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Survivors’ guilt: The North Bay fires spared homes, but owners wonder ‘why mine?’

SANTA ROSA The Gibson and Vella families have been best friends for decades, raising their children together in the Coffey Park neighborhood, carpooling to soccer games, vacationing together and attending their children's weddings.

Today, one family has a home. The other doesn't.

As the smoke is clearing from Santa Rosa, Napa and the other communities in Wine Country, the reality of what was lost is coming into focus. And the ones who lost nothing are grappling with why they were spared.

"First, you're so grateful that your house is there,"  Pat Gibson, 64, said. And then it sets in, "Why me, when all our friends are suffering and lost everything?"

About 900 homes were destroyed in Santa Rosa's Coffey Park early that Monday morning, and only about 50 or so survived. The firestorm that tore through the city destroyed more than 3,000 structures. 

The emotional trauma can sometimes be stronger for the ones whose homes were spared, research suggests. Berkeley psychologist Alan Siegel studied the dreams of the victims of the 1991 Oakland hills fire.

"Those who didn't lose their homes, they had worse dreams, their recovery was slower, Siegel said. Some experienced nightmares of wild animals chasing them, or images of empty shopping carts suggesting their sense of depletion. Many of the dreams showed guilt. They felt intensely guilty.
Survivors guilt

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