Tagged With "Stress in Toxic Homes"
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A New Word to Help Children and Adults with High ACEs: Lasticity
We can talk about grit, resilience and mindsets all we want. These approaches, while useful in a limited way, operate off a deficit model. There is something wrong in individuals that needs to be fixed -- repaired. And, there is a built in assumption that those who have high ACEs can return to the status quo ante -- they can bounce back. But, these are flawed arguments and here's why. Those with high ACEs are forever changed; they cannot bounce back. (There are neurological reasons among...
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ACEs Validated My Teaching Experience
When I first heard about the CDC-Kaiser Permanente ACE Study , it felt like a light bulb had actually gone on. Finally, FINALLY, someone was validating what I saw every single day teaching in East Oakland. For eight years, I taught at an elementary school in the most violent part of Oakland , the part that the police called the “Killing Zone.” The kids in my class had seen friends, neighbors, and family members shot or stabbed, and routinely hid in bathrooms and closets when gang fights...
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Alice Miller's For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
In Alice Miller’s classic book For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence, Miller hammers home her provocative stance that the root causes of ALL violence are a consequence of childhood trauma.
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Babies and Toddlers Risk Emotional Damage and Post-Trauma Stress in Toxic Homes
Saving your children, family and loved ones from inter-generational post-traumatic stress... Following is an excerpt from my latest book, My Journey of Healing in Life After Trauma, Part 2. "Extensive research has shown babies will pick up on toxic circumstances and behaviors and demonstrate post trauma stress symptoms as they become older. The goal of My Journey of Healing, Part 2 is to specifically help parents with stress triggers to save their kids from becoming emotionally damaged...
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Best Selling Memoir “Hillbilly Elegy” tells an inspiring story of overcoming ACEs
In search of insight into the country’s stark cultural divides in preparation for a week of potentially difficult conversations in Kentucky where I’d be attending family reunion and 50-year high school reunion, I dove into “Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis” by J.D. Vance . Throughout this mesmerizing, painful, and hilarious memoir, I kept wondering if the author might know about the ACE study. The answer was found on page 226 when “ACEs” jumps out at me and...
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Books by Category
The following books have been recommended by ACEs Connection members. Categories (see below) Brain and Neurology Child Abuse Child and Human Development Children’s Books Depression Domestic Violence Foster Care Grief Law Enforcement and...
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Book Review: Juvie Talk: Unlocking the Language of Juvenile Justice [JJIE.org]
Juvie Talk: Unlocking the Language of Juvenile Justice Richard Ross Richard Ross Photography 2016 271 pages “Juvie Talk” is a visual diary of juvenile justice, taking the reader on a journey to meet young people across the country who share their stories with a startling and refreshing open and honest dialogue. They speak of their parents, their siblings, their foster homes, their struggles and experiences, often with violence, abuse and drugs. They speak of their ambitions, their schooling,...
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Book Review: Juvie Talk: Unlocking the Language of Juvenile Justice [JJIE.org]
Juvie Talk: Unlocking the Language of Juvenile Justice Richard Ross Richard Ross Photography 2016 271 pages “Juvie Talk” is a visual diary of juvenile justice, taking the reader on a journey to meet young people across the country who share their stories with a startling and refreshing open and honest dialogue. They speak of their parents, their siblings, their foster homes, their struggles and experiences, often with violence, abuse and drugs. They speak of their ambitions, their schooling,...
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Garbage Bag Suitcase-Available Now!
Plagued and embarrassed by my name, made worse by a nomadic childhood that made it impossible to build lasting relationships, I developed tough skin at an early age. Along the way I learned to deal with disappointment, push through discomfort,...
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Dr. Claudia Gold: Empathy & Listening as ACE-Informed Practice
"You are absolutely not doomed from having ACEs."
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Emotional Agility as a Tool to Help Teens Manage Their Feelings (ww2.kqed.org)
“Emotions are absolutely fundamental to our long-term success – our grit, our ability to self-regulate, to negotiate conflict and to solve problems. They influence our relationships and our ability to be effective in our jobs,” said David, author of the book “ Emotional Agility ” and an instructor at Harvard Medical School. “Children who grow up into adults who are not able to navigate emotions effectively will be at a major disadvantage. ” Research out of Stanford University found that...
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Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City (evictedbook.com)
From Harvard sociologist and MacArthur "Genius" Matthew Desmond, a landmark work of scholarship and reportage that will forever change the way we look at poverty in America . In this brilliant, heartbreaking book, Matthew Desmond takes us into the poorest neighborhoods of Milwaukee to tell the story of eight families on the edge. Even in the most desolate areas of American cities, evictions used to be rare. But today, most poor renting families are spending more than half of their income on...
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Fathers’ Day in America [Message by The Rev. Patricia Templeton]
I recently finished a haunting novel, Before We Were Yours , in which Lisa Wingate tells a fictionalized account of the true story of one of this country’s great scandals, the Tennessee Children’s Home Society and its director, Georgia Tann. From the 1920s through 1950, Tann and her organization facilitated the adoption of thousands of children across the country. Tann was a prominent member of society, held up as the “Mother of Modern Adoption,” and consulted by Eleanor Roosevelt on issues...
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Hallelujah Anyway: Anne Lamott on Reclaiming Mercy and Forgiveness as the Root of Self-Respect in a Vengeful World
Hallelujah Anyway: Reclaiming Mercy and Forgiveness - a slim, powerful book about the ways in which we harden against life and the ways in which we can soften through forgiveness, kindness, and all those splendors of spirit which, in denying others, we deny ourselves. In a testament to how trauma muffles our senses and sensitivities, she considers our greatest stumbling block to mercy and forgiveness. Echoing the beautiful opening lines of Naomi Shihab Nye's poem, "Kindness" - "Before you...
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Healing ACE's
Healing Childhood Trauma I’d like to thank each member of ACE’s Connection for all your work helping and supporting children through various activities and organizations. You are clearly a collection of people who care about the children of the world. It is in recognition of these efforts that I ask you to consider two books on healing childhood trauma. They represent a life-time partnership dedicated to raising and educating healthy children. Secondly, I’d like to ask you for a word of...
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Helping Kids Find the Wisdom in Overwhelm
In an unprecedented global shutdown, many of us, especially without the noise and distraction of everyday life, are facing intensified, often destabilizing feelings. And that includes kids—whether they’re able to say so or not.
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Judging Me, by Mary Elizabeth Bullock
Last week I had the pleasure of attending Day 1 of the CAMFT "Advancing the Art and Science of Psychotherapy" conference in Orange County, where I got to hear Gabor Mate and Vincent Felitti weigh in on the impact of ACEs. What a singular experience to hear this dynamic duo on stage together! (My husband remarked that I was "lit up like a Christmas tree" when I got home that night.) While discussing the meaning of "resilience," Dr. Felitti recommended the book Judging Me, by Mary Elizabeth...
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Meet the ‘Monsters:’ Documentary Looks at California Juvenile Debate [JJIE.org]
One’s kicking himself over an unrequited lifelong crush. One dreams of being a Navy SEAL. Another leads you on a mocking tour of his new home. They’d seem like typical teenage boys — if they weren’t awaiting trial for violent crimes. Juan Gamez, Antonio Hernandez and Jarad Nava are the youthful offenders at the heart of “ They Call Us Monsters ,” a new documentary that follows their lives in a Los Angeles juvenile detention center. They’re held in a special wing of the lockup reserved for...
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Michigan Trauma Informed Education
We are working with PESI, a leader in professional development, to offer a full day training in trauma informed education. This content follows the content of our book on Supporting and Educating Traumatized Students. We will be in Michigan April 19, (Sterling Heights) 20, (LIvonia) and 21 (Ann Arbor) See the attached brochure If this goes well they will continue to offer this next year. Hope to see you there
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Mind Matters now provides assistance for home visitors
I'm thrilled to announce that my book, Mind Matters: Overcoming Adversity and Building Resilience, is now available for use in one-on-one settings. I adapted the 12 lessons of Mind Matters into 21, 15- to 20-minute, one-on-one sessions. This allows home visitors, mentors, and case workers to seamlessly utilize Mind Matters with individuals and families. Since this curriculum can be taught by paraprofessionals, it can be adapted for many different settings. Some organizations are...
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The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
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The King of Average is a Children's Fantasy Adventure to Find a Way out of Childhood Neglect
“This delightful, pun-filled allegory tells the story of a neglected boy who is convinced that he has no worth. ...the book is fast-moving and funny, with a touch of sadness. It will appeal to adults as much as YA readers, reminding all that average is not easy since everyone is special in his or her own way.” —BookLife Prize for Fiction
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The Soulful Journey of Recovery: A Guide to Healing from a Traumatic Past for ACAs, Codependents, or Those with Adverse Childhood Experiences
A groundbreaking new book from Tian Dayton, PhD, and the publisher of the New York Times bestseller Adult Children of Alcoholics …The book that started it all! T ian Dayton picks up where Janet Woititz author of Adult Children of Alcoholics left off…..for those who have grown up in a family with addiction, mental illness, or other adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), the heartache and pain doesn’t end when they grow up and leave home. The legacy can last a lifetime and spread to generations...
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The Soulful Journey of Recovery is out TODAY!!!
A groundbreaking new book from the publisher of the New York Times bestseller Adult Children of Alcoholics …The book that started it all! "Tian Dayton picks up where Janet Woititz author of Adult Children of Alcoholics left off…..for those who have grown up in a family with addiction, mental illness, or other adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), the heartache and pain doesn’t end when they grow up and leave home. The legacy can last a lifetime and spread to generations unseen. In The...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter December 2019
Hi Folks, The latest edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2019-12-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_December_2019.pdf To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via Contact Us, Thanks! Michael. Contents List: 1] A neuroscientist's advice for combating stress this holiday season by Dr. Patrick K. Porter 2] Peer...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter May 2020
Hi Folks, The May edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php or PDF - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-05-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_May_2020.pdf To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via Contact Us, Thanks! Michael . “ Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.” - Helen Keller The Surviving Spirit Newsletter May 2020 – please...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter November 2019
Hi Folks, The latest edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2019-11-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_November_2019.pdf To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via Contact Us, Thanks! Michael. Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse &...
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The TurnAround Mom: How an Abuse and Addiction Survivor Stopped the Toxic Cycle for Her Family--and How You Can, Too! by Carey Sipp
I'm so looking forward to reading this book and then interviewing the author, ACEs Connection SE Regional Facilitator Carey Sipp! From Amazon: If you grew up in a dysfunctional, abusive, or addictive home, you are intimately familiar with violence, uncertainty, and suppressing your feelings. What you may not know, though, is how to create a sane, structured, and serene home for your own family when you never experienced these things yourself. Now you can. Part courageous memoir, part...
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Thinking Developmentally: New book by Dr. Andrew Garner and Dr. Robert Saul
Review from Amazon: Childhood experiences can affect a person’s lifelong health. Thinking Developmentally presents a clinical framework for understanding the impact of toxic stress and both adverse and affiliative childhood experiences on development. It makes a compelling case that many diseases of adulthood are not adult-onset, but rather adult-manifest, based on genetic and epigenetic consequences from early childhood experiences. Garner and Saul examine the needs of children and the role...
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This veteran found a creative way to talk about his PTSD with his child. (upworthy.com)
Kastle created the children's book titled, "Why Is Dad So Mad?" to help explain to his 6-year-old daughter his struggles with PTSD. And when it was published, he read it to his daughter for the first time "There’s a section in the book where I describe the anger and things associated with PTSD as a fire inside my chest," he says. "After I first read the book to my daughter, I remember her saying, 'I'm sorry you have a fire in your chest now, Dad." According to the PTSD Foundation of America...
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Toxic Childhood? 5 Spiritual Exercises to Heal the Soul (psychologytoday.com)
How to bolster and support recovery with simple steps Some soul work can support and aid the healing process, and the following are suggestions for exercises you may want to incorporate into your recovery. 5 spiritual exercises to smooth the way Give up your affirmations and ask questions instead Create a blessing bowl Become a gardener of spirit Take a real look at the child you were Create a letting go ritual The ideas in this post are drawn from my books, most notably Daughter Detox:...
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Trauma and Attachment with Bessel A. van der Kolk, M.D.: Expert, International Speaker & Author (dvd video) 1 hour, 27 minutes
Join the world’s leading expert on trauma Bessel A. van der Kolk, M.D. and understand the latest on how our brains, minds and bodies respond to traumatic experiences. Dr. van der Kolk will explain how affect modulation techniques, EMDR, yoga and neurofeedback are used in overcoming the destabilization and disintegration caused by trauma. Listen to this seminar recording and take home an understanding of how these experiences are processed by unconscious interpretations (subcortical) that...
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UPDATED Information Regarding Broken Places, Cracked Up, Paper Tigers & Resilience: Hosting a Film Screening to Start or Grow an ACEs Initiative: How-to Guide
Movie screenings of documentaries, such as Paper Tigers or Resilience are popular ways to introduce communities to ACEs science. Cissy White provides details about how to put on a screening event.
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Why I believe Gregory Williams, and his book, Shattered By The Darkness, will help save lives and revolutionize healthcare.
When you first hear about it, it sounds unlikely, fact that something that happened to someone in utero, at the age of two months, or four years, or any time in childhood, is what is killing them as an adult, or making them want to die, or making them want to hurt themselves or others. Yet the connection between childhood trauma and adult disease, mental illness, addiction, suicide, violence – most all of society’s ills – is as irrefutable as the myriad truths revealed about it in the...
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Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for Anxious Children (Randye J. Semple, PhD; Jennifer Lee, PhD
Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for Anxious Children offers a complete professional treatment program designed to help children ages nine through twelve who struggle with anxiety. This twelve-session protocol can be used to treat anxious children in group or individual therapy. The poems, stories, session summaries, and home practice activities on the enclosed CD-ROM supplement child therapy sessions and parent meetings to illuminate mindful awareness concepts and practices. In twelve...
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Movie Review: "My Life as a Zucchini"
An animated short film released in 2016 that is 68 minutes in length and deals with childhood trauma. The main character, Icare (French for Icarus), who is nicknamed Zucchini by his single, alcoholic, abusive mother, accidentally causes her death and becomes an orphan who is sent to live in a foster home with other troubled children. The movie allows these children to express their feelings of pure loss and trauma, their loneliness and isolation from their families, and their attempts to...
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My Struggle by Karl Ove Knausgaard
I’ve just finished reading the third volume of My Struggle, by Karl Ove Knausgaard, a Norwegian whose six-volume memoir recounts in minute detail his traumatic experiences as a child and later as a husband and father of four. The fourth volume...
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Nadine Burke Harris debuts "The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity" in Philadelphia
Dr. Nadine Burke Harris debuted her book, The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity , at the Philadelphia Free Library this evening in a talk and book signing. This first stop in an ambitious book tour that crisscrosses the country reflects a mission that Burke Harris has pursued for nearly a decade: to spread the knowledge about the science of adverse childhood experiences, and about how people can use this knowledge to help solve our most intractable problems.
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New Book: Crazy Was All I Ever Knew By Alice M. Kenny (pseudonym)
To this day, I still think of my childhood home as "the crazy house." Like me, millions of adult Americans are living with the effects of the precarious childhoods they experienced as offspring of mentally ill parents. If you are one of them, you can no doubt relate to my book. As a child, you most likely lived in a crazy house of your own. As an adult, you’ve probably retained and may even relive memories of your tumultuous upbringing. Crazy Was All I Ever Knew combines memoir with...
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New book explores storytelling and resilience.
“Run,” he would shout. On two legs, I couldn’t match the speed of a terrified calf or steer, but I was plenty fast, especially in a sprint, so I’d launch myself across the gravel in front of our trailer while my father stood about ten yards behind me twirling his rope.
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Pip had high #ACEs
I just finished reading Great Expectations for the second time. I could relate to it much easier this reading as I used an ACEs lens to understand Pip's experiences and challenges. Dickens knew in 1860 the effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences. It seems strange to see humanity hasn't really evolved emotionally and socially that much in 160 years. Hopefully the ACEs movement will help propel our consciousness raising.
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QUEST Movie: A Benefit for the Coalition on Homelessness
Quest-The Truth Always Rises" is an important film about trauma, love, and resilience. I know the film maker of Quest, and I know how passionate he is to help people understand about Adverse Childhood Experiences and what can happen when one person believes in you. Santiago Rizzo tells a compelling story of his childhood that all should see. His passion is contagious, and his willingness to speak about trauma, the power of love, and the need for honesty is powerful. I suggest folks go and...
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Self-Compassion for Teens
With teens today facing unprecedented levels of toxic stress, self-compassion is one way to nurture inner wisdom, promote self-kindness, and self-heal. Christopher Germer, author of the Mindful Path to Self-Compassion says my forthcoming book, Self-Compassion for Teens: 129 Activities & Practices to Cultivate Kindness is "just the ticket for parents, teachers, and counselors who know the burdens of modern teens and want to help." Tara Brach, author of True Refuge and Radical Acceptance...
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Someone like me
I am a survivor of non-recent systemic (CSA) child sexual abuse crimes committed by three perpetrators.
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Supernormal: The Untold Story of Adversity and Resilience by Meg Jay
From description on Amazon page for book: Clinical psychologist and author of The Defining Decade, Meg Jay takes us into the world of the supernormal: those who soar to unexpected heights after childhood adversity. Whether it is the loss of a parent to death or divorce; bullying; alcoholism or drug abuse in the home; mental illness in a parent or a sibling; neglect; emotional, physical or sexual abuse; having a parent in jail; or growing up alongside domestic violence, nearly 75% of us...
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The Beautiful Darkness: A Handbook for Orphans
I became a professional reader long before I was a writer when I was living in homeless shelters, subsidized housing, and welfare hotels with my mother in New York City. Most of the middle class and affluent black folks I would come to know in the future would wince and give me a look I couldn’t read when I would tell the story that I outline in my new memoir, The Beautiful Darkness: A Handbook for Orphans . All some intolerant, ignorant bigots need is to continue to hear about the...
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The Body Keeps The Score (Bessel van der Kolk, MD)
FINALLY IT IS HERE!!!!!! Got mine by Amazon yesterday and on my Nook after midnight on the 25th. Been reading it straight through!!! This is an awesome book to cut through all the stuff that will likely not work and it tells...
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The Books That Helped Me Transition from Trauma to Triumph: A Book Review Series – “Getting Past Your Past”
Naturally, I would at times experience panic attack symptoms, and would almost always cry. Sometimes slow tears cascading down my cheeks. Other times full-on ugly crying, requiring a pause in the action.
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The Books That Helped Me Transition from Trauma to Triumph: A Book Review Series – “Getting Past Your Past”
Naturally, I would at times experience panic attack symptoms, and would almost always cry. Sometimes slow tears cascading down my cheeks. Other times full-on ugly crying, requiring a pause in the action.
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The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity (Dr. Nadine Burke Harris)
Dr. Nadine Burke Harris was already known as a crusading physician delivering targeted care to vulnerable children. But it was Diego - a boy who had stopped growing after a sexual trauma - who galvanized her to dig deeper into the connections between toxic stress and the lifelong illnesses she was tracking among so many of her patients and their families. A survey of more than 17,000 adult patients' "adverse childhood experiences", or ACEs, like divorce, substance abuse, or neglect, had...