How to Talk About Spanking...

Hi, Robbyn -- This is a great pamphlet, as is the other info that came in the email.

Feel free to post it as a blog, so that as many people as possible will see it.

Cheers, J. 

Robbyn, I was brought up during a time where the phrase "spare the rod, spoil a child" was very common. Though I grew up in a loving home, I was a very hyperactive young boy and seemed to be attracted to mischief:). Therefore I endured my share of spankings. As a young father I remember the time that I gave my daughter a couple of swats on her leg with my hand. When I went to pick her up, I could see little red marks outlining my fingers. I was horrified, I didn't think I had swatted her very hard, but seeing the faint imprint of my hand really shook me up. I remember as it was yesterday. I also remember as I held her tight in my arms and told myself that spanking was not going to be a part of my discipline. My wife and I sat down and we committed to reading and finding other effective ways of discipline, spanking was not going to be a part of our toolbox. I cringe when I hear my high school students tell me about the physical beatings they endured until they were big enough to make them stop. Your pamphlet brought that memory back to me and I am grateful that we chose other ways to discipline our children. You are doing a great work, too many children suffer from physical hitting delivered out of anger. I have to finish on a positive. As I was sitting in my recliner Saturday, my daughter (the one I spanked) came through and was walking my granddaughter to her think spot. It wasn't long that she returned and hugged my granddaughter and talked to her about listening to mommy's directions. That was one of the strategies my wife and I learned and it was heart warming to see my daughter using the same strategy....no spanking. Very hard lesson for me to learn, but I broke the cycle of "spare the rod, spoil the child". Thanks for the awareness that you are bringing to others so they might stop the cycle as well. Blessings, Jim

Jim,

This is such a beautiful story.  I wonder what it was that allowed you to see the effects of what you were doing with your daughter.  For some of us, the light goes on.  The sad thing is, boys are more externalizing than girls and so they react to spanking with more acting out behaviors, so it develops a transactional relationship with the parent where the little boy is likely to be spanked again and more often.  Your hyperactivity was probably dysregulation.  There is quite a growing body of research to show that boys are much more vulnerable to negative effects of spanking genetically and environmentally.  They externalize more and they have more genetic sensitivity to developing anti-social behaviors.  It is ironic that our culture condones hitting boys much more than girls, and yet boys are probably at greater risk for harm.

Thankx Robbyn..downloaded this and plan to post it at our little community reader board at the post office...been doing a little community activism lately since joining here..:)

That is wonderful Jeff! I really appreciate small community activism where ideas spread among people that know and are more trusting of each other.