Each moment comes with its own feeling quality—pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral—even if we’re not always aware of it. The basic attitude we humans share about experience is that we want more of the pleasant variety and less (or none) of the unpleasant. In fact, “stress” could be just another name for “unpleasant.” It’s important to note that there’s no advantage in seeking out unpleasant experiences and nothing wrong with enjoying, sustaining, and appreciating the pleasant ones. In fact, mindfully savoring positive experience promotes resilience (Smith & Bryant, 2016). But, when we have problems coping without drama when the inevitable difficulties of life arise, or when we voluntarily add to our own stress burden, some balance needs to be restored.
It is sensible and intelligent to apply the skills of fixing and problem solving to those things that are amenable to change. Certainly, there’s no advantage in mindless acceptance of that which is inefficient or harmful to oneself or others. This is why we teach students to plan, reason, and problem solve (Elias & Tobias, 1996; Kendall & Braswell, 1982). For the most part, such approaches rely on logical thinking and are most successfully applied to well-defined problems with well-defined solutions, such as how to study, solve math problems, and eat healthfully. But not all teacher or student problems are well-defined (Kitchener, 1983). Some of the very real challenges of life and the classroom are ill-defined problems that have emotional underpinnings and no clear-cut answers. How can I handle my angry students? How can I manage to sustain empathy for parents who are uninvolved? How can I maintain my sense of balance when I’m constantly being asked to do more? Mindfulness offers another way to approach the difficult, ill-defined problems and uncomfortable feelings of real life, both for teachers and students. It begins by recognizing that uncomfortable feelings may be a signal that you need to act in some way, but that feelings are not, in themselves, the problem.
Adolescents report more daily experience of negative affect from ages 10 to 18 (Larson, Moneta, Richards & Wilson, 2002) but have more difficulty identifying and sorting out their feelings of anger, sadness, fear, disgust, and upset compared to younger children and adults (Nook, Sasse, Lambert, McLaughlin & Somerville, 2018).
Some studies show that simply being focused on observing thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations is not helpful and may even add to anxiety (e.g., Oh no, here comes that anxious thought again!). Importantly, it’s how we observe—nonjudgmentally, with curiosity, and without reactivity—that promotes emotion regulation (e.g., Where is the anxiety in my body right now? Can I be curious about it? Can I simply watch the anxious thoughts come and go?) (Baer et al., 2008; Desrosiers, Curtiss, Vine, & Klemanski, 2014).
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