Tagged With "Self-Defeating Behaviors"
Blog Post
The Healing Place Podcast - Gretchen Schmelzer, PhD: Journey Through Trauma
Thank you, Dr. Gretchen Schmelzer, for enlightening us even more about the "journey through trauma". Listen in as Gretchen shares her insights on trauma GPS, her work in the field of trauma-recovery and healing on individual and societal levels, Nelson Mandela, her five phase cycle for healing repeated trauma, and more!
Blog Post
The Many Faces of Grief
“…Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding…. And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self….” – From The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran There are many kinds of loss that we can encounter in life. However, losses surrounding addiction can be particularly confusing; they tend...
Blog Post
To Heal CPTSD, Do You Need to Love Yourself?
One of the messages that’s been drilled into us by popular culture is that “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else.” This is something people tell you when you get your heart broken and you feel like you must be… no good! And for a lot of years, every time I heard this I felt like a different species than everyone else. Because there were times when I didn’t particularly love myself – and here and there when I was younger, times when I hated myself. But there was a never...
Blog Post
Toxic Childhood? 5 Ways to Jump-Start Your Healing in 2019 [blogs.psychcentral.com]
I’m a great believer in fresh starts, especially if you’re a work-in-progress and healing from childhood wounds and you’re feeling stuck, as everyone does now and again. To that end, I look to the start of a new month as a blank page, the start of a new season which always has a different kind of energy, and, of course, the biggest start-your-engines of them all, the New Year. But I’m not talking traditional resolutions here (because they don’t work, for one thing); instead, let’s focus on...
Blog Post
Trauma tried to kick down the door. Compassion is helping me heal.
The artwork is an original piece titled "Someone at the Door" by Chicago artist Ken Shaw. I bought it about 35 years ago. (The first part of this piece was written in-the-moment, as an email to a friend following what, for me, was a traumatic experience. The second part of this piece was written about 10 days later, as part of a healing reflection. It occurs to me that this experience, and the reflections, might help someone else experiencing trauma and/or seeking compassion for self or...
Blog Post
We Need to Help More Trauma Survivors Value Self-Care (44 min podcast)
We focus on self-care in trauma-informed therapy. But it's all too easy to forget to apply it to yourself! Even if you’re well on your way to healing, it’s important to remember that your past experiences may still impact the way you take care of yourself today.
Blog Post
What is Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD)?
Most people have heard of post-traumatic stress disorder that afflicts many men and women returning from a war zone. It is characterized by flashbacks, unstable moods, and survivor’s remorse. However, many have never heard of a condition that often develops in childhood and changes the course of the child’s life forever, complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD). For a good definition of CPTSD, we turned to Beauty After Bruises, an organization that offers outreach focused on adult...
Blog Post
When Hidden Grief Gets Triggered During COVID-19 Confinement
first published by The Meadows 4/15/20 Our sense of loss during the current COVID-19 crisis can trigger hidden emotions from when we experienced a sense of loss before. Whatever early losses you have had in your life — whether they be your own divorce, your parents, or both, or the abandonment of one parent, a childhood or parental illness or death, financial upheaval, constant moving around, or growing up with parental addiction or adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) — they are likely to...
Blog Post
When Mindfulness Is a Trauma Trigger: April #MeToo
While mindfulness can be a powerful tool for self-care, it can also act as a trauma trigger. Here I describe how I've come to terms with that.
Blog Post
When Things Get Out of Hand: Trauma and the Triune Brain [goodtherapy.org]
In recent decades, neuroscience and psychotherapy have joined forces in seeking to understand the biological bases of behavior. The brain is a complex organ, and as we study its function and adaptations we create a window of understanding into how our brains, bodies, and psyches respond to traumatic stimuli. Have you ever heard of the triune brain? This is a simplified, three-part model of the brain, as originally explained by Dr. Daniel Siegel , that helps us to understand the neurological...
Blog Post
Why It Pays to Fully Heal from Childhood Trauma [pro.psychcentral.com/exhausted-woman]
Janet reflected on the events of the past several days and instead of being embarrassed by her behavior, she was proud. She had purchased a new computer from a large retailer based on the specs and appearance. But when she began to use it, she discovered the store had done a bait and switch. They told her one thing about the product and sold her something completely different. After doing several rounds with their customer service and management department, she was told that the computer she...
Blog Post
Why Slowing Down & Reflecting On Our Lives And Values Is So Vital Right Now (YourTango.com)
The unbridled spread of COVID-19 has caused all but essential service providers to drop what we were doing and settle in at home. This forced slowdown is very uncomfortable for most. But, this forced slowdown may not necessarily be a bad thing. With many of us at home, now's a good time to let our lives catch up to us and envision a new future.
Blog Post
5 Tips to Get You Through the Kavanaugh Investigation (No Matter What Are Your Politics)
Current events this week are extremely triggering and traumatic for many. Here are a few tips from a trauma psychotherapist.
Blog Post
A Brief Guide to Self-Harm and Unhealed Childhood Trauma [blogs.psychcentral.com]
Self-harm is a commonly misunderstood psychological phenomenon. Some people believe that those who harm themselves are simply stupid because why else a person would do that. Others think that self-harm is only attention-seeking behavior. Some even call it selfish. What is self-harm? Before digging deeper, let’s first define what constitutes self-harm. Self-harmful behavior is a behavioral pattern that results in harm to yourself. A very simple example of that is cutting. Another, more common...
Blog Post
Addiction Isn't the Problem, It's the Symptom [pesi.com]
Note: You may receive an unsolicited invite to a class when downloading the article. By Gabor Mate, PESI, May 2, 2020 Have you ever wondered, as I have, how someone with an addiction could go through 21 detox centers and 5 treatment facilities, yet continue to relapse? It wasn’t until I started working in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside—one of the most concentrated areas of drug use, mental illness, and poverty in North America—that I realized... The reason these treatments do NOT work is...
Blog Post
Are You Re-Traumatizing Yourself? 16 Things We Do That Can Set Us Back with Childhood PTSD
Part of the damage from abuse and neglect in childhood is what actually happened when we were kids. But a significant part of the problem today comes from what I call "Inside Traumas." These are self-defeating behaviors that are common to people who are frequently in a state of dysregulation. They start as an innocent attempt to feel calm and stable, but they can grow into significant traumas that cause real problems for us and others. If you'd like to learn about my online course, Healing...
Blog Post
Brain can be trained in compassion, study shows (University of Wisconsin-Madison)
A new study by researchers at the Center for Investigating Healthy Minds at the Waisman Center of the University of Wisconsin–Madison shows that adults can be trained to be more compassionate. The report, recently published online in the journal Psychological Science , is the first to investigate whether training adults in compassion can result in greater altruistic behavior and related changes in neural systems underlying compassion. “Our fundamental question was, ‘Can compassion be trained...
Blog Post
Care for Yourself, So You Can Care for Others
December can be a busy and stressful time for everyone. Please see the message below from the Office of Head Start, reminding you to take care of yourself and giving some helpful daily tips- Safe Foundations, Healthy Futures Campaign Care for Yourself, So You Can Care for Others December 2018 December can be a particularly hard time to take care of yourself. You may be busy, over-scheduled, stressed about finances, or worried about family. This month, the Safe Foundations, Healthy Futures...
Blog Post
Defining Resilience: Nature or Nurture? [thriveglobal.com]
By Ben Saravia, Thrive Global, August 5, 2019 We all know them, and history is littered with them. People, be they friends, family or colleagues, who seem so able to rise above whatever life may throw at them. Not only do they seem to take adversity in their stride, but when they are set back, they have an ability to quickly ‘bounce back’ – and may even grow from the event. Perhaps they are just lucky? Or is it a skill? How come they seem so resilient? The American Psychological Association...
Blog Post
Free Mind Matters Online Series -- Build skills to overcome anxiety and increase resilience
In appreciation of and support for the tremendous work you are doing under challenging circumstances, Dibble will be hosting a free, 12-week Mind Matters online series with Dr. Carolyn Curtis and Dixie Zittlow. Unprecedented times, such as these, are stressful and call for everyone to think about ways to help others and themselves. Thus, we see this as an opportunity to offer free, professional development and help you and your staff practice self-care. Join us as we teach the Mind Matters...
Blog Post
From Compassion Fatigue to Healing Centered Engagement: Turning Trauma Informed Values into Action
To pave the way for a truly strengths-based approach to full healing and recovery for both service users and burned out staff, we must educate them on (1) the central role of primal body responses to trauma (past and present), and (2) the early development of adaptive thoughts and behaviors in response to
traumatic experience.
Blog Post
Get Unstuck - Guided Journal & Online Circle
Sometimes a high ACEs score or history of trauma can have you feeling stuck. You see patterns playing out around you and 'to you' and you can't seem to get yourself out of it. I've been there. I've also gotten myself out of it and used all kinds of tools to do it. I am a certified coach who believes in providing people with tools of their own to move into a place of self-leadership. We all have the capacity to heal. It takes work, self-reflection, ownership of our own behaviors and...
Blog Post
Growth through Trauma-Informed Strategies: Coaching and Consultation with Rick Griffin
There is a Chinese proverb that states, “If you want 1 year of prosperity, grow grain. If you want 10 years of prosperity, grow trees. If you want 100 years of prosperity, grow people." The benefits are evident, yet the real question becomes, “how do you grow people?” This Big Idea Session, CRI’s Trauma Coaching and Trauma Consultation Training, answers this question. Schools, organizations, and parents are discovering that the traditional “command and control” style of working with...
Blog Post
Helping Families Stay Regulated during a Pandemic
As our communities struggle to do what is needed to keep people safe and families work to find a new a “normal” while caring for and educating children at home full time – it can be a lot to handle. Child psychologist and trauma expert, Dr. Bruce Perry offered 8 tips for helping children stay regulated in this recent article from Psychology Today . Dr. Perry was also a part of this video resource for parents, Staying sane while Parenting with Shelter-in-Place! For service providers who would...
Blog Post
Helping Someone with PTSD: Helping a Loved One While Taking Care of Yourself (www.helpguide.org/)
"PTSD can take a heavy toll on relationships. It can be hard to understand your loved one’s behavior—why they are less affectionate and more volatile. You may feel like you’re walking on eggshells or living with a stranger. You may have to take on a bigger share of household tasks, deal with the frustration of a loved one who won’t open up, or even deal with anger or disturbing behavior. The symptoms of PTSD can also lead to job loss, substance abuse, and other problems that affect the whole...
Blog Post
How do you cope? Self-regulation "favorites" from our children! (video)
In a recent chapel time, our children were given the opportunity to "pay if forward" by helping create the video below. You see, part of the lesson was about thanksgiving and generosity, and that generosity is NOT just about sharing money. It's about being the type of people who share compassion and the wisdom that has been gained through difficulty. The children were encouraged to know that they could help other children handle their big feelings in healthy ways by sharing what they had...
Blog Post
How to Be More Resilient [nytimes.com]
As a psychiatrist, I’ve long wondered why some people get ill in the face of stress and adversity — either mentally or physically — while others rarely succumb. We know, for example, that not everyone gets PTSD after exposure to extreme trauma, while some people get disabling depression with minimal or no stress. Likewise, we know that chronic stress can contribute to physical conditions like heart disease and stroke in some people, while others emerge unscathed. What makes people resilient,...
Blog Post
How to Keep the Greater Good in Mind During the Coronavirus Outbreak (greatergood.berkeley.edu)
Why expect more cooperation and compassion in the face of an epidemic? Because, contrary to popular belief, crises often tend to bring out the best in people. A report that looked at how people responded during the September 11th Twin Tower attacks showed that people bent over backwards to help others escape, sometimes at great personal risk to themselves. Other reports on the aftermath of natural disasters show that strangers will stick out their necks for each other to help. In fact,...
Blog Post
How To Stimulate Your Vagus Nerve for Better Mental Health [thebestbrainpossible.com]
I’ll bet that you’ve experienced butterflies in your stomach or an unmistakable, strong gut feeling before. So, you’ve pretty much always known that what goes on in your head affects your stomach. But did you know that what goes on in your belly affects your brain too? It works both ways. Science has proven that what happens in your gut dramatically impacts your brain operation and mental health. Your gut bacteria modify your overall health in many ways. They help build your immune system,...
Blog Post
Join Me On My Birthday
Join me live on Facebook @GrandfamilyToday Thursday, March 5, 2020, 9 pm EST for my birthday give back: Developing Self-Care Sense
Blog Post
Laziness Does Not Exist [medium.com/@dr_eprice]
Laura's note: Though this blog post focuses on perceived laziness in students, I think what E. Price has to say here could apply to other characteristics that are common symptoms and outcomes of early trauma in children and of a history of trauma in adults. I think the upshot here is that whatever the behavior, there's always an explanation, and that explanation is probably not just, it's a character flaw or moral weakness. I’ve been a psychology professor since 2012. In the past six years,...
Blog Post
20 Caregiver Resolutions for 2020
20 Caregiver Resolutions for 2020 Let someone make you a meal at least once a week and that someone can be anyone (including a fast-food chain restaurant Keep a daily Gratitude Journal and start each day with, “ I am grateful that the World has me” Don’t fold any fitted sheets for the entire year, just roll them into a ball Once a month go to a playground with a friend, a neighbor, sibling, spouse, co-worker and ask them to push you on the swing Stay in the shower or tub 5 minutes longer...
Blog Post
2019 Beyond Paper Tigers Conference Series - Why Take Course One and Course Two?
Community Resilience Initiative is officially launching a new series of blog posts, building to our 2019 Beyond Paper Tigers conference on June 25th - 27th. We’ll cover a range of topics relevant to conference material, events, and inspirations. In addition to the regular conference, CRI is offering two training add-on options on Tuesday June 25, 2019 prior to the conference: Resilience-Based Trainings, Course One and Two . https://criresilient.org/beyon...re-conference-event/ “A group of...
Blog Post
3 Steps Toward Managing And Healing Anxiety
I've struggled with anxiety throughout my life. A difficult childhood and my highly sensitive personality meant I grew into an anxious kid—there was just too much pain and emotional overwhelm for my young brain to handle. My anxiety most often manifested as perfectionism and people pleasing, so from the outside everything seemed great. I excelled in school and I was a good kid who did as she was told. But there was a war inside me. I felt broken, unable to navigate these huge feelings of...
Blog Post
Mind & Body Empowerment for Human Trafficking Victims (starr.org)
Building Resilience and Belonging through Trauma-Sensitive Yoga Starr believes, as its founder Floyd Starr did, that there is no such thing as a bad child. And, when you provide a safe environment, when you treat a child with dignity and respect, it changes a child’s heart. And that, in the end, is what changes a child’s life. It’s a powerful story that we have been helping children write for over 100 years at Starr Commonwealth. For all students on Starr’s campus, this approach is applied...
Blog Post
Mind Matters: Overcoming Adversity and Building Resilience Two-Day Intensive Training
with Author, Carolyn Rich Curtis, Ph.D. 8:30 AM–5:00 PM $399 for 2-day Intensive Training CEUs are available for an additional charge. Each trainee must have a copy of Mind Matters ($299 plus tax (CA and SD only) plus S/H) As a result of this training , you will learn to teach: Self-soothing skills to manage emotions Ways to analyze stressful thoughts How to deal with intrusive memories Ways to develop a protective lifestyle And you, as an instructor, will learn . . . How to provide a safe...
Blog Post
New Book: Crazy Was All I Ever Knew By Alice M. Kenny (pseudonym)
To this day, I still think of my childhood home as "the crazy house." Like me, millions of adult Americans are living with the effects of the precarious childhoods they experienced as offspring of mentally ill parents. If you are one of them, you can no doubt relate to my book. As a child, you most likely lived in a crazy house of your own. As an adult, you’ve probably retained and may even relive memories of your tumultuous upbringing. Crazy Was All I Ever Knew combines memoir with...
Blog Post
Next "A Better Normal" community discussion series: April 7, 2020 — Tian Dayton
Therapist and author Dr. Tian Dayton, who first started writing about ACEs science more than 20 years ago, will address grief and maintaining emotional sobriety during COVID-19. Carey Sipp, Southeast community facilitator for ACEs Connection, will host this community conversation, and Alison Cebula, Northeastern regional community facilitator, will moderate.
Blog Post
Reasons to be Positive and Optimistic
Positive thinking and optimism are words often thrown around when thinking about being happy and cheerful. But what do they really mean? Positive thinking means approaching life in a positive and productive way instead of focusing on the negatives. Meaning you’re hopeful for the best and don’t focus on the worst. Sounds good in theory, but how can you start to think positively? Here are seven reasons why positivity is so good for you, and some tips on how to remain positive everyday:...
Blog Post
Resources for ACEs Survivors
With the link between ACEs and health outcomes now firmly established, many people are asking how to help those who have survived ACEs. Often people are seeking written resources. Having developed resilience curricula that were piloted at the University of Maryland School of Public Health and taught to various high-risk populations, I’d like to suggest some resources. As an outgrowth of these trainings, I developed three books that are skills-based and experiential, since information alone...
Blog Post
Self-Care, Boring Self-Care, And Just Showing Up [laurakhoudari.com]
What Is Self-Care Anyway? I spend a lot of time talking about “self-care,” particularly when I am advising my clients, colleagues, and loved ones to practice it. I tell people to take care of themselves or give specific instruction, to “eat,” “sleep,” or “get outside.” The more I preach the gospel of “self-care,” the more I feel inclined to explore the term itself and its history. Sometimes, what we, or our clients are already doing by “showing up”, is in itself all the self-care that can be...
Blog Post
Self-Care Empowerment
Our mission at Grandfamily Today always centers around connection and ending isolation for Grandfamilies. Join me free for 5 weeks of Self-Care Empowerment. You can set your own schedule to connect-share-feel empowered! This is interactive! Join us! We will be using email and Marco Polo. If you’ve never used Marco Polo, don’t worry it’s easy and free! It was designed by a married couple to stay in touch with family around the globe. It is video based, but short videos and our group will be...
Blog Post
Self-care suggestion for Men during the COVID isolation
On The Healing Place Podcast this morning I had the chance to chat with hostess Teri Kamphaus Wellbrock raising awarenesss for guys about their mental health and encouraging men to take this time of isolation to learn more about themselves.
Blog Post
Self-Compassion Is Your Perfect Present Guidance, Even In The Most Troubled And Turbulent Of Times.
There is one sure form of guidance you can follow every moment of the day, even in today's most turbulent of times, to ensure that you follow the path in life that is truly right for you, truly good for you. The simple way of describing this form of guidance is: making self-loving or self-compassionate choices for yourself in the present moment . Be guided by your heart-sense regarding your every thought and action . When things don’t turn out the way you want them to, instead of blaming and...
Blog Post
Self Soothing Strategies for Parents and Kids
Learn 4 simple tools for parents and kids to calm down together. About the presenter: Joyelle Brandt is a self care coach for moms. She specializes in working with mothers who are survivors of abuse, to help them develop a personalized self soothing toolkit for stress management. As a speaker, mothering coach, and multi-media creator, Joyelle works to dismantle the stigma that keeps childhood abuse survivors stuck in shame and self-hatred. She is the author of Princess Monsters from A to Z...
Blog Post
Seven Benefits of Working with a Therapy Animal from a Handler's Perspective
Sometimes I feel selfish for walking away from our therapy dog sessions with my heart overflowing with joy, a smile radiating from my face AND heart. I love watching this dog turn a child’s tears into giggles. Sammie has a thing for kids. Her tail wags every time she sees one. Whether we are walking the halls at a school or the trails at a nature preserve. She wants to meet them all and offer a snuggle. As a result, her tail thumps in canine happiness, and I just can’t help but grin.
Blog Post
Shattered By The Darkness: Powerful book by a humble man on a mission to prevent what happened to him from happening to other children.
Gregory Williams, PhD, will help change the world by taking this book into medical schools and teaching physicians and nurses about the root cause of most adult illness: childhood trauma. I just read this book in one sitting, save one hot tea refill. I could not stop reading it. Even though there were some passages that evoked anxiety, I couldn’t stop reading it, as I so wanted to learn more about this remarkable man and how he earned a PhD, had a normal family life, and earned the respect...
Blog Post
Sheltering in Place: ACEs-Informed Tips for Self-Care During a Pandemic
Millions of lives have been affected in unprecedented ways by the Coronavirus (COVID-19). We are all grappling with uncertainty—our daily routines interrupted, not knowing what is to come. For those of us who have Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), these times can be particularly distressing. At the Center for Youth Wellness (CYW), we know that childhood trauma can have a significant impact on an individual’s health and well-being – both physiologically and psychologically. Since the...
Blog Post
Sick and Stressed from CPTSD? Power Up Your SELF CARE (Resilience Series)
I’ve been talking about resilience in recent posts — the obstacles that hold back recovery, and the strengths we need to keep healing. Last week the topic was fear. In this post (and the video that goes with it) I want to go up a layer to the next strength, and that’s self-care . I used to think self-care was just hot baths and chocolate for people whose problems were so small that this would actually solve them. But 25 years of continuous healing and strength-building has taught me that,...
Blog Post
Sick and Stressed from CPTSD? Power Up Your SELF CARE (Resilience Series)
I’ve been talking about resilience in recent posts — the obstacles that hold back recovery, and the strengths we need to keep healing. Last week the topic was fear. In this post (and the video that goes with it) I want to go up a layer to the next strength, and that’s self-care . I used to think self-care was just hot baths and chocolate for people whose problems were so small that this would actually solve them. But 25 years of continuous healing and strength-building has taught me that,...