Parenting the Preschooler: Cope with Scary Events

Helping Preschoolers Cope with Scary Events

We can’t prevent scary events from happening, but we can do our best to know what and how much information our children are being exposed to about the events. The following tips help children cope during scary times:

• Limit radio, TV or electronic devices to prevent children from being overwhelmed by images and discussion about the situation or event.
• If you do watch or listen with your children, be prepared to discuss it with them and answer their questions.
• Notice changes in their behavior such as aggression, withdrawal, loss of appetite, difficulty with sleep, separation or sadness.
• Keep your family routines to provide a sense of security and comfort.
  
  

Emotion Coaching - Label, Empathize And Problem-Solve (LEAPS)

When we notice changes in children’s behavior, it is often the result of emotions that they are working through. Preschool children often lack the words to express their feelings and thoughts.  Using a strategy called Emotion Coaching adults can help children understand and respond to their feelings in a healthy and helpful way.

Try these steps:

• Notice and Label feelings - “It sounds like you are feeling sad.”

• Empathize with your child to help them know their feelings are okay and that you care - “It’s normal/okay to feel sad when you see people get hurt.”
• And Problem-Solve - help your child come up with solutions or ideas - “I wonder if it would help to talk a walk or draw a picture.”
  
  

Take Good Care of Yourself

Children are always watching and learning from adults around them. It shows them what is acceptable and what is not. Consider the impact of the scary event on yourself and notice the response you are having in your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It is okay to also be challenged by the event or situation, but giving yourself the time you need to manage your own responses will not only help you, but set an example for your children to handle the current situation and future situations they encounter.

Building Resilience in Challenging times

Consider these ideas:

• Reframe the event or situation by using the Mr. Rogers method of looking for the helpers and talk about the good these people are doing.
• Talk openly about feelings, read books or watch movies to notice and discuss the feelings and responses of characters.
• Move your body - being physically active releases the feel good chemicals in our brains
• PLAY children learn, share, and interact best through play - when adults and children play together they both benefit.
  
  

A preschooler is a whole person with a big, complicated job: growing up! There are important skills they need to learn in the next few years, especially as they get ready for kindergarten. The University of Wisconsin-Madison Division of Extension recognizes grown ups as the most important teachers, and grown ups can include mothers, fathers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, or anyone else involved in the life of a preschooler. The Division of Extension offers practical tips about healthy minds and bodies, learning and changing, and relationships that we hope will increase confidence and reduce stress when it comes to raising these young kiddos.

Adapted from “Parenting the Preschooler: Cope with Scary Events” from the University of Wisconsin-Madison Division of Extension. Visit fyi.extension.wisc.edu/parentingthepreschooler for more information.