves)

That ends on my watch.

Medicare is going to set higher standards for nursing homes and make sure your loved ones get the care they deserve and expect. Families, Companies and Neighborhoods are going to have important conversations to discuss how to support their family members who need care and find solutions that are centered around healthy values and care. Instead of funding institutional care we are going to look at relationship based family and community care. This can be a cross generational effort for children as well.

We'll also cut costs and keep the economy going strong by giving workers a fair shot, provide more training and apprenticeships, hire them based on their skills not degrees. We will increase the value of our human capacity to contribute and grow. We will reflect deeply on the “Great Resignation” and determine what it really means for the future. Perhaps we are headed in a positive direction.

Let's pass the Paycheck Fairness Act and paid leave. Let’s look at how we are valuing our people and align the work they do with their lifestyles using thoughtful reflective processes focusing on how we can co-create housing, and food resources, and safe and connected family and community relationships.

Raise the minimum wage to $15 an hour and extend the Child Tax Credit, so no one has to raise a family in poverty.

Let's increase Pell Grants and increase our historic support of HBCUs, and invest in what Jill—our First Lady who teaches full-time—calls America's best-kept secret: community colleges.

And let's pass the PRO Act when a majority of workers want to form a union—they shouldn't be stopped. Let’s build a continuum of learning opportunities for children and adults that support them in learning about and creating solutions for sustaining our future at home, in community and society at large.

When we invest in our workers, when we build the economy from the bottom up and the middle out together, we can do something we haven't done in a long time: build a better America. (Yes) - (And let’s DEVELOP a better America because people are human not made out of stone.)

For more than two years, Covid-19 has impacted every decision in our lives and the life of the nation.

Let’s invest in our people with more than money, let’s have healthy relationships, and become listeners, solve problems together and empower each other. Let’s see the value in personal growth and development for ALL.