Tagged With "Mr. Nice Guy thought patterns"
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Adversity Needn’t Thwart or Define You. Here’s How to Cope. [nytimes.com]
The author had a chipped tooth. It ruined her looks, she thought. She had to interview someone for her book, and she really wanted to cancel. The interview subject was Mariatu Kamara, the young woman from Sierra Leone who wrote “The Bite of the Mango,” a memoir about surviving a civil war, rape, losing the baby that resulted from the rape, having her hands chopped off, making it to safety and finally leaving everyone she knew to seek refuge in Canada. The author thought about this, about why...
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Books by Category
The following books have been recommended by ACEs Connection members. Categories (see below) Brain and Neurology Child Abuse Child and Human Development Children’s Books Depression Domestic Violence Foster Care Grief Law Enforcement and...
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Check out 11-yr-old Aslan Tudor’s Standing Rock book: 'Young Water Protectors' (Indian Country Today)
Aslan Tudor, who first traveled with his mom Kelly Tudor to Standing Rock when he was just eight-years-old, has written a book about his experience in a book titled “Young Water Protectors: A Story about Standing Rock.” “I thought it would be a good book to hear about kids in Standing Rock,” said Aslan, who traveled to Standing Rock when he was eight in August of 2016, and had turned 9 by the time he returned in October. Aslan’s mother Kelly Tudor, who helped Aslan write the book, and who...
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Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (brainpickings.org)
Researcher and thought leader Dr. Brené Brown offers a powerful new vision that encourages us to dare greatly: to embrace vulnerability and imperfection, to live wholeheartedly, and to courageously engage in our lives. In Daring Greatly , Dr. Brown challenges everything we think we know about vulnerability. Based on twelve years of research, she argues that vulnerability is not weakness, but rather our clearest path to courage, engagement, and meaningful connection. The book that Dr. Brown’s...
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Dr. Claudia Gold: Empathy & Listening as ACE-Informed Practice
"You are absolutely not doomed from having ACEs."
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Healing ACE's
Healing Childhood Trauma I’d like to thank each member of ACE’s Connection for all your work helping and supporting children through various activities and organizations. You are clearly a collection of people who care about the children of the world. It is in recognition of these efforts that I ask you to consider two books on healing childhood trauma. They represent a life-time partnership dedicated to raising and educating healthy children. Secondly, I’d like to ask you for a word of...
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How to Live a More Courageous Life (dailygood.org)
(Image: GlennAzar.com ) In my new book, The Courage Habit , I argue that when it comes to dealing with fear, we often go about it all wrong. Instead of seeing fear as bad and trying to get rid of it when it arises, we can choose to accept fear as part of the process of change and instead practice courage. This choice can help you to feel more emotionally resilient as you make life changes or go after big dreams. Though courage is often thought of as an inborn character trait, it’s actually a...
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Interview with Hilary Jacobs Hendel
I first came across Hilary Jacobs Hendel’s work when I read a New York Times article in which Hendel, a practicing psychotherapist and writer, described the “Change Triangle,” an upside down triangle that explains how emotions work. The Change Triangle is also a roadmap that teaches us how we can use emotions as guides to both heal trauma and attain a more vital and calm state of being. As a follower of Hendel’s blog—and an avid user of the Change Triangle to understand my own inner...
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Jemma's Journey
This is a review from the Like Minds Like Mine newsletter: Mt. Maunganui (New Zealand) psychologist Janet Peters, who has been involved with the New Zealand Mental Health Foundation's Like Minds Like Mine programme for over...
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Supporting and Educating Traumatized Students: A Guide for School-Based Professionals
Greetings everyone. I'm new to this site, although thought I would share a book I recently co-edited that has only served to increase my interest in supporting students with ACEs, with particular emphasis on providing those supports within schools....
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The Witch-Hunt Narrative: Politics, Psychology and the Sexual Abuse of Children Hardcover – April 28, 2014
In the 1980s, a series of child sex abuse cases rocked the United States. The most famous case was the 1984 McMartin preschool case, but there were a number of others as well. By the latter part of the decade, the assumption was widespread that child...
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"Unfinished Conversation: Healing From Suicide and Loss"
Robert E. Lesoine's best friend Larry took his life by suicide on October 15, 2005. Although Lesoine knew Larry was struggling with feelings of disappointment, dejection, and loss, along with the return of debilitating pain associated with a past...
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Years of Tears
One failed marriage and two kids later, I met a man I thought was the answer to my prayers. He turned out to be my worst nightmare. "John" turned out to be a control freak. He took over everything. He cut us off from family and friends, even each...
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The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
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The Legacy of Freedom Writers; How Literature is Helping Children and Teens Find Purpose
If you have ever seen the movie Freedom Writers , you might have thought the story ended alongside the film. However, Erin Gruwell has grown the movement she began decades ago to reach beyond Los Angeles. Now, the Freedom Writers Foundation offers training, scholarships, and curriculum for educators and students in cities across the nation. Their main goal is to work with "unteachable students" and show them they are fully capable of pursuing a collegiate career. Many of these students come...
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The Mask You Live In (therepresentationproject.org)
This documentary by the Representation Project explores the American boy crisis and the culture of American masculinity. According to the film's website, "Research shows that compared to girls, boys in the U.S. are more likely to be diagnosed with a behavior disorder, prescribed stimulant medications, fail out of school, binge drink, commit a violent crime, and/or take their own lives." I watched it on Netflix and thought it was quite good. Here's the link to the website and trailer: ...
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The New Science of Empathy and Empath (soundstrue.com)
Empathy doesn't make you a sentimental softy without discernment. It allows you to keep your heart open to foster tolerance and understanding. In my new book The Empath's Survival Guide , I discuss the following intriguing scientific explanations of empathy and empaths. These will help us more deeply understand the power of empathy so we can utilize and honor it in our lives. The Mirror Neuron System Researchers have discovered a specialized group of brain cells that are responsible for...
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The Relentless School Nurse: Coronavirus a Book for Children
I am excited to share this children's book that explains the coronavirus to children! Thank you to Donna Gaffney for sending this my way! Retrieved from: https://nosycrow.com/blog/released-today-free-information-book-explaining-coronavirus-children-illustrated-gruffalo-illustrator-axel-scheffler/ The book answers key questions in simple language appropriate for 5 to 9-year-olds: • What is the coronavirus? • How do you catch the coronavirus? • What happens if you catch the coronavirus? • Why...
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The Soulful Journey of Recovery: A Guide to Healing from a Traumatic Past for ACAs, Codependents, or Those with Adverse Childhood Experiences
A groundbreaking new book from Tian Dayton, PhD, and the publisher of the New York Times bestseller Adult Children of Alcoholics …The book that started it all! T ian Dayton picks up where Janet Woititz author of Adult Children of Alcoholics left off…..for those who have grown up in a family with addiction, mental illness, or other adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), the heartache and pain doesn’t end when they grow up and leave home. The legacy can last a lifetime and spread to generations...
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The Soulful Journey of Recovery is out TODAY!!!
A groundbreaking new book from the publisher of the New York Times bestseller Adult Children of Alcoholics …The book that started it all! "Tian Dayton picks up where Janet Woititz author of Adult Children of Alcoholics left off…..for those who have grown up in a family with addiction, mental illness, or other adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), the heartache and pain doesn’t end when they grow up and leave home. The legacy can last a lifetime and spread to generations unseen. In The...
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Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence--From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror, by Judith Herman, M.D.
Many of you read this groundbreaking book on understanding and treating trauma when it first came out in 1997. This is where author Judith Herman first proposed the concept of complex post-traumatic stress disorder to describe prolonged, repeated trauma. Notably, this 2015 edition has an epilogue by the author in which she discusses ACEs science. Just when I thought this classic couldn't get any better! From Amazon: A revised and updated edition of the groundbreaking work that changed the...
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Why We Shouldn’t Shield Children From Darkness (www.time.com) & Note
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Your Survival Instinct Is Killing You: Retrain Your Brain to Conquer Fear and Build Resilience
Jane Stevens posted a descriptive blurb about this title, How Your Survival Instinct Is Killing You , back in January, and I thought, “Why the heck not?” After all, I read everything I can get my hands on, searching for that magic elixir that will fix the feeling that I’ve called by many names over the years: Despair. Fear. Hole in the soul. Nameless dread. Whatever you want to call it, some of you with a high ACE score might know what I’m talking about. (I also experienced a very traumatic...
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Brief: Reflections on Childhood, Trauma and Society
"This book is a collection of essays and commentaries by Dr. Bruce Perry, a world renowned teacher, researcher and clinician. His thoughtful comments on children and society will stimulate and provoke deeper thought about how we are choosing to...
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Encyclopedia of Trauma: An Interdisciplinary Guide by Charles Figley (2012)
"Trauma is defined as a sudden, potentially deadly experience, often leaving lasting, troubling memories. Traumatology (the study of trauma, its effects, and methods to modify effects) is exploding in terms of published works and expanding in terms of...
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Mistreated: Why we think we're getting good health care and why we usually are wrong. The connection to Adverse Childhood Events
Mistreated: Why we think we are getting good health care and why we usually are wrong and the connection to Adverse Childhood Events Over the past two years, I have written a column for Forbes. On several occasions, I have highlighted the medical consequences of Adverse Childhood Events (ACE's) and Intimate Partner Violence (IPV). The data is clear. Both if not recognized and treated produce negative health care outcomes. Both are very prevalent and asking about each should be standard for...
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New Book: Crazy Was All I Ever Knew By Alice M. Kenny (pseudonym)
To this day, I still think of my childhood home as "the crazy house." Like me, millions of adult Americans are living with the effects of the precarious childhoods they experienced as offspring of mentally ill parents. If you are one of them, you can no doubt relate to my book. As a child, you most likely lived in a crazy house of your own. As an adult, you’ve probably retained and may even relive memories of your tumultuous upbringing. Crazy Was All I Ever Knew combines memoir with...
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New book explores storytelling and resilience.
“Run,” he would shout. On two legs, I couldn’t match the speed of a terrified calf or steer, but I was plenty fast, especially in a sprint, so I’d launch myself across the gravel in front of our trailer while my father stood about ten yards behind me twirling his rope.
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Opening Up by Writing It Down: How Expressive Writing Improves Health and Eases Emotional Pain, by James W. Pennebaker, PhD and Joshua M. Smyth, PhD
In my last post, I highlighted a book Vincent Felitti mentioned at the CAMFT conference in Orange County. In the same talk, Dr. Felitti also recommended a form of therapeutic writing developed by James Pennebaker to help individuals uncover painful emotions and heal trauma. Pennebaker's book Opening Up by Writing It Down: How Expressive Writing Improves Health and Eases Emotional Pain details the why and how. The Pennebaker method has been referenced elsewhere on ACEs Connection; I thought...
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Our Bodies are Basically Good (lionsroar.com)
Non-diet dietician Jenna Hollenstein’s new book Eat to Love paves a Buddhist path toward transforming our often troubled relationship with food and body. Lilly Greenblatt spoke with Hollenstein about how her revolutionary approach can guide us away from chronic dieting, food anxiety, and disordered eating with mindfulness and compassion. In her practice, Hollenstein uses meditation and mindfulness techniques to help people overcome disordered eating, eating disorders, and chronic dieting.
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Our Community Page Is Expanding!
As Oliver Wendell Homes once said, “The mind, once expanded to the dimensions of bigger ideas, never returns to its original size.” I am so grateful to all of YOU for making ACEs Connection such a forward-thinking and vibrant site, and for the many ways it’s expanded my own mind to the “dimensions of bigger ideas.” That said, I’m so excited to introduce myself as the new community manager of “Books! Educational DVDs! Documentaries!” A little about myself: I’m a freelance writer and have...
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‘Pachamama’ Is The Peruvian-Inspired Movie Showing The Parallels Between Colonizers And Institutions Destroying Earth (wearemitu.com)
Writer-Director Juan Antin’s latest film “Pachamama”, god willing, might just save the planet. The Argentinian director’s latest project illustrates a story of a young boy from the Andes growing up during the time the Incas were colonized by Spain. Even more importantly, as a piece of content that targets younger generations, it strikes up a conversation on how the actions of early colonizers mirror the ways in which we mistreat our planet today. “Pachamama” follows a 10-year-old boy from a...
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Parenting through the Storm Book Review
Parenting Through the Storm: Find Help, Hope, and Strength When Your Child Has Psychological Problems , is written by Ann Douglas. The author, a member of this group and network , has a warm, open and honest tone. She's a parent and gets that parents and kids are sometimes or even often scared, struggling and in crisis. She knows. She writes about the time she almost lost her daughter, thirteen at the time, to death by suicide. Her daughter was vomiting and sleeping, restlessly, all night...
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Poignant Memoir/Self-Help Digs into the Process of Healing Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) through Storytelling and Shared Discovery [prweb.com]
Research has proven Adverse Childhood Experiences, known as ACEs, can have a long-lasting detrimental effect well into adulthood. Those struggling with repeating patterns, autoimmune diseases, and behaviors such as addiction and difficulties in relationships now have a profound and personal resource in author Christina Beauchemin’s new book, “Let My Legacy Be Love: A Story of Discovery and Transformation: Tracing Adult Issues to Childhood Hurts”. In this memoir/self-help hybrid, Beauchemin...
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Recovering Your Sacredness
Building on culturally-based teachings, through the use of traditional stories and personal reflections, Jerry Tello shares the “medicine” and process to detox from, and break the cycles of painful, generational patterns, and harmful relationships; guiding the reader through a journey to recover one's sacredness . Recovering Your Sacredness re-introduces values and generational wisdom that are found in virtually every cultural tradition and spiritual school of thought. Tello lifts up these...
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Rethinking Resilience: A Review of Change your World
Change Your World is the newest addition to the body of resources on Resilience. It has been written by Michael Ungar, PhD - one of the most informed voices in resilience research. Although the reviewer was skeptical leading up to reading the book, expecting more victim blaming, which is often the predominant theme of resilience promotion, she was pleasantly surprised. She now recommends this book to everyone interested in learning how to build a healthier humanity.
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Self Care Via Nutrition - An Anti-Antidepressant Approach
Whilst I'm not promoting this book, I am trusting Chris Kresser, a 'functional nutritionist', in his 'endorsement' of Dr Kelly Brogan, to a degree at least. It was Chris Kresser who really started a conversation years ago about gut health, way before the mainstream medical cohort were embracing it. As to a Paleo diet, it's fraught with contentious toing and froing of its benefits, or lack thereof. Depends who you listen to! Chris Kresser seems to have a more nuanced approach to Paleo...
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Self Help: More Than Just a Good Book
I have written before about how I was a self-help book addict. I read every book I could find, re-reading several of them and even going as far as getting them on audiobook so I could re-listen to them hundreds of times. I did this because I absolutely believed in their base principles, and, frankly, I needed a constant reminder. I would listen — and would feel good for 10 to 30 minutes afterwards. But, then life would happen; I would forget everything I learned and I would be right back to...
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Spirit of the Earth: Indian Voices on Nature (dailygood.org)
Very few would question or challenge the reality of climate change and the perilous situation of the present day, yet it is often overlooked that indigenous communities have in many cases been impacted the hardest by the environmental crisis and have been on the frontline of the struggle to protect the earth, as witnessed most recently by the events at the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe. The First Peoples of the world provide an integral vision as to how human beings can live in balance and...
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Tara Westover: ‘In families like mine there is no crime worse than telling the truth.’ (www.theguardian.com)
Tara Westover grew up preparing for the End of Days in rural Idaho with radical survivalist Mormon parents. She didn’t get a birth certificate until she was nine and had no medical records because her father did not believe in doctors. She and her six older siblings worked in her father’s junkyard. As she grew older, her father’s beliefs became more extreme and one of her brothers grew violent. At 17, she decided to educate herself as a means of escape. Within 10 years she had earned a PhD...
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The Body Keeps The Score (Bessel van der Kolk, MD)
FINALLY IT IS HERE!!!!!! Got mine by Amazon yesterday and on my Nook after midnight on the 25th. Been reading it straight through!!! This is an awesome book to cut through all the stuff that will likely not work and it tells...
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Re: Inflammation! Who knew???
Thank you for posting Bill. I too have knee pain and arthritis and have been looking to reduce inflammation. Before I tell you what I have done, I want you to know about an interview I recently did about Childhood Disrupted with Donna. You can check out my web site at http://www.nurserona.com/ . I will post the interview there after it airs on KPFA.org on Nov. 23rd. I have known about the ACEs work for many years now, and find it essential for healing. I recently was able to get Kaiser to...
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Re: The Resiliency Workbook: Bounce Back Stronger, Smarter & With Real Self-Esteem [by Nan Henderson]
I hope I don't seem annoying but, with the first chapter as "You were born Resilient." I don't agree. First: One of the Videos from the AVA (Academy on Violence and Abuse) ACEs DVD from Dr. Frank Putman, MD "ACEs Changed the Landscape" shows slides demonstrating that as ACEs increase "you overwhelm the child's capacity for resilience.". http://vimeo.com/66692132 But he also points toward "Angels" or positive predictive factors (The way Strengthening Families works on the "Protective...
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Re: The TurnAround Mom: How an Abuse and Addiction Survivor Stopped the Toxic Cycle for Her Family--and How You Can, Too! by Carey Sipp
I think you'll like Carey's book, Jill. I sure did and added my review to her Amazon listing - thought I'd copy it below Excellent Read and Resource May 27, 2018 Format: Paperback In sharing her personnel experiences with and triumphs over her own and her father's alcoholism, abuse and the incredible family dysfunction this family disease causes for all concerned, Carey Sipp provides a tremendous guide one can follow to turn their lives around. I knew she knew what it is like - that she had...
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John Lewis on Love, Forgiveness, and the Seedbed of Personal Strength (brainpickings.org)
Once in a generation, if we are lucky, someone comes about who in every aspect of their being models for us how to do that, how to be that — how to place love at the center, the center that holds solid as all around it breaks, the solid place that becomes the fort of what is unbreakable in us and the fulcrum of change. Among those rare, miraculous few was John Lewis (February 21, 1940–July 17, 2020), who began his life by preaching to the chickens at his parents’ farm in southern Alabama and...
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Special Guests Graham Bodie & Erahm Christopher 8/27/20 12 p.m. PST for A Better Normal/Education Upended
"I have toured the country for the past 10 years to talk to our young people. I’ve learned that the biggest threat to our humanity is not guns, mental illness or our government. It is that everyone is talking and no one is listening. ” Erahm Christopher, The Washington Post Please join us on Thursday, August 27th as we host special guests Erahm Christopher and Graham Bodie to discuss the power of listening as part of our A Better Normal / Education Upended community conversation series.
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Healing the Hidden Wounds from Childhood: The Promise of Healing, Part III (by Glenn R. Schiraldi, Ph.D., Lt. Col., USAR, Ret.)
So many people are struggling with unhealed, hidden wounds from toxic childhood stress. For some, the pain is obvious. Others might look outwardly strong, capable, and in control. However, unhealed inner wounds cause needless suffering and can lead to a dizzying array of psychological, medical, and functional problems. Fortunately, there is hope for healing—even decades after traumatic wounding from ACEs occurs—enabling us to be 100% there for ourselves, our families, and others we work and...
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Re: My New Book is coming out soon, Your Resonant Self Workbook
Very nice with your book release. All the best to you with this endeavor!!!
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Left Behind: Surviving Suicide Loss (dailygood.org)
In the spring of 2017, Nandini Murali, a South Indian journalist and author, returned from an out-of-town assignment to an eerily quiet home. Typically, her husband would greet her at the front door, but that morning he hadn't answered her phone calls. It was Nandini who discovered his body, and confronted an unfathomable reality. T.R. Murali, one of the most prominent urologists in India, and her beloved husband of 33 years, had ended his own life. "Space dissolved," writes Nandini, of that...
