Tagged With "Black Men"
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A Survivor on Speaking Out Against Shame, Silence, and Sexual Assault (yesmagazine.org)
If you’re a survivor yourself and reading this, you know that when I write “I had finished being shocked and upset long ago,” I don’t mean it’s done and dusted and put away and now I’m finished with the rape. I remember a male friend to whom I talked less than a year after it happened. “Do you think I’m thinking about it for too long?” I wanted to know. “I still feel scared and upset; do you think I’m making too big a deal out of it?” “Yes,” he said, “you are. You should be over it by now.”...
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Interview with Jason Lee, author of Living with the Dragon: Healing 15000 days of Abuse and Shame
Jason Lee is an author based out of Coquitlam BC. He’s also a mental health advocate and speaker at events across Canada. His book Living with the Dragon, Healing 15 000 Days of Abuse and Shame has received praise from counselors and comes highly recommended as a resource particularly for men in recovery from depression, anxiety and anger stemming from childhood abuse and trauma. In this interview, we talk about how his book is changing the way people are viewing mental health, depression...
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Judging Me, by Mary Elizabeth Bullock
Last week I had the pleasure of attending Day 1 of the CAMFT "Advancing the Art and Science of Psychotherapy" conference in Orange County, where I got to hear Gabor Mate and Vincent Felitti weigh in on the impact of ACEs. What a singular experience to hear this dynamic duo on stage together! (My husband remarked that I was "lit up like a Christmas tree" when I got home that night.) While discussing the meaning of "resilience," Dr. Felitti recommended the book Judging Me, by Mary Elizabeth...
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License to Parent, a Move the World Documentary (2018) by George Siegel
George Siegel wrote, produced, and directed this award winning one-hour film. From the film's website: A documentary film that focuses on the lack of any requirements needed for parenting. The film looks at people's stories--men, women, and children whose paths in life were set by the family to which they were born. The film shows that if we can raise the standard of parenting, we can make our world a better place in which to live. I'm looking forward to viewing the film and then asking...
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Lupita Nyong'o On Sulwe [npr.org]
By Noel King, National Public Radio, October 17, 2019 NOEL KING, HOST: Actress Lupita Nyong'o became a household name playing Patsey in "12 Years A Slave," and then "Black Panther" brought her worldwide fame. Her characters are strong, and they are undeniably gorgeous. But growing up as a dark-skinned girl, she didn't always feel beautiful. Now she's written a children's book called "Sulwe" about a little girl a lot like herself. LUPITA NYONG'O: Five years old, I had a younger sister who was...
Ask the Community
Transcending family history of violence
I self-published a book Spellbreaker Transcending Violence (true story) in July 2012. I wrote with a pen name for several reasons including safety and copyright law. Patricia Evans, author of The Verbally Abusive...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter December 2019
Hi Folks, The latest edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2019-12-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_December_2019.pdf To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via Contact Us, Thanks! Michael. Contents List: 1] A neuroscientist's advice for combating stress this holiday season by Dr. Patrick K. Porter 2] Peer...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter May 2020
Hi Folks, The May edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php or PDF - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-05-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_May_2020.pdf To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via Contact Us, Thanks! Michael . “ Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.” - Helen Keller The Surviving Spirit Newsletter May 2020 – please...
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Tiffany Haddish: "I Know What I'm Supposed To Do Here On This Earth" [npr.org]
Laura's note: I have not read this memoir ( The Last Black Unicorn , by Tiffany Haddish), so this post is not a book review. When I heard this author interviewed on NPR, though, I immediately recognized what she was describing as the theme of her new book: growing up with ACEs--and overcoming them through positive thinking to succeed as an actress, comedian, and now, an author. In the interview with David Greene, Haddish says it best: I hope a little girl or little boy reads this and be...
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Toni Morrison's New Book Explores Society's Tendency to Construct Otherness [psmag.com]
Toni Morrison is no stranger to tough subject matter—once called the "voice of America's conscience," the Nobel Laureate has, across 11 novels, scrutinized the black identity in the United States. Still, Morrison's latest work, The Origin of Others, may be her most comprehensive examination of race in America to date. While Morrison has typically steered clear of autobiography, The Origin of Others, based on her 2016 Norton Lectures at Harvard University, interweaves Morrison's memories with...
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Trauma-informed Healthcare Approaches: A Guide for Primary Care
Our recently published book, Trauma-informed Healthcare Approaches was written to share basic principles of trauma-informed care and ACEs science with general medical practitioners and administrators. As the recent #METOO movement has demonstrated, interpersonal trauma is widespread. A growing literature has demonstrated the impact of traumatic experiences on mental, physical health and wellbeing. Trauma survivors commonly access healthcare but their histories and needs are commonly...
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What Happens When Old and Young Connect (dailygood.org)
This year, for the first time ever, the U.S. has more people over 60 than under 18. That milestone has brought with it little celebration. Indeed, there are abundant concerns that America will soon be awash in a gray wave, spelling increased health care costs for an aging population, greater housing and transportation needs, and fewer young workers contributing to Social Security. Some fear a generational conflict over shrinking resources, a looming tension between kids and “canes.” As I...
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What Happens When Old and Young Connect (dailygood.org)
This year, for the first time ever, the U.S. has more people over 60 than under 18. That milestone has brought with it little celebration. Indeed, there are abundant concerns that America will soon be awash in a gray wave, spelling increased health care costs for an aging population, greater housing and transportation needs, and fewer young workers contributing to Social Security. Some fear a generational conflict over shrinking resources, a looming tension between kids and “canes.” As I...
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Whistling Vivaldi: How Stereotypes Affect Us and What We Can Do (Issues of Our Time) [by Claude M Steele]
From the book's page on Amazon : The acclaimed social psychologist offers an insider’s look at his research and groundbreaking findings on stereotypes and identity. Claude M. Steele, who has been called “one of the few great social...
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Why I believe Gregory Williams, and his book, Shattered By The Darkness, will help save lives and revolutionize healthcare.
When you first hear about it, it sounds unlikely, fact that something that happened to someone in utero, at the age of two months, or four years, or any time in childhood, is what is killing them as an adult, or making them want to die, or making them want to hurt themselves or others. Yet the connection between childhood trauma and adult disease, mental illness, addiction, suicide, violence – most all of society’s ills – is as irrefutable as the myriad truths revealed about it in the...
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Why I’m Writing a Book About the Most Important Problem Facing Men and Their Families To [GoodMenProject.com]
I’ve been writing books that help men and the families who love them since my first book, Inside Out: Becoming My Own Man, was published in 1983. Getting books published that focus on men is never easy. The perception in the publishing world continues to be that men don’t read books about men’s issues (unless it’s a sports book) and women aren’t that interested in books that help men (Men, as a group, are doing pretty well. It’s women who need help, many believe). I believe the world is...
Ask the Community
Becoming Trauma Informed - edited by Nancy Poole and Lorraine Graves
Becoming Trauma Informed describes trauma-informed practice at the individual, organizational and systemic levels. The editors and authors bring unique perspectives from various settings and from the diverse groups with which they work, sharing...
Ask the Community
Coming of Age on Zoloft: How Antidepressants Cheered Us Up, Let Us Down, and Changed Who We Are by Sharpe (2012)
"A compelling and troubling exploration of a generation raised on antidepressants, and a book that combines expansive interviews with substantive research-based reporting, Coming of Age on Zoloft is a vitally important and immediately engrossing study...
Ask the Community
"General Theory of Love" by Lewis, Amini & Lannon
Love? A word well-bandied, but little understood, it turns out. "A General Theory of Love" is by Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini, and Richard Lannon, three MDs and professors of psychiatry who know their stuff. They're men on a mission to break the truth...
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New book: Lifetrap: from Child Victim to Adult Victimizer
I wrote a book about developmental/ family violence and how ACES during early childhood can lead to the adult survivor perpetrating his own violence. It's the story of intergenerational transmission, the cycle of violence. I worked with domestically violent men as a prison psychologist for 28 years in the Wisconsin correctional system. While the population of offenders is not a sympathetic group, I believe that we need to address the development of an abusive personality if we want to stop...
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New Netflix Gloria Allred Documentary: Seeing Allred. As A Fierce Trauma Advocate, Gloria Shares Her Personal Rape Trauma & Resulting Illegal Abortion
This new Netflix Documentary about radical feminist, civil rights & trauma advocate, Gloria Allred was truly mind blowing. I never knew that Allred’s personal rape trauma and resulting illegal abortion that almost killed her was in part what contributed to imbuing her fierceness as a young lawyer to began advocating for landmark pieces of legislation like the ERA. This documentary features fantastic television clips from as far back as the 60's showing tiny Gloria, with her drastically...
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Self Care Via Nutrition - An Anti-Antidepressant Approach
Whilst I'm not promoting this book, I am trusting Chris Kresser, a 'functional nutritionist', in his 'endorsement' of Dr Kelly Brogan, to a degree at least. It was Chris Kresser who really started a conversation years ago about gut health, way before the mainstream medical cohort were embracing it. As to a Paleo diet, it's fraught with contentious toing and froing of its benefits, or lack thereof. Depends who you listen to! Chris Kresser seems to have a more nuanced approach to Paleo...
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Spirit of the Earth: Indian Voices on Nature (dailygood.org)
Very few would question or challenge the reality of climate change and the perilous situation of the present day, yet it is often overlooked that indigenous communities have in many cases been impacted the hardest by the environmental crisis and have been on the frontline of the struggle to protect the earth, as witnessed most recently by the events at the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe. The First Peoples of the world provide an integral vision as to how human beings can live in balance and...
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Re: Why We Shouldn’t Shield Children From Darkness (www.time.com) & Note
Cis: What a powerfully compelling article! Please thank your friend Kathy for sharing with you. So grateful to hear author MATT DE LA PEÑA 's courage to be vulnerable, we need more authors with his passion and open heart. Yes! how healing to have our precious children learn about the complexities of life from the healing comfort of our love, sitting on our laps reading emotionally complex books, and holding them through the questions of "why". My hope is every library, school, bookstore, and...
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A Safe Place For Men
Each day from Thanksgiving until Christmas, hear the voices of male survivors of childhood, adolescent or adult sexual abuse share their stories of hurt, pain, joy and triumph as they heal from the aftermath of betrayal and trauma. You are not alone https://www.safeplaceformen.com/30days Thank you Thomas! Honored to help kick this series off – gifts of healing. Take care, Michael Skinner https://safeplaceformen.podbean.com/ www.safeplaceformen.com #safeplaceformen #malesexualabuserecovery
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Art and Trauma: Creativity As a Resiliency & Healing Factor
Art and Trauma: Creativity As a Resiliency & Healing Factor I have long believed that all of the creative arts are healing. I was drawn to music because it made me feel good, first just listening, then learning to play the drums and then performing in rock bands. Later in life, learning the guitar and singing along with songwriting. Sadly, trauma disconnects so many of us from our creative outlets...finding the ways to reconnect with our creative selves goes a long ways in healing the...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter December 2020
Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health “ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”. Kahlil Gibran The Surviving Spirit Newsletter December 2020 Hi Folks, Hoping this finds you well and safe. Wow, coming to the end of a very challenging year...I do hope that 2021 brings forth healing and hope for all of us. Life can be hard, a pandemic...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter March 2021
Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health “ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”. Kahlil Gibran The latest edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php or here's the PDF -...
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"Brush Away Your Tears" - to all the survivors of childhood abuse-past and present
Hi folks, April is National Child Abuse, Sexual Assault Awareness and Childhood Sexual Abuse Prevention Month. This is a song of mine I wrote many years ago to all the survivors of childhood abuse-past and present. You deserve healing and support. Take care, Michael. "Brush Away Your Tears" - YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SpYYc6tl4s&t=4s The song was also used in the film documentary - Boys & Men Healing Healing From Child Sexual Abuse -...
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Justin Baldoni opens up about body dysmorphia and his struggles to be 'man enough' (upworthy.com)
Baldoni opens up about his body image issues in his new book, "Man Enough: Undefining My Masculinity." In fact, he shares that he's spent much of his life suffering from body dysmorphia—a psychological disorder in which people have a distorted perception of a part of their body, where they see something different in the mirror than what other people see. Now he's 37, and though he thought he'd moved past those insecurities, he admits found himself anxious on the set of Jane the Virgin...
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A Witness to the Tulsa Massacre, and a Family History Forever Altered (nytimes.com)
Anneliese M. Bruner was in her mid-30s when her father presented her with a small red book. It was bound in cloth and worn at the corners. “This is a book your grandmother wrote,” he told her, “and I want you to see what you can do with it. You are the matriarch of the family now, and I’m giving this to you.” Opening it, she saw a panoramic photograph that revealed the utter destruction of the Greenwood District in Tulsa, Okla. , in the immediate aftermath of a white mob descending on the...
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The Deaf Women Suffragists Left Out of History Books (yesmagazine.org)
As a researcher of deaf history , including deaf women’s history, I work to illuminate the often hidden history of deaf people and their unique contributions to the world. I have unearthed historical information about deaf women suffragists and assembled it into an online collection chronicling what is known—so far—about these women and their lives. Despite harsh, discriminatory conditions, low pay, and lack of recognition, countless deaf women have fought with brilliance and dedication for...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter September 2022
Healing the Mind, Body & Spirit Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health “ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”. Kahlil Gibran The Surviving Spirit Newsletter September 2022 [scroll down for newsletter links] Greetings folks, Well...here we are in September and it's dark at 7:10pm, some leaves are dropping, flowers gone by the wayside and nights are...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter December 2022
“ Hope is being able to see the light despite all the darkness.” - Desmond Tutu “ Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn’t you - all of the expectations, all of the beliefs - and becoming who you are.” - Rachel Naomi Remen The latest Surviving Spirit Newsletter - Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health is out - It can be read online via this & you can also subscribe -...
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What Is Emotional Labor, and Why Does It Matter? (greatergood.berkeley.edu)
Emotional Labor: The Invisible Work Shaping Our Lives and How to Claim Our Power (Flatiron Books, 2023, 272 pages). To read more of HOPE REESE 's article, please click here. A new book explains how devaluing emotional labor—disproportionately done by women and other disadvantaged groups—perpetuates inequality. A server smiles and soothes an angry customer who wasn’t happy with his meal. A mom gently coaxes her toddler out of a tantrum when dad can’t deal with it. A woman visits her ill...
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Rising from the Ashes of Childhood Brutality
Country music artist Allen Karl (Sterner) endured unspeakable childhood cruelty and chaos, yet turned into a caring, competent adult. His story provides many useful insights that can help and inspire others who have endured multiple ACEs.
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My musical thoughts about society's reluctance to address child abuse and neglect
“If we could somehow end child abuse and neglect, the eight hundred pages of DSM (and the need for the easier explanations such as DSM-IV Made Easy: The Clinician's Guide to Diagnosis) would be shrunk to a pamphlet in two generations.” - John Briere My musical thoughts about society's reluctance to address child abuse and neglect in all of its forms.... "Brush Away Your Tears" by Michael Skinner - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jc0GLP91vWE&t=425s Take care, Michael PS This song was used...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter January 2024
The latest Surviving Spirit Newsletter - Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health is out - It can be read online via this & you can also subscribe - http://ml.survivingspirit.com/dada/mail.cgi/archive/newsletter/20240124222342/ Newsletter Contents : 1] Seasonal affective disorder: Self-care tips to fight the winter blues By Jocelyn Solis-Moreira @ CNN 2] Why more men are joining the ranks of therapists: ‘We’re rushing to a place we’re needed’ by Daniel Duane @ The...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter February 2024
The latest Surviving Spirit Newsletter - Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health is out - It can be read online via this & you can also subscribe - http://ml.survivingspirit.com/dada/mail.cgi/archive/newsletter/20240227180514/ Newsletter Contents : 1] The Nordic Way to Stop Bullying by David Robson @ BBC News 2] People Who Had Unhappy Childhoods Usually Develop These Traits by Sinead Cafferty @ Bolde 3] Fighting for Recovery by Phyllis Vine – Beacon Press 4] How...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter July 2024
The latest Surviving Spirit Newsletter - Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health is out - It can be read online via this & you can also subscribe - http://ml.survivingspirit.com/dada/mail.cgi/archive/newsletter/20240723222246/ or this - https://www.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2024-07-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_July_2024.pdf “ We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity. We need to give each other space so that we may...
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Q&A with Mike Skinner, advocate for survivors of childhood abuse
Q&A with Mike Skinner, advocate for survivors of childhood abuse. Article excerpt - Goffstown’s Mike Skinner is a survivor of childhood sex trafficking at the hands of his parents. Two of his siblings took their own lives. He feels that trauma, particularly childhood trauma, lies beneath and is a definitive factor of what is termed “mental illness.” If you get run over by a Mack truck there will be tire tracks. The statistics from the CDC are sobering. One out of four women is sexually...
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The Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome and Adverse Childhood Experiences
The Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome is a curious mixture of appealing strengths, insecurities, and problematic behaviors rooted in adverse childhood experiences. Mr. Nice Guy compensates for hidden childhood wounds by struggling to do everything right, but the syndrome's limited gains come at a cost. The syndrome suggests strategies for a more satisfying adulthood and better relationships.
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Re: The Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome and Adverse Childhood Experiences
This is a great article, thank you! The theme of people-pleasing is often associated with women but obviously it applies to men too. It's good to see this. Thank you for sharing!
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For Better Relationships and Self-Esteem, Replace Common Mr. Nice Guy Thought Patterns
The Mr. Nice Guy syndrome's dysfunctional thought patterns are common in survivors of adverse childhood experiences. Uprooting these patterns can improve self-esteem and relationships.