In a 2014 Harvard study of 10,000 middle and high school kids, 80 percent of the students said they value achievement and happiness over caring for others. While 96 percent of parents report that they want above all for their children to be caring, 81 percent of kids said they believe their parents value achievement and happiness more. A similar math holds for students and teachers: 62 percent of kids believe their teachers prize academic success above all. And this thinking affects student behavior: The very same kids who rank caring for others behind happiness and achievement, and who believe their parents want the same, scored low on an empathy scale.
It matters that the young learn to be kind because a caring outlook is linked to positive life outcomes across multiple domains.
And kids learn more when kindness and tolerance run through a school culture. “The school community functions so much better when kids have strong social-emotional skills,” Weissbourd said. Having empathy, being able to consider another’s perspective, and managing one’s own emotions and actions, all of which are connected to kindness, are linked to academic success. The converse is also true: schools with hostile cultures, where kids feel threatened and distracted, make learning more difficult. And students who lack trusting relationships with teachers are also at a learning disadvantage.
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