How often do we hug children or express our love? How to improve relationships with children, to be not just a parent, but also a trusted friend, with whom they feel real closeness?
Why relationships are deteriorating
When children are very young, up to three years old, they very much feel the emotional state of their mother. If she is tired, irritated, or anxious, the child will be naughty too. Also, at this time, mothers are trying to wean the babies from their hands, and the children do not understand and require attention. At the age of 6 to 11, they are very sensitive to criticism towards their friends. It is at this time that they are looking for their place among classmates or peers in the yard, trying to please friends and gain their trust.
It is important for parents not to be jealous of friends and not to protect them from communication with them, but to understand why the child chose these particular friends. Teenagers are often offended and in conflict with their parents because they want freedom and independence.
But it is possible to improve relations with children in any case and age. Here are some tips:
"Give Mommy a Rest"
Suitable for: mothers of babies up to three years old. Very often, due to constant worries and troubles, mothers emotionally burn out, get tired. Children do not understand this and demand attention, ask for their hands, cry, are capricious.
What to do: put aside household problems, talking on the phone, and pay attention to the baby. You can ask your husband, parents or sister for help with housework. Let them help mom with cleaning and washing for a while, and she will play with the child or read to him. The child understands that the outside world is not dangerous when he/she is next to the mother and then they will stay calm.
"101 praise"
Suitable for: mothers of babies up to three years old. We often tell our daughters and our son that they are smart and well done. And what else are they? You can make a list of 101 qualities in your child and talk about them every day. At this age, children learn about the world around them and themselves. They are interested in hearing praise from their parents and learning new words.
What to do: In any environment, it is better in the presence of other people, on a walk and in the kindergarten, sincerely and with smile praise your baby.
"Praise for actions"
Suitable for: mothers of children from 3 to 7 years old, to motivate them to take action, for example, to help with housework, reading.
What to do: give praise for something, explaining what for. Better instead of "You cleaned your room", say "I see you removed all the toys, it's great that the room is now clean." Notice and tell the child where he is stronger, more agile, what he does better.
The right to choose
Suitable for: mothers of children from 3 to 7 years old. At this age, children strive for independence, their main message to their parents is: "I decided so." So teach children to make decisions and be responsible.
What to do: give the right to choose. Instead of “Let's go for a walk in the park,” it is better to ask “Shall we take a walk in the park or square?”, And replace the phrase “Dress this” with “Will you wear a black jacket or a blue one today?”.
Even at this age, it is important to do something together - walk on the street, in the park, or cook dinner.
Role reversal
Suitable for: mothers of children from 7 to 11 years old. At this age, children are often not interested in doing something around the house, so it is important to make them interested.
What to do: Swap responsibilities for all family members for one day. For example, mom does what dad usually does: take out the trash, clean the garage, and dad prepares dinner and washes the dishes. The child takes turns helping the parents.
"Forgive me"
Suitable for: mothers of children from 7 to 11 years old. This will help teach children to ask for forgiveness themselves and to forgive others. It will give the child the understanding that everyone has the right to make mistakes, even parents, and this is not the end of the world.
What to do: ask forgiveness from children for rudeness, evil words, misunderstanding.
Even at this age, it is important to give compliments to children, to encourage good deeds: with chocolate, "kinder", cartoon, and not just punish for bad behavior. Once a week, you can let your child spend the whole day together exactly as he wants: go to the cinema, cafe, park, go to the forest, or watch a cartoon at home together. Just let him decide how you will spend this day.
Indirect attention
Suitable for: mothers of children from 11 to 18 years old. Children strive to move away from us at this age, to be independent and free. It is important to show that we always remember them and they are important.
What to do: make small gifts just like that, for no reason or date: a pen, an eraser, a hairpin, a keychain.
Thankful letter
Suitable for: mothers of children from 11 to 18 years old. Children are not always ready to listen to us for a long time, it seems to them that we do not understand them, but it is necessary to tell about important things.
What to do: write a letter of gratitude for a good study, help around the house, good deeds.
"21 ways to show love"
Suitable for: mothers of children from 11 to 18 years old. This will give parents an understanding of how to show their love for adult children who are not always willing to hug us and want to talk to us.
What to do: Write 21 ways you show love: cooking dinner, washing and ironing your shirt, walking together, and make them come true.
At this age, it is important to praise not only achievements but also for the efforts made, even if they were not crowned with success. But don't talk too much, teenagers don't like to listen. It is more important to just say: "You tried it, super!". You should not also persistently advise teenagers. It is more important to express your opinion, but let him make his own decision. This teaches responsibility for actions and independence. Do not push or seek to control teenagers in everything.
Conclusion
Talk to children in extended sentences. Explain everything that can be explained, communicate. If a child lives with two parents, then both of them should communicate with him. The male point of view often differs from the female, and where the mother does not understand, the father will bring in healthy grain, and vice versa.
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