Why We Should Embrace Mistakes in School [greatergood.berkeley.edu]

Thank you for posting this Alicia! A wise friend of mine shared, "The only mistakes in life are those experiences we don't learn from". Perusing through the article, I'm reminded of the terrific YouTube Famous Failures (Michael Jordon, Ophrah Winfrey, Steve Jobs, Thomas Edison, The Beatles, Dr. Seuss, Abraham Lincoln, etc.) and their profound experiences before they became successful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLYECIjmnQs

Brenda, I'm so saddened to hear of your son's experience in school. Gut-wrenching - that one act of shame remains with us for our lifetime. I remember my 3rd-grade teacher shaming me in front of the class. 

Our schools are on the front line of helping our children and future generations aspire to their greatest selves and expand their learning and experiences. We, as a society, must support our schools becoming trauma-informed and support our teachers compassion fatigue as much as we support students' thriving.

Alicia,

I have a 13 year old daughter with the same perfectionist thinking!  She seems to zero in on "it's not my fault" whenever anything goes wrong (not only with her).  As a counselor, I keep emphasizing that no one is talking about fault, that perfection is a sign of trouble - not a goal to achieve...but I must say, she must be getting these messages reinforced from somewhere because this is her fallback response to anything perceived as negative.

I often wonder if it is the school system.  When my son was in third grade, there was an incident when his math teacher had the children in his class do a mock math test to prepare them for a countywide math assessment the next day.  That afternoon after school, my son came home in tears and told me how his math teacher had each child bring their mock math tests up to her at the front of the class.  When he finished and went up to her, she discovered a simple add/subtract error and said in front of all his classmates "I am shocked that you would make this mistake."  She then ripped his math test up in front of the class and told him to start over with a new math test.  To say that I was upset was an understatement.  I brought the issue up to the Principal, who maybe addressed part of the problem but really didn't get the damage this teacher was doing in the classroom.

There is SO much going on in the educational system that focuses on perfection, punishment, shame, and disrespect.  I'm so glad you brought this subject up in your post.  Thank you.

Brenda