Tagged With "Helen Hazelmare"

The taboo of speaking out against The Mother is messing us up. The Uncles and Fathers get the worst rap  –  for good reason, sadly, according to the numbers  — but there are Mothers out there doing harm, too. We just don’t allow ourselves to talk about it. The infallible icon of The Mother is a big one to address much less topple. We are socialized with language surrounding Mother Countries and tell tales of superpowers of the all-seeing maternal eye, one that can see you sneaking into a...

This is a great article. Thank you, Laura. I completely agree with this. Early in my career as a psychotherapist, I worked with abused children, adult survivors and male and female perpetrators. Some of these children and adults had mothers who did unspeakable things to them. There is a double standard. From my experience, it seemed easier for authorities to believe children who disclosed abuse by men then to believe children who alleged abuse by women. But I heard the stories. Contrary to...

As a survivor, for most of my life that double standard held me back from acknowledging my mother's role in my traumatization. And, yes, I suspect her behavior was/is a result of being traumatized herself. But denying that she's capable of exactly what she did only delayed my own healing. It was when I was able to finally break through that barrier (and that breaking through is a process that I still struggle with, because pointing the finger at one's mother is TABOO) that I was able to make...