Tagged With "Living with Complex"
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The Emptiness You Feel is Trying to Tell You Something
I read a short story last week that was about emptiness and love. That funny thing that happens sometimes, happened, and three different people wrote to me within about 24 hours about… emptiness and love. They were feeling -- and I think a lot of us are feeling it -- a harsh, empty, loveless feeling that keeps swooping into their consciousness during this quarantined period, sounding the alarm that something HUGE is missing from our lives. One woman even said “I know you’ll think I’m crazy...
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The Healing Place Podcast - Gretchen Schmelzer, PhD: Journey Through Trauma
Thank you, Dr. Gretchen Schmelzer, for enlightening us even more about the "journey through trauma". Listen in as Gretchen shares her insights on trauma GPS, her work in the field of trauma-recovery and healing on individual and societal levels, Nelson Mandela, her five phase cycle for healing repeated trauma, and more!
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The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
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The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
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The Many Faces of Grief
“…Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding…. And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self….” – From The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran There are many kinds of loss that we can encounter in life. However, losses surrounding addiction can be particularly confusing; they tend...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020
Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health “ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”. Kahlil Gibran The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020 http://www.survivingspirit.com/ http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-04-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_April_2020.pdf Hi Folks, Obviously we are all experiencing some very trying times and...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020
Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health “ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”. Kahlil Gibran The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020 http://www.survivingspirit.com/ http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-04-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_April_2020.pdf Hi Folks, Obviously we are all experiencing some very trying times and...
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To Heal CPTSD, Do You Need to Love Yourself?
One of the messages that’s been drilled into us by popular culture is that “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else.” This is something people tell you when you get your heart broken and you feel like you must be… no good! And for a lot of years, every time I heard this I felt like a different species than everyone else. Because there were times when I didn’t particularly love myself – and here and there when I was younger, times when I hated myself. But there was a never...
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To Help Heal Trauma, Talk Less, and Write More
For a lot of people with Childhood PTSD, talking about traumatic memories can make symptoms worse -- worse than if we were to do nothing at all. Yet talking about the past is the default mode of therapy for virtually everyone who is depressed, anxious or troubled about the past. It's true that talking can be crucial to emotional healing. But there is a lot of research that supports WRITING as a more effective way to communicate past trauma and relieve symptoms of Childhood PTSD. In this...
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Transforming Trauma Podcast: The Blind Spots of Privilege and Complex Trauma in Marginalized Communities
Transforming Trauma Podcast: The Blind Spots of Privilege and Complex Trauma in Marginalized Communities Claude Cayemitte, a clinical social worker and NARM Therapist, joins the Transforming Trauma podcast to examine how complex trauma impacts individuals from marginalized communities and how unrecognized cultural trauma can lead to misattunement in the therapeutic relationship. Using the NeuroAffective Relational Model as a foundation, and his own background as a Haitian-American male...
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Trauma tried to kick down the door. Compassion is helping me heal.
The artwork is an original piece titled "Someone at the Door" by Chicago artist Ken Shaw. I bought it about 35 years ago. (The first part of this piece was written in-the-moment, as an email to a friend following what, for me, was a traumatic experience. The second part of this piece was written about 10 days later, as part of a healing reflection. It occurs to me that this experience, and the reflections, might help someone else experiencing trauma and/or seeking compassion for self or...
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What a Therapist Wants You to Know If You’re Struggling With Trauma During COVID-19 [themighty.com]
My work — whether this is my person-to-person therapy services or everything I write and teach about online — is oriented towards helping those who come from trauma backgrounds (whether this is isolated trauma or complex relational trauma ) heal from, make sense of, and move forward with their lives, building something beautiful after really hard things have happened. Something tells me that, in the coming years, my work as a trauma therapist may be required more than ever. And yet also,...
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What is Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD)?
Most people have heard of post-traumatic stress disorder that afflicts many men and women returning from a war zone. It is characterized by flashbacks, unstable moods, and survivor’s remorse. However, many have never heard of a condition that often develops in childhood and changes the course of the child’s life forever, complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD). For a good definition of CPTSD, we turned to Beauty After Bruises, an organization that offers outreach focused on adult...
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What Survivors of Complex Trauma Want You to Know [marieclaire.com.au]
By Grace Back, Marie Claire, October 28, 2019 The 28th of October marks the tenth anniversary of Blue Knot Day, established by the Blue Knot Foundation to raise awareness of the more than five million adult survivors of complex trauma. This year's theme was: untangle the knot of complex trauma. Blue Knot Foundation President Dr Cathy Kezelman AM said Blue Knot Day was about uniting Australians to help untangle the knot and complexities of trauma and abuse to support the recovery, resilience...
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When Hidden Grief Gets Triggered During COVID-19 Confinement
first published by The Meadows 4/15/20 Our sense of loss during the current COVID-19 crisis can trigger hidden emotions from when we experienced a sense of loss before. Whatever early losses you have had in your life — whether they be your own divorce, your parents, or both, or the abandonment of one parent, a childhood or parental illness or death, financial upheaval, constant moving around, or growing up with parental addiction or adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) — they are likely to...
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When Mindfulness Is a Trauma Trigger: April #MeToo
While mindfulness can be a powerful tool for self-care, it can also act as a trauma trigger. Here I describe how I've come to terms with that.
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When Things Get Out of Hand: Trauma and the Triune Brain [goodtherapy.org]
In recent decades, neuroscience and psychotherapy have joined forces in seeking to understand the biological bases of behavior. The brain is a complex organ, and as we study its function and adaptations we create a window of understanding into how our brains, bodies, and psyches respond to traumatic stimuli. Have you ever heard of the triune brain? This is a simplified, three-part model of the brain, as originally explained by Dr. Daniel Siegel , that helps us to understand the neurological...
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Are You Re-Traumatizing Yourself? 16 Things We Do That Can Set Us Back with Childhood PTSD
Part of the damage from abuse and neglect in childhood is what actually happened when we were kids. But a significant part of the problem today comes from what I call "Inside Traumas." These are self-defeating behaviors that are common to people who are frequently in a state of dysregulation. They start as an innocent attempt to feel calm and stable, but they can grow into significant traumas that cause real problems for us and others. If you'd like to learn about my online course, Healing...
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Cancer as a survivor
Many people use the phrase CPTSD to stand for PTSD from complex trauma. To me, C-PTSD means cancer and PTSD. I have cancer and I’m a trauma survivor. I’m a survivor with cancer but not yet a cancer survivor. Will I be a survivor squared?
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Childhood PTSD and Avoidance: Learning to Be OK in Groups (Resilience Series)
It’s super common for those of us who grew up with abuse and neglect when we were small, to feel as adults that we are on the outside somehow. When we're in groups we feel as if we are only partly in it, and never really included . Or we start as a full participant but pull away over time. We un-include ourselves. But it feel like other people are keeping us out. The telltale sign that being on the outside could be a personal choice, even when it doesn’t feel like it, is that we’re almost...
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Conversations with a Wounded Healer Podcast with Sarah Buino and Brad Kammer
It was a pleasure to be a guest on the Conversations with a Wounded Healer Podcast with Sarah Buino . We are both therapists focused on addressing Complex Trauma. And, we have both experienced our own attachment, relational and transgenerational trauma. On this podcast we discuss the importance of body-mind modalities that go beneath people’s symptoms in order to address the disrupted psychobiological patterns impacted by unresolved trauma. We share our own experiences as therapists,...
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CPTSD and Procrastination: Healing the Feeling of Paralysis (Resilience Series)
Have you ever had the experience where you know you should do something -- like go to work on time, or get ready for an important meeting, or just brush your teeth before bed -- but you just couldn't do it? Everybody procrastinates sometimes, but for people who experienced abuse and neglect in childhood, procrastinating can morph into a kind of paralysis. I’ve had this happen; I’ve spent whole seasons in this place before. And it's so demoralizing when it’s happening to know that you’re here...
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CPTSD: How to Transform Fear, and Develop INNER STRENGTH
Now that the pandemic has us all in a crisis situation, we’re about to find out to find out who falls apart in a crisis, and who rises up to serve, lead and encourage others. The ones who shine are not always who we expected — have you noticed this? Here in California we’ve been sheltering in place for over two weeks now. Everywhere in the world, we’re trying to figure out how best to respond to the pandemic, how best to care for ourselves and the people we love. It’s a work in progress. For...
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Dancing in the Rain: On Becoming More Emotionally Resilient [psychcentral.com]
During the first half of my life, I tried to find THE solution to my depression and anxiety — a cure that would forever eradicate my symptoms. I was a gullible consumer of dogmatic books and advice promising Nirvana: by balancing my gut bacteria, by committing to a daily meditation practice, by taking fish oil and vitamin D, or by sweating out my toxins through hot yoga six times a week. While those are all pieces of my recovery program today, none of them alone provided the answer. After...
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Dysregulation & CPTSD -- Triggered by Hurrying and Overwhelm?
Note: This article is a transcript of a video excerpted from my online course Dysregulation Bootcamp. Brain and emotional dysregulation are common in adults who experienced abuse and neglect in childhoodhood, and is linked to problems with mood, mental focus, health and relationships. Hurrying is a huge trigger for a lot of people with Childhood PTSD -- everything from trying to get out the door in the morning, to rushing through traffic, to just getting overwhelmed with everything you’re...
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Free Live &Online - Daily Meditation & Support Groups [mindfulleader.org]
From Mindful Leader, March 22, 2020 To help keep us connected while we are isolated, help us stay calm during a time of great anxiety, to give us an opportunity to care for one another, and to be together, we are providing free live & online - daily meditation & support groups multiple times throughout the day. Every weekday, Monday - Friday, from Monday, March 23rd - Friday, May 1st at the times listed below we will offer 30 minute live & online - daily meditation & support...
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Free Webinars Teach You to Calm Brain Dysregulation From Childhood PTSD
I've just scheduled five free Zoom webinars in the next four weeks, open to you and others interested in learning and trying my "Daily Practice." These are the techniques I've used for more than 25 years to re-regulate my brain and emotions, supporting the healing of Childhood PTSD. There are two particular and simple techniques we'll cover in each 55-minute webinar: 1. Writing fears and resentments 2. 20-minute simple meditation Plus time for Q&A with me Get more info and register here.
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How unprocessed trauma is stored in the body [medium.com/@biobeats]
When all is well, our brain is the greatest supercomputer on earth. A complex network of about 100 billion neurons, it’s not only great at processing and organising information — it’s really, really fast. Every second, somewhere between 18 and 640 trillion electric pulses are zipping through your brain. This matrix carefully encodes and stores your memories and experiences, collectively making up the unique mosaic of you. But what happens when a shock disrupts this system? And why is it that...
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Neuroplasticity and Mindfulness
To understand the treatments for complex post-traumatic stress disorder, it is helpful to understand the interaction between neuroplasticity and mindfulness.
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Paving the Way to Healing Complex Trauma [eurekalert.org]
By Dan Salmon, EurekAlert!, December 13, 2019 A major study led by researchers at La Trobe University in Australia has identified key themes that will be used to inform strategies to support Australian Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander parents in the first years of their children's lives. The Healing the Past by Nurturing the Future project aims to break the cycle of intergenerational and complex trauma experienced by Aboriginal and Torres Strait islander people, by co-designing...
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Reconnecting to your Body after Peritraumatic Dissociation
In this article, we will talk about one of the most common symptoms of complex post-traumatic stress disorder – dissociation. We will explore different methods and tools that help us to reconnect with our body in the long term. Since one of those tools is therapy, we will also talk about the limits of talk therapy, and address how working with our body directly can teach us new and healthier responses when we are overwhelmed. Definition and Explanation of Dissociation For every trauma...
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Resentment: A Trigger for CPTSD and Dysregulation
What’s the difference between anger and resentment in Childhood PTSD? Is it really so wrong to be resentful? Isn’t there a risk of becoming a forgiving “doormat” if you lose the resentment you carry against those who wronged you? In this video I explain the everyday toxicity of resentful thoughts, and how to use my Daily Practice to release resentment and fear, and gain more clarity, and more power to make choices in life. You can learn my techniques for releasing fear and resentment, and...
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Seven Benefits of Working with a Therapy Animal from a Handler's Perspective
Sometimes I feel selfish for walking away from our therapy dog sessions with my heart overflowing with joy, a smile radiating from my face AND heart. I love watching this dog turn a child’s tears into giggles. Sammie has a thing for kids. Her tail wags every time she sees one. Whether we are walking the halls at a school or the trails at a nature preserve. She wants to meet them all and offer a snuggle. As a result, her tail thumps in canine happiness, and I just can’t help but grin.
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Sick and Stressed from CPTSD? Power Up Your SELF CARE (Resilience Series)
I’ve been talking about resilience in recent posts — the obstacles that hold back recovery, and the strengths we need to keep healing. Last week the topic was fear. In this post (and the video that goes with it) I want to go up a layer to the next strength, and that’s self-care . I used to think self-care was just hot baths and chocolate for people whose problems were so small that this would actually solve them. But 25 years of continuous healing and strength-building has taught me that,...
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Sick and Stressed from CPTSD? Power Up Your SELF CARE (Resilience Series)
I’ve been talking about resilience in recent posts — the obstacles that hold back recovery, and the strengths we need to keep healing. Last week the topic was fear. In this post (and the video that goes with it) I want to go up a layer to the next strength, and that’s self-care . I used to think self-care was just hot baths and chocolate for people whose problems were so small that this would actually solve them. But 25 years of continuous healing and strength-building has taught me that,...
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Six Signs Your Brain is Dysregulated (and Ten Steps to Get Re-Regulated Again)
Adults who experienced early trauma are prone to dysregulation of the brain and nervous system, especially in response to stress. Dysregulation, in turn, can trigger (or exacerbate) depression, anxiety, illness, addiction and emotional outbursts. So clearly, learning to re-regulate is the first step in healing the effects of Childhood PTSD. If you think you may be experiencing dysregulation, learn about common symptoms (as well as ten on-the-spot healing techniques) on this free download.
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Structure of brain networks is not fixed (neurosciencenews.com)
Summary: Brain networks are spatially and functionally fluid, and not static, as previously believed. Source: Georgia State University The shape and connectivity of brain networks — discrete areas of the brain that work together to perform complex cognitive tasks — can change in fundamental and recurring ways over time, according to a study led by Georgia State University. The interaction and communication among neurons, known as “functionally connectivity,” gives rise to brain networks.
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Re: What Survivors of Complex Trauma Want You to Know [marieclaire.com.au]
I can't praise this article enough. The survivor perspective is so valuable and gets far too little attention. And a knot is exactly what complex trauma feels and behaves like. Thanks for posting this here, Rafael.
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Re: What Survivors of Complex Trauma Want You to Know [marieclaire.com.au]
I like that she mentions dissociation. I have been going to therapy for over 30 years and really had no idea about dissociation. I though it was something you could put a verbal memory to or just spacing out for a bit..... but dissociation is so much more. I don't think that childhood trauma can be healed until the treatment people all come to understand a whole lot more about dissociation and about how much of the symptoms of complex PTSD are really not accessible to the conscious mind.
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Re: Toxic Childhood? 5 Spiritual Exercises to Heal the Soul [psychologytoday.com]
Hi Laura, Thanks for sharing this very important article! The mother-daughter relationship is complex, and in many cases informed by the mother's unmet needs, hopes, and aspirations. The unresolved trauma and suffering experienced by a parent will, invariably, shape and inform the trajectory of a child's life. This article allows us to consider, what many might see, as the unthinkable...a mother who does not or cannot provide the love and support that many associate with mother role. I think...
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Re: Toxic Childhood? 5 Spiritual Exercises to Heal the Soul [psychologytoday.com]
Hi, Tosca, Yes, it's an uncomfortable topic for many and it often evokes denial in those who don't wish to face the reality that in many cases, a mother's unmet needs, unaddressed trauma, mental health issues, or other difficulties directly impact her children and often in turn traumatize them. It's taboo in our society (and I'm guessing in many other societies) to view or discuss mothers in any but the most flattering--even idealistic--light. We're not doing anyone any favors or supporting...
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Re: Defining Resilience Series: Step 5 - Healthy Habit Formation
Thank you for the positive feedback! I just read one of your "Ten Tools for Trauma Survivors" blog and felt the same about it . . . I could tell you were sharing your truth as you've lived it and healed from it. Excellent! As an EMDR fan (98 sessions over a 4 year period for complex trauma), I love reading about others' experiences with it. Thank you. Peace, Teri
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Re: Defining Resilience Series: Step 5 - Healthy Habit Formation
Teri, I'm glad you enjoyed the "Ten Tools for Trauma Survivors" post, but I did not write it, I was just sharing it here! The only attribution I could find on the blog where it was posted was "Abuse Survivor". I hope there was nothing about the post that led anyone to believe that I was taking credit for it. I would never want to do that. (I do have an anonymous blog, but this is not from that blog and I did not write it.)
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Re: Defining Resilience Series: Step 5 - Healthy Habit Formation
Oh my gosh! I totally looked for an author name on the blog, but did not see one. My bad for assuming it was yours. Thanks for clarifying.
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The Healing Effects on the Brain from Mindfulness, Prayer, and Meditation
In January, we have focused on how mindfulness, prayer, and meditation can help complex trauma survivors climb from the pit of despair into the sunshine of healing. In this last piece, we shall examine the neuroscience behind mindfulness, prayer, and meditation plus tie up any loose ends. Changes in the Brain from Complex Trauma Childhood trauma often leaves its victims with damages to the regions of the brain that control emotions, memory, and reasoning. These brain regions include the...
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The Dark Side of People-Pleasing
If you’re feeling like the people YOU like, don’t like YOU -- and you don’t know why -- the first thing you want to look at is whether you are people-pleasing. People-pleasing is the act of changing yourself to make people like you -- trying to match their interests and values, flattering them, and hiding how you really think and feel in hopes that they’ll let you in, and keep you in their lives. People-pleasing is really common for people who were abused and neglected in childhood. It’s...
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Mental Health Awareness: When Suffering Is Not an Illness
When I was an adolescent and young adult, I struggled with depression. As I reflect back on that time, so much of what I was experiencing was deeply tied to coming to terms with my sexuality. Growing up in the 1980’s in a relatively conservative town, I was closeted (even to myself) until I was a young adult. The pain and fear of being different, of not belonging, of being judged or rejected for who I was more than my adolescent brain could wrap its conscious head around.
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Toxic Stress, ACEs, and Polyvagal Theory
Stress is a normal part of life that no one can fully escape. However, when stress becomes toxic, it can affect our lives in drastic fashions that may change our life’s outcome. Adverse childhood experiences tie into toxic stress and both can cause considerable harm to both children and again when these kids grow to become adults. This article will explore the connection between toxic stress, ACEs, and how understanding them through the polyvagal theory can help us to find ways to defeat...
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Unbecoming an Armadillo: Recovering from Trauma with EMDR
Unbecoming an Armadillo By: Victoria F. Burns, PhD, LSW Victoriafrances49@gmail.com Instagram: @betesandbites “When you are traumatized, you are basically in a permanent defensive mode” — Gabor Mate I’m sitting across from Meg on her charcoal grey love seat. My forearms are resting on a velvety mustard-yellow throw cushion and I’m holding crescent shaped pulsers in each hand. Meg’s my psychologist; a rare gem who specializes in chronic illness and trauma. Every two weeks, we spend an hour...