How does one deal with continuous trauma

It is a common experience.  And it makes it hard to figure out who you really are. If we look at the research about healing there are several things that stand out for people exposed to adverse experiences. They are all ways of taking care of yourself.

• This is not who you are, this is what you are experiencing. In order to grow from the adversity, (which is possible) this is critical. Easier said than done, but it creates a window for healing.
• A support network. Dr. Perry's work really demonstrates that the bigger the helpful network of support, the better the outcomes. Most of the kids he works with do continue to experience adversity. The support network makes the difference.  Feeling felt and heard is healing.
• Regular exercise. This is good for all of us but particularly helpful for people exposed to trauma.
• Mindfulness practices. This also helps with bullet #1 and is can be difficult for people who have experienced trauma. Slowing the thoughts down, often allows other strong feelings to arise - and many are painful. So starting with support and in tiny bite sized pieces and very short time periods can be helpful.
• A good trauma-informed therapist (helps with bullet #1). Not everyone has access to this.
• Patience... and the understanding that adverse experiences don't go away. You will always be triggered...but it will shift. You will be able to recover more quickly and recognized that is not who you are, but something you experience. With it will come a deep sense of empathy and compassion for yourself and the human experience.
• Recognize the gift. People who grew up and experience adversity have a set of skills that can be really useful. They are often particularly sensitive to non verbal communication (they relied on it for years for safety). As they manage their own pain, they are often able to hold space when someone is in pain, they don't need to fix, or brush over bad things. They understand that being present with someone else's pain won't hurt them, and it is one of the biggest gifts of presence you can give to another human being.

Hi Monica:

It's a good question.

When trauma has been an environment and not only an "event" it feels super familiar and living a life that not filled with trauma, symptoms of stress, and the ways we cope can be a challenge I have a friend with an ACE score of 10 who says, "I can't do calm," and we talk about how sometimes we create/recreate/perpetuate drama/trauma/coping because it's habit.

It's not like we are WANTING more trauma but learning how to be calm, and what that's like for other people, and how to be safe, out of danger, and having more boundaries can be a start. Trauma can feel so familiar and habitual. And, if we're in trauma in the present, meaning actual danger as well as not feeling safe, getting safe is the priority but sometimes it starts with having language, images and examples of what that maybe looks like depending on where the person is at.

If we had lots of trauma in childhood we never call it that. We call it life or childhood and learning that it's not the norm or way or routine is sometimes the start. Even a discussion about this very thing might be illuminating for people. I know for me, when I first learned about trauma I was like, "That's trauma? And that's trauma? And that's trauma, too?" Because that certainly wasn't the word I used. 

Thanks for sharing this question!!! And what did you say?
Cissy

Hi Monica, I am so sorry for your experiences and I HEAR YOU!

Each of us finds our own path towards healing - which when I was told this it was very unsatisfying!  I wanted to know HOW, now!   I hear you.

I was recently reminded of the work happening in Alaska and a short (8 min) video they produced.  In the video they talk about historical trauma and how it continues to impact their community members today.  For me, this video provided calming yet informative insight into how one community is addressing multigenerational trauma using healing practices.  I hope this Alaska Resilience Video provides a nugget or two of useful insight. 

Thinking of you, Monica.....Karen 

Alaska Resilience Video

Lovely video!

@Christine Cissy White Thanks for your response, I love how you differentiatied the difference between trauma being an environment and not just an event. I realize how much more I have to learn about trauma. Not just my own healing, but as a healer. In terms of my response to the young lady. I was observing the group. I did not respond. 

@Karen Clemmer thanks for the video, I will definitely look at it as soon as possible. multigenerational trauma is something I am extremely interested in learning more about.