Dear friends who are white and privileged by virtue of that categorization (not necessarily because of wealth, intention or ethnic background), 

If you are receiving this it’s because we have gone through some beautiful things together and/or we have been a significant support for each other as a friend or colleague. This is information on how you can do that now for someone who is Black.

Here are 10 ways that you can make an effort to show up differently for your Black friends and colleagues. Please take heed:

1. Don’t ask me how I’m doing because I’m Black or tell me that you’re praying for me and my family or tell me about your grief, guilt, helplessness, crying or confusion triggered by the presence of racism. I cannot take that on at any level. And, if you’re my friend you’re always praying for me and my family and I thank you.
    
2. Don’t act like nothing is going on when major racialized unrest or tragedy is occurring. That’s almost as offensive as number 1 and certainly more ignorant. I want to relax with you, not deny with you. My feelings for you don’t make racism go away, nor, obviously, does your affection for me, and neither do our good times together.
    
3. Understand this, I probably don’t want to talk with you about race unless a) I am being paid to do so as part of my work, b) you deeply understand the dynamics of racism (which takes years of consistent action and daily study), or c) we are currently involved in a coordinated anti-racist action together. Having Black people in your life that you love does not make you an effective, or active, anti-racist

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