Brené Brown: Listening to shame: TED Talk: Inspiring: Informative: Ideas (23 min)

I learned a great deal about vulnerability, shame and intimacy from my own mother's journey as a parent to 5 children and a spouse for over 4 decades....she would often say "everyone marries a stranger" which would prompt us to have lengthy discussions about the nature of life, love, and relationships. I was the youngest of her 5 children, and she (a full-time nurse by day) often processed pain/struggle/challenges in complete isolation. This seemed odd to me that someone surrounded by so many caring and professional people would live in relative isolation. It was not until much later in life that I learned of her various sources of shame which had literally debilitated her. In some ways she was an excellent nurse for others while incapable of being a "nurse" to herself.

By trade I became an "educational nurse" when I chose a path of being a special education teacher and was aware of the pitfalls of isolation, shame and the true nature of courage because my mom did confide in me the sources of her shame. It was through my mother than I learned that everyone has vulnerabilities yet intimacy/connection can only be achieved when someone else knows and then protects those vulnerabilities rather than exploiting them. 

I uploaded this even though it is from 2012 and has been viral because I think what she speaks is very true and it takes courage to tell your story and when you get together is a group and everyone takes the ACEs scoring test you are actually looking at what you might feel shame about or feel others will shame you for......I don't want to feel shamed for being me anymore.  I will tell the truth, I am a courageous hero.  So are you. Thanks Tina.