I have been more motivated to move lately. It is coming from my goddess inner part who seems to be highly invested in the body and physical health. This is something my controller has never been too concerned about. Of course, they don’t like it when I get sick because I might not be productive, but otherwise, they don’t really care. They see the body as a work horse to be used as a tool to the mind. But my goddess doesn’t see it that way. She is very much interested in movement. She wants to know what the body has to say. So she has signed me up for a gym membership. I had very little choice in the matter. It just happened. And I have been attending dance classes like Zumba and Nia. Of course, my controller complains in my head the entire time, but they can’t stop it.
I have always been a decent dancer. I have taken ballroom and Latin dance classes many times over the years. I know my love of dance is authentic because I love it despite it being something I shared with my dad. But as I settle into my body on a more consistent basis and try to rekindle my love of dance, I am reminded of how years of dissociation have impacted my body. It isn’t easy to function like others in some ways. Part of that is age-related. I am not in denial about the passing of the years. But in some ways my recovery has me aging backwards. Since I started my intense emotional expression work, my health has improved dramatically. But here are some of the patterns I have noticed.
[To read the rest of this blog post by Elisabeth, click here.]
[Image from beatingtrauma.com]
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