Still there: Alzheimer's has ravaged his mother's memory, but music brings her back (npr.org)

Adam Kaye and his mother, Marti Kaye, spend every Sunday together. Adam normally plays some of her favorite songs on his guitar, with Marti whistling or humming along. But he recently had shoulder surgery and won't be able to strum a guitar for a while. Dustin Jones/NPR

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Eighteen years ago, Adam Kaye was hosting a family barbecue at his home in Del Mar, Calif., when his mother, Martha Kaye, broke the news. At 71 years old, she realized that she was becoming forgetful. While working in the kitchen, she would ask herself out loud, "What am I doing?" Martha — better known as Marti — started calling everyone "Darling" because names had begun to slip her mind.

Adam had suspected something was wrong. So when Marti told him she had Alzheimer's disease, the diagnosis didn't come as a surprise. "But that didn't mean that it wasn't very difficult to hear," he says. "It was something upsetting for my young daughter, who had never seen her grandma cry at the time."

As a lifelong musician, Adam has always enjoyed playing for his mother. Before the onset of Alzheimer's, Marti would sing along, and the pair would perform as a duet for family and friends.

So every Sunday for the past eight years, Adam has packed his guitar and made the short drive to visit with his mother. Once there, he plays some of her favorite songs: tunes from the metaphorical pages of the Great American Songbook, like 20th-century rock standards and folk and jazz tracks. When he plays for her, he sees a glimpse of the woman he has known his entire life.

A musical bond between mother and son

Back in February 2019, Adam posted a video to his band's Instagram account of him playing "Blue Bossa," by Kenny Dorham, for Marti. Recording their performances since then makes their time together more fun, he says, and the videos give him something he can look back on and smile. They also seemed to strike a chord with his followers, especially those with a loved one with Alzheimer's.

"Some of the posted comments touched upon how these videos and the togetherness brings tears to their eyes and makes them think of their own loved ones and their own stories and what they go through," Adam says.

He has since posted more than 100 recordings of him and Marti performing together.