I've built a website to encourage students to tell their story...NoACEs.club and would appreciate your input

Love this. Have thought of “just one.” Just one generation with NoACEs and imagine how profoundly different the world would be. Just one generation would turn the tide to the evolved, enlightened, peaceful, creative, compassionate amazing world in which we wouldn’t hurt the earth or each other. It only takes one person to change the life of a child, “good or bad.”  Just one person. Just one generation. NoACEs! I am so with you. Lucky granddaughter. 

I had a similar sense over the holidays, too. Seeing my family and how happy and functional we’ve become. My heart was warmed, just as it was warmer by reading your post. Happy New Year to you and your granddaughter. 

John Trayser posted:

I'm a ZERO in the ACE world.  My adopted grand daughter is a 7.  She has now been a part of our family for 12 years and says she feels like a ZERO.  During a long car ride we came up with the idea of a positive feeling website to encourage students of all ages to have a place with some idea of what ACEs are and how nothing seems to happen if somewhere/somehow you tell your story to that one person that cares.

The trauma of doing the story telling face to face we feel keeps many young people from making that leap of courage and faith.  Yet, if you in a private way found a place and time to write your story down and put it somewhere safe...you may have taken the first step toward resilience.  As we talked about this idea she said..."Wouldn't it be great if we could set up a club that reaches out to let kids to know how common ACEs are and that they are not alone."  If we help diminish the shame part of ACEs wouldn't we all be better off?  Where else are they going to find that moment that pours out their story in a safe environment?  If it is written out already and could be handed to someone...does that help going forward.

That was the germination point for the idea of NoACEs.club.  For if our goal isn't to ELIMINATE ACEs by education and honesty...then are we always going to be dealing with post trauma lives?  We even put some music on there like "Right is Right" which Brogan sings a song that I wrote that EVERY child should listen to before they make the wrong decisions about choosing where to belong during their school years...when they are hungry to belong somewhere.

Any thoughts would greatly be appreciated!

www.NoACEs.club

With Kindness and Hope,

John Trayser

 

Hello Carey!  Good call and I have attached another song...It Only Takes One!

Should have been the one I added...have too many!

John

Hello Carey!

Good call...I should have added this song instead~attached.


John R. Trayser


http://www.johntrayser.com/

The Greatful Dad!

406.209.7383 cell

800 Musket Trail
Nashville, TN   37217

there are two ways people could review this, and both have something to say.

From the viewpoint of a web developer I like the layout, the warm colours, but some of the language is a bit too "complex", or "adult". On the negative side I'd be careful of taking too much control away from the site user -- there's a carousel / slideshow on the home page -- and there's quite a rich "literature" on the negative aspects of doing so, but at least there's some control left to the site user, so it's not a total waste. I'd also be careful with the spelling and syntax -- "greatful dad" -- really???  My apologies -- just caught on that this is just  a sales pitch for stuff you've produced -- in which case pay the extra and re-think the whole thing. For some people, in some circumstances, the very last thing you should want is for people to "tell their story" -- you're clearly not a therapist, so I'd make sure you had one involved, and make it public that they are involved, keeps the whole thing more "honest", and accountable.

And under Store this doesn't make sense "if they knew pain...."  -- Who?, this isn't a sentence. Also it seems to take forever for the Store page to come up.  Have you tried using any website metrics / commenting programs? I've quickly run it through one, CoffeeCup's Website Insight -- see here

https://drive.google.com/open?...wqdcYc3raT_USuC4QT1t

but since this is clearly a commercial endeavour I'd take these thoughts and use them as a foundation for a discussion with a professional web developer, maybe you could even turn it into an app!

Why do I harp on about the "mechanics" -- it's about engagement and user experience -- anything, especially having to wait around, when you're feeling anxious anyway, makes it more difficult for the user to engage with the site, making them more likely to leave.

Looked at from a "therapeutic" perspective, I've got a real problem with people "telling their story", as if it's about the "history" of what happened, rather than the current effects those experiences they have had -- what's happening now, what sense is the person making of those experiences, how are they experiencing themselves now -- did you catch the series (free at time of "broadcast") put on by NICABM -- the Treating Trauma Master Series?  VERY well explained in those sessions -- van der Kolk, Ogden etc -- see attached.  And this consideration comes before a consideration of under what circumstances, to whom and how any "telling" should occur.

Good luck, I wish your "clients" the best.

John Trayser posted:

I'm a ZERO in the ACE world.  My adopted grand daughter is a 7.  She has now been a part of our family for 12 years and says she feels like a ZERO.  During a long car ride we came up with the idea of a positive feeling website to encourage students of all ages to have a place with some idea of what ACEs are and how nothing seems to happen if somewhere/somehow you tell your story to that one person that cares.

The trauma of doing the story telling face to face we feel keeps many young people from making that leap of courage and faith.  Yet, if you in a private way found a place and time to write your story down and put it somewhere safe...you may have taken the first step toward resilience.  As we talked about this idea she said..."Wouldn't it be great if we could set up a club that reaches out to let kids to know how common ACEs are and that they are not alone."  If we help diminish the shame part of ACEs wouldn't we all be better off?  Where else are they going to find that moment that pours out their story in a safe environment?  If it is written out already and could be handed to someone...does that help going forward.

That was the germination point for the idea of NoACEs.club.  For if our goal isn't to ELIMINATE ACEs by education and honesty...then are we always going to be dealing with post trauma lives?  We even put some music on there like "Right is Right" which Brogan sings a song that I wrote that EVERY child should listen to before they make the wrong decisions about choosing where to belong during their school years...when they are hungry to belong somewhere.

Any thoughts would greatly be appreciated!

www.NoACEs.club

With Kindness and Hope,

John Trayser

John Trayser posted:

I'm a ZERO in the ACE world.  My adopted grand daughter is a 7.  She has now been a part of our family for 12 years and says she feels like a ZERO.  During a long car ride we came up with the idea of a positive feeling website to encourage students of all ages to have a place with some idea of what ACEs are and how nothing seems to happen if somewhere/somehow you tell your story to that one person that cares.

The trauma of doing the story telling face to face we feel keeps many young people from making that leap of courage and faith.  Yet, if you in a private way found a place and time to write your story down and put it somewhere safe...you may have taken the first step toward resilience.  As we talked about this idea she said..."Wouldn't it be great if we could set up a club that reaches out to let kids to know how common ACEs are and that they are not alone."  If we help diminish the shame part of ACEs wouldn't we all be better off?  Where else are they going to find that moment that pours out their story in a safe environment?  If it is written out already and could be handed to someone...does that help going forward.

That was the germination point for the idea of NoACEs.club.  For if our goal isn't to ELIMINATE ACEs by education and honesty...then are we always going to be dealing with post trauma lives?  We even put some music on there like "Right is Right" which Brogan sings a song that I wrote that EVERY child should listen to before they make the wrong decisions about choosing where to belong during their school years...when they are hungry to belong somewhere.

Any thoughts would greatly be appreciated!

www.NoACEs.club

With Kindness and Hope,

John Trayser

Hi John

I can sense your sincerity and the story telling piece is a great idea....for some. I didn't check out the entire site however. I stopped when I read this atatement, "NO parents…ZERO…have a child with the intent of hurting them emotionally or physically." This statement is not true. I'm a human trafficking survivor and there are children born for the sole purpose of being sold, exploited, abused and even tortured for the parents to benefit from. A lot of people have a hard time believing this evil exist and that's why this population is left with no resources. I wasn't trafficked by family but I know survivors who were. They have a mountain to climb to reach "normal". 

I was taught to do an I was told and to obey. My parents said they beat me because they loved me. Its confusing for them to wrap their head around it when people say, "NO parents…ZERO…have a child with the intent of hurting them emotionally or physically."

Telling my story was so healing. I'm listening to adult children of traffickers now and its so hard for them to articulate their stories. They need help to do this. A site that helps is great but when they unload it all, its the listeners reactions that can make them or break them. So often traumatized  victims don't know what is best for them or what is the safest route to take. Unloading it all online can be scary if they were exploted on line by online trolls or sextorted. I find online relationships taboo for me. Too many unknowns out there. Face to face is scary too but once a victim unloads online, their minds can spin with what the receiver of that story will do with it. 

Just my 2 cents.

Ruth Rondon

 

John, 

 

I would love to help in this endeavor.  I'm a 47 real old woman with an ace score of 9/10.   I wrote my story almost 20 years ago for a college english class. She asked for an autobiography of our lives up till that point.  I was 28 years old.  She about fell on the floor upon reading it.  Do you need any moderators or someone who's been in their shoes to help?  I am more than willing to share my story.  

Good morning Joanne!

I'm looking for a way to make this go viral in the education world. If we bring Aces out into the open and they actually have it be like a club in the schools it would give an opportunity for kids to feel that they actually belong somewhere...
I know that there are many children that never get to tell their story and my goal was to have them write it and hide it and wait for that one person that they could tell their story to. Just the pressure of having to personally tell the story to someone keeps too many kids in the shadow of shame and never get the chance for Hope and resilience because of the anxiety of tellingng your story out loud to someone.
Only those of us that are aware of the aces epidemic are aware of the significant numbers of kids that this affects every single day as they prepare to go to school.
I'm looking for any ideas that would bring this into the public eye more so we can build a stronger future for those kids that have been traumatized.

Any ideas are greatly appreciated!

John Trayser