To read more of VICKI ZAKRZEWSKI's article, please click here.
“There is so much grief in schools right now, from the loss of staff and family members,” a wellness expert at a California County Office of Education recently told me. “We can’t touch wellness until we address the grief.” I understood this only too well, having lost my classroom aide to suicide almost 20 years ago—a loss that led me to the work I do today.
To better understand how the adults in schools can help students—and themselves—who are experiencing grief, I reached out to Dr. David Schonfeld, the founder of the National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles and the Coalition to Support Grieving Students.
The Center’s phenomenal collection of free online guides provide step-by-step instructions on how to respond to students about a school shooting, the war in Ukraine, suicide, death, and natural disasters. The Coalition expands on this work, offering information on what to say and what not to say to children who are grieving, developmental and cultural considerations, the impact on learning, and many other topics to help school communities during these tragic times. They also offer free online training and in-person services.
Vicki Zakrzewski: What advice would you give to education professionals who are not sure how to respond to grief and loss?
David Schonfeld: I think we need to acknowledge that it’s OK to be uncomfortable with grief, but that sometimes you have to do things you’re uncomfortable with when they’re important. A lot of times people will share with me this “secret” that it’s hard for them. I tell them that that’s a given.
Throughout the pandemic, I was talking with schools that had experienced large numbers of deaths of members of the school community, as well as sudden deaths of school leaders. They often would comment on how morale was poor—though it seemed obvious to me this would be expected given their situation. We just have to acknowledge that this is really tough and it’s all right to feel some discomfort. It’s all right to recognize that you don’t know exactly what to say or how to do it—but it’s not all right to not do anything.
Comments (0)