As awareness of trauma-informed care has grown in recent years, we’ve stressed the importance offering an authentic healing relationship in our role as therapists. But another core concept deserves more attention: helping clients become aware of, and nurture their authentic self.
At this year’s Psychotherapy Networker conference (which I’ve attended almost annually for about the last 22 years) the amazing Brené Brown spoke about her work on authenticity and shame. She beautifully explained how important the client’s sense of authenticity is to the healing process in trauma work. Brené Brown’s work on authenticity and shame has always spoken clearly to me as a clinician, and this conference solidified my own recent thinking about how we recognize the role of the authentic self in trauma-informed care.
I believe authenticity and compassion for self are the two mainstays of trauma-informed care. As a trauma therapist, I work every day to help clients have compassion for themselves, and come to believe that being authentic is actually okay. Why is this so important?
Because without compassion for self, there is no safety in vulnerability, and therefore, there can be no authenticity!
And if we can’t be vulnerable and authentic, we can’t build meaningful connections in life.
I know that through empowering an individual’s self-compassion and authenticity, there is hope and healing. But first, let’s look inside at how shame, vulnerability and trauma impact one’s sense of authenticity a little more.
How Shame Squashes Authenticity
Shame is a heavy burden among trauma survivors. Individuals who have experienced trauma may develop false beliefs from years of shame around their situation. They feel ashamed whether they (falsely) believe the trauma was their fault or (falsely) that they could have somehow prevented it. If a trauma survivor believes they did “the wrong thing” which resulted in their being traumatized, they might feel like they have to blend in to stay hidden, or act in a certain way to protect themselves.
As Brené Brown mentioned, it’s common for trauma survivors to “dress rehearse tragedy” in order to try to “protect themselves” from future trauma. They may run through every scenario they can think of and come up with a plan for how to handle it.
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