C-PTSD and "frozen"

What comes to mind for me is the idea that curiosity is the opposite of trauma. As Arielle Schwartz described: "Growing up with childhood trauma inhibits creativity and replaces curiosity with fear." Are you genuinely curious about using any of the drugs that you listed?

Hello Jeffrey

I can relate deeply to your inquiry, as a starving artist, I have the intense appetite to try many things, go down many paths, but not the wealth to do that willy nilly.  What I am finding is that the need for investigation itself is part of the trauma.  There are many ways to get a start with mental health where you sit right now.

I can only suggest from my own path that I am on, that resources are not too expensive if we don't mind the footwork it takes to accomplish this.  There are free library books from your community library that may help you, there are free use videos on YouTube that talk about breathing exercises and polyvagal exercises that you might try right at home without a layout of money before you are ready to commit to a path.

There are always the Free to Use Anonymous Groups that you can join, Alcoholics, Addicts, and Adult Children of Alcoholics along with Over Eaters and Sex and Love Anonymous.  All anonymous groups are free and your privacy is very high.

As you meet others who share your desires to change and heal, you may not feel so alone and the Anonymous groups have the widest array of members from many walks of life, including many people from your own community.

Alot of times we think of alternative medicines as The Holy Grail, when in fact there is no Holy Grail.  There is knowledge, and knowledge applied or knowledge denied or pushed aside.  There is so much you can do right where you are right now that may serve you and your mental and spiritual health.

MM

Hi Amy Howard, I was just reading the USA today this afternoon and there is an excellent article in there about Psychedelic Therapy now.  It seems the California is going to vote on decriminalizing the use of Psychedelics and that is amazing news for those who live in states that are decriminalizing. 

I have 8 on the ACES Scoreboard and have been passionately curious and creative since birth.  I think many times its too easy to see a Trauma Sign, and there are very very many of them, and then apply it to everyone.

I am just finishing up the week long series with Dr Gabor Mate' and today he is talking quite positively about psychedelic therapy.  I too hope that people don't rush into using these drugs, just like they would not rush into using mainstream antidepressants,  but slowly as I investigate for myself, Psychedelic Therapy is not the boogeyman it used to be.

MM

Hello Jeffrey, I was reading the USA Today after watch Dr Gabor Mate's week long intensive Series on Trauma, and had to come back and tell you that I am actually hearing really good things now about Psychedelic Therapy for CPTSD and for other trauma issues.

I myself am CPTSD and Dr Mate' says that sometimes there is a reduction in the PTSD for half of the people who come in for treatment.  That is a real important sign, but I myself will investigate this further. 

Just wanted to say that now with your note this morning, the USA Today article and with the Intensive with Dr. Mate, I am looking at going deeper for myself

MM

@Mary Martell I agree, there are many, many different ways that trauma impacts people. I should have written that more clearly. I imagine that if you were very creative your whole life, you do not relate to the "frozen" part of the description. I feel like the antidote to "frozen" is having a curiosity about the world.

Hi Amy, when I saw the Frozen word, I immediately thought of " unable to move" either forward or backward to recover or to start recovery over again.  I just realized that 2 people (Us) can perceive the word Frozen so differently...Thank you for clarifying that.  I do appreciate you clearing that up

MM

@Mary Martell I think that is what it is, unable to move, or be moved by others. CPTSD is often associated with relationship problems. There are many, many paths to being moved. The drugs listed in this question are used to break patterns and routine. They allow people to experience things outside of their normal range of experience. People can also experience new things through new relationships - be the relationship to themselves, others, nature, art, etc.

Hi Jeffrey,
Polyvagal theory and understanding attachment trauma are hugely helpful in this journey of healing complex PTSD.

Since you are familiar with NARM I imagine you have looked at their database of therapists to inquire if there might be any with a sliding fee scale?

Other potential resources, if you're not familiar with these, might include

- There is a free fb group on polyvagal theory (Vagus Study Group), which might be useful and supportive to join since the discussions are wide ranging and we are all learning all the time as part of our healing journeys.

- Irene Lyon is trained in somatic experiencing and runs online trainings, but also has a large database of free youtube videos and regular info / newsletter that might be of interest since she is polyvagal and trauma informed and includes attachment info in her work

- Arielle Schwartz, PhD, mentioned earlier, has written books on this topic, including one with exercises to do on your own and that help recognize and work with our triggers. That said, this kind of healing does best when healing and working in relationship, and it tends to take time given how long our exposures were during childhood. Perhaps you will be able to find someone who takes your insurance in time.

- I have a blog where I write about chronic illness from trauma and nervous system / polyvagal perspectives. This includes attachment work I do on my own healing journey that might offer some support or ideas, as well as writing about freeze and books that support this healing journey

Wishing you all the best to you on this journey so many of us are on. ACEs / PACEs connection is a great resource and a wonderful tribe!

Hello Veronica, I read your post with great interest, and signed up for everything...OK, not everything, but most of it because I am fairly new at Recovery and because the info looks really well written.  Thank you so much for posting

MM

Hi Mary - Glad things feel like a good fit. Welcome! Here's to our process of Recovery!!! :-)

Wow. I love the support and warm exchanges in this thread. I echo the recommendation about 12-step meetings. They can be incredibly regulating. Also look to YOGA 12-Step Recovery, Y12SR. It is free or by donation. Also the workbooks by Sarah Peyton — Your Resonant Self — and the ACOA workbooks are great. Also Donna Jackson Nakazawa has a program. The body work and recovery combo of Y12SR? It’s a help for many people I know.  

@Carey Sipp

Yesterday I watched the movie preview and then the Zoom meeting with Dr Mate and the mom and daughter who were portrayed in the movie. Four Good Days.  What I found really uplifting is that with the daughters addiction and the moms previous marriage problems, no one was pointing fingers and throwing blame around ....It reminded me of my early days in Anonymous meetings, where we did not have cross talk around the table, the person speaking was allowed their time to speak and then we just continued until the meeting was done with the other members telling their stories of hope and recovery.

Recovery is never easy.  Many times we have to search for those meetings or those people who help us feel worthwhile and whole...until we can stand again on our own feet.  This journey now through the bowels of trauma that many of us have never waded into before is bound to be daunting to many people who have never been either in rehab or a recovery program.  I remind myself every day that Patience and Love is The first direction we need to take with new members and with ourselves down this fairly new path of Healing Trauma.

MM