Tagged With "boundary setting"
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The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
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The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
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The Importance of Connecting with Your Inner Child
When I first started therapy, every time I heard the words "inner child" I wanted to puke. First of all, the only memories I have from my childhood aren't really memories. They are home videos. I have no idea how I felt as a child, and I certainly didn't care to do so. I wanted to put all of that in the past. After all, could my so-called "inner child" really play that big of a role in my life today? Well, as it turns out, she does. Sometimes, my inner child takes over, and I become an...
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The Many Faces of Grief
“…Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding…. And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self….” – From The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran There are many kinds of loss that we can encounter in life. However, losses surrounding addiction can be particularly confusing; they tend...
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To Heal CPTSD, Do You Need to Love Yourself?
One of the messages that’s been drilled into us by popular culture is that “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else.” This is something people tell you when you get your heart broken and you feel like you must be… no good! And for a lot of years, every time I heard this I felt like a different species than everyone else. Because there were times when I didn’t particularly love myself – and here and there when I was younger, times when I hated myself. But there was a never...
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VA TICNs eNote Special Edition Vol. 4 [grscan.com]
*Special Edition: Uplift* Below you will find some resources to help with the life changes as a result of COVID-19. Please feel free to pick and choose to share with your networks or simply forward along this email. Tuning Into the Beauty of the World from Home Explore.com has tons of live feeds, from the Sheep Barn at Farm Sanctuary and the Gathering Room at Old Friends Senior Dog Sanctuary to the Smith River in California's Jedidiah Smith Redwoods State Park . Take a virtual garden tour on...
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Wellness and Resiliency Toolkit for Kids with Trauma
I'm excited to share a booklet created for youth in Oregon foster care at a Wellness camp this summer. Youth were provided with these quick, easy and effective (and evidence based) "Mindful Moments" exercises in their Wellness Toolkits and they were practiced throughout the day at camp so that they could be remembered in times of stress and dysregulation. The exercised are designed to quickly bring them back to a state of calm. The youth really enjoyed them, and found them easy and...
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When Hidden Grief Gets Triggered During COVID-19 Confinement
first published by The Meadows 4/15/20 Our sense of loss during the current COVID-19 crisis can trigger hidden emotions from when we experienced a sense of loss before. Whatever early losses you have had in your life — whether they be your own divorce, your parents, or both, or the abandonment of one parent, a childhood or parental illness or death, financial upheaval, constant moving around, or growing up with parental addiction or adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) — they are likely to...
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7 Pointers for Setting Boundaries When You’re A True-Blue People Pleaser [psychcentral.com]
When you’re a people pleaser, setting boundaries can feel painful. We worry we’ll hurt someone’s feelings. We fear we’ll fracture the relationship. We think saying no is rude or cruel or not compassionate—and we see ourselves as the opposite of these things. And we simply don’t have much practice with setting boundaries. And so, it’s so much easier to simply not set them. It’s so much easier to stay quiet. But it’s certainly not healthier. Many view boundaries as walls. But, according to...
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Alcoholics Anonymous members find support online during coronavirus pandemic [cnn.com]
By Denise Royal, CNN, April 5, 2020 Anthony B. used to get to his Alcoholics Anonymous meetings early enough to set up the folding chairs synonymous with the gatherings. For Anthony it was a small way to contribute and also spend extra time with those like himself in recovery. "After we set up the chairs, we grab a bite to eat and catch up," he said. "The meeting before the meeting is another way that we support each other." [ Please click here to read more .]
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Are You Re-Traumatizing Yourself? 16 Things We Do That Can Set Us Back with Childhood PTSD
Part of the damage from abuse and neglect in childhood is what actually happened when we were kids. But a significant part of the problem today comes from what I call "Inside Traumas." These are self-defeating behaviors that are common to people who are frequently in a state of dysregulation. They start as an innocent attempt to feel calm and stable, but they can grow into significant traumas that cause real problems for us and others. If you'd like to learn about my online course, Healing...
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Cancer as a survivor
Many people use the phrase CPTSD to stand for PTSD from complex trauma. To me, C-PTSD means cancer and PTSD. I have cancer and I’m a trauma survivor. I’m a survivor with cancer but not yet a cancer survivor. Will I be a survivor squared?
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CRI is hiring an Associate Director!
Community Resilience Initiative is seeking an innovative and passionate individual to join our organization as an Associate Director (AD). The AD reports to the Executive Director and to the Board of Directors. Job Overview The role of the Associate Director is to sustain the resilience-based, trauma-responsive capacity building work at the local, regional, state and national stage for which CRI is recognized. Success in this position will be evidenced by recognition of its exceptional...
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Defining Resilience: Nature or Nurture? [thriveglobal.com]
By Ben Saravia, Thrive Global, August 5, 2019 We all know them, and history is littered with them. People, be they friends, family or colleagues, who seem so able to rise above whatever life may throw at them. Not only do they seem to take adversity in their stride, but when they are set back, they have an ability to quickly ‘bounce back’ – and may even grow from the event. Perhaps they are just lucky? Or is it a skill? How come they seem so resilient? The American Psychological Association...
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Defining Resilience Series: Step 5 - Healthy Habit Formation
Transforming our habits is a powerful tool we can utilize as we continue along our healing journey.
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Get Unstuck - Guided Journal & Online Circle
Sometimes a high ACEs score or history of trauma can have you feeling stuck. You see patterns playing out around you and 'to you' and you can't seem to get yourself out of it. I've been there. I've also gotten myself out of it and used all kinds of tools to do it. I am a certified coach who believes in providing people with tools of their own to move into a place of self-leadership. We all have the capacity to heal. It takes work, self-reflection, ownership of our own behaviors and...
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Helping Someone with PTSD: Helping a Loved One While Taking Care of Yourself (www.helpguide.org/)
"PTSD can take a heavy toll on relationships. It can be hard to understand your loved one’s behavior—why they are less affectionate and more volatile. You may feel like you’re walking on eggshells or living with a stranger. You may have to take on a bigger share of household tasks, deal with the frustration of a loved one who won’t open up, or even deal with anger or disturbing behavior. The symptoms of PTSD can also lead to job loss, substance abuse, and other problems that affect the whole...
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It Makes Sense
I felt inadequate and ill-prepared to speak to licensed mental health professionals about ACEs. But when I was asked to attend the 40th Annual Training Institute on Behavioral Health & Addictive Disorders in Clearwater, Florida to represent ACEs Connection, I was honored and eager. My background is in health planning, not mental or behavioral health. I review health data and look for gaps and inequities. My time is spent looking for and addressing the health needs of a community. So,...
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20 Caregiver Resolutions for 2020
20 Caregiver Resolutions for 2020 Let someone make you a meal at least once a week and that someone can be anyone (including a fast-food chain restaurant Keep a daily Gratitude Journal and start each day with, “ I am grateful that the World has me” Don’t fold any fitted sheets for the entire year, just roll them into a ball Once a month go to a playground with a friend, a neighbor, sibling, spouse, co-worker and ask them to push you on the swing Stay in the shower or tub 5 minutes longer...
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Managing Post-Traumatic Stress in a Pandemic: 3/19 Practices & Resources Update
Are you looking for new ways to get connected, supported, or to manage stress while managing post-traumatic stress during this pandemic? I am. No matter what our past or present life circumstances, it's safe to say a whole bunch of us are feeling more stressed and if we live with chronic post-traumatic stress to begin with, we might be feeling especially vulnerable right now. New Practices & Resources as of 3/19/2020 Ask BR: COVID-19 (Belleruth Naparstek Answering Questions) Bioenergetic...
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My Story about Healing Moving from “What is wrong with me” to “What is happening – how can I take better care of myself?”
When I was a little girl, I had a lot of ear infections. Did anyone else experience that? Every summer in the middle of the fun of swimming in the pool, I would get an ear infection and one year I got one on my birthday. Obviously, I still remember it. It was a sad time. I always felt like I was missing out on things. And it became a pattern. I would go to the doctor and get lamb’s wool and drops put in my ear. It hurt a lot. I can still remember trying to get comfortable lying on the couch...
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Need 45 Trauma-Informed Practitioners or Clinicians For Study on Using a Brain Regulation Headband-Bellabee Designed To Help Trauma Survivors Regulate Their Brains.
Need 45 Trauma-Informed Practitioners or Clinicians For Study on Using a Brain Regulation Headband-Bellabee Designed To Help Trauma Survivors Regulate Their Brains. All trauma informed practitioners who are suffering with or who work with adults or children suffering with C-PTSD, PTSD, Developmental Trauma, Depression, Anxiety, ADHD & Sleep Disorders are welcome to apply to be considered for this study. The deadline to request and submit your application is: March 20, 2020 As a trauma...
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Need 45 Trauma-Informed Practitioners or Clinicians For Study on Using a Brain Regulation Headband-Bellabee Designed To Help Trauma Survivors Regulate Their Brains.
Need 45 Trauma-Informed Practitioners or Clinicians For Study on Using a Brain Regulation Headband-Bellabee Designed To Help Trauma Survivors Regulate Their Brains. All trauma informed practitioners who are suffering with or who work with adults or children suffering with C-PTSD, PTSD, Developmental Trauma, Depression, Anxiety, ADHD & Sleep Disorders are welcome to apply to be considered for this study. We currently have 41 applicants, and applicantions are approved on a first come first...
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Preparing and Advocating for Medical Care as a Trauma Survivor
With all the health care changes and challenges in today’s society, going to the doctor or dentist is difficult enough for the average person. With a history of childhood or adolescent sexual trauma, a medical appointment can become re-traumatizing if not handled with care by the survivor and provider. Think about it, some other adult is making decisions on the survivor’s behalf, touching their body, has their hands in the survivor’s mouth rendering them unable to make their needs known or...
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Self-Care Empowerment
Our mission at Grandfamily Today always centers around connection and ending isolation for Grandfamilies. Join me free for 5 weeks of Self-Care Empowerment. You can set your own schedule to connect-share-feel empowered! This is interactive! Join us! We will be using email and Marco Polo. If you’ve never used Marco Polo, don’t worry it’s easy and free! It was designed by a married couple to stay in touch with family around the globe. It is video based, but short videos and our group will be...
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Self-Compassion Is Your Perfect Present Guidance, Even In The Most Troubled And Turbulent Of Times.
There is one sure form of guidance you can follow every moment of the day, even in today's most turbulent of times, to ensure that you follow the path in life that is truly right for you, truly good for you. The simple way of describing this form of guidance is: making self-loving or self-compassionate choices for yourself in the present moment . Be guided by your heart-sense regarding your every thought and action . When things don’t turn out the way you want them to, instead of blaming and...
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Self-Compassion Research: 4 Ways Studies Show That Being Kind to Yourself Matters (wakeup-world.com)
Self-compassion is not the same as self-esteem . Self-esteem involves thinking good things about yourself, valuing your skills and qualities and abilities, and knowing your intrinsic worth. Self-compassion, on the other hand, is about recognizing that you have faults, but also recognizing that these faults are normal and part of a common human experience. People who are self-compassionate avoid self-criticism and instead accept that their imperfections will sometimes lead to mistakes. It is...
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Set Conditions to Feel More Calm, Clear, and Open This Year - with LARLAR [jillianpransky.com]
I remember it like yesterday. It was January 1993, I was walking up Fifth Avenue in Manhattan when a small gold sign advertising a yoga studio caught my eye. I turned on a whim, went in, and some two hours later, found myself sobbing on my yoga mat. I knew I was tight from years of working out, but it wasn’t until that moment that I realized that under the tightness I’d lived with from pushing myself around — muscling through everything I encountered without taking a rest — was also a deep,...
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Structure of brain networks is not fixed (neurosciencenews.com)
Summary: Brain networks are spatially and functionally fluid, and not static, as previously believed. Source: Georgia State University The shape and connectivity of brain networks — discrete areas of the brain that work together to perform complex cognitive tasks — can change in fundamental and recurring ways over time, according to a study led by Georgia State University. The interaction and communication among neurons, known as “functionally connectivity,” gives rise to brain networks.
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Take Care of You in Troubled Times
Self-care strategies work. In my book, “Goodbye Anxiety, Hello Freedom”, I share 35 different strategies, as one-size- doesn’t -fit-all! Today, I’ve got 5 simple tips to share that will help you relax and find your emotional balance. The #1 Most Important Thing to Add to Your Self-Care Routine Limit how much media you consume and how often. I’ve said this for years and now it is absolutely critical. Checking the latest news over and over again is like taking a jackhammer to our nervous...
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Why Your Brain Needs to Dream (dailygood.org)
Research shows that dreaming is not just a byproduct of sleep, but serves its own important functions in our well-being. It’s said that time heals all wounds, but my research suggests that time spent in dream sleep is what heals. REM-sleep dreaming appears to take the painful sting out of difficult, even traumatic, emotional episodes experienced during the day, offering emotional resolution when you awake the next morning. REM sleep is the only time when our brain is completely devoid of the...
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Re: How You and Your Kids Can De-Stress During Coronavirus [pbs.org]
I like that! Forgot about those! And one of their best features is that, to enjoy it, you have to slow down and appreciate the effect of the 'glitter storm.' One of my favorite mentors told me long ago that the answer to many of the maladies I was observing was from what she called, 'too much, too fast.' I keep this in mind as much as I can, no matter what the situation, intervention or protocol. And I preach it to my students and clients: Slowing down helps us better regulate our system,...
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Re: How You and Your Kids Can De-Stress During Coronavirus [pbs.org]
"Too much, too fast." YES! Simple and clear but not easy to adjust that internal motor/setting/way of responding. Thanks for encouragement, reminder, explanation, and this comment, Jondi! It's just what I needed! Cissy
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Too Much Alone Time? Tips To Connect And Find Joy While Social Distancing [npr.org]
By Alison Aubrey, National Public Radio, May 10, 2020 We are social creatures. So it's no surprise that quarantine fatigue has begun to set in. "Humans are wired to come together physically," says psychologist Judith Moskowitz of Northwestern University. But, loneliness has become widespread in modern life. And, social distancing has just exacerbated the problem, Moskowitz says. Social connection is essential to our well-being, since prolonged isolation can increase the risk of depression...
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The Adult I Needed (Part 2 of 2) [thismustbenormal.wordpress.com]
When I was ten, my mother remarried. Two weeks later, my new stepfather revealed himself to be an abusive alcoholic with a gun fetish. I’m guessing that the first time he went on a drunken rampage my mother chalked it up to a bad day. Maybe she shook her head and said to herself, “men.” Before long, though, the now well-known cycle of abuse established itself in our household and that was that. Before long, I stopped calling him “Daddy”. It would be three years before my mother could manage...
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The Neurobiology of Trauma: Somatic Strategies for Resilience
The Neurobiology of Trauma: Somatic Approaches to Resilience By Jennifer Walsh As we have all come to experience over the past several months, trauma is simply a component of the human condition. While it affects both individuals and communities in a variety of ways, we have all experienced difficult, stressful, or even traumatic events over the course of our lifetime. Although social workers have traditionally worked with these vulnerable populations, there are numerous professionals...
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Unbecoming an Armadillo: Recovering from Trauma with EMDR
Unbecoming an Armadillo By: Victoria F. Burns, PhD, LSW Victoriafrances49@gmail.com Instagram: @betesandbites “When you are traumatized, you are basically in a permanent defensive mode” — Gabor Mate I’m sitting across from Meg on her charcoal grey love seat. My forearms are resting on a velvety mustard-yellow throw cushion and I’m holding crescent shaped pulsers in each hand. Meg’s my psychologist; a rare gem who specializes in chronic illness and trauma. Every two weeks, we spend an hour...
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My mom asked me to name the top things I wish she would have done better as a parent. My answer might surprise you.
Because I work in the field of child trauma and ACEs science education and prevention here at ACEs Connection, I end up talking about the subject nonstop. I am passionate about this field and making change so I enthusiastically share what I'm reading and learning with everyone who will listen. Those who will listen are often my parents. (This blog, by the way, is a personal piece of writing and does not necessarily reflect the views nor represent ACEs Connection.) I know not everyone's...
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200 hr yoga life skills & teacher training (**Donation based)
Skills and wisdom for creating the best possible experience of life. This program is designed to give you skills and understanding that you can use now AND that will continue to deepen and unfold over time. The curriculum is resilience-focused. What that means in a practical sense is that the starting place is of acknowledgment of the traumas potentially being held by yourself and your students. This allows for these amazing practices to be applied in a way that is most supportive of the...
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Free viewing of "How Many ACEs Are You Holding?"
I was asked to offer a free viewing of our new documentary video on the topic of ACEs. Due to my limited knowledge of technology it took a minute to get this set up. Now we can announce: View “How Many ACEs Are You Holding?” for FREE! Use code ACES-FREE on October 13th, 2020 to see the entire video free . Use this link to view. Coupon will only work on the Vimeo rental page for How Many Aces are You Holding? , not the subscription page. This post will appear on the homepage of our website...
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COVID, ACES, and Radical Self-Care
COVID, ACES and Radical Self-Care Dr. LateshIa Woodley, LPC, NCC & Alexis Kelly, MPA COVID Thursday, March 13, 2020, I woke up thinking I love my life, I have the best job in the world, I get to wake up every day and strive to make a difference in the lives of students and families. Little did I know that a few hours later my life, the lives of my family, and the lives of the families that I serve would forever be changed due to the COVID pandemic. Prior to the pandemic, I was leading...
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Re: What Really Makes Us Resilient? [Harvard Business Review]
A terrific, encouraging, inspiring, validating and informative article that was a pleasure to read. On how understanding the truth, like understanding ACEs and their effects, gives us a whole different set of tools and ways of coping and working with adversity in our lives. Thanks for sharing.
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If you want to heal childhood trauma, you have to heal your body.
356 pounds?! Are you kidding me, Michael? What the fuck are you doing to yourself? Every morning I would wake up and watch the number on the scale tick up as I slowly allowed obesity to run wild and consume my body. Fat . I was always the chubby kid. I shopped in the boy's husky section at Walmart as a preteen. Husky for the unware is the polite nomenclature for fat kids. I spent summers running around with my shirt on. I ate entire boxes of gummy bears for dinner. I never ordered just one...
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Self-care is not participating when you don’t want to.
There is power in standing up for yourself and sticking to your personal boundaries regarding how you participate in life as a trauma survivor. I hate the constant barrage of showing up because of obligation. Fuck that. I mean, when I think about the fact that people will shame you over not doing something that you don’t want to do, I get irate. I think about how many times in our lives that we are put in the position of showing up due to social constructs, and I want to smash my face into...
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The Children of Pornhub why does Canada allow this company to profit off videos of exploitation and assault? ( New York Times)
Pornhub prides itself on being the cheery, winking face of naughty, the website that buys a billboard in Times Square and provides snow plows to clear Boston streets. It donates to organizations fighting for racial equality and offers steamy content free to get people through Covid-19 shutdowns. That supposedly “wholesome Pornhub” attracts 3.5 billion visits a month, more than Netflix, Yahoo or Amazon. Pornhub rakes in money from almost three billion ad impressions a day. One ranking lists...
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Getting Back Up on That Horse: The Struggle for Resilience in 2020
It’s little contested 2020 has been a sh*# show for most every American. It has personally knocked me down countless times. There are so many aspects of this pandemic and 2020 that have challenged my resilience as an individual, a mother, a small-business owner, and a female leader in my field. Despite what people assume, resilience-lacking 2020 hasn’t been a personal failing. Resilience is not a choice. Resilience is not an attitude or a mindset. Resilience is a physiological phenomenon. I...