Tagged With "Social Anxiety"

It’s super common for those of us who grew up with abuse and neglect when we were small, to feel as adults that we are on the outside somehow. When we're in groups we feel as if we are only partly in it, and never really included . Or we start as a full participant but pull away over time. We un-include ourselves. But it feel like other people are keeping us out. The telltale sign that being on the outside could be a personal choice, even when it doesn’t feel like it, is that we’re almost...

For those of us who grew up with abuse and neglect at home, it can be hard to know how to ACT in social situations. Here's an example.... Have you ever been to a hotel where there is a person who is there to carry your bags, and even though you didn’t ask, they carry your bags to the room and it’s totally awkward, and you think “I’m supposed to give them a tip, right? I’ve, like seen this on TV. But you don’t have cash, and they’re just standing there ," and you think, "What do I do? What do...

By Grant H. Brenner, Psychology Today, May 9, 2020 The COVID-19 pandemic is a prolonged, global disaster of epic proportions, unlike anything most people have experienced in their lifetimes. Tolerating Ambiguity and Isolation Unlike many disasters, which have a predictable course (see Phases of Disaster, below), pandemics don't fit a clear mold, with no clear end date, high levels of uncertainty about whether there will be ongoing waves of reinfection, unclear paths toward normality, limited...

Imagine that you are being held by someone you love (partner, parent, best friend, someone you once knew, or someone you imagine). You are safe and warm and connected. You feel the soothing of presence - the beating of a primitive language. As you find the rhythms of oneness, you know that all is right. You are protected from whatever unknown lies beyond. Close your eyes and feel the exquisiteness...Now imagine that the exquisiteness fails.

I think many people who've experienced childhood trauma would recognize this piece as a heartbreakingly accurate depiction of how trauma's effects play out in a child's daily life. I believe this could also serve to help those who haven't experienced it, and even those who may be skeptical of the depth of childhood trauma's impact, to understand. Thank you, Carol.

Thank you Laura! That is exactly what I was hoping for.

Wow. I saw myself in some of that and my little sister (now age 49 and not so little, but my memories flashed to little Katie) in other bits. I am going to share this on my podcast Facebook page. Beautiful. Peace, Teri

Thank you Teri! The post was inspired by my five children and most especially my 9-year-old son. It is really quite bittersweet to hear how much it resonates. ~ Carol

Wow, Carol, that was a viscerally accurate description of what most of us survivors of child abuse go through. How to trust? Whom to trust? That gnawing and desperate need for connection wrecks our every interaction in adulthood.

Thank you Cheryl! To me it rings as the "feeling" side of the eloquent post you wrote on Limbic Revision.

Great post. The thing I like about your blog posts/videos, Anna, is that they often address those otherwise "sidelined" effects of childhood trauma -- the ones that don't often make the clinical "symptoms of childhood trauma" lists. They're also the ones that those of us who've experienced childhood trauma suspect, in our perhaps not-always accurate (because they've been thrown off-kilter by the trauma) guts and hearts that this everyday problem that we can't quite put our finger on is yet...

Bingo, again. It can take a lot out of a person to put themselves "out there", especially when, as you say, "we’re just working so hard to just deal." For introverts, the uphill battle is on an even steeper incline. But of course the irony here is that pushing ourselves to do what for so many reasons we resist is one of the very things that will help us become whole. Thank you, Anna, for sharing your blog posts and videos here.

By Alison Aubrey, National Public Radio, May 10, 2020 We are social creatures. So it's no surprise that quarantine fatigue has begun to set in. "Humans are wired to come together physically," says psychologist Judith Moskowitz of Northwestern University. But, loneliness has become widespread in modern life. And, social distancing has just exacerbated the problem, Moskowitz says. Social connection is essential to our well-being, since prolonged isolation can increase the risk of depression...

The magnificent fall foliage displayed during the month of October reminds me of transition and forward momentum. Ideally, as humans, we grow and change along with the seasons to find meaning and purpose in life and flourish. Unfortunately, the progression of our lives isn't always smooth and people aren't always kind. There are essential life skills that we can learn, however, that can help us grow through struggle and choose love in our thoughtful responses. We have had varied reactions to...

For more information and to register - https://www.eventbrite.com/e/124637117975 Reimagining Resilience: Using a Trauma Lens helps adults build positive relationships with children who have experienced trauma. We will explore the impact of adverse experiences and the effect they have on developing brains and student behavior. The course gives teachers, parents, and other adults working closely with kids the skills they need to make sure that every child knows that they matter. An online...

In this "How to talk policy and influence people" interview with Dr Stephen Porges, the developer of polyvagal theory, we discuss the vagus nerve, the evolutionary development of the mammalian autonomic nervous system and the human social engagement system. We discuss the importance of a felt sense of safety in the presence of other people, which starts with our experiences with our primary care-giver in infancy. We talk about common symptoms due to our bodies being in a chronic state of...

I have a micro- minute or two of joy every day. When I wake up in the morning I thank the universe that it is differentiating between day and night. I thank that my eyes opened to see, and my limbs managed to get up, that my ears picked up the bird sons and my lips are giving praise. This is an ancient tradition I practice, a tradition that recognized the value of practicing gratitude and passed it on through its teachings for over 3000 years. I am glad that many more people are discovering...

A global pandemic. Social unrest. A contentious election year. Is it possible to be grateful in this environment? YES! Actually, the stressors actually make it even more imperative! Our ultimate goal as humans, for our children and ourselves, is to flourish. Gratitude is the number one way to shift our focus from negative to positive and facilitate growth in our lives. It sounds simple, and it is, but it’s not always easy. How can we be grateful when it seems like everything is falling apart...

I had a good life prior to December 14, 2012, the day of the Sandy Hook tragedy that took my six-year-old son Jesse's life. I was a single mom with a full-time job, a first and seventh grader, living on a horse farm with a wonderful mother/grandmother living nearby to help, and a supportive extended family. Always on the go, I woke up early, went to bed late, and would list the day’s accomplishments in my head each night. When I woke in the morning I would thank God for another opportunity...

Co-authored by Leanne McEvoy, a mother of two and advocate for children's mental health and well-being who is passionate about making sure kids have solid emotional foundations to navigate life. She holds a Master’s degree in Clinical Social Work with a concentration in children and families and has advocated for improved policy and legislation around school safety. This is a true story shared with me but something similar might be unfolding near you as well. Recently, a ten year old boy’s...

In today's uncertain times, many youth experience housing insecurity, unstable or unsafe relationships, and toxic stress. Social and emotional wellbeing can help these young people overcome adversity, heal from trauma, and build resilience, thereby increasing their hopes for the future. Learning and practicing mindfulness skills can be the pathway to increasing self-regulation, building healthy relationships, and increasing resilience. The question is how can youth move towards social and...

In this day of tumultuous breaking news, Lise Van Susteren knows how to calm us down – by helping us identify and unpack our reactor types and foster better relationships by showing us how to better understand each other.

Emotions are not some kind of cosmic error. They exist for our benefit. Emotions tell us (sometimes before our brains get there) to move away or towards people, situations, and ideas. They are a kind of compass for our lives. But only when we allow them to be so. Curious about how that works?

By Elaine Miller-Karas MSW, LCSW Building Resiliency to Trauma Psychology Today, September 30, 2022 Mental health can suffer after extreme climate events. KEY POINTS Mental health conditions exacerbated by natural disasters include post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, and anxiety. After a disaster, the number of people needing assistance from the mental health systems strains or exceeds community capacity. There are simple strategies helpers can use to help survivors restore...

The Connections Matter Academy is a set of engaging videos designed to educate young people about trauma and how it impacts their life. We created it to inspire teens to begin their healing process, break the cycle of intergenerational trauma, and reach their highest potential through healthy connections with others. What exactly is The Connections Matter Academy? An educational, inclusive, and entertaining animated series to help teens and young adults cope with trauma Co-created by Beth...