I arrived at the interview 15 minutes early, wearing my freshly pressed outfit and holding copies of my resume. As I walk through the door, I am flooded with anxiety. Not because I feel unprepared for the interview or concerned that I lack the skills and experience needed for the job; the anxiety stems from a fear that they will see through the protection I hoped my outfit offered and I wouldn’t get hired because they know I am a lesbian.
For myself, and so many other members of the LGBTQ+ community, being selected for in-person interviews is simultaneously exciting and terrifying. The stress of interviewing goes beyond properly answering questions, being the right fit for the company or having the required skillset. For myself, who visually presents as an androgynous lesbian, and many other members in the LGBTQ+ community, merely existing in the world immediately rips us out of the closet. A closet that some of our fellow community members can safely hide in.
For queer and non-binary people, showing up authentically to work can inherently include two-fold exhaustion. First, the exhaustion that comes with combatting our society’s idea of professionalism. It happens every time we walk into a room wearing our hair and attire in a way that aligns with the most authentic version of ourselves.
Second, by standing in our truth, we knowingly risk physical and emotional safety. Even more worrisome is knowing where you live determines whether you are protected from discrimination by the law. Currently, there are only 21 states and the District of Columbia with laws that fully protect people from discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity.
Constricting ideas of professionalism aren’t only limiting and impacting the LGBTQ+ community. Bias against hair, nails, tattoos and religious attire are just a handful of ways we limit our potential workforce with perceptions of what intelligence, creativity and hard work are supposed to look like. According to Dove’s research around the Crown Act, Black women’s hair is 3.4 times more likely to be considered unprofessional. Furthermore, the ACLU shared that 69% of women who wore a hijab reported at least one incident of discrimination, compared to 29% who did not.
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