Tagged With "Mr. Nice Guy thought patterns"
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The Best Medicine for Confronting Trauma: Be Present [yesmagazine.org]
When our beloved dog had cancer, we did all we could to help him be comfortable toward the end of his life. Because Rottweilers are so strong, they require a lot of pain medication, so we essentially had to give him what seemed like horse tranquilizers. While we were all caring for him, my daughters were in charge of giving him his daily meds. One day the girls were gone, and as I grabbed his handful of meds I thought, “When’s the last time I took my stuff?” So, I gathered all my vitamins,...
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The Healing Breath (wakeup-world.com)
Did you know that we take about 17,000 breaths a day, for our body to be saturated with oxygen? Breathing also triggers many physiological mechanisms. In itself, breathing seems simple, we do not even have to think about doing it. This is keeping us alive, yet it can be hindering us from optimal health. The simple technique is that we draw the air through our nose and mouth, then the process of breathing is mostly a lung job. Together with the diaphragm and the ribs and the intercostal...
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The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
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The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
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The Importance of Connecting with Your Inner Child
When I first started therapy, every time I heard the words "inner child" I wanted to puke. First of all, the only memories I have from my childhood aren't really memories. They are home videos. I have no idea how I felt as a child, and I certainly didn't care to do so. I wanted to put all of that in the past. After all, could my so-called "inner child" really play that big of a role in my life today? Well, as it turns out, she does. Sometimes, my inner child takes over, and I become an...
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The New Science of Empathy and Empaths (drjudithorloff.com)
Empathy is when we reach our hearts out to others and put ourselves in their shoes. However, being an empath goes even farther. Like many of my patients and myself, empaths are people who’re high on the empathic spectrum and actually feel what is happening in others in their own bodies. As a result, empaths can have incredible compassion for people–but they often get exhausted from feeling “too much” unless they develop strategies to safeguard their sensitivities and develop healthy...
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The Self-Care Acronym You Need to Remember on Bad Mental Health Days [themighty.com]
Laura's note: While the author's example of rest includes watching television, in my opinion, true rest--the kind that is crucial to restoring us and that often is so hard to come by--does not involve screens of any kind. That is not to say that chilling in front of a screen can't be relaxing and fun--who doesn't need to zone out now and again?--but the deep rest we need to heal and fill our internal stores so we are equipped to handle stress on a bad mental health day or ANY day comes from...
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The Soulful Journey of Recovery is out TODAY!!!
A groundbreaking new book from the publisher of the New York Times bestseller Adult Children of Alcoholics …The book that started it all! "Tian Dayton picks up where Janet Woititz author of Adult Children of Alcoholics left off…..for those who have grown up in a family with addiction, mental illness, or other adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), the heartache and pain doesn’t end when they grow up and leave home. The legacy can last a lifetime and spread to generations unseen. In The...
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To Heal CPTSD, Do You Need to Love Yourself?
One of the messages that’s been drilled into us by popular culture is that “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else.” This is something people tell you when you get your heart broken and you feel like you must be… no good! And for a lot of years, every time I heard this I felt like a different species than everyone else. Because there were times when I didn’t particularly love myself – and here and there when I was younger, times when I hated myself. But there was a never...
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Trauma tried to kick down the door. Compassion is helping me heal.
The artwork is an original piece titled "Someone at the Door" by Chicago artist Ken Shaw. I bought it about 35 years ago. (The first part of this piece was written in-the-moment, as an email to a friend following what, for me, was a traumatic experience. The second part of this piece was written about 10 days later, as part of a healing reflection. It occurs to me that this experience, and the reflections, might help someone else experiencing trauma and/or seeking compassion for self or...
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Vacancy: Self-Worth in the Mind of a Childhood Abuse Survivor
The feeling of having a healthy supply of self-worth is something I can only imagine might have been more readily available, natural and automatic if I was able to see that in myself as a child. As an adult survivor of childhood abuse, self-worth was not supplied in healthy doses while growing up.
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When You Need to Slow Down But It’s Hard [blogs.psychcentral.com]
Productivity is so seductive. It feels wonderful to accomplish a task and check it off our to-do lists. It feels awesome to accomplish more than we even thought possible in a given day. Plus, there are many tasks that are non-negotiable. There are many chores that as responsible, mature, working adults we must do. Or many projects, that if not done today, just get transferred onto our lists for tomorrow. And then we’re behind. And then we’re scrambling. And what if we never catch up? There’s...
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Why Trauma Survivors Can't Just "Let It Go" [themighty.com]
Laura's Note: This article is preaching to the choir here, I know, but maybe some of us can use a reminder not to beat ourselves up for not succeeding at following the conventional "wisdom" on recovering from childhood trauma or other difficulties that occurred in the past (because for trauma, especially the childhood variety, it doesn't work) -- and to remind ourselves that it's not only OK to abandon to "let it go" method, but far more productive and healthy in the long run to take the...
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4 Ways to Get Through Any Life Change [psychologytoday.com]
Have you ever thought, “I should be happy and excited! I’m making a good change in my life – so why am I so stressed?” You’re probably stressed because almost any change, whether it's positive or negative, whether you wanted it or it was a surprise, can create stress . In fact, since 1967, when psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe published findings from studying the medical records of over 5,000 medical patients, therapists have known that both unhappy and happy life transitions can...
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5 Things Childhood Trauma Survivors Need in Order to Heal [themighty.com]
I spent many years absorbing the blame for my abusive family, and exhausted every possible avenue of attempting to “get along” with them. When I finally went no contact, it took another 10 years to feel safe enough to fully embrace my past and grieve. Even though I thought I had done quite a bit of work along the way, it has taken an entire lifetime for me to come to terms with certain aspects of the abuse. Some memories were locked away, some were buried under misplaced guilt and shame.
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6 Habits of Hope (dailygood.org)
If we are not present, we will not see what’s happening and therefore miss out on life. Conversely, whenever we pay attention, life reveals itself to us Being present also cultivates intrinsic hope because it gives us more choices about how to act and makes it more likely that our choices will be appropriate in the moment. Mindfulness Being present is not only about noticing what is happening in the external world; it is also about noticing what is happening in our minds. In fact, you can’t...
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9 Ways to Access Your Inner Strength During Traumatic Times (wakeup-world.com)
A traumatic experience is anything that severely threatens your emotional, psychological or physical well-being. Right now in the world, that would be the COVID-19 epidemic. Not only are many of us losing our jobs while being forced into isolation with scarce resources, but our very survival is being challenged. That’s a lot to deal with! Trauma is essentially what happens when we feel totally powerless, and are frozen internally into that state of being. But here’s the liberating truth:...
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A Brief Guide to Self-Harm and Unhealed Childhood Trauma [blogs.psychcentral.com]
Self-harm is a commonly misunderstood psychological phenomenon. Some people believe that those who harm themselves are simply stupid because why else a person would do that. Others think that self-harm is only attention-seeking behavior. Some even call it selfish. What is self-harm? Before digging deeper, let’s first define what constitutes self-harm. Self-harmful behavior is a behavioral pattern that results in harm to yourself. A very simple example of that is cutting. Another, more common...
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A Guide to Glide Through the Great Awakening – Spread Hope Not Fear (wakeup-world.com)
What’s happening right now is the greatest awakening we’ve ever seen. Whether you are a light worker or just waking up to the whole consciousness thing, there is something for everyone to learn. It’s an emotional time, one that needs to be honored with kindness and compassion. People are grieving. They are grieving their loved ones and what was. Let yourself be where you are . Allow yourself to be in it. Feel what you feel and let your emotions move through you. It’s the way to the other...
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Accountability In Recovery
I finally got sober after about 6 years of being in and out on in 2015. The list of reasons why this time worked against all the others is very extensive, almost everything about me had to change. One of the most important ones was learning how to be accountable. From a young age, before I even touched drugs, my word meant very little. I was king of doing what I want when I want to and vice versa. If I said I would be somewhere or do something for someone it was more likely I was going to...
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ACEs Connection's Inclusion Tool makes sure nobody's left out
We developed ACEs Connection's Diversity, Equity & Inclusion Tool — called the Inclusion Tool, for short — to ensure that ACEs initiatives across the world focus on being inclusive when forming a steering committee, recruiting leaders, providing education about ACEs science, recruiting members, or providing resources and services within their communities. The more inclusive your ACEs initiative is, the more diverse it will be, giving your initiative a real shot at achieving equity and...
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Ancestral Trauma Meets Yoga in a Hospital Setting
I heard a story this week that sent sensation to my heart. It was the story of a woman of color and her child. They were at a hospital, I'm unsure the specifics of where or why. One of the nurses, a white woman, had an interaction with the child and then complimented the child on their appearance, strength and intelligence. The mother proceeded to hide her child behind her back and said, "oh no my child is none of that." On the surface, as a white woman, I thought, "Ahh, that is kind of the...
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Benefits of Meditation
From many centuries ago, peoples are practicing meditation to control their minds, their thought and so on. By which they can make their mind to think positive and move ahead towards their goals in life. Peoples are struggling with the practice of meditation for physical, spiritual and emotional well being. But if we look from a scientific point of view, thus really meditation does anything the physical and mental conditions of an individual. Does meditation really works! After being some...
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‘Burnout is real’: The importance of engaging in self-care practices when faced with secondary trauma [whyy.org]
Chera Kowalski remembers working at McPherson Square Library when overdoses became a more common occurrence in Kensington. It was 2015, and Philadelphia saw 696 overdose deaths that year — a 52% increase from just two years before — eighty percent of which involved opioids. There were more than twice as many overdose deaths than homicides. At the time, library staff didn’t have naloxone — an opioid overdose reversal medication — or the training to administer it. The best staff members could...
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Cancer as a survivor
Many people use the phrase CPTSD to stand for PTSD from complex trauma. To me, C-PTSD means cancer and PTSD. I have cancer and I’m a trauma survivor. I’m a survivor with cancer but not yet a cancer survivor. Will I be a survivor squared?
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Community Wisdom on Sleep (www.tarabrach.com)
This is a really nice resource shared on Tara Brach's website. It has links to meditation as well as ways others have found to improve sleep or manage sleep issues.
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CPTSD: How to Transform Fear, and Develop INNER STRENGTH
Now that the pandemic has us all in a crisis situation, we’re about to find out to find out who falls apart in a crisis, and who rises up to serve, lead and encourage others. The ones who shine are not always who we expected — have you noticed this? Here in California we’ve been sheltering in place for over two weeks now. Everywhere in the world, we’re trying to figure out how best to respond to the pandemic, how best to care for ourselves and the people we love. It’s a work in progress. For...
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Cultivating Deliberate Resilience During the Coronavirus Disease 2019 Pandemic [jamanetwork.com]
By Abby R. Rosenberg, JAMA Pediatrics, April 14, 2020 Coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) is affecting our health care community in unprecedented ways. As a pediatric oncologist who studies resilience in the context of illness, I started thinking about what this pandemic means for our professional resilience a few weeks ago, when the first US patient with fatal COVID-19 died in my home city of Seattle, Washington. Promoting resilience among health care workers and organizations starts with...
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Defining Resilience Series: Step 5 - Healthy Habit Formation
Transforming our habits is a powerful tool we can utilize as we continue along our healing journey.
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Donna Jackson Nakazawa: “The Angel And The Assassin” on WYPR www.wypr.org/ & Commentary
This episode of On the Record aired today on www.wypr.org It's a wonderful conversation with @Donna Jackson Nakazawa about the research in her new book, The Angel and the Assassin: The Tiny Brain Cell that Changed the Couse of Medicine. Here is the link to On the Record o n www.wypr.org
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Effective way to do Meditation
The most effective way to do meditation is to take your mind to the zero thought state. Meditation should not be something in which you try to make you mind silent. Your mind shall become silent automatically with the help of your subconscious mind power. We have written some posts on the basics of meditation and zero thought of mind . We really appreciate you if you read our blog once. And if you have any opinion please let us know. I know in the community of ace connection, there's a lot...
Blog Post
Effective way to do Meditation
The most effective way to do meditation is to take your mind to the zero thought state. Meditation should not be something in which you try to make you mind silent. Your mind shall become silent automatically with the help of your subconscious mind power. We have written some posts on the basics of meditation and zero thought of mind . We really appreciate you if you read our blog once. And if you have any opinion please let us know. I know in the community of ace connection, there's a lot...
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For Valentine’s Day, Try Being Nice to Yourself [nytimes.com]
Valentine’s Day prompts many of us to send messages of love to the special people in our lives. But I’d like to propose a new tradition. Why not use this day to start being kinder to ourselves? Being nice to yourself, particularly during a personal setback or a stressful experience, is known among psychologists as self-compassion. It’s a simple concept — treat yourself as kindly as you would treat a friend who needs support — but it’s one that most people find exceedingly difficult to adopt.
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Fuzzy Slippers: How Do Self-Care as a Trauma Survivor
When I recommend the need for self-care to trauma survivors, they say it can feel like a chore. Some of them even roll their eyes and tell me, “You mean you want me to take care of myself? Ugh. Who has time for that?!” It’s tempting for any person to undervalue self-care. But for trauma survivors, resistance to self-care has much deeper roots. Healing takes a focused, gentle approach. Self-Care as a Practice of Welcoming Your Needs Many trauma survivors learned to do without self-care...
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How Helping Others Benefits Your Mental Health
Addiction, anxiety, and depression can be all-consuming and enslaving. When I was spending every night, isolated in my room, indulging in opiates and vodka - my entire world hyper-focused and revolved around my pain. It was certainly not the life I was choosing - or so I thought. My messy head was tortuous, chaotic, and I felt absolutely powerless against it. All of my thoughts were amplified extensions of: “You are never going to be enough and you are unworthy of love and happiness.” I did...
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How to Live a More Courageous Life (dailygood.org)
(Image: GlennAzar.com ) In my new book, The Courage Habit , I argue that when it comes to dealing with fear, we often go about it all wrong. Instead of seeing fear as bad and trying to get rid of it when it arises, we can choose to accept fear as part of the process of change and instead practice courage. This choice can help you to feel more emotionally resilient as you make life changes or go after big dreams. Though courage is often thought of as an inborn character trait, it’s actually a...
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How Trauma Therapy Cultivated My Recovery
I was 5 years old when I had my first encounter with trauma. Too young to comprehend the magnitude of the situation, my first grade class participated in a “Good Touch/Bad Touch” workshop,centered around educating and recognizing signs of sexual abuse. I found relief in finding a safe place to lay down the burden I had been carrying. I went straight to the school counselor and told her, in vivid description, the intimate details of my unwarranted molestation. I remember the grueling...
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I Experienced Trauma — Here Are The Wellness Practices I Rely On To Cope [mindbodygreen.com]
Fully outside of political persuasions, the trial last week left countless women around the world triggered. I was one of them. After experiencing sexual abuse as a child, I shared my story for the first time as a young teenager and began what would become a long journey to healing. I tried everything from EMDR to trauma-informed dialectical behavioral therapy to mindfulness practices. I began a yoga and meditation practice in hopes of reconnecting with my body, inner child and self-worth.
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Managing Post-Traumatic Stress in a Pandemic: 3/19 Practices & Resources Update
Are you looking for new ways to get connected, supported, or to manage stress while managing post-traumatic stress during this pandemic? I am. No matter what our past or present life circumstances, it's safe to say a whole bunch of us are feeling more stressed and if we live with chronic post-traumatic stress to begin with, we might be feeling especially vulnerable right now. New Practices & Resources as of 3/19/2020 Ask BR: COVID-19 (Belleruth Naparstek Answering Questions) Bioenergetic...
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Morning Meditation
As I continued practicing it, however, I found comfort in releasing the sound into the universe. There were times I would walk around the rest of the day feeling a beautiful energy, a tingly sensation, radiating from my forehead.
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My Mother was Abusive: 5 Ways to be more Peaceful this Mother’s Day [elephantjournal.com]
“Happy Mother’s Day. Thank you for showing me the kind of mother I don’t want to be.” Do you struggle to find a Mother’s Day card that truthfully depicts your maternal relationship? When reading Hallmark’s loving mother sentiments, do you experience a sense of longing—and even jealousy—because your experience was so different? I thought I was alone in those feelings, but turns out there is a community of us who dread Mother’s Day. [To read the rest of this article by Donna Yates Kling, click...
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My Story about Healing Moving from “What is wrong with me” to “What is happening – how can I take better care of myself?”
When I was a little girl, I had a lot of ear infections. Did anyone else experience that? Every summer in the middle of the fun of swimming in the pool, I would get an ear infection and one year I got one on my birthday. Obviously, I still remember it. It was a sad time. I always felt like I was missing out on things. And it became a pattern. I would go to the doctor and get lamb’s wool and drops put in my ear. It hurt a lot. I can still remember trying to get comfortable lying on the couch...
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Need 45 Trauma-Informed Practitioners or Clinicians For Study on Using a Brain Regulation Headband-Bellabee Designed To Help Trauma Survivors Regulate Their Brains.
Need 45 Trauma-Informed Practitioners or Clinicians For Study on Using a Brain Regulation Headband-Bellabee Designed To Help Trauma Survivors Regulate Their Brains. All trauma informed practitioners who are suffering with or who work with adults or children suffering with C-PTSD, PTSD, Developmental Trauma, Depression, Anxiety, ADHD & Sleep Disorders are welcome to apply to be considered for this study. The deadline to request and submit your application is: March 20, 2020 As a trauma...
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Need 45 Trauma-Informed Practitioners or Clinicians For Study on Using a Brain Regulation Headband-Bellabee Designed To Help Trauma Survivors Regulate Their Brains.
Need 45 Trauma-Informed Practitioners or Clinicians For Study on Using a Brain Regulation Headband-Bellabee Designed To Help Trauma Survivors Regulate Their Brains. All trauma informed practitioners who are suffering with or who work with adults or children suffering with C-PTSD, PTSD, Developmental Trauma, Depression, Anxiety, ADHD & Sleep Disorders are welcome to apply to be considered for this study. We currently have 41 applicants, and applicantions are approved on a first come first...
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Neuroplasticity and Mindfulness
To understand the treatments for complex post-traumatic stress disorder, it is helpful to understand the interaction between neuroplasticity and mindfulness.
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New Book: Crazy Was All I Ever Knew By Alice M. Kenny (pseudonym)
To this day, I still think of my childhood home as "the crazy house." Like me, millions of adult Americans are living with the effects of the precarious childhoods they experienced as offspring of mentally ill parents. If you are one of them, you can no doubt relate to my book. As a child, you most likely lived in a crazy house of your own. As an adult, you’ve probably retained and may even relive memories of your tumultuous upbringing. Crazy Was All I Ever Knew combines memoir with...
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Opening Up by Writing It Down: How Expressive Writing Improves Health and Eases Emotional Pain
In my last post, I highlighted a book Vincent Felitti mentioned at the CAMFT conference in Orange County. In the same talk, Dr. Felitti also recommended a form of therapeutic writing developed by James Pennebaker to help individuals uncover painful emotions and heal trauma. Pennebaker's book Opening Up by Writing It Down: How Expressive Writing Improves Health and Eases Emotional Pain details the why and how. The Pennebaker method has been referenced elsewhere on ACEs Connection; I thought...
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Optimists For The Win: Finding The Bright Side Might Help You Live Longer [npr.org]
By Patti Neighmond, National Public Radio, September 1, 2019 Good news for the cheery: A Boston study published this month suggests people who tend to be optimistic are likelier than others to live to be 85 years old or more. That finding was independent of other factors thought to influence life's length — such as "socioeconomic status, health conditions, depression, social integration, and health behaviors," the researchers from Boston University School of Medicine and the Harvard T.H.
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Our best bet against burnout is self-care, just not the kind you think [mashable.com]
By Rebecca Ruiz, Mashable, June 21, 2019. When burnout comes for you, it’s not subtle. It casts an inexplicable darkness on the most mundane things: driving in traffic, showing up to work on time, filing an expense report. It feels like a weight tied to your waist, stealing any spark of energy you will into existence. You might confuse it for depression — and it very well could be — but, by reflecting on how and when it arrived, you suspect the culprit is the unraveling of your work life. At...
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Parenting during a Pandemic: Donna Jackson Nakazawa Shares
Donna Jackson Nakazawa was a featured guest in an online conversation about coping with COVID held on Twitter recently. It was hosted by KPJR Films . Donna was asked about "effective 'go-to' survival techniques" for parents and her Twitter thread response is comforting, centering, and compassionate. Her words are consolidated and shared, with her permission, below: Donna Jackson Nakazawa is a science journalist and the author of six books, including “ The Angel and the Assassin: The Tiny...