What is the difference between working hard and being a workaholic? Workaholism is glorified in our society and the term is often misused, making it difficult for people suffering from it to know they have a problem. Before childhood trauma research gained momentum in the 1980s and 1990s, there was no understanding of trauma and its consequences on a person’s life as adult, the link was not made between beating or neglecting a child and how it impacted the adult child’s mental health, intimacy or relationships down the road. Workaholism (also known as work addiction) can be an aftereffect of trauma. It is important to note that trauma is not the only cause for workaholism.
When we think of addictions, our mind directly goes to drugs, alcohol, gambling, shopping, overeating but rarely to workaholism. It is also called the “respectable addiction” and is often found in perfectionists who live their life addicted to pressure and productivity. Do you constantly have work on your mind? Do you procrastinate yet obsess about the work you “should be doing”? Do you work all the time, yet feel like you are not doing enough or you are lazy? Do you get anxiety thinking of the work that you are not doing? These are signs of work addiction/workaholism.
A workaholic or work addict has a compulsive need to work to the detriment of other areas of their life (relationships, family, health, sleep, etc). Even when they see the mounting negative consequences, they cannot stop, workaholism is repetitive and cannot be controlled. There is a big misconception that spending long hours in the office means you are a workaholic, you can be a workaholic without being gainfully employed, it can affect any area of a person’s life. It can be the way a person cleans their house or the way a stay-at-home parent is always on the go. In these times of COVID-19, it can be harder for people who suffer from this disorder because there is quasi no separation between work and home.
To manage prolonged trauma, an individual might develop a compulsive behavior that helps them cope with high levels of stress. The mechanism becomes maladaptive and destructive when the person is not in the traumatic situation anymore. Workaholics live the lie that their worth is determined by how much they get done. It can develop into an obsessive behavior, it is a real mental health problem that can lead a person to their death if not addressed. Karoshi is the Japanese term that translates to “death by overwork”.
Overworking can be a means for an individual to feel worthy. Adults who have experienced childhood trauma might derive their identity and self-esteem from what they do. The problem is the external validation is never enough and the workaholic just keeps chasing it. If a child is not loved for who they are (human being) they might think they have to do things to deserve love (human doing) and this might follow them into adulthood if not addressed. It is a compulsive need to achieve status and success to feel worthy. Workaholics derive their worth by the contribution they make through their work.
Working all the time and constantly being on the go can be a way of avoiding to think about difficult feelings. Parentification is the childhood trauma most connected to workaholism. When a child suffers from prolonged trauma, they live in a perpetual state of stress with no control over their life, work can become something they have control over or a means to escape their reality. They might come to believe that if they work hard enough it will bring peace in their home. They become really good students, overachievers, admired by adults and teachers but this comes at the price of anxiety and/or depression.
MY EXPERIENCE WITH WORKAHOLISM
It was a week night, I was sitting behind the counter where I could simultaneously see my clients drinking beer or palmwine in the parlour or in the yard, young people playing foosball.
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