Tagged With "childhood neglect"
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The Books That Helped Me Transition from Trauma to Triumph: A Book Review Series - "Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life"
Learning to find my gifts within my chaos has changed everything. Everything.
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The Books That Helped Me Transition from Trauma to Triumph: A Book Review Series – “Getting Past Your Past”
Naturally, I would at times experience panic attack symptoms, and would almost always cry. Sometimes slow tears cascading down my cheeks. Other times full-on ugly crying, requiring a pause in the action.
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The Colors of Wellness [psychologytoday.com]
The idea of diversity in wellness is a topic that is near and dear to me, and in my view, does not garner nearly as much attention as it should. Although there have been some studies , it is difficult to have an objective discussion because of sparse data. The anecdotal accounts , however, are abundant. Wellness, as we understand it today, was introduced in 1959 by Halbert Dunn’s article “ High-Level Wellness for Man & Society .” Dunn’s writing, from over fifty years ago, began to...
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The Effects of Trauma from “Growing up Too Fast” [blogs.psychcentral.com]
One of the most common euphemisms and justifications for a certain type of childhood trauma is “growing up too fast.” It is a euphemism because it is used to minimize the pain that the person felt as a child when their needs weren’t being met by describing it in seemingly neutral or even positive language. It’s a justification because it is often used to argue that growing up faster and becoming “mature beyond your years” is indeed a good thing. We will explore and address all of this here.
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The Emptiness You Feel is Trying to Tell You Something
I read a short story last week that was about emptiness and love. That funny thing that happens sometimes, happened, and three different people wrote to me within about 24 hours about… emptiness and love. They were feeling -- and I think a lot of us are feeling it -- a harsh, empty, loveless feeling that keeps swooping into their consciousness during this quarantined period, sounding the alarm that something HUGE is missing from our lives. One woman even said “I know you’ll think I’m crazy...
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The Healing Place Podcast: Barbara Rubel, MA, BCETS, D.A.A.E.T.S. - How to Help Suicide Loss Survivors & the Traumatic Impact of Suicide
Barbara Rubel is a suicide loss survivor and leading thanatologist. Thanatology is the scientific study of death. As a thanatologist, Barbara Rubel specializes in suicide loss survivor grief and educating professionals about traumatic loss. The third updated and revised edition of her book, But I Didn’t Say Goodbye: Helping families after a suicide, just launched on Amazon.
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The Healing Place Podcast - Dr. Kathleen Friend: The Greatness Chair
Kathleen Friend MD is a Child Psychiatrist, children’s author, musician and heart rhythm meditation teacher currently living in Tucson, Arizona. Her mission is to expand the paradigm of Child Psychiatry to embrace a holistic view of mind, body and spirit.
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The Healing Place Podcast - Dr. Kathleen Friend: The Greatness Chair
Kathleen Friend MD is a Child Psychiatrist, children’s author, musician and heart rhythm meditation teacher currently living in Tucson, Arizona. Her mission is to expand the paradigm of Child Psychiatry to embrace a holistic view of mind, body and spirit.
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The Healing Place Podcast - Missy Garcia: Sexuality, Leadership, Healing
Missy is passionate about empowering women with tools to come back into the true beauty of who they are, guide them to open their heart to completely loving all of themselves, and totally embracing their badass queen within. She coaches women to access their inner power, be healed from within and bring back the juiciness into their life, careers and relationships.
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The Healing Place Podcast - Shenandoah Chefalo: Garbage Bag Suitcase
What a delightful conversation Teri Wellbrock engaged in with the passionate and compassionate Shenandoah Chefalo, author of "Garbage Bag Suitcase: A Memoir" and faculty member of The Center for Trauma Resilient Communities. They dove into the depths of: the healing work of Crossnore and The Center for Trauma Resilient Communities; growing up in the foster care system; trauma-brain; 3 proven resilience-building factors; compassion approaches; and why they dislike tomatoes!
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The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
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The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
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The Importance of Connecting with Your Inner Child
When I first started therapy, every time I heard the words "inner child" I wanted to puke. First of all, the only memories I have from my childhood aren't really memories. They are home videos. I have no idea how I felt as a child, and I certainly didn't care to do so. I wanted to put all of that in the past. After all, could my so-called "inner child" really play that big of a role in my life today? Well, as it turns out, she does. Sometimes, my inner child takes over, and I become an...
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The Soulful Journey of Recovery is out TODAY!!!
A groundbreaking new book from the publisher of the New York Times bestseller Adult Children of Alcoholics …The book that started it all! "Tian Dayton picks up where Janet Woititz author of Adult Children of Alcoholics left off…..for those who have grown up in a family with addiction, mental illness, or other adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), the heartache and pain doesn’t end when they grow up and leave home. The legacy can last a lifetime and spread to generations unseen. In The...
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Therapy Dogs and Service Dogs: What Are They and Why Are They Important?
Therapy dogs are used in a wide variety of environments and circumstances but, broadly speaking, they are dogs whose presence is designed to help alleviate stress, promote feelings of well-being and sometimes help with a process of rehabilitation or healing in humans other than their owners.
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Therapy with Neurofeedback
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/02/04/689747637/if-youre-often-angry-or-irritable-you-may-be-depressed My response to the above article from NPR: Depression is the word people use when they feel bad. What people in this piece are struggling to understand is that depression is not one thing or in fact “a thing” at all. It’s certainly not a useful diagnosis. DSM diagnosis constricts our understanding rather than enhancing it. Here they are struggling to understand states of...
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To Heal CPTSD, Do You Need to Love Yourself?
One of the messages that’s been drilled into us by popular culture is that “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else.” This is something people tell you when you get your heart broken and you feel like you must be… no good! And for a lot of years, every time I heard this I felt like a different species than everyone else. Because there were times when I didn’t particularly love myself – and here and there when I was younger, times when I hated myself. But there was a never...
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To Help Heal Trauma, Talk Less, and Write More
For a lot of people with Childhood PTSD, talking about traumatic memories can make symptoms worse -- worse than if we were to do nothing at all. Yet talking about the past is the default mode of therapy for virtually everyone who is depressed, anxious or troubled about the past. It's true that talking can be crucial to emotional healing. But there is a lot of research that supports WRITING as a more effective way to communicate past trauma and relieve symptoms of Childhood PTSD. In this...
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Toxic Childhood? 5 Spiritual Exercises to Heal the Soul [psychologytoday.com]
Laura's Note: Though most of author Peg Streep's work focuses on mother-daughter relationships, the ideas in the following article could work well for anyone. How to bolster and support recovery with simple steps. For the last two decades, I’ve turned my attention to the mother-daughter relationships in all of its iterations but with a specific focus on the damage done to a daughter when a mother is unloving, emotionally distant, self-involved, controlling. hypercritical, or dismissive. At a...
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Toxic Childhood? 5 Ways to Jump-Start Your Healing in 2019 [blogs.psychcentral.com]
I’m a great believer in fresh starts, especially if you’re a work-in-progress and healing from childhood wounds and you’re feeling stuck, as everyone does now and again. To that end, I look to the start of a new month as a blank page, the start of a new season which always has a different kind of energy, and, of course, the biggest start-your-engines of them all, the New Year. But I’m not talking traditional resolutions here (because they don’t work, for one thing); instead, let’s focus on...
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Transcending Childhood Trauma [thefix.com]
"All healing is release from the past. It is enough to heal the past and make the future free. It is enough to let the present be accepted as it is." Course of Miracles Most addicts have survived some form of childhood trauma. In recovery, they must make an effort to heal the wounds of the past. They must also accept the fact that this is an inside job. Nothing outside of themselves is going to heal them. Therapy and support groups are supportive environments, but addicts have to do all the...
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Transforming Trauma Podcast: The Blind Spots of Privilege and Complex Trauma in Marginalized Communities
Transforming Trauma Podcast: The Blind Spots of Privilege and Complex Trauma in Marginalized Communities Claude Cayemitte, a clinical social worker and NARM Therapist, joins the Transforming Trauma podcast to examine how complex trauma impacts individuals from marginalized communities and how unrecognized cultural trauma can lead to misattunement in the therapeutic relationship. Using the NeuroAffective Relational Model as a foundation, and his own background as a Haitian-American male...
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Trauma, Attachment, and Relationships
Interventions in the Attachment and Relationship Problems Trauma Can Cause Julie De Wilde Alfred Adler Graduate School Abstract Much research has been done on the negative effects of trauma on attachment, which then has negative effects on relationships. Research more recently has focused on the positive post traumatic growth that can happen when clients receive safe, healthy attachment to a therapist they can trust. Research also includes the benefits to the client when a therapist includes...
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Vacancy: Self-Worth in the Mind of a Childhood Abuse Survivor
The feeling of having a healthy supply of self-worth is something I can only imagine might have been more readily available, natural and automatic if I was able to see that in myself as a child. As an adult survivor of childhood abuse, self-worth was not supplied in healthy doses while growing up.
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Victim to Victory: Memoir
I wrote Victim to Victory, healing generational abuse from my bloodline, during a seven-year journey of being very sick. I am not a writer. I am a healer. In those years of losing my ability to walk and having my family abandon me I turned inward, asking why and how do I get out of this straight jacket. I did everything imaginable, but the pain was chronic and my will was losing strength. In my darkest hours, I would hear a voice during my meditations. I had nothing to lose, so I followed...
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What is Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD)?
Most people have heard of post-traumatic stress disorder that afflicts many men and women returning from a war zone. It is characterized by flashbacks, unstable moods, and survivor’s remorse. However, many have never heard of a condition that often develops in childhood and changes the course of the child’s life forever, complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD). For a good definition of CPTSD, we turned to Beauty After Bruises, an organization that offers outreach focused on adult...
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Why It Pays to Fully Heal from Childhood Trauma [pro.psychcentral.com/exhausted-woman]
Janet reflected on the events of the past several days and instead of being embarrassed by her behavior, she was proud. She had purchased a new computer from a large retailer based on the specs and appearance. But when she began to use it, she discovered the store had done a bait and switch. They told her one thing about the product and sold her something completely different. After doing several rounds with their customer service and management department, she was told that the computer she...
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5 Things Childhood Trauma Survivors Need in Order to Heal [themighty.com]
I spent many years absorbing the blame for my abusive family, and exhausted every possible avenue of attempting to “get along” with them. When I finally went no contact, it took another 10 years to feel safe enough to fully embrace my past and grieve. Even though I thought I had done quite a bit of work along the way, it has taken an entire lifetime for me to come to terms with certain aspects of the abuse. Some memories were locked away, some were buried under misplaced guilt and shame.
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6 Signs Your Past Childhood Trauma Is Making You Physically Sick [yourtango.com]
There may be more to your illness than you think. Can't figure out why you're always sick? Child abuse and neglect both contribute to childhood trauma, but what if the effects of these follow you to adulthood in the form of a physical illness? There is a scientific link between illness and childhood abuse and neglect — whether it's physical, emotional, or sexual. The effects of victimization are far-reaching — especially when it begins before the age of seven. Current science shows the...
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Are You Re-Traumatizing Yourself? 16 Things We Do That Can Set Us Back with Childhood PTSD
Part of the damage from abuse and neglect in childhood is what actually happened when we were kids. But a significant part of the problem today comes from what I call "Inside Traumas." These are self-defeating behaviors that are common to people who are frequently in a state of dysregulation. They start as an innocent attempt to feel calm and stable, but they can grow into significant traumas that cause real problems for us and others. If you'd like to learn about my online course, Healing...
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Childhood PTSD and Avoidance: Learning to Be OK in Groups (Resilience Series)
It’s super common for those of us who grew up with abuse and neglect when we were small, to feel as adults that we are on the outside somehow. When we're in groups we feel as if we are only partly in it, and never really included . Or we start as a full participant but pull away over time. We un-include ourselves. But it feel like other people are keeping us out. The telltale sign that being on the outside could be a personal choice, even when it doesn’t feel like it, is that we’re almost...
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CPTSD and Procrastination: Healing the Feeling of Paralysis (Resilience Series)
Have you ever had the experience where you know you should do something -- like go to work on time, or get ready for an important meeting, or just brush your teeth before bed -- but you just couldn't do it? Everybody procrastinates sometimes, but for people who experienced abuse and neglect in childhood, procrastinating can morph into a kind of paralysis. I’ve had this happen; I’ve spent whole seasons in this place before. And it's so demoralizing when it’s happening to know that you’re here...
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CPTSD and Social Awkwardness: Another Source of Isolation
For those of us who grew up with abuse and neglect at home, it can be hard to know how to ACT in social situations. Here's an example.... Have you ever been to a hotel where there is a person who is there to carry your bags, and even though you didn’t ask, they carry your bags to the room and it’s totally awkward, and you think “I’m supposed to give them a tip, right? I’ve, like seen this on TV. But you don’t have cash, and they’re just standing there ," and you think, "What do I do? What do...
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CPTSD Confusion: How to Get Clarity in All Your Relationships (Resilience Series)
One of the the most common, painful adult manifestations of Childhood PTSD is difficulty perceiving reality accurately, especially around the meaning of interactions we have with other people. We have trouble sometimes predicting that a choice is risky, or that a person we meet is unreliable, or whether our own sense of discomfort is an appropriate response. This is the sixth article and video in my resilience series, focusing on eight obstacles to healing from childhood trauma, and the...
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CPTSD: How to Transform Fear, and Develop INNER STRENGTH
Now that the pandemic has us all in a crisis situation, we’re about to find out to find out who falls apart in a crisis, and who rises up to serve, lead and encourage others. The ones who shine are not always who we expected — have you noticed this? Here in California we’ve been sheltering in place for over two weeks now. Everywhere in the world, we’re trying to figure out how best to respond to the pandemic, how best to care for ourselves and the people we love. It’s a work in progress. For...
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Depression & Moving Past Your Past [hopetocope.com]
When your present life feels limited by things that happened in your childhood, it’s time to find the tools and techniques to help you thrive. For better or worse, things that happen to us in childhood can shape our reactions as adults—in ways we’re not always aware of. When Katie ended up unemployed last year, she got mired in beliefs she’d absorbed as a girl linking solvency to self-worth. “To be foolish with money, in my father’s eyes, was one of the greatest sins,” she says. “To not be...
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Do You Need Spirituality to Recover from CPTSD?
During a break in taping my new course on dating and relationships, I recorded this story about how hard it can be to change the self-defeating patterns that so often flow from Childhood PTSD. I talk about one summer when I was working hard to get through a dark time, and then a miracle took me by surprise. You can learn the writing/meditation techniques I mention as a source of daily healing, here . You can access my articles, courses and resources for people with Childhood PTSD on my blog,...
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Dysregulation & CPTSD -- Triggered by Hurrying and Overwhelm?
Note: This article is a transcript of a video excerpted from my online course Dysregulation Bootcamp. Brain and emotional dysregulation are common in adults who experienced abuse and neglect in childhoodhood, and is linked to problems with mood, mental focus, health and relationships. Hurrying is a huge trigger for a lot of people with Childhood PTSD -- everything from trying to get out the door in the morning, to rushing through traffic, to just getting overwhelmed with everything you’re...
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Free Webinars Teach You to Calm Brain Dysregulation From Childhood PTSD
I've just scheduled five free Zoom webinars in the next four weeks, open to you and others interested in learning and trying my "Daily Practice." These are the techniques I've used for more than 25 years to re-regulate my brain and emotions, supporting the healing of Childhood PTSD. There are two particular and simple techniques we'll cover in each 55-minute webinar: 1. Writing fears and resentments 2. 20-minute simple meditation Plus time for Q&A with me Get more info and register here.
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How Adverse Childhood Experiences Affect You as an Adult [psychologytoday.com]
What are adverse childhood experiences and how do they impact us later in life? In California, where I live and work as a sex and intimacy disorders specialist, there is a movement for mandatory adverse childhood experiences (ACES) assessment in all public and private medical and psychotherapeutic settings. So, regardless of an adult patient’s presenting issue(s) – medical, psychological, or both – clinicians would screen for childhood trauma. The reason for this push, which I strongly...
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How Adverse Childhood Experiences Affect You as an Adult [psychologytoday.com]
What are adverse childhood experiences and how do they impact us later in life? In California, where I live and work as a sex and intimacy disorders specialist, there is a movement for mandatory adverse childhood experiences (ACES) assessment in all public and private medical and psychotherapeutic settings. So, regardless of an adult patient’s presenting issue(s) – medical, psychological, or both – clinicians would screen for childhood trauma. The reason for this push, which I strongly...
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How Therapy Helps You Recover from Childhood Trauma and Abuse [talkspace.com]
If you experienced trauma or abuse during childhood, you might wonder if you should seek therapy . But maybe you are too busy to commute to appointments. You don’t even have any time to feel everything, much less talk about it. Then there are the plethora of worries people sometimes have when they consider working with a therapist. You might think, “What if I end up feeling worse? What if the therapist thinks I don’t have any problems? Am I exaggerating my experiences?” Then you start...
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How to Deal With Childhood Trauma and Build More Meaningful Adult Relationships [scmp.com]
By Luisa Tam, South China Morning Post, October 27, 2019 Unresolved childhood issues that often lie dormant for years can suddenly come flooding back. Not only can this be painful for the individual, but it can hurt our relationships with other people, especially romantic ones. They say a difficult childhood can have many lifelong negative effects, such as the inability to form meaningful and long-lasting relationships, build trust, or intimacy with another person. We all desire love and...
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How Trauma Therapy Cultivated My Recovery
I was 5 years old when I had my first encounter with trauma. Too young to comprehend the magnitude of the situation, my first grade class participated in a “Good Touch/Bad Touch” workshop,centered around educating and recognizing signs of sexual abuse. I found relief in finding a safe place to lay down the burden I had been carrying. I went straight to the school counselor and told her, in vivid description, the intimate details of my unwarranted molestation. I remember the grueling...
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“I Like to Move It, Move It!” – How Dance and Rhythm Can Reduce the Impact of ACEs (stresshealth.org)
As it is, more and more researchers studying the healing power of rhythmic movement on people who’ve experienced trauma from Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), such as abuse, neglect, or parental mental illness or substance abuse issues. Among these researchers is Dr. Bruce Perry, a psychiatrist and senior fellow at the Child Trauma Academy in Houston who advocates dance, drumming, walking and other rhythm-based movements to help kids with trauma. In a book about trauma and the power of...
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Inside the Adverse Childhood Experience Score: Strengths, Limitations, and Misapplications [ajpmonline.org]
By Robert F. Anda, Laura E. Porter, David W. Brown, et al., American Journal of Preventive Medicine, March 25, 2020 INTRODUCTION Despite its usefulness in research and surveillance studies, the Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) score is a relatively crude measure of cumulative childhood stress exposure that can vary widely from person to person. Unlike recognized public health screening measures, such as blood pressure or lipid levels that use measurement reference standards and cut points...
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It Makes Sense
I felt inadequate and ill-prepared to speak to licensed mental health professionals about ACEs. But when I was asked to attend the 40th Annual Training Institute on Behavioral Health & Addictive Disorders in Clearwater, Florida to represent ACEs Connection, I was honored and eager. My background is in health planning, not mental or behavioral health. I review health data and look for gaps and inequities. My time is spent looking for and addressing the health needs of a community. So,...
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3 Steps Toward Managing And Healing Anxiety
I've struggled with anxiety throughout my life. A difficult childhood and my highly sensitive personality meant I grew into an anxious kid—there was just too much pain and emotional overwhelm for my young brain to handle. My anxiety most often manifested as perfectionism and people pleasing, so from the outside everything seemed great. I excelled in school and I was a good kid who did as she was told. But there was a war inside me. I felt broken, unable to navigate these huge feelings of...
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Need 45 Trauma-Informed Practitioners or Clinicians For Study on Using a Brain Regulation Headband-Bellabee Designed To Help Trauma Survivors Regulate Their Brains.
Need 45 Trauma-Informed Practitioners or Clinicians For Study on Using a Brain Regulation Headband-Bellabee Designed To Help Trauma Survivors Regulate Their Brains. All trauma informed practitioners who are suffering with or who work with adults or children suffering with C-PTSD, PTSD, Developmental Trauma, Depression, Anxiety, ADHD & Sleep Disorders are welcome to apply to be considered for this study. The deadline to request and submit your application is: March 20, 2020 As a trauma...
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Need 45 Trauma-Informed Practitioners or Clinicians For Study on Using a Brain Regulation Headband-Bellabee Designed To Help Trauma Survivors Regulate Their Brains.
Need 45 Trauma-Informed Practitioners or Clinicians For Study on Using a Brain Regulation Headband-Bellabee Designed To Help Trauma Survivors Regulate Their Brains. All trauma informed practitioners who are suffering with or who work with adults or children suffering with C-PTSD, PTSD, Developmental Trauma, Depression, Anxiety, ADHD & Sleep Disorders are welcome to apply to be considered for this study. We currently have 41 applicants, and applicantions are approved on a first come first...