“Survivor Voices: Honoring our Whole Selves in the Field of Healing and Justice” That’s the title of the workshop my colleague and sister survivor, Dr. Emily Samuelson, and I offered at the Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence Conference on May 6, 2019. Our workshop is a unique and supportive environment for survivors of sexual assault and abuse who are working in the field of advocacy and service to survivors. In some cases it’s the first time they’re sitting in a circle comprised of only survivors.
Emily, the psychologist and I, the activist, braid our combined 80 years of experience together to offer empowerment and healing to each circle we have the honor to enter and lead. There still remains a stigma about survivors being “out” about their experience, even in organizations that serve survivors— the belief that we can’t be objective given our lived experience. When we give our workshop at conferences there those who sign up at pre-registration but don’t show up; and some who didn’t pre-register but show up moments before we begin. These actions suggest the “stigma” could be in operation; overcoming the shame we carry can be a challenge.
Throughout the conference, sitting at a table with our books, Soaring Above the Ashes and Healing My Life from Incest to Joy, many survivors approached us. Often whispering their experience, then explaining why they can’t join our workshop—this time. Coming out as a survivor in ones profession can be a huge hurdle to surmount.
In the workshop space, once our circle forms, community gets created very quickly with those who showed up. Safety and connection emerge as we write and share our writing as well as engage in mindfulness practices to stay grounded and whole.
Out of respect for confidentiality I can’t share any of the touching, courageous, and heartfelt writing generated and received within our circle but I can share with you that these are always the most meaningful moments I experience as a leader in this movement to end childhood sexual abuse.
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