Tagged With "Nurturing Healing Love"
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The Emptiness You Feel is Trying to Tell You Something
I read a short story last week that was about emptiness and love. That funny thing that happens sometimes, happened, and three different people wrote to me within about 24 hours about… emptiness and love. They were feeling -- and I think a lot of us are feeling it -- a harsh, empty, loveless feeling that keeps swooping into their consciousness during this quarantined period, sounding the alarm that something HUGE is missing from our lives. One woman even said “I know you’ll think I’m crazy...
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The House of Mourning (www.themoth.org)
Sometimes I free-write and riff when I first wake up. I let go of grammar, punctuation and sometimes even logic. I follow the words and the pen and see what happens. It doesn't have to be neat, artistic, poetic or amazing. It feels wonderful and is like splashing around in a pool in the mind. Today I was thinking about grief and ACEs and storyteller because I'd been listening to Kate Braestrup tell a story on Moth. Beautiful audio is what this is. I recommend listening. It's about grief,...
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The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
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The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
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The Importance of Connecting with Your Inner Child
When I first started therapy, every time I heard the words "inner child" I wanted to puke. First of all, the only memories I have from my childhood aren't really memories. They are home videos. I have no idea how I felt as a child, and I certainly didn't care to do so. I wanted to put all of that in the past. After all, could my so-called "inner child" really play that big of a role in my life today? Well, as it turns out, she does. Sometimes, my inner child takes over, and I become an...
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The Many Faces of Grief
“…Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding…. And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self….” – From The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran There are many kinds of loss that we can encounter in life. However, losses surrounding addiction can be particularly confusing; they tend...
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The Secret to Self-Healing: It’s All About Vibration (wakeup-world.com)
Have you ever wondered about the “real reason” we get sick or why some of us are more susceptible to germs and even cancer cells? No doubt, if we could identify the primary cause of illness , we would have the secret to health and healing. Although modern medicine may proclaim to have all the answers, traditional doctors have no way to explain how thousands of terminal patients spontaneously heal against all odds. In fact, the Remission Project catalogued more than 35000 medically reported...
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The Self-Care Acronym You Need to Remember on Bad Mental Health Days [themighty.com]
Laura's note: While the author's example of rest includes watching television, in my opinion, true rest--the kind that is crucial to restoring us and that often is so hard to come by--does not involve screens of any kind. That is not to say that chilling in front of a screen can't be relaxing and fun--who doesn't need to zone out now and again?--but the deep rest we need to heal and fill our internal stores so we are equipped to handle stress on a bad mental health day or ANY day comes from...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020
Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health “ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”. Kahlil Gibran The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020 http://www.survivingspirit.com/ http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-04-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_April_2020.pdf Hi Folks, Obviously we are all experiencing some very trying times and...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020
Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health “ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”. Kahlil Gibran The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020 http://www.survivingspirit.com/ http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-04-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_April_2020.pdf Hi Folks, Obviously we are all experiencing some very trying times and...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter February 2020
Hi Folks, The latest edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php or http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-02-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_February_2020.pdf To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via Contact Us, Thanks! Michael. Newsletter Contents : 1] This coat design isn't just saving lives. It's launching new careers for homeless people – CNN...
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This Is Exactly How Laughter Can Help You Heal and Live a Healthier Life (thriveglobal.com)
Once the healing power of laughter was on the medical map, researchers began to systematically explore its stress-reducing, health-promoting, pain-relieving potential. Laughter has now been shown to decrease stress levels and improve mood in cancer patients receiving chemotherapy, to decrease hostility in patients in mental hospitals, and to lower heart rate and blood pressure and enhance mood and performance in generally healthy IT professionals. In numerous experiments, people with every...
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Thoughts to share
Thoughts to share - “Abuse is never deserved, it is an exploitation of innocence.” Lorraine Nilon “When you can identify the insecurities inside the person that is hurting you then you can begin to heal. It isn’t about you. It is about their past.” Shannon L. Alder “Trauma… does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally heard only by the one held captive.” Danielle Bernock Take care, Michael A diagnosis is not a destiny “...
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Thoughts to share
“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” Lao Tzu “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” Martin Luther King, Jr. “A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything.” Malcolm X “There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance next time.” Malcolm X
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Thoughts to share
Wishing everyone peace and love during these difficult times. Take care, Michael. “Don't stress the could haves, if it should have, it would have.” - Unknown “How we perceive a situation and how we react to it is the basis of our stress. If you focus on the negative in any situation, you can expect high stress levels. However, if you try and see the good in the situation, your stress levels will greatly diminish.” – Catherine Pulsifer “Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but...
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Thoughts to share & Compassion for yourself
Thoughts to share - “The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.” - Caroline Myss “But one thing for sure, if you do not address your trauma, it will undress you.” - Sharon Wise “We can't always choose the music life plays for us, but we can choose how we dance to it.” - Unknown Compassion at the Mirror - Psychology Today - https://www.psychologytoday.co...ompassion-the-mirror "Having compassion for our own distress has been found to strengthen our...
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Thoughts to share & Compassion for yourself
Thoughts to share - “The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.” - Caroline Myss “But one thing for sure, if you do not address your trauma, it will undress you.” - Sharon Wise “We can't always choose the music life plays for us, but we can choose how we dance to it.” - Unknown Compassion at the Mirror - Psychology Today - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-clarity/201903/compassion-the-mirror "Having compassion for our own distress has...
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To Heal CPTSD, Do You Need to Love Yourself?
One of the messages that’s been drilled into us by popular culture is that “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else.” This is something people tell you when you get your heart broken and you feel like you must be… no good! And for a lot of years, every time I heard this I felt like a different species than everyone else. Because there were times when I didn’t particularly love myself – and here and there when I was younger, times when I hated myself. But there was a never...
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To Heal From Trauma, You Have to Feel Your Feelings [psychologytoday.com]
At any age, in any life stage, you can change. Whether you’re 77 years old or 17, you can learn, grow, adopt new habits, and make new choices to create a life you truly love. It may not always feel that way, though. When childhood emotional wounds tether you to the past, it can feel like you’re being swept away by a fast-moving current; although there are branches on either side of the riverbank to grab onto, something is mentally blocking you from reaching out. That “something” is a tether...
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To Help Heal Trauma, Talk Less, and Write More
For a lot of people with Childhood PTSD, talking about traumatic memories can make symptoms worse -- worse than if we were to do nothing at all. Yet talking about the past is the default mode of therapy for virtually everyone who is depressed, anxious or troubled about the past. It's true that talking can be crucial to emotional healing. But there is a lot of research that supports WRITING as a more effective way to communicate past trauma and relieve symptoms of Childhood PTSD. In this...
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Toxic Childhood? 5 Spiritual Exercises to Heal the Soul [psychologytoday.com]
Laura's Note: Though most of author Peg Streep's work focuses on mother-daughter relationships, the ideas in the following article could work well for anyone. How to bolster and support recovery with simple steps. For the last two decades, I’ve turned my attention to the mother-daughter relationships in all of its iterations but with a specific focus on the damage done to a daughter when a mother is unloving, emotionally distant, self-involved, controlling. hypercritical, or dismissive. At a...
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Toxic Childhood? 5 Ways to Jump-Start Your Healing in 2019 [blogs.psychcentral.com]
I’m a great believer in fresh starts, especially if you’re a work-in-progress and healing from childhood wounds and you’re feeling stuck, as everyone does now and again. To that end, I look to the start of a new month as a blank page, the start of a new season which always has a different kind of energy, and, of course, the biggest start-your-engines of them all, the New Year. But I’m not talking traditional resolutions here (because they don’t work, for one thing); instead, let’s focus on...
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Transcending Childhood Trauma [thefix.com]
"All healing is release from the past. It is enough to heal the past and make the future free. It is enough to let the present be accepted as it is." Course of Miracles Most addicts have survived some form of childhood trauma. In recovery, they must make an effort to heal the wounds of the past. They must also accept the fact that this is an inside job. Nothing outside of themselves is going to heal them. Therapy and support groups are supportive environments, but addicts have to do all the...
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Transforming Trauma Podcast: The Blind Spots of Privilege and Complex Trauma in Marginalized Communities
Transforming Trauma Podcast: The Blind Spots of Privilege and Complex Trauma in Marginalized Communities Claude Cayemitte, a clinical social worker and NARM Therapist, joins the Transforming Trauma podcast to examine how complex trauma impacts individuals from marginalized communities and how unrecognized cultural trauma can lead to misattunement in the therapeutic relationship. Using the NeuroAffective Relational Model as a foundation, and his own background as a Haitian-American male...
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Trauma, Attachment, and Relationships
Interventions in the Attachment and Relationship Problems Trauma Can Cause Julie De Wilde Alfred Adler Graduate School Abstract Much research has been done on the negative effects of trauma on attachment, which then has negative effects on relationships. Research more recently has focused on the positive post traumatic growth that can happen when clients receive safe, healthy attachment to a therapist they can trust. Research also includes the benefits to the client when a therapist includes...
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Trauma-Informed Resources Available During COVID-19 Quarantine (www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org)
Cissy's Note: We're not alone and organizations like the Attachment Trauma Network are summarizing resources and offerings and remembering the entire school community - including parents. Below, there's an excerpt from a recent blog post with resources. Also, per Julie Beem, the Executive Director of the Trauma Attachment Network, (she's smart, kind, and wonderful), more resources will be coming this week and next. And they will be shared here as soon as they are available. While these...
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Trauma tried to kick down the door. Compassion is helping me heal.
The artwork is an original piece titled "Someone at the Door" by Chicago artist Ken Shaw. I bought it about 35 years ago. (The first part of this piece was written in-the-moment, as an email to a friend following what, for me, was a traumatic experience. The second part of this piece was written about 10 days later, as part of a healing reflection. It occurs to me that this experience, and the reflections, might help someone else experiencing trauma and/or seeking compassion for self or...
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Using yoga to heal trauma [Fox 26 News]
MEDFORD, Ore. – Most people deal with some level of trauma in their life. Now, some are turning to an alternative practice to heal their pain. Mariane Ballete, the manager of Rasa Yoga Center , said her life began to unravel 11 years ago because of two deaths in her family. “One of the big losses of my life was when I lost my twins over 11 years ago and it spiraled me to want to move out of my life,” Ballete said. It’s a feeling of hopelessness that is all too common. “I think about it all...
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Vacancy: Self-Worth in the Mind of a Childhood Abuse Survivor
The feeling of having a healthy supply of self-worth is something I can only imagine might have been more readily available, natural and automatic if I was able to see that in myself as a child. As an adult survivor of childhood abuse, self-worth was not supplied in healthy doses while growing up.
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Wellness and Resiliency Toolkit for Kids with Trauma
I'm excited to share a booklet created for youth in Oregon foster care at a Wellness camp this summer. Youth were provided with these quick, easy and effective (and evidence based) "Mindful Moments" exercises in their Wellness Toolkits and they were practiced throughout the day at camp so that they could be remembered in times of stress and dysregulation. The exercised are designed to quickly bring them back to a state of calm. The youth really enjoyed them, and found them easy and...
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What a Therapist Wants You to Know If You’re Struggling With Trauma During COVID-19 [themighty.com]
My work — whether this is my person-to-person therapy services or everything I write and teach about online — is oriented towards helping those who come from trauma backgrounds (whether this is isolated trauma or complex relational trauma ) heal from, make sense of, and move forward with their lives, building something beautiful after really hard things have happened. Something tells me that, in the coming years, my work as a trauma therapist may be required more than ever. And yet also,...
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What is Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD)?
Most people have heard of post-traumatic stress disorder that afflicts many men and women returning from a war zone. It is characterized by flashbacks, unstable moods, and survivor’s remorse. However, many have never heard of a condition that often develops in childhood and changes the course of the child’s life forever, complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD). For a good definition of CPTSD, we turned to Beauty After Bruises, an organization that offers outreach focused on adult...
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When Hidden Grief Gets Triggered During COVID-19 Confinement
first published by The Meadows 4/15/20 Our sense of loss during the current COVID-19 crisis can trigger hidden emotions from when we experienced a sense of loss before. Whatever early losses you have had in your life — whether they be your own divorce, your parents, or both, or the abandonment of one parent, a childhood or parental illness or death, financial upheaval, constant moving around, or growing up with parental addiction or adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) — they are likely to...
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When Mindfulness Is a Trauma Trigger: April #MeToo
While mindfulness can be a powerful tool for self-care, it can also act as a trauma trigger. Here I describe how I've come to terms with that.
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Why Focus on Resilience? 2019 BPT Conference Big Idea Session with Teri Barila
“There comes a point where we need to stop just pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why they’re falling in” -Desmond Tutu. This quote captures the essence of why resilience matters. To Community Resilience Initiative, Resilience is not about “lifting yourself up by your bootstraps” or “bouncing back” from serious harm or injury. To us, Resilience is about self-discovery and self-awareness based on what the ACE Study, neurobiology, and epigenetics tell us...
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Why Focus on Resilience? 2019 BPT Conference Big Idea Session with Teri Barila
“There comes a point where we need to stop just pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why they’re falling in” -Desmond Tutu. This quote captures the essence of why resilience matters. To Community Resilience Initiative, Resilience is not about “lifting yourself up by your bootstraps” or “bouncing back” from serious harm or injury. To us, Resilience is about self-discovery and self-awareness based on what the ACE Study, neurobiology, and epigenetics tell us...
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Why It Pays to Fully Heal from Childhood Trauma [pro.psychcentral.com/exhausted-woman]
Janet reflected on the events of the past several days and instead of being embarrassed by her behavior, she was proud. She had purchased a new computer from a large retailer based on the specs and appearance. But when she began to use it, she discovered the store had done a bait and switch. They told her one thing about the product and sold her something completely different. After doing several rounds with their customer service and management department, she was told that the computer she...
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3 Ways Healthy Relationships Help Heal Trauma
Healthy relationships matter, especially when it comes to healing from trauma. Asking for help can be difficult for everyone. It can be especially difficult for those who have survived trauma. Through therapy, it’s possible to realize that you do truly deserve deep relationships as you grow and evolve through life—in the good times and the hard times.
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4 Techniques Used Around The World To Heal Trauma [mindbodygreen.com]
As a psychiatrist who has worked with psychological trauma for more than 20 years, I have seen and heard stories of violence, genocide, abuse, and loss from many places around the world. The context always differs, but people everywhere share the same emotions of grief, anxiety, anger, fear, and depression that grip us in the aftermath of a traumatic event. The nonprofit organization I founded and direct, The Center for Mind-Body Medicine (CMBM) , teaches tools of self-care and group support...
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4 Ways Childhood Trauma Haunts You As An Adult (& How To Move On) [yourtango.com]
The wounds from your childhood are still fresh. Understanding the effects of childhood trauma and abuse isn't easy, but it's worth exploring if you ever want to move on. You grew up and did the best you could to let go and move on. But, you’ve also had a lot of struggles, especially with mental health and relationships. You’ve suffered from anxiety. You don’t feel lovable. You haven’t been able to find love that works. You’re afraid of wanting too much. Maybe you have an eating disorder. You...
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5 Things Childhood Trauma Survivors Need in Order to Heal [themighty.com]
I spent many years absorbing the blame for my abusive family, and exhausted every possible avenue of attempting to “get along” with them. When I finally went no contact, it took another 10 years to feel safe enough to fully embrace my past and grieve. Even though I thought I had done quite a bit of work along the way, it has taken an entire lifetime for me to come to terms with certain aspects of the abuse. Some memories were locked away, some were buried under misplaced guilt and shame.
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5 Ways to Heal the Traumatized Brain (Part 4) [blogs.psychcentral.com]
"Someone who has experienced trauma also has gifts to offer all of us- in their depth, in their knowledge of our universal vulnerability, and their experience of the power of compassion.”- Sharon Salzberg What a week. You’d have to be living under a rock if you haven’t at all tuned in to the tumultuous news cycle in the US. Those that are survivors of trauma (specifically sexual assault and other forms of abuse) are incredibly triggered, and those that provide psychotherapy for trauma...
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5 Ways to Heal the Traumatized Brain (Part 4) [blogs.psychcentral.com/]
“Someone who has experienced trauma also has gifts to offer all of us- in their depth, in their knowledge of our universal vulnerability, and their experience of the power of compassion.”- Sharon Salzberg What a week. You’d have to be living under a rock if you haven’t at all tuned in to the tumultuous news cycle in the US. Those that are survivors of trauma (specifically sexual assault and other forms of abuse) are incredibly triggered, and those that provide psychotherapy for trauma...
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9 Ways to Access Your Inner Strength During Traumatic Times (wakeup-world.com)
A traumatic experience is anything that severely threatens your emotional, psychological or physical well-being. Right now in the world, that would be the COVID-19 epidemic. Not only are many of us losing our jobs while being forced into isolation with scarce resources, but our very survival is being challenged. That’s a lot to deal with! Trauma is essentially what happens when we feel totally powerless, and are frozen internally into that state of being. But here’s the liberating truth:...
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A New Year's Thoughts
Wishing you a Happy New Year of Peace, Joy, Love, Hope & Healing. Take care, Michael. "JOY" - a song of thanks to all of those in my life - performed at the NYAPRS Conference 9/13 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=by4tWjowZVo “JOY”© Michael Skinner Music There’s joy in knowing what I have found There’s joy in knowing that I’m still around There’s joy in knowing that I still care Joy in knowing you’re still there Joy in knowing you’re still there I’m so glad you’re still around Thanks for...
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Accountability In Recovery
I finally got sober after about 6 years of being in and out on in 2015. The list of reasons why this time worked against all the others is very extensive, almost everything about me had to change. One of the most important ones was learning how to be accountable. From a young age, before I even touched drugs, my word meant very little. I was king of doing what I want when I want to and vice versa. If I said I would be somewhere or do something for someone it was more likely I was going to...
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Affirming Our Self-Love, Self-Acceptance, and Self-Worth
CRI hosted a training in Everett recently, focusing on the power of self-love and acceptance. As a branch of our Course Two material- CAREER, an acronym for Celebration, Affirmation, Regulation, Expectation, Education, and Education- we focused the day on Affirmation. Teri brought in arts and crafts, scrapbook paper, and our friends came to participate in making bookmarks. The day started with the song, "How Could Anyone" . How could anyone ever tell you You were anything less than beautiful...
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Ancestral Trauma Meets Yoga in a Hospital Setting
I heard a story this week that sent sensation to my heart. It was the story of a woman of color and her child. They were at a hospital, I'm unsure the specifics of where or why. One of the nurses, a white woman, had an interaction with the child and then complimented the child on their appearance, strength and intelligence. The mother proceeded to hide her child behind her back and said, "oh no my child is none of that." On the surface, as a white woman, I thought, "Ahh, that is kind of the...
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"Breaking the Silence" Warriors of HOPE Series Concludes This Sunday with a 2-Hour LIVE Worldwide Webcast Event!
The “Breaking the Silence with Dr. Gregory Williams” radio program will be featuring a SPECIAL LIVE 2-HOUR WORLDWIDE WEBCAST this Sunday evening, May 10 th from 8:00 PM to 10:00 PM Central Time. This event will be a special conclusion to their WARRIORS OF HOPE series featuring all the guest from the entire series together for one life-changing webcast. The guests are some of the most sought after authors, experts and speakers on the various topics of trauma, abuse, and resilience in the...
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Building Tolerance and Empathy through Music (upliftconnect.com)
Society categorizes music in genres to help identify the aspects of life reflected in that sound–classical, rap, new age, metal, rock, blues, country, etc. It’s natural to listen to genres that feel most familiar to us. It takes courage to use music as a method of self-discovery; to honestly feel the feelings resonating within your body as you listen to new styles of music. Listening in small doses, almost like musical homeopathy, increased my tolerance and appreciation for this new genre.