Tagged With "Blog"

One of the most common euphemisms and justifications for a certain type of childhood trauma is “growing up too fast.” It is a euphemism because it is used to minimize the pain that the person felt as a child when their needs weren’t being met by describing it in seemingly neutral or even positive language. It’s a justification because it is often used to argue that growing up faster and becoming “mature beyond your years” is indeed a good thing. We will explore and address all of this here.

Thank you, Dr. Gretchen Schmelzer, for enlightening us even more about the "journey through trauma". Listen in as Gretchen shares her insights on trauma GPS, her work in the field of trauma-recovery and healing on individual and societal levels, Nelson Mandela, her five phase cycle for healing repeated trauma, and more!

I’m a great believer in fresh starts, especially if you’re a work-in-progress and healing from childhood wounds and you’re feeling stuck, as everyone does now and again. To that end, I look to the start of a new month as a blank page, the start of a new season which always has a different kind of energy, and, of course, the biggest start-your-engines of them all, the New Year. But I’m not talking traditional resolutions here (because they don’t work, for one thing); instead, let’s focus on...

ACEs Connection presents, "Starting & Growing Resilient Communities: Online & In Real Life (IRL)", an interactive webinar training series focused on developing existing and potential online community managers and IRL ACEs champions. This series is dedicated to providing insight into creating sustainable and effective online & IRL ACEs initiatives. In this fifth session, we’ll talk about why it's so critical to tell your story far and wide. This incudes how to blog and share...

“Someone who has experienced trauma also has gifts to offer all of us- in their depth, in their knowledge of our universal vulnerability, and their experience of the power of compassion.”- Sharon Salzberg What a week. You’d have to be living under a rock if you haven’t at all tuned in to the tumultuous news cycle in the US. Those that are survivors of trauma (specifically sexual assault and other forms of abuse) are incredibly triggered, and those that provide psychotherapy for trauma...

Why do people think they had a good, normal childhood, or deny childhood trauma and its results altogether? I often hear people say things like: My childhood was normal. Yes, there were some good things and some bad things – but that's life. My mother got sad, distant, or angry when I didn't perform well or acted badly, and my father sometimes hit me with a belt – but it was for my own good. All of this helped me to become a better person – and I'm thankful for it. Yes, sometimes I feel...

Self-harm is a commonly misunderstood psychological phenomenon. Some people believe that those who harm themselves are simply stupid because why else a person would do that. Others think that self-harm is only attention-seeking behavior. Some even call it selfish. What is self-harm? Before digging deeper, let’s first define what constitutes self-harm. Self-harmful behavior is a behavioral pattern that results in harm to yourself. A very simple example of that is cutting. Another, more common...

I recently had the opportunity to chat with Sharyn of Homespun Dreams about how she uses craft as therapy. She lives with both anxiety and chronic pain. She enjoys crochet, knitting, sewing, tatting, and other crafts, sometimes mixing them together in one project. She also happens to have a nursing degree so she understands the benefits of crafting from both a personal and professional perspective. It was through her that I learned about the idea of crafting as cross-body therapy. What is...

Laura's note: As the first paragraph of the following blog post excerpt implies, a lot of adults need someone to tell them their "normal" isn't "normal" too. If it's all you've ever known and you're surrounded by friends and family who've had similarly unhealthy early experiences, how would you know otherwise? It took me a quarter of a century (literally) to realize that I experienced trauma throughout certain points in my childhood. It took me another year to realize that my behaviors were...

So, how does Teri Wellbrock bring herself back into a state of calm once the anticipatory anxiety has been triggered? Here is Teri's personal go-to list. Please keep in mind she created this plan on a trial and error basis. She loaded her coping skills toolbox with exercises, fidgets, courses, books, therapy suggestions, and techniques discovered through personal research. Following is her top seven strategies, however, please note that she has a much larger bag-o-tricks to pull from if needed.

Laura's Note: Though the author is addressing toxic mother-daughter relationships, much of what she writes here can apply more broadly to other types of relationships and traumas. If I had a twenty-dollar bill for every time someone tells me that my mother “must have done something right” because I “turned out fine,” I could probably retire tomorrow in luxury. This came up during an interview recently, as if where I went to college and graduate school and have accomplished in my professional...

Great Article! Appreciate the words about "letting go" being hard work.

Glad you enjoyed the article, Heidi. Yes, anyone who acknowledges how hard letting go is, and that it's a complicated process rather than a single action, certainly has my attention!

I agree. We grow up thinking everyone feels like us... only they don't... and we can't understand why we are different. Thanks for this article!

Laura - you are so right! A few years ago while working in public health, several school nurses reached out to me to find information regarding the self-harming behaviors which were increasing significantly among their Middle School students. They wanted to know if other schools were having similar concerns - and they were. Using a trauma-informed lens changed the way the school nurses responded to the students. While they still felt under-resourced, they were reassured to know that research...

It's great news for young people today that school nurses are getting educated about what's behind self-injury among youth and that there's research on it to boot. It's hopeful for all of us.

I knew that name sounded familiar! I subscribe to Dr. Schmelzer's e-newsletter. But I don't think I've ever heard her interviewed before. Thank you, Teri!

Such an insightful interview! Thanks for tuning in, Laura 😁

One of the simplest and easiest cross-body exercises is crawling . It is the best mind-body exercise. It requires just a minute, 3 to 4 times a day but it really keeps me fit and has helped me heal my back.

Cheryl, I read your blog post about crawling, and it was so intriguing. I've tried it a few times and have been trying to get into the habit of doing it on a regular basis. It's such a novel way to move around, and if it helps with back trouble, I'm in! --Laura

Great list, Teri! I'll add another: Knitting. It's my portable therapy. I tend to get anxious when there's turbulence on a plane flight so I always take a knitting project with me when I fly. It's meditative and soothing. Here's some information and research about the health benefits of knitting: https://well.blogs.nytimes.com...enefits-of-knitting/ Thanks again for your great and useful post!

Wonderful! Thanks for the knitting suggestion. I have a friend who swears by knitting when she flies, as well.

Teri... and here's another one: Jigsaw puzzles. I can get absorbed in a puzzle for hours. While not portable like knitting, jigsaw puzzles are meditative and relaxing. I always have one going on a table in my home. I'm a psychotherapist and will pass on your suggestions and post to my clients and followers. Thanks again!

Yes!!! I am a fan of jigsaw puzzles, as well. Great reminder! Thank you. And thanks for passing along my post. I have a website that has links to resources regarding ACEs, trauma, hope and healing . . . including my podcast. Many ACEs Connection members have joined me on air to discuss the healing work they are doing and/or their own healing journeys. If you'd ever like to join me, please reach out at info@teriwellbrock.com . I am now booking into August and beyond (on summer hiatus to...

Love it! Another fellow jigsaw puzzler! Thank you for the information about your website and podcast and also for your invitation. I am interested and will be in touch! Blessings, Diane

What a lovely collection of ways to calm yourself while away from home (or in general). Just looking at your coloring projects, your photos, and Sammie help me feel calmer. Your coloring and photos are just stunning, Teri. I second Diane's suggestion of knitting while flying. It helps distract me from my anxiety even if I have to "frog it" (rip it back) afterward because I made so many mistakes .

Aw! Thank you, Laura! You made me heart smile with that. My dad and sister were/are phenomenal artists and I can't even draw a straight line with a ruler. LOL! But, coloring and photography and writing . . . THOSE I can do. For years I told myself I wasn't artistic because I couldn't draw or create magnificent artwork like them. So glad I found my own creative outlets. Now I admire and applaud their work while being appreciative of my own. I may have to give knitting a whirl. Who knows,...

Earth Day has blossomed into a month-long celebration in April focusing on getting outdoors, appreciating nature and coming together as a community all of which are important in our work as ACEs Aware grantees. Recently, “spending time in nature” was added to the list of ways to practice self-care in relation to Adverse Childhood Experiences. The idea behind the self-care practices is to regulate an overactive stress response which can be heightened due to exposure to ACEs and lead to toxic...

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