6 Critical Questions Parents & Teens Should Ask Today (ywmovement.org)

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Thank you to ACEs Connection San Diego State University Group member, Maralisa Deguzman, for sharing this article.

As a former teacher-turned-youth director, I can attest to the power of sharing ideas among trusted co-workers. Why re-invent the wheel when you can “steal” great ideas from others and apply them to your own situation?  I had the opportunity to do just that recently when I sought ways to improve communication between my high school youth and their parents, and I remembered an article I’d read by my Certification class colleague, Kevin.  His premise was simple—separate the youth and parents and ask them to create questions that the other group should answer honestly, then bring everyone back together for sharing and discussion.

I was blown away by the amount and intensity of conversation these topics created, and by the willingness of each group to share personal examples and stories.

Parents:  What do we do well as parents, and what can we do differently?

Youth:

• If we make good decisions on our own, we should earn more freedom.
• Don’t be so hard on us when we make mistakes–we’re still learning!
• Let us have some de-stress time–don’t bug us right away.
• Don’t take out your bad day on us.
• If you say you’ll do something, do it.  We have to do things for you right away!
• Have a better reason than “I told you so!”
• We like when you try to comfort us and give us advice, but know when to back off.
• You provide for our needs, and help when you can to provide things we’d like to have.
• You love us unconditionally.

Youth: Why do you not trust us? (…when we’ve done nothing wrong?)

• Just because we ask questions doesn’t mean we don’t trust you.
• We know your impulse control is still developing, and it’s our job to hold you accountable so that trust is built over time.
• If you don’t give us information about what you’re doing, our imagination takes over and we fill in the blanks on our own.  The more we know, the more we trust.
• We were your age once and know many of the pressures you face.  Our concern is motivated out of our love for you!

For the entire article written by Lori Richey with the Calvery UMC in Wichita, KS, please click here