Tagged With "Social-Emotional"
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The Importance of Connecting with Your Inner Child
When I first started therapy, every time I heard the words "inner child" I wanted to puke. First of all, the only memories I have from my childhood aren't really memories. They are home videos. I have no idea how I felt as a child, and I certainly didn't care to do so. I wanted to put all of that in the past. After all, could my so-called "inner child" really play that big of a role in my life today? Well, as it turns out, she does. Sometimes, my inner child takes over, and I become an...
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To Heal From Trauma, You Have to Feel Your Feelings [psychologytoday.com]
At any age, in any life stage, you can change. Whether you’re 77 years old or 17, you can learn, grow, adopt new habits, and make new choices to create a life you truly love. It may not always feel that way, though. When childhood emotional wounds tether you to the past, it can feel like you’re being swept away by a fast-moving current; although there are branches on either side of the riverbank to grab onto, something is mentally blocking you from reaching out. That “something” is a tether...
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When Hidden Grief Gets Triggered During COVID-19 Confinement
first published by The Meadows 4/15/20 Our sense of loss during the current COVID-19 crisis can trigger hidden emotions from when we experienced a sense of loss before. Whatever early losses you have had in your life — whether they be your own divorce, your parents, or both, or the abandonment of one parent, a childhood or parental illness or death, financial upheaval, constant moving around, or growing up with parental addiction or adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) — they are likely to...
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When It Comes to Your Mental Health, Listen to Your Body [verilymag.com]
In our culture, lack of sleep is worn like a badge of honor. We glorify busyness. Very few things cause us to change up our usual routine or do anything other than what we expect of ourselves. We tend to run on overdrive, barreling through the day’s to-do lists regardless of what we are feeling, to the point that we often don’t even realize what we are feeling—and not just emotionally. We often suppress or ignore physical and emotional feelings that get in the way or slow us down—feelings...
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5 Tips to Get You Through the Kavanaugh Investigation (No Matter What Are Your Politics)
Current events this week are extremely triggering and traumatic for many. Here are a few tips from a trauma psychotherapist.
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Can EFT Play in Integral Role in Helping Victims of Sexual Assault? New Research Says YES
“Sexual injury (assault or otherwise) can lie at the heart of a multitude of presenting client issues, ranging from money blocks to physical health problems to a “fear of being seen” as well as more obvious concerns like intimacy challenges.” Alina Frank, author of How to Want Sex Again This is not an easy topic to discuss, but it is an important one. It is a topic that as EFT professionals we continue to need to further understand and make a difference in helping people to heal from. It...
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Childhood PTSD and Avoidance: Learning to Be OK in Groups (Resilience Series)
It’s super common for those of us who grew up with abuse and neglect when we were small, to feel as adults that we are on the outside somehow. When we're in groups we feel as if we are only partly in it, and never really included . Or we start as a full participant but pull away over time. We un-include ourselves. But it feel like other people are keeping us out. The telltale sign that being on the outside could be a personal choice, even when it doesn’t feel like it, is that we’re almost...
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CPTSD and Social Awkwardness: Another Source of Isolation
For those of us who grew up with abuse and neglect at home, it can be hard to know how to ACT in social situations. Here's an example.... Have you ever been to a hotel where there is a person who is there to carry your bags, and even though you didn’t ask, they carry your bags to the room and it’s totally awkward, and you think “I’m supposed to give them a tip, right? I’ve, like seen this on TV. But you don’t have cash, and they’re just standing there ," and you think, "What do I do? What do...
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Emotional Well-Being and Coping During COVID-19 [psychiatry.ucsf.edu]
From Weill Institute for Neurosciences, UCSF, May 2020 These are unprecedented times. We need to work extra hard to manage our emotions well. Expect to have a lot of mixed feelings. Naturally we feel anxiety, and maybe waves of panic, particularly when seeing new headlines. A recent article by stress scientist and Vice Chair of Adult Psychology Elissa Epel, PhD, outlines the psychology behind the COVID-19 panic response and how we can try to make the best of this situation. Our anxiety is...
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How Are You Feeling? Take a Minute to HALT for Your Health [goodtherapy.org]
Laura's Note: A common outcome of childhood trauma is disconnection with one's emotions and feelings and a tendency to minimize those emotions and feelings one does recognize. This article describes a simple way to recognize several types of feelings that demand our attention and care. How do you feel right now? Great? Okay? Not so good? If you aren’t feeling your best, taking a moment to HALT is one of the best things you can do for your overall mental and physical health. “Halt” translates...
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Resources for ACEs Survivors
With the link between ACEs and health outcomes now firmly established, many people are asking how to help those who have survived ACEs. Often people are seeking written resources. Having developed resilience curricula that were piloted at the University of Maryland School of Public Health and taught to various high-risk populations, I’d like to suggest some resources. As an outgrowth of these trainings, I developed three books that are skills-based and experiential, since information alone...
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Self Soothing Strategies for Parents and Kids
Learn 4 simple tools for parents and kids to calm down together. About the presenter: Joyelle Brandt is a self care coach for moms. She specializes in working with mothers who are survivors of abuse, to help them develop a personalized self soothing toolkit for stress management. As a speaker, mothering coach, and multi-media creator, Joyelle works to dismantle the stigma that keeps childhood abuse survivors stuck in shame and self-hatred. She is the author of Princess Monsters from A to Z...
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Social Media May Foster Post-Traumatic Growth in Disasters [psychologytoday.com]
By Grant H. Brenner, Psychology Today, May 9, 2020 The COVID-19 pandemic is a prolonged, global disaster of epic proportions, unlike anything most people have experienced in their lifetimes. Tolerating Ambiguity and Isolation Unlike many disasters, which have a predictable course (see Phases of Disaster, below), pandemics don't fit a clear mold, with no clear end date, high levels of uncertainty about whether there will be ongoing waves of reinfection, unclear paths toward normality, limited...
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Tell Me Who You Trust the Most
Imagine that you are being held by someone you love (partner, parent, best friend, someone you once knew, or someone you imagine). You are safe and warm and connected. You feel the soothing of presence - the beating of a primitive language. As you find the rhythms of oneness, you know that all is right. You are protected from whatever unknown lies beyond. Close your eyes and feel the exquisiteness...Now imagine that the exquisiteness fails.
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Re: To Heal From Trauma, You Have to Feel Your Feelings [psychologytoday.com]
Getting a great share response to this article after sharing it on my podcast Facebook page. Thanks for sharing here!
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Re: Self Soothing Strategies for Parents and Kids
Awesome! Sharing on The Healing Place Podcast Facebook page. Excited to edit and publish our interview next week.
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Re: Self Soothing Strategies for Parents and Kids
Joyelle, these are great ideas. I love that they are the sorts of things that parents and children can do either together OR alone, especially once the parents have taught the children these strategies and modeled their use. It's so helpful to recognize that for trauma survivors, often when they are feeling stressed it's caused by or exacerbated by an ingrained reaction originating in early trauma, and the key to overcoming that is in the body. Thank you for sharing these ideas here (I was...
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Re: 5 Tips to Get You Through the Kavanaugh Investigation (No Matter What Are Your Politics)
Great tips for actions anyone can take just about any time to relieve stress and process difficult emotions. These sound like good habits to develop so we always have a way to help calm ourselves no matter what is happening in our world. Thank you, Hilary.
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Re: Tell Me Who You Trust the Most
I think many people who've experienced childhood trauma would recognize this piece as a heartbreakingly accurate depiction of how trauma's effects play out in a child's daily life. I believe this could also serve to help those who haven't experienced it, and even those who may be skeptical of the depth of childhood trauma's impact, to understand. Thank you, Carol.
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Re: Tell Me Who You Trust the Most
Wow. I saw myself in some of that and my little sister (now age 49 and not so little, but my memories flashed to little Katie) in other bits. I am going to share this on my podcast Facebook page. Beautiful. Peace, Teri
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Re: Tell Me Who You Trust the Most
Thank you Teri! The post was inspired by my five children and most especially my 9-year-old son. It is really quite bittersweet to hear how much it resonates. ~ Carol
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Re: Tell Me Who You Trust the Most
Wow, Carol, that was a viscerally accurate description of what most of us survivors of child abuse go through. How to trust? Whom to trust? That gnawing and desperate need for connection wrecks our every interaction in adulthood.
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Re: Tell Me Who You Trust the Most
Thank you Cheryl! To me it rings as the "feeling" side of the eloquent post you wrote on Limbic Revision.
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Re: The Importance of Connecting with Your Inner Child
Very encouraging post. I'm not sure anyone who's experienced childhood trauma can recover from its effects without connecting with their inner child, and I suspect that getting to know one's inner child is helpful even for those with no history of childhood trauma. Our childhood experiences -- good, bad, indifferent, and everything in between -- really do lay the foundation for all else to come. I think too that when we connect with our inner child, it's easier for us to cultivate...
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Re: The Importance of Connecting with Your Inner Child
Thank you for sharing! I connected to much of what you wrote. Particularly in the first paragraph when you wrote about childhood memories as being "home videos". Oh so true. But, through EMDR therapy I was finally able to see my life and past through my own eyes in lieu of the dissociated state of watching something horrible happen to a little girl (me) as if I was watching a movie. I wish you (and your inner child) continued growth, healing, empowerment, and peace. Teri
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Re: The Importance of Connecting with Your Inner Child
I'm going to send this to someone I dearly love--had a conversation with her about this just last night!
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Re: Resources for ACEs Survivors
These are wonderful. Thank you for sharing, Glenn! To make sure community members can access your books as more recent posts push your post down the Blog Posts list, it would be excellent if you could add these 3 books to this Resources for Downloading folder . Or I can add them if you would prefer; please let me know!
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Re: Can EFT Play in Integral Role in Helping Victims of Sexual Assault? New Research Says YES
Thanks, Craig. We in the EFT community join you and Alina in continuing to spread the word and validate EFTs successful use in real world solutions to real world problems.its ease of use, flexibility and swift results offer hope to many more people everyday. And the research, platforms and articles like yours keep that momentum fresh and expanding.
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Re: Can EFT Play in Integral Role in Helping Victims of Sexual Assault? New Research Says YES
Thank you, Craig. I regularly use EFT with my psychotherapy clients. It works in so many ways and is especially useful as a self-healing tool to help calm the body when dysregulated. Thanks again for posting this!
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Re: Can EFT Play in Integral Role in Helping Victims of Sexual Assault? New Research Says YES
I have used EFT along my personal healing journey and have had a few of my guests on The Healing Place Podcast discuss its tremendous benefits in working with their clients. Thanks for this informative piece! Peace, Teri
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Re: Can EFT Play in Integral Role in Helping Victims of Sexual Assault? New Research Says YES
Craig, Thank you for posting this. It's exciting news for both those seeking therapy for sexual assault and those providing it that yet another modality shows promise for helping sexual assault victims recover. Thanks also for mentioning the acknowledged weaknesses of the cited study, as accurate research results can't be achieved without critical analysis of the methods used. Excellent resources, too. --Laura
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Re: The Importance of Connecting with Your Inner Child
Haley, I connected with your article in so many ways. I too felt that my opinion as a child did not matter and took that into adulthood,I too had to get sober ,finally at age 35 and through meetings,therapy,self help groups,seminars,courses and socialization with sober friends finally in my 40s I grew up emotionally and was able to mend relationships with my children,stand up for myself and mover forward socially and in business. I had put it all behind me,meaning the seemingly "bad things"...
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Re: CPTSD and Social Awkwardness: Another Source of Isolation
Great post. The thing I like about your blog posts/videos, Anna, is that they often address those otherwise "sidelined" effects of childhood trauma -- the ones that don't often make the clinical "symptoms of childhood trauma" lists. They're also the ones that those of us who've experienced childhood trauma suspect, in our perhaps not-always accurate (because they've been thrown off-kilter by the trauma) guts and hearts that this everyday problem that we can't quite put our finger on is yet...
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Re: Childhood PTSD and Avoidance: Learning to Be OK in Groups (Resilience Series)
Bingo, again. It can take a lot out of a person to put themselves "out there", especially when, as you say, "we’re just working so hard to just deal." For introverts, the uphill battle is on an even steeper incline. But of course the irony here is that pushing ourselves to do what for so many reasons we resist is one of the very things that will help us become whole. Thank you, Anna, for sharing your blog posts and videos here.
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Too Much Alone Time? Tips To Connect And Find Joy While Social Distancing [npr.org]
By Alison Aubrey, National Public Radio, May 10, 2020 We are social creatures. So it's no surprise that quarantine fatigue has begun to set in. "Humans are wired to come together physically," says psychologist Judith Moskowitz of Northwestern University. But, loneliness has become widespread in modern life. And, social distancing has just exacerbated the problem, Moskowitz says. Social connection is essential to our well-being, since prolonged isolation can increase the risk of depression...
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Mental Health Resources and a Self-Care Illustrative Guide [centerforwellnessandnutrition.org]
From Center for Wellness and Nutrition, May 2020 COVID-19 has changed the way we live our day-to-day lives. With many experiencing uncertainties in jobs, healthcare, and support systems, navigating mental health during these times can also be stressful. As the nation struggles to adjust to a new normal in light of the COVID-19 crisis, mental health is perhaps more important than ever. During May, mental health’s value to overall wellness is highlighted as we observe Mental Health Awareness...
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Healing Trauma Through Inner Child Work
So far, in this series on the inner child, we have discussed inner children, and how, when they are wounded, they can affect adult life. We learned that every person has an inner child that is part of our psyche, that is a childish self, inside all of us. There is a model of healing known as doing inner child work. In this article, we shall tackle this subject to understand how we can begin the healing process from having a wounded inner child. What is Inner Child Work? Inner child work is...
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4 Simple Phrases to Halt Anxious Thoughts
Anxiety is a fact of life. There's much we can do to calm ourselves in the short and long-term. Here are some tips for immediate relief.
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A Time for Change
The magnificent fall foliage displayed during the month of October reminds me of transition and forward momentum. Ideally, as humans, we grow and change along with the seasons to find meaning and purpose in life and flourish. Unfortunately, the progression of our lives isn't always smooth and people aren't always kind. There are essential life skills that we can learn, however, that can help us grow through struggle and choose love in our thoughtful responses. We have had varied reactions to...
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Online Workshop Nov 30, Dec 7 & 14 - Reimagining Resilience - Using a Trauma Lens
For more information and to register - https://www.eventbrite.com/e/124637117975 Reimagining Resilience: Using a Trauma Lens helps adults build positive relationships with children who have experienced trauma. We will explore the impact of adverse experiences and the effect they have on developing brains and student behavior. The course gives teachers, parents, and other adults working closely with kids the skills they need to make sure that every child knows that they matter. An online...
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A Recipe for Raising Resilient Children - Skills and Factors that Contribute to Resiliency
Suffering is an expected part of this journey because resilience is a muscle that we strengthen over time and experiences. However, developing this muscle is most effective when encouraged by warm, loving, and responsive caregiving.
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Re: Meditation Techniques for Managing Emotions
There are many different types of Meditation, a person may have to try 2 or 3 different types to get a sense of what they are comfortable with. One important thing to remember is a person does not have to buy clothing, magazines, trips or books to meditate. Meditation is sitting with yourself and then watching what thoughts arise and how often certain thoughts continually show up in your mind. We do not try to banish or stop thinking, we recognize our thoughts and then just let them move on.
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Meditation Techniques for Managing Emotions
Are you emotional about a certain situation? Or feeling "too much,"? Well, you are not alone in this, and it is not entirely a bad thing to feel this way. However, our emotions shape the way we perceive certain events and might even cloud our judgment regarding people and incidents. At the same time, it is also important to understand that emotions are part of life, and they complete us. It is part of human nature to feel certain things, and one cannot simply escape this reality. What we can...
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"How to talk policy and influence people": a Law and Justice interview with Dr Stephen Porges
In this "How to talk policy and influence people" interview with Dr Stephen Porges, the developer of polyvagal theory, we discuss the vagus nerve, the evolutionary development of the mammalian autonomic nervous system and the human social engagement system. We discuss the importance of a felt sense of safety in the presence of other people, which starts with our experiences with our primary care-giver in infancy. We talk about common symptoms due to our bodies being in a chronic state of...
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The Mental Health Care Crisis Continues One Year Later...Maintaining Emotional Wellness during the COVID-19 Pandemic
Join Dr. Monique Collier Nickles on 4/13/21 for a live discussion related to this post by registering for ChildWIN's free Zoom event at https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZAudu2qrT8oHtDAlFX5xEMUt2o9DC_qaimN?fbclid=IwAR1GdgppIzcIrMO8meIdCqoG5_mpuNz1jUAUbt6FcfKOVI9rg9X5Xh8EHBY The outbreak of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) has been stressful and traumatic for many people, particularly our children and adolescents. As we approach the pandemic’s one year anniversary, unfortunately,...
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Re: Be Grateful and Add Positivity to Your Life
I have a micro- minute or two of joy every day. When I wake up in the morning I thank the universe that it is differentiating between day and night. I thank that my eyes opened to see, and my limbs managed to get up, that my ears picked up the bird sons and my lips are giving praise. This is an ancient tradition I practice, a tradition that recognized the value of practicing gratitude and passed it on through its teachings for over 3000 years. I am glad that many more people are discovering...
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Be Grateful and Add Positivity to Your Life
A global pandemic. Social unrest. A contentious election year. Is it possible to be grateful in this environment? YES! Actually, the stressors actually make it even more imperative! Our ultimate goal as humans, for our children and ourselves, is to flourish. Gratitude is the number one way to shift our focus from negative to positive and facilitate growth in our lives. It sounds simple, and it is, but it’s not always easy. How can we be grateful when it seems like everything is falling apart...
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How Do You Want to Live Your Life
I had a good life prior to December 14, 2012, the day of the Sandy Hook tragedy that took my six-year-old son Jesse's life. I was a single mom with a full-time job, a first and seventh grader, living on a horse farm with a wonderful mother/grandmother living nearby to help, and a supportive extended family. Always on the go, I woke up early, went to bed late, and would list the day’s accomplishments in my head each night. When I woke in the morning I would thank God for another opportunity...