It’s that time of year – the time of year that is often described as “merry”, “bright”, and “joyful”. A popular way of spreading the joy is through cookie exchanges where we share our favorite memories and recipes with others through little wrapped packages of often artful treats. This year, I would suggest that we spread that comfort and warmth through a different kind of cookie exchange.

In their book, Fostering Resilient Learners, Kristin Souers and Pete Hall introduce a concept called “the cookie jar” – the art of giving praise. It’s part of human nature to rely on external feedback to develop a sense of worth and where we fit in the world. This may be even more true for those who have experienced toxic levels of stress and are less likely to have the skills to recognize and acknowledge their own strengths. Praise from a caring adult helps children develop positive relationships, manners, and self-esteem. Souers calls these tokens of kindness “cookies”.

While “cookies” often come from others, sometimes good self-care means sneaking some of those cookies for ourselves too! As Suze Orman says, “People have got to learn: if they don't have cookies in the cookie jar, they can't eat cookies.” Nor can they share! During this holiday season, consider the “cookies” you have received from others (and yourself) – what fills your jar? What favorite “cookies” can you share with others to assure their jar is also full?

Cookie exchanges aren’t just for the holidays anymore – help us make this a tradition that lasts all year long!

 Peace and light to you all! See you in the new year!