Tagged With "Childhood"
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The Books That Helped Me Transition from Trauma to Triumph: A Book Review Series - "Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life"
Learning to find my gifts within my chaos has changed everything. Everything.
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The Books That Helped Me Transition from Trauma to Triumph: A Book Review Series – “Getting Past Your Past”
Naturally, I would at times experience panic attack symptoms, and would almost always cry. Sometimes slow tears cascading down my cheeks. Other times full-on ugly crying, requiring a pause in the action.
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The Emptiness You Feel is Trying to Tell You Something
I read a short story last week that was about emptiness and love. That funny thing that happens sometimes, happened, and three different people wrote to me within about 24 hours about… emptiness and love. They were feeling -- and I think a lot of us are feeling it -- a harsh, empty, loveless feeling that keeps swooping into their consciousness during this quarantined period, sounding the alarm that something HUGE is missing from our lives. One woman even said “I know you’ll think I’m crazy...
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The Healing Place Podcast: Barbara Rubel, MA, BCETS, D.A.A.E.T.S. - How to Help Suicide Loss Survivors & the Traumatic Impact of Suicide
Barbara Rubel is a suicide loss survivor and leading thanatologist. Thanatology is the scientific study of death. As a thanatologist, Barbara Rubel specializes in suicide loss survivor grief and educating professionals about traumatic loss. The third updated and revised edition of her book, But I Didn’t Say Goodbye: Helping families after a suicide, just launched on Amazon.
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The Healing Place Podcast - Dr. Kathleen Friend: The Greatness Chair
Kathleen Friend MD is a Child Psychiatrist, children’s author, musician and heart rhythm meditation teacher currently living in Tucson, Arizona. Her mission is to expand the paradigm of Child Psychiatry to embrace a holistic view of mind, body and spirit.
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The Healing Place Podcast - Dr. Kathleen Friend: The Greatness Chair
Kathleen Friend MD is a Child Psychiatrist, children’s author, musician and heart rhythm meditation teacher currently living in Tucson, Arizona. Her mission is to expand the paradigm of Child Psychiatry to embrace a holistic view of mind, body and spirit.
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The Healing Place Podcast - Missy Garcia: Sexuality, Leadership, Healing
Missy is passionate about empowering women with tools to come back into the true beauty of who they are, guide them to open their heart to completely loving all of themselves, and totally embracing their badass queen within. She coaches women to access their inner power, be healed from within and bring back the juiciness into their life, careers and relationships.
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The Healing Place Podcast - Shenandoah Chefalo: Garbage Bag Suitcase
What a delightful conversation Teri Wellbrock engaged in with the passionate and compassionate Shenandoah Chefalo, author of "Garbage Bag Suitcase: A Memoir" and faculty member of The Center for Trauma Resilient Communities. They dove into the depths of: the healing work of Crossnore and The Center for Trauma Resilient Communities; growing up in the foster care system; trauma-brain; 3 proven resilience-building factors; compassion approaches; and why they dislike tomatoes!
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The Importance of Connecting with Your Inner Child
When I first started therapy, every time I heard the words "inner child" I wanted to puke. First of all, the only memories I have from my childhood aren't really memories. They are home videos. I have no idea how I felt as a child, and I certainly didn't care to do so. I wanted to put all of that in the past. After all, could my so-called "inner child" really play that big of a role in my life today? Well, as it turns out, she does. Sometimes, my inner child takes over, and I become an...
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Therapy Dogs and Service Dogs: What Are They and Why Are They Important?
Therapy dogs are used in a wide variety of environments and circumstances but, broadly speaking, they are dogs whose presence is designed to help alleviate stress, promote feelings of well-being and sometimes help with a process of rehabilitation or healing in humans other than their owners.
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Therapy with Neurofeedback
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/02/04/689747637/if-youre-often-angry-or-irritable-you-may-be-depressed My response to the above article from NPR: Depression is the word people use when they feel bad. What people in this piece are struggling to understand is that depression is not one thing or in fact “a thing” at all. It’s certainly not a useful diagnosis. DSM diagnosis constricts our understanding rather than enhancing it. Here they are struggling to understand states of...
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To Heal CPTSD, Do You Need to Love Yourself?
One of the messages that’s been drilled into us by popular culture is that “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else.” This is something people tell you when you get your heart broken and you feel like you must be… no good! And for a lot of years, every time I heard this I felt like a different species than everyone else. Because there were times when I didn’t particularly love myself – and here and there when I was younger, times when I hated myself. But there was a never...
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To Help Heal Trauma, Talk Less, and Write More
For a lot of people with Childhood PTSD, talking about traumatic memories can make symptoms worse -- worse than if we were to do nothing at all. Yet talking about the past is the default mode of therapy for virtually everyone who is depressed, anxious or troubled about the past. It's true that talking can be crucial to emotional healing. But there is a lot of research that supports WRITING as a more effective way to communicate past trauma and relieve symptoms of Childhood PTSD. In this...
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Toxic Childhood? 5 Spiritual Exercises to Heal the Soul [psychologytoday.com]
Laura's Note: Though most of author Peg Streep's work focuses on mother-daughter relationships, the ideas in the following article could work well for anyone. How to bolster and support recovery with simple steps. For the last two decades, I’ve turned my attention to the mother-daughter relationships in all of its iterations but with a specific focus on the damage done to a daughter when a mother is unloving, emotionally distant, self-involved, controlling. hypercritical, or dismissive. At a...
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Toxic Childhood? 5 Ways to Jump-Start Your Healing in 2019 [blogs.psychcentral.com]
I’m a great believer in fresh starts, especially if you’re a work-in-progress and healing from childhood wounds and you’re feeling stuck, as everyone does now and again. To that end, I look to the start of a new month as a blank page, the start of a new season which always has a different kind of energy, and, of course, the biggest start-your-engines of them all, the New Year. But I’m not talking traditional resolutions here (because they don’t work, for one thing); instead, let’s focus on...
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Transforming Trauma Podcast: The Blind Spots of Privilege and Complex Trauma in Marginalized Communities
Transforming Trauma Podcast: The Blind Spots of Privilege and Complex Trauma in Marginalized Communities Claude Cayemitte, a clinical social worker and NARM Therapist, joins the Transforming Trauma podcast to examine how complex trauma impacts individuals from marginalized communities and how unrecognized cultural trauma can lead to misattunement in the therapeutic relationship. Using the NeuroAffective Relational Model as a foundation, and his own background as a Haitian-American male...
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Vacancy: Self-Worth in the Mind of a Childhood Abuse Survivor
The feeling of having a healthy supply of self-worth is something I can only imagine might have been more readily available, natural and automatic if I was able to see that in myself as a child. As an adult survivor of childhood abuse, self-worth was not supplied in healthy doses while growing up.
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Victim to Victory: Memoir
I wrote Victim to Victory, healing generational abuse from my bloodline, during a seven-year journey of being very sick. I am not a writer. I am a healer. In those years of losing my ability to walk and having my family abandon me I turned inward, asking why and how do I get out of this straight jacket. I did everything imaginable, but the pain was chronic and my will was losing strength. In my darkest hours, I would hear a voice during my meditations. I had nothing to lose, so I followed...
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Why It Pays to Fully Heal from Childhood Trauma [pro.psychcentral.com/exhausted-woman]
Janet reflected on the events of the past several days and instead of being embarrassed by her behavior, she was proud. She had purchased a new computer from a large retailer based on the specs and appearance. But when she began to use it, she discovered the store had done a bait and switch. They told her one thing about the product and sold her something completely different. After doing several rounds with their customer service and management department, she was told that the computer she...
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5 Things Childhood Trauma Survivors Need in Order to Heal [themighty.com]
I spent many years absorbing the blame for my abusive family, and exhausted every possible avenue of attempting to “get along” with them. When I finally went no contact, it took another 10 years to feel safe enough to fully embrace my past and grieve. Even though I thought I had done quite a bit of work along the way, it has taken an entire lifetime for me to come to terms with certain aspects of the abuse. Some memories were locked away, some were buried under misplaced guilt and shame.
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Are You Re-Traumatizing Yourself? 16 Things We Do That Can Set Us Back with Childhood PTSD
Part of the damage from abuse and neglect in childhood is what actually happened when we were kids. But a significant part of the problem today comes from what I call "Inside Traumas." These are self-defeating behaviors that are common to people who are frequently in a state of dysregulation. They start as an innocent attempt to feel calm and stable, but they can grow into significant traumas that cause real problems for us and others. If you'd like to learn about my online course, Healing...
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Childhood PTSD and Avoidance: Learning to Be OK in Groups (Resilience Series)
It’s super common for those of us who grew up with abuse and neglect when we were small, to feel as adults that we are on the outside somehow. When we're in groups we feel as if we are only partly in it, and never really included . Or we start as a full participant but pull away over time. We un-include ourselves. But it feel like other people are keeping us out. The telltale sign that being on the outside could be a personal choice, even when it doesn’t feel like it, is that we’re almost...
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CPTSD and Procrastination: Healing the Feeling of Paralysis (Resilience Series)
Have you ever had the experience where you know you should do something -- like go to work on time, or get ready for an important meeting, or just brush your teeth before bed -- but you just couldn't do it? Everybody procrastinates sometimes, but for people who experienced abuse and neglect in childhood, procrastinating can morph into a kind of paralysis. I’ve had this happen; I’ve spent whole seasons in this place before. And it's so demoralizing when it’s happening to know that you’re here...
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CPTSD and Social Awkwardness: Another Source of Isolation
For those of us who grew up with abuse and neglect at home, it can be hard to know how to ACT in social situations. Here's an example.... Have you ever been to a hotel where there is a person who is there to carry your bags, and even though you didn’t ask, they carry your bags to the room and it’s totally awkward, and you think “I’m supposed to give them a tip, right? I’ve, like seen this on TV. But you don’t have cash, and they’re just standing there ," and you think, "What do I do? What do...
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CPTSD Confusion: How to Get Clarity in All Your Relationships (Resilience Series)
One of the the most common, painful adult manifestations of Childhood PTSD is difficulty perceiving reality accurately, especially around the meaning of interactions we have with other people. We have trouble sometimes predicting that a choice is risky, or that a person we meet is unreliable, or whether our own sense of discomfort is an appropriate response. This is the sixth article and video in my resilience series, focusing on eight obstacles to healing from childhood trauma, and the...
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CPTSD: How to Transform Fear, and Develop INNER STRENGTH
Now that the pandemic has us all in a crisis situation, we’re about to find out to find out who falls apart in a crisis, and who rises up to serve, lead and encourage others. The ones who shine are not always who we expected — have you noticed this? Here in California we’ve been sheltering in place for over two weeks now. Everywhere in the world, we’re trying to figure out how best to respond to the pandemic, how best to care for ourselves and the people we love. It’s a work in progress. For...
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Depression & Moving Past Your Past [hopetocope.com]
When your present life feels limited by things that happened in your childhood, it’s time to find the tools and techniques to help you thrive. For better or worse, things that happen to us in childhood can shape our reactions as adults—in ways we’re not always aware of. When Katie ended up unemployed last year, she got mired in beliefs she’d absorbed as a girl linking solvency to self-worth. “To be foolish with money, in my father’s eyes, was one of the greatest sins,” she says. “To not be...
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Do You Need Spirituality to Recover from CPTSD?
During a break in taping my new course on dating and relationships, I recorded this story about how hard it can be to change the self-defeating patterns that so often flow from Childhood PTSD. I talk about one summer when I was working hard to get through a dark time, and then a miracle took me by surprise. You can learn the writing/meditation techniques I mention as a source of daily healing, here . You can access my articles, courses and resources for people with Childhood PTSD on my blog,...
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Dysregulation & CPTSD -- Triggered by Hurrying and Overwhelm?
Note: This article is a transcript of a video excerpted from my online course Dysregulation Bootcamp. Brain and emotional dysregulation are common in adults who experienced abuse and neglect in childhoodhood, and is linked to problems with mood, mental focus, health and relationships. Hurrying is a huge trigger for a lot of people with Childhood PTSD -- everything from trying to get out the door in the morning, to rushing through traffic, to just getting overwhelmed with everything you’re...
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Free Webinars Teach You to Calm Brain Dysregulation From Childhood PTSD
I've just scheduled five free Zoom webinars in the next four weeks, open to you and others interested in learning and trying my "Daily Practice." These are the techniques I've used for more than 25 years to re-regulate my brain and emotions, supporting the healing of Childhood PTSD. There are two particular and simple techniques we'll cover in each 55-minute webinar: 1. Writing fears and resentments 2. 20-minute simple meditation Plus time for Q&A with me Get more info and register here.
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How Adverse Childhood Experiences Affect You as an Adult [psychologytoday.com]
What are adverse childhood experiences and how do they impact us later in life? In California, where I live and work as a sex and intimacy disorders specialist, there is a movement for mandatory adverse childhood experiences (ACES) assessment in all public and private medical and psychotherapeutic settings. So, regardless of an adult patient’s presenting issue(s) – medical, psychological, or both – clinicians would screen for childhood trauma. The reason for this push, which I strongly...
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How Adverse Childhood Experiences Affect You as an Adult [psychologytoday.com]
What are adverse childhood experiences and how do they impact us later in life? In California, where I live and work as a sex and intimacy disorders specialist, there is a movement for mandatory adverse childhood experiences (ACES) assessment in all public and private medical and psychotherapeutic settings. So, regardless of an adult patient’s presenting issue(s) – medical, psychological, or both – clinicians would screen for childhood trauma. The reason for this push, which I strongly...
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How Therapy Helps You Recover from Childhood Trauma and Abuse [talkspace.com]
If you experienced trauma or abuse during childhood, you might wonder if you should seek therapy . But maybe you are too busy to commute to appointments. You don’t even have any time to feel everything, much less talk about it. Then there are the plethora of worries people sometimes have when they consider working with a therapist. You might think, “What if I end up feeling worse? What if the therapist thinks I don’t have any problems? Am I exaggerating my experiences?” Then you start...
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How to Deal With Childhood Trauma and Build More Meaningful Adult Relationships [scmp.com]
By Luisa Tam, South China Morning Post, October 27, 2019 Unresolved childhood issues that often lie dormant for years can suddenly come flooding back. Not only can this be painful for the individual, but it can hurt our relationships with other people, especially romantic ones. They say a difficult childhood can have many lifelong negative effects, such as the inability to form meaningful and long-lasting relationships, build trust, or intimacy with another person. We all desire love and...
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Inside the Adverse Childhood Experience Score: Strengths, Limitations, and Misapplications [ajpmonline.org]
By Robert F. Anda, Laura E. Porter, David W. Brown, et al., American Journal of Preventive Medicine, March 25, 2020 INTRODUCTION Despite its usefulness in research and surveillance studies, the Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) score is a relatively crude measure of cumulative childhood stress exposure that can vary widely from person to person. Unlike recognized public health screening measures, such as blood pressure or lipid levels that use measurement reference standards and cut points...
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It Makes Sense
I felt inadequate and ill-prepared to speak to licensed mental health professionals about ACEs. But when I was asked to attend the 40th Annual Training Institute on Behavioral Health & Addictive Disorders in Clearwater, Florida to represent ACEs Connection, I was honored and eager. My background is in health planning, not mental or behavioral health. I review health data and look for gaps and inequities. My time is spent looking for and addressing the health needs of a community. So,...
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Pip had high #ACEs
I just finished reading Great Expectations for the second time. I could relate to it much easier this reading as I used an ACEs lens to understand Pip's experiences and challenges. Dickens knew in 1860 the effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences. It seems strange to see humanity hasn't really evolved emotionally and socially that much in 160 years. Hopefully the ACEs movement will help propel our consciousness raising.
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Positivities of Persistence Series: Persistence & Positivity Defined
While some scholars may attribute persistence to a need for control, I like to take the stance with those who look at persistence as a will to not give up. More and more research is emerging on resilience and its positive impact in off-setting ACEs (adverse childhood experiences), even learned resilience skills in adulthood.
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Resentment: A Trigger for CPTSD and Dysregulation
What’s the difference between anger and resentment in Childhood PTSD? Is it really so wrong to be resentful? Isn’t there a risk of becoming a forgiving “doormat” if you lose the resentment you carry against those who wronged you? In this video I explain the everyday toxicity of resentful thoughts, and how to use my Daily Practice to release resentment and fear, and gain more clarity, and more power to make choices in life. You can learn my techniques for releasing fear and resentment, and...
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Seven Benefits of Working with a Therapy Animal from a Handler's Perspective
Sometimes I feel selfish for walking away from our therapy dog sessions with my heart overflowing with joy, a smile radiating from my face AND heart. I love watching this dog turn a child’s tears into giggles. Sammie has a thing for kids. Her tail wags every time she sees one. Whether we are walking the halls at a school or the trails at a nature preserve. She wants to meet them all and offer a snuggle. As a result, her tail thumps in canine happiness, and I just can’t help but grin.
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Seven Strategies I Use To Reregulate As Anxiety Symptoms Surface
So, how does Teri Wellbrock bring herself back into a state of calm once the anticipatory anxiety has been triggered? Here is Teri's personal go-to list. Please keep in mind she created this plan on a trial and error basis. She loaded her coping skills toolbox with exercises, fidgets, courses, books, therapy suggestions, and techniques discovered through personal research. Following is her top seven strategies, however, please note that she has a much larger bag-o-tricks to pull from if needed.
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Sick and Stressed from CPTSD? Power Up Your SELF CARE (Resilience Series)
I’ve been talking about resilience in recent posts — the obstacles that hold back recovery, and the strengths we need to keep healing. Last week the topic was fear. In this post (and the video that goes with it) I want to go up a layer to the next strength, and that’s self-care . I used to think self-care was just hot baths and chocolate for people whose problems were so small that this would actually solve them. But 25 years of continuous healing and strength-building has taught me that,...
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Sick and Stressed from CPTSD? Power Up Your SELF CARE (Resilience Series)
I’ve been talking about resilience in recent posts — the obstacles that hold back recovery, and the strengths we need to keep healing. Last week the topic was fear. In this post (and the video that goes with it) I want to go up a layer to the next strength, and that’s self-care . I used to think self-care was just hot baths and chocolate for people whose problems were so small that this would actually solve them. But 25 years of continuous healing and strength-building has taught me that,...
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Six Signs Your Brain is Dysregulated (and Ten Steps to Get Re-Regulated Again)
Adults who experienced early trauma are prone to dysregulation of the brain and nervous system, especially in response to stress. Dysregulation, in turn, can trigger (or exacerbate) depression, anxiety, illness, addiction and emotional outbursts. So clearly, learning to re-regulate is the first step in healing the effects of Childhood PTSD. If you think you may be experiencing dysregulation, learn about common symptoms (as well as ten on-the-spot healing techniques) on this free download.
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The A-List with Alison Lebovitz, Episode 1105: Dr. Bruce Perry [pbs.org]
By Alison Lebovitz, Public Broadcasting System, November 22, 2019 Join Alison Lebovitz as she interviews Dr. Bruce Perry. Dr. Bruce D. Perry is an American psychiatrist, currently the Senior Fellow of the Child Trauma Academy in Houston, Texas and an Adjunct Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago, Illinois. A clinician and researcher in children's mental health and the neurosciences, from 1993-2001 he was the Thomas S. Trammell Research...
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“You Turned Out Fine:” How People Marginalize the Effects of a Toxic Childhood [blogs.psychcentral.com]
Laura's Note: Though the author is addressing toxic mother-daughter relationships, much of what she writes here can apply more broadly to other types of relationships and traumas. If I had a twenty-dollar bill for every time someone tells me that my mother “must have done something right” because I “turned out fine,” I could probably retire tomorrow in luxury. This came up during an interview recently, as if where I went to college and graduate school and have accomplished in my professional...
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Re: Toxic Childhood? 5 Ways to Jump-Start Your Healing in 2019 [blogs.psychcentral.com]
Great Article! Appreciate the words about "letting go" being hard work.
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Re: Toxic Childhood? 5 Ways to Jump-Start Your Healing in 2019 [blogs.psychcentral.com]
Glad you enjoyed the article, Heidi. Yes, anyone who acknowledges how hard letting go is, and that it's a complicated process rather than a single action, certainly has my attention!
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Re: It Makes Sense
You knew about something many of the attendees didn't know about but can now put to good use. This is a reminder that you don't necessarily have to be a trained clinician, physician, nurse, or public health researcher to get the word out about the ACEs study and its compelling results. Thank you, Jennifer, for taking advantage of an opportunity to share that knowledge at the conference and for telling us about your experience with that here.